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| Ethnic Dating - Is it about personality, attraction, or stereotypes?
Posted: 4/1/2008 8:11:59 PM | | I dont feel/think black women are really hurting at all, especially in this day and age. Most black females I know choose to date whoever that want regardless of race. Dont be fooled there are TONS of white men who date and marry black women. This is coming from someone who lives in the midwest and defitnitely did not expect to see it as much as I did/do. Theres a whole website/forum dedicated to this I believe. | |
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| Ethnic Dating - Is it about personality, attraction, or stereotypes?
Posted: 4/1/2008 8:21:41 PM | It depends on where you live fafi83. I have been able to travel a lot and live in work/study in different places. In some areas, things are much more open. In others, there is still the mentality that the only woman who is attractive is White. I also found it surprising that White men in Toronto and southwest Ontario were more closed to dating Black women than people in the midwest (where I did live for a while).
Anyway, based on US statistics one, can't say that TONS of White men marry Black women. There is still a huge discrepancy between the number of Black men who marry white women and the number of White men who marry Black women.
Black husband /White wife
2005.....288 **
2004.......287 *
2002....... 279 +
2001....... 247 +
2000....... 268 +
White husband /Black wife
2005........134 **
2004.......126 *
2002....... 116 +
2001....... 113 +
2000....... 95 +
In thousands.
Sources :
+ = http://www.census.gov/population/socdemo/hh-fam/tabMS-3.xls
* = http://www.census.gov/prod/2005pubs/06statab/pop.pdf
** = http://www.census.gov/prod/2006pubs/07statab/pop.pdf
In some areas, things are changing slowly. In others, old patterns and stereotypes persist.
I definitely open a LOT more openess in places like the UK and France. | |
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| Ethnic Dating - Is it about personality, attraction, or stereotypes?
Posted: 4/1/2008 8:41:43 PM | Personally if I absolutely HAD to choose , even though I can like women from any racial or ethnic "type" really (depends on what she looks like basically -- simple as that), I would choose (and find I have dated mostly) Latin / Italian / or Hispanic women basically. But then I don't really even consider that, in some cases at least, to really be much of a bigtime "interracial" dating scenario to tell the truth. Unless the girl is Latin- American with primarily , say, Amerindian ethnic background for instance, then it might apply, I guess. I speak Spanish anyway, and was raised in that old school Roman Catholic Italian background, so....there's really not a hell of a lot cultural differences, etc, overall I have found. Another part of it's b/c the term "Hispanic" actually in reality covers such a HUGE (actually multi-racial) range of people (everyone from a blond-haired Galician Spaniard to a primarily Euro-descended Argentinian or Chilean, to a Mexican Indian, can today all be lumped -- probably wrongly, thanks to the US Census Bureau --- into that same broad "racial" category on official US documents, etc).
For some reason though, I've always only really considered "interRACIAL" dating, in my own mind at least, to indicate black / white, and Asian / white (or of course black / Asian or black / Hispanic, etc.....).
But....... sorry for the digression........ Jamaican guy OP, it's going to depend a lot on where you're at and who you're dealing with. Some non-black ppl up here (US & Canada) are not as open to dating black ppl for example as are others (not to be a d!ck, just saying...). Obviously most Americans are still dealing with the black/white racial divide, clearly, even if only mentally. Sometimes therefore they won't want to date blacks for prejudiced reasons (even if they won't ever admit that in public) whereas other times it's just a simple matter of not feeling attracted to one another.
I think you'll find North American society in general to be much much different in these respects than the islands. I've never lived down there (only visited), but I could tell from the general vibe down there it's much more laid back as far as all this goes. As you said, a Jamaican was a Jamaican, regardless of race or ethnicity. Not always necessarily the case for everyone in the US at least (not sure about Canada but I'm pretty sure it's probably a bit similar -- in parts at least). Best of luck to you. | |
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| Ethnic Dating - Is it about personality, attraction, or stereotypes?
Posted: 4/1/2008 9:02:46 PM | Right maybe not tons, but then maybe still alot more than are accounted for in numbers etc. but then statistics Ive never been a stickler for. I had a black female friend from Europe and she said Italian men were crazy about us Now as far as the standard of beauty bit I was shocked when a transfer student I went to school went had magazines from her native Germany and two out of the three magazines had black models on the cover I dont mean the light could be biracial but dark skinned, and arent the last of the worlds "natural blondes" there or is that sweden? | |
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| Ethnic Dating - Is it about personality, attraction, or stereotypes?
Posted: 4/1/2008 9:30:24 PM | Actually I think Germans, especially the southern Germans, can tend to be quite darker than a lot of ppl perceive. I have found more true blonde/blues (with the height, etc, to match) of Scandinavian background (yes probably Swedes, or maybe Icelanders ...... but even there you can find enough brown and black haired folks, so....???). But if you mean the true "Nordic" type. Hard to say where. Probably, naturally, the further north you go really. Real blonde hair (especially like naturally nearly "platinum" color) is relatively rare I think, as it's a recessive trait (again, I THINK ..not 100% sure on that).
And yes I have found when I've been to Europe, a preference in parts of central Europe today for jet black , like central African black models, etc. Like Alek Wek for instance. I did notice however, blonde or not, German girls tend to be doing the lion's share of the interracial and inter-ethnic dating (much to the deceased Fuhrer's chagrin I'm sure...  ).
And yes Italians (especially Italian-Americans) and black Americans ....... well...... we have always had a sort of odd .... relationship... I think. Spike Lee focuses on that in his films quite often, or in his 90's films at least. A lot of times it's been a love-hate thing, really, in some of the "old neighborhoods" and such especially. That's why you'll see an Italian guy making a racial slur with his buddies one minute, and then driving off leaning to the side in his ride with a tilted hat or do-rag and all kinds of gold chains, etc, bumping Public Enemy, a little while later. lol... And we usually have been, if not the first then right up there in line to do a double-take at black girls, in general, whether we admit it to each other or not. As they say in the dialect in the southern parts of the old country, "tenemo l'Africa piu vicin" --- "We have Africa most close" (to us). It's explained certain things, historically, without a doubt.
Still, this type of thing oftentimes goes denied or just unsaid amongst us. I do know, from studying a book called "Are Italians White" in a college sociological course I took, that when our people started first arriving here (particularly more rural and southern Italians) in the first few decades of the 20th century, they were considered more like "in-between" peoples. Latin peoples who were hot-tempered, potentially prone to criminality and womanizing, and not interested in hard work. Not quite "white". But , still, obviously not black either. They "worked" towards "whiteness" in this country, as that book put it ~ as did several other non-WASP immigrant groups as well.
Certainly the KKK didn't like us, I know that (one of the larger mass lynchings was actually 12 southern Italian immigrant men, all at once, by Klansmen and local men down in New Orleans). Part of it was because the first Italians here evidently didn't have (upon first arrival at least) quite the visceral level of disdain for the blacks who were already living here that many of the northern Europeans had. That was learned with time here. They did business with blacks openly and couldn't get the hang of the whole segregation thing if they'd settled in the South. That was all something they / we basically "learned" as an immigrant community, quickly realizing that it was more beneficial , in this country, to get oneself considered as white as humanly possible, as quickly as possible , for social advancement, etc. This is why many of the Italians, especially in NY, etc, will still get so outraged (sometimes violently so, lol..) by any reminder that their ancestry may not be ... perhaps wholly as "white" as some of them may like to think. | |
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| Ethnic Dating - Is it about personality, attraction, or stereotypes?
Posted: 4/2/2008 12:58:33 AM | I agree with the author, those who can see beyond race gain from the added dynamics that come with a multi-cultural relationship. It is kinda like the quip > being bi-sexual doubles your chances of a date on Saturday night! javascript:smilie(' ')
To answer your specific question (excluding the obvious answer of racism) I think you have to look at how the two cultures differ - Canadian (& American) women have less reasons to say yes, compared to other countries.
Economically, there is more unemployment in Jamaica, creating a greater need for that financial stability women seek - creating a demand for any nice guy with a job.
Culturally, the feminist movement told women that they need not rely on men and this is socially accepted - after all democracy is about equality at any cost. On one hand they are financially more independent (expanding their choices - they can now have the "bad boy" while the "nice guy" is optional). But with all widespread changes there is a backlash. Ever wonder why there is a growing number of asian/russian/mail-order brides - and other reasons/social effects and the wheels on the bus go round and round. The end result, like a gentle mix of oil and vinegar > humans are ethnically becoming more mixed, while local cultures hold their molecules....no.....local cultures are actually being preserved. Take Thailand - many know something about the culture now, but what about 15 years ago?
Last summer I was reading about gender issues in Thailand. The author, a Scandinavian woman with more than 20 years studying the culture, was puzzled why western feminism was attempted, but was never successful. Basically, the concept of 1970's feminism conflicts with the concept of karma and reciprocity. To say you do not need a man in one sense is like saying you don't need an arm- why throw away a perfectly good arm to make a fashion statement [my analogy] - be nice - I'm tired javascript:smilie(' ') - good night | |
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| Ethnic Dating - Is it about personality, attraction, or stereotypes?
Posted: 4/2/2008 1:06:12 PM | | I do have to admit I tended to think alot of europeans(i.e. germans scandanavians) were washed out and pale, but actually alot of them have a good amount of a golden undertone to their skins like Victoria Rowell's ex husband(which in turn her daughter has). So I could see how alot of the southern germans are darker. | |
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| Ethnic Dating - Is it about personality, attraction, or stereotypes?
Posted: 4/2/2008 1:27:57 PM | Well I think people should date whoever they like and unless I have figured out how to read minds, I really don't know the reasons why. I try not to assume to much although I have to say it annoys me when people use dislike of one group to justify why they only date x,y or z. That happens a lot with black men justifying not dating black women I think.
Personally I happen to prefer white men, not in a pathological way - I like myself, I like my family and I like black men. But just as some people like long legs, small people, tall people whatever - some people will have a preference for certain races or ethnicities.
Though, one does have to watch out for the exoticising. Even I have to watch out for that, particularly with red heads 
Must remember not to stare and be fascinated/interested just for the hair color! | |
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| Ethnic Dating - Is it about personality, attraction, or stereotypes?
Posted: 6/25/2008 1:12:35 PM | In reference to less white men dating black women as a black women i believe in quality not quantity. I don't do something because my friends do it or its a new trend, i don't fall for cheap cheasy lines or too accomadate ones fantasy. I was raised with morals and class. It's all about love someone accepting you for who you are and you the same in him. For me It depends on the city and where your located , i've seen just enough black and white couples and it's all about a persons preference.  | |
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| Ethnic Dating - Is it about personality, attraction, or stereotypes?
Posted: 6/25/2008 1:31:03 PM | | Oh yeah, you are naive. Race/Ethnic differences are exactly that and cannot be changed. They are a fact of life. If one is not attracted to a person of another race or ethnicity, 'moving past ' it is totally inapplicable. You can't force this on people. | |
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| Ethnic Dating - Is it about personality, attraction, or stereotypes?
Posted: 7/28/2008 7:22:41 PM | Asian men and women going crazy to have their eyelids reconstructed to remove the epicanthal fold, making themselves look less Asian and more European.
I saw a report on this and was truly saddened that Asian men and women would even consider doing that just to fit in....but then I wasn't really that surprised since I am a fan of Anime and for some reason many characters look pure European.....suddenly all of the people in Japan are white??? whats up with that anyway??? the only time you see a Asian looking person is if they are the wise old master.....nerdy/weird comic relief....or a some sort of bad guy....I'll never understand that. | |
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| Ethnic Dating - Is it about personality, attraction, or stereotypes?
Posted: 7/29/2008 12:07:16 AM | *sigh*
Going into nerd mode here.
No, no this is NOT the view of japanese animation, ESPECIALLY in Japan. Yes, to us of European decent they do resemble those of our decent, however, just looking at the names, personalities, just the area of the world most of these stories are based around, these are clearly NOT Eurpoean, and sure as hell not BASED on European descent. Tell ANYONE in Japan who watches anime regularly that the characters look European, and they will give you the dirtiest and most awkward look.
And I have to say, Asian people are not going "crazy" about this reconstruction surgery. Even those who are attempting to white-wash themselves know how stupid a surgery this is. Yes, mroe asians are having "rounder" eyes but that's because it is a natural-born trait and they hardly take notice of it, if they do at all. And Japan is a country that's notorious for fitting-in, especially in its school systems. | |
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