| Is it wrong to want a child/children at 40?
Posted: 7/24/2008 1:44:12 PM | | I don't think it is wrong to want a child at any age, but I do think it is wrong to end your marriage because there are no children. You had a family and you gave it up because she wouldn't give you children. Sorry I just don't understand at all. Honestly it just pisses me off. Why? Maybe because I have wanted a family of my own since I was 10 and don't have one yet(have tried and failed) and there you had one and you just threw it away like it was garbage. | |
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| Is it wrong to want a child/children at 40?
Posted: 7/24/2008 1:57:07 PM | Of course, it is not wrong! My father had my little half sisters in his mid-forties no problem. He had a young wife, so they did it. If you are going to end your marriage for a reason this would be a one of them. Many women leave men that are medically unable to give them children. That decision must not have come easy for you.
I intend to get more established before I start a family as well. My only thing is that I find older women sexy. I find career women sexy as well. These kinds of women make fewer babies unfortunately. | |
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| Is it wrong to want a child/children at 40?
Posted: 7/24/2008 2:09:08 PM | | I think so.I'm 44 and if I was to have a child more than likely I'll be dead by the time they are in their 20's or early 30's.My grandparent were in their 40's when I was born. | |
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| Is it wrong to want a child/children at 40?
Posted: 7/24/2008 2:16:21 PM | it would be wrong for me. i deliberately decided to have kids early so they would be grown and gone and i would still have some life left in me to do my own thing.
only your doctor can say for sure whether it is wrong for you. | |
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| Is it wrong to want a child/children at 40?
Posted: 7/24/2008 4:45:43 PM | | Well, if you are 40, that makes her 49, and while I don't think you are an idiot for wanting kids, I think she's being very smart NOT to have one at this point in her life. Find someone younger than you who wants kids...the time to have kids with your wife/ex wive/whatever was 10 years ago when she was 39...surely you didn't expect her to have one at this stage in her life. | |
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| Is it wrong to want a child/children at 40?
Posted: 7/24/2008 4:48:57 PM | I think it was irresponsible at one time. If you think about it, not so long ago, people having children at 40 wouldn't live long enough to see their children married let alone hold their grandchildren.
But now our quality of life (at least in North America) is improving all the time. I believe that we will live longer and longer lives, so having a child later is not necessarily irresponsible as it was at one time. Many people are starting families at 40.
Nutt | |
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| Is it wrong to want a child/children at 40?
Posted: 7/24/2008 4:51:26 PM | I can see what many of you are getting at, relating to youngsters - yet the men hiding it a little - and speaking as a rather mature man I awoke this morning bright and fresh - and said out aloud -
" I feel like and 18 year old! - then ruefully added "But I don't suppose I'll get one !". | |
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| Is it wrong to want a child/children at 40?
Posted: 7/24/2008 5:22:20 PM | | I dont think it is wrong at all. You have a desire to be a father. I personally, being almost 40 myself, as a woman would not want to have another child, but many people do at that age. I have a friend that became a father for the first time at 42 and he is amazing with his son. He had wanted kids for so long and he is just an amazing dad. Good luck!!!!!! | |
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| Is it wrong to want a child/children at 40?
Posted: 7/24/2008 6:01:07 PM |
now I get a lot of comments indicating that I am an idiot to want to start a family at 40 yrs old... You're less of an idiot than the people having numerous children in their teens, or early 20s, when they have limited income and no financial security.
I''m in my late 30s, and I'd still consider having children, if I happened to meet the right woman. (Although I think the chances of that happening are getting slimmer as I get older)
Perhaps some people would think 40's too old. But I realise I'm likely much more prepared for the responsibilites of child raising, than I would have been if I'd had children 20 years ago. | |
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| Is it wrong to want a child/children at 40?
Posted: 7/24/2008 6:04:35 PM | My Dad was 47 when I was born- he's still going strong at 84. There were definitely times I have wished my parents were younger.
I think a lot of women are looking for men exactly like you. My problem is the opposite- I need a man your age who doesn't want them! That's actually harder to find, though I would never have guessed it. | |
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| Is it wrong to want a child/children at 40?
Posted: 7/24/2008 6:29:29 PM | Older parents are just that old! Lets be real. They are no better than a young parent.Kids don't need much ..we just think they do!. provide a loving home , decent values and a good education.
You want a kid so bad ...I have one you! You can have the bill for his college education too! | |
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| Is it wrong to want a child/children at 40?
Posted: 7/24/2008 6:40:18 PM | | If you wanted it bad enough for the relationship to break down, then you should find someone who wants the same thing. People do have children in their 40s. Usually with a better result than those in their 20s. Hopefully you won't provide a broken home with insufficient funds at this age. | |
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| Is it wrong to want a child/children at 40?
Posted: 7/24/2008 6:42:11 PM | Wasnt sure to begin with if this was a man or a woman-
Man over 40 no big deal you will be an older father but its not really a problem
Woman over 40 a lot more to think about besides the risk of birth defects in the baby, you most likely will be the oldest mother on the play ground. Your children wont be double digits by the time you are 50. Its harder being an older mother in a lot of ways that are hard to put into words, you will be tired a lot. | |
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| Is it wrong to want a child/children at 40?
Posted: 7/24/2008 7:18:34 PM |
Wasnt sure to begin with if this was a man or a woman- When I read the opening post, I noticed that the poster claimed to have once been married to a woman, and had hoped to have children with her.
Why not just assume, from that information, that he is a man. | |
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| Is it wrong to want a child/children at 40?
Posted: 7/24/2008 9:32:40 PM | I will probably get slammed for this, but I think 40 years old is too old to start a family. Whether you are a man or a woman. I mean, accidents happen. But, to PLAN a family at over 40 is just plain selfish. You will be in your 60's when the child graduates college. You will be in your 50's when he/she wants you to go roller blading or play football. And, what about this child's child. This grandchild will hardly know their grandparents. And their grandparents will truly be to old to do vacations and disney world, etc. with them. I don't know what I would do if I were in your place. But, I would hope I could make the unselfish decision.
Sherry | |
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| Is it wrong to want a child/children at 40?
Posted: 7/24/2008 9:55:11 PM | ^^^^
to PLAN a family at over 40 is just plain selfish. Isn't it more selfish to plan on having a family when you're 20, without the financial means to support that family?
You will be in your 60's when the child graduates college. So????
I fail to understand how this traumatizes the child?
your 50's when he/she wants you to go roller blading or play football and???
Other than pointing out your ability to do math, what's your point?
My father was in his 40s when I was born. I was still able to play sports when he was in his 50s. I'm not sure how his age should have been preventing me from doing that?
grandparents will truly be to old to do vacations and disney world, etc. I know a lot of kids, born to much younger parents, who've never gotten the benefit of a vacation to Disneyworld.
Usually, among families I know, the kids born to younger parents are less likely to get lavish vacations. Because the younger parents are less likely to afford such vacations.
I am aware that there could be a lot of negative factors involved with having children at the age of 40. But there's also a lot of negative factors involved with having kids at any age.
However, unlike the niave person who's quick to get knocked-up in their teens or early 2os, the 40 year old is likely much more aware of the potential negative situations that may arise, and is prepared to accept them and deal with them. | |
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| Is it wrong to want a child/children at 40?
Posted: 7/24/2008 10:09:06 PM | | i don't think you're an idiot at all. hey some women have their first child at 40, so why not you?? also it's much easier for a man as you don't actually have to carry the child and no wear and tear on your body. don't listen to your friends. what kind of friends are they anyway if they think you're an idiot? they sound judgemental and negative. | |
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| Is it wrong to want a child/children at 40?
Posted: 7/24/2008 10:29:30 PM | | even young women can have children with Down Syndrome. i worked with a woman once who was 27 when she had her child and he was born with Down Syndrome. 27 certainly is not old!! | |
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| Is it wrong to want a child/children at 40?
Posted: 7/25/2008 2:20:21 AM | | My last is leaving for college in a month and I'm looking forward to doing it all over again. Age is just a number if you really do want a family. | |
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| Is it wrong to want a child/children at 40?
Posted: 7/25/2008 4:38:24 AM | Go for it!! Don't listen to anyone except yourself!! I'm going to be doing the same thing except I want no man in the picture because it's too late to find the right guy at my age. Good Luck to you man. | |
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| Is it wrong to want a child/children at 40?
Posted: 7/25/2008 7:31:44 AM | I had my 2nd child at age 40. He is 15 now. My bf and I constantly joke about how nice it would be to have a child together. We are sad in some ways that it is too late (for me).
I never felt tired with my 2nd. I do eat right, run and work out a lot and look 10 to 15 years younger than I am. I feel just as good now as I did when I was 20. My body is my body and I take care of it! Just like I do my car and my house. Don't want it to break down early due to lack of proper maintenance....
I can run circles around my children.
Definitely not wrong to want children at age 40. 40 is still young these days! | |
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| Is it wrong to want a child/children at 40?
Posted: 7/25/2008 7:43:32 AM | | Why not? The only rules we set are the ones in our minds... Just be certain that any future relationships don't go too far without this clarification being made. | |
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