| No coffee, no tea, no nothin', is this normal?
Posted: 3/30/2008 11:49:23 AM | I guess it was a good thing that you bought your drink(s) prior to the cheapies showing up. Otherwise you would have had a very dry meeting.  And probably would have gone hungry. Maybe now you can stop wondering why thease guys are single.  | |
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| No coffee, no tea, no nothin', is this normal?
Posted: 3/30/2008 1:55:11 PM | | OP~ I've been there. Met a guy from POF a while back and after a few chats I accepted his invitation to meet at a restaurant for lunch. There was a bit of a wait due to the lunch rush so he put his name on the list and we got a table about 10 minutes later. We were given menus and he says he's just going to have a coke.I'm thinking to myself why did we wait for a table in a busy restaurant if he wasn't going to eat? So we sat there for an hour drinking two dollars worth of pop and taking up a table that could've earned the waitress a decent tip. During the date we got to talking about our dating experiences and he mentioned that he was tired of shelling out 40 or 50 bucks for first dates only to never hear from the women again. Well I'd planned to pay for my own food anyway. Later that night he called me to follow up on the date. After some pleasantries were exchanged I told him that I'd been a little embarrassed sitting in the middle of a busy restaurant drinking coke. He became defensive to the point of being argumentative in defending his decision to suggest meeting for lunch instead of some place free or low cost like a walk on the waterfront or for coffee. To me it's just common sense and needless to say we didn't go out again. | |
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| No coffee, no tea, no nothin', is this normal?
Posted: 3/30/2008 2:36:29 PM | Geez if someone is so tight that they can't cough up for a coffee I would definitely not be wanting a date number 2 thats for sure... being tight wadded and mean is perhaps the most unattractive quality a person could have...
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| No coffee, no tea, no nothin', is this normal?
Posted: 3/30/2008 3:54:43 PM | Maybe they didnt want any tea or coffee, maybe the main point of a coffee shop meeting is a place for the woman to meet the guy where she feels safe.
You go there for a date not for the food or drink. | |
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| No coffee, no tea, no nothin', is this normal?
Posted: 3/30/2008 4:38:44 PM | | I'm not much of a coffee drinker, myself. Once in a while I might make a trip to Fourbucks and have a small black coffee during a break from work, but it's rare. Typically, if I'm going to meet someone just for coffee, then the location would likely have been her idea and not mine. In such an instance, it's highly probable that I would show up and not buy anything. | |
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| No coffee, no tea, no nothin', is this normal?
Posted: 3/30/2008 4:40:44 PM |
Geez if someone is so tight that they can't cough up for a coffee I would definitely not be wanting a date number 2 thats for sure
Since when does not wanting to buy a coffee make someone a tightwad? Perchance, maybe, they just weren't in the mood for a coffee. Or they don't like coffee.
I think it's kind of silly to label someone as mean just because they didn't buy something. Should I also feel obligated to buy something every time I peruse the local mall, too? | |
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| No coffee, no tea, no nothin', is this normal?
Posted: 3/30/2008 7:02:27 PM | | Going to the mall and not purchasing something is one thing. You are not taking up someones paying space. At a restraunt, coffee shop, whatever with limited space and or seating, you are. | |
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| No coffee, no tea, no nothin', is this normal?
Posted: 3/30/2008 7:29:51 PM |
To me, it comes off as cheap and inconsiderate.
Could you explain more clearly that comment when you then say...
Total investment: $2 for a two hour conversation.
Why didn't you purchase a second cup since you took up the table for 2 hours?
Also, it could be they weren't as interested in you as you thought and wanted to bolt as soon as possible and didn't want to hear you you ask if they were gonna finish their beverage... | |
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| No coffee, no tea, no nothin', is this normal?
Posted: 3/30/2008 8:36:06 PM | Ehhhhh..
There's something you forgot to take into consideration.
He was there to meet you.
Not get coffee.
Men are single minded creatures, usually we can hold/do one thing at a time.
So maybe you should decide which was more important, coffee or conversing with you.
C. | |
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| No coffee, no tea, no nothin', is this normal?
Posted: 3/30/2008 8:40:16 PM | | I would imagine that they didn't want to order a coffee or tea, talk, find out they don't like the conversation, want to pick up and leave, and have you say: "Oh, but you haven't finished your coffee (or tea)". Either that, or they didn't want to buy a coffee, because then they expected they would need to pay for yours, and if the conversation went on longer, then they would pay for ALL your coffees. That's OK for a first date, but not if you go on 50 first dates, and the first 49 of them don't continue to even a second date, that would be very expensive. Where I am, a cappuccino is £1.60 ($3.20), and people will easily have 2 an hour. If each date lasts 2 hours, and you each have 2 coffees an hour, for 2 hours, that's $25.60 a date. For 50 dates, that's 1,280 bucks, just to get a second date. For people who don't date a lot, or get a lot of first dates that lead onto second and third dates, that's not too bad. But for people who have to go on a LOT of first dates to get a second one, that's very expensive. But to a lot of women, it would be rude to go on a first date, order a coffee and not offer to buy her one as well. It's ruined a few good dates for me, because I didn't think of it beforehand. But if you aren't ordering anything at all, a lot of those same women would not find it rude, because you aren't having anything either. | |
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| No coffee, no tea, no nothin', is this normal?
Posted: 3/31/2008 6:43:56 PM | "Ahh, only a dollar. So, Dunkin' Donuts and not Starbucks? Jus Dave brings up a good point though. If the behavior is that extraordinary to you, why didn't you just ask them? You stated that each meeting lasted for over a hour, why not ask "Aren't you having anything?" or "Hey, conversation is thirsty business. Aren't you parched?". If it happened three times, then curiosity should have won out."
Thanks for the suggestion. I've gotten several good ones. BTW, it wasn't Dunkin' Donuts, it was an independent place in one case and an ethnic cafe in the other case. Not expensive, but nicer and more interesting than Dunkin' Donuts. | |
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| No coffee, no tea, no nothin', is this normal?
Posted: 3/31/2008 7:18:36 PM | | actually that does seem kinda weird especially after hours of being there.I don't know maybe they were just weren't feeling the date and were ready to leave. | |
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| No coffee, no tea, no nothin', is this normal?
Posted: 4/1/2008 2:22:08 AM | It's not the venue. It's almost never the venue. It's the person.
I'd be happy with a date just sitting on a rock not doing anything but talking. But, try convincing a woman that's a good idea. Rocks are hard to sell.
I go to places I'm invited to. Even if I don't like the place. If I say I don't like the place, they say "Well why did you come here if you don't like it?" Duh, I came here to hang out with you. | |
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| No coffee, no tea, no nothin', is this normal?
Posted: 4/1/2008 2:31:22 AM | No~ it is not normal and they all did you a favor.
Extremely poor display of class and character. Unacceptable as potential suitors.
I've never done a coffee meet/date/interview in my life, thankfully.
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| No coffee, no tea, no nothin', is this normal?
Posted: 4/1/2008 5:00:26 AM |
I am wondering why you didn't wait for them before entering the establishment? Had you entered together perhaps they would have been more comfortable ordering. Just my two cents worth!
This is a good point. The guy being late didn't help though!
If the guys don't want to drink, why did they agree to meet there? | |
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| No coffee, no tea, no nothin', is this normal?
Posted: 4/7/2008 2:44:26 PM | maybe they were waiting for a waitress to take their order or waiting for you to offer to buy them a drink.
It is strange that all 3 would do that. personally, if I'm in someones place of business even to meet someone I would have to buy something if not coffee or tea, something else. | |
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| No coffee, no tea, no nothin', is this normal?
Posted: 4/7/2008 3:01:14 PM | post 28
ok now that I'm done laughing at these fools that are too cheap to even consider buying a cup of coffee or anything else are afraid they might lose money if they don't get a second date.
I do agree with you.
I think I would feel like a fool and cheapskate if I was to do something like that. It's one thing to be too cheap to offer to buy her something but another thing to be too cheap to buy myself something.
I think it also shows some people have no respect for the other people thinking they can sit around someone elses place using their space for paying customers and think nothing of it. If they didn't want to pay for anything they should have said something and met someplace else like a park bench or even a mall. yes they do have benches in thier lobbies for people to sit and rest.
I know there is no way I could ask a woman out for lunch or supper than sit there and not order anything to eat. | |
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| No coffee, no tea, no nothin', is this normal?
Posted: 4/7/2008 3:27:24 PM | meh, I wouldn't worry about it...it is sorta odd that it happened 3 times in a row (that point has been well made) but I wouldn't read into to much. Maybe they didn't have any change or small bills on them, or any cash at all because they had been in a rush because they were running late already and didn't have time to get any out...there are so many reasons that they may not have bought a coffee. I don't understand why it is so rude and inconsiderate, unless it was super busy and there was very little extra seating, and even if was rude and inconsiderate, if you were there for 1-2 hours, than don't put it all on him...it is an awfully long time to be drinking one cup of tea. If it was really that offensive, maybe you should have said something to at least one of them.
maybe they should do like they do at some/most strip joints, and make you spend money in one way or another to stay in there. | |
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| No coffee, no tea, no nothin', is this normal?
Posted: 4/9/2008 6:39:18 PM |
I am wondering why you didn't wait for them before entering the establishment? Had you entered together perhaps they would have been more comfortable ordering. Just my two cents worth!
Naahh, I do the same - and most times they'll get a cup of coffee or tea on the way over (or order a drink at the bar if that's where they're meeting me). It's better for me to get there first, order something, pay for it and take the money out of the equation since it's a first meet. | |
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| No coffee, no tea, no nothin', is this normal?
Posted: 4/9/2008 11:47:02 PM | I went on several 1st meets at coffee shops. Most of the time (cell phones are wonderfully convenient) we arrived at pretty much the same time.
I seem to remember ordering a hot chocolate once when it was already kind of late. (Generally have to wake to get ready for work before 5am)
At first glance it would strike me as rather rude to not order anything from the establishment UNLESS you were so wonderfully engaging that they forgot about their thirst for a couple of hours or you would not stop long enough for them to "cut in" and announce they were heading over to order something... | |
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