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| Do women ever play mind games , lie and waste mens time ?
Posted: 4/26/2009 3:18:58 PM | Their is equal in both sexes, I know other women and have sister's and I can see some of them caught up in the whole mind game and playing each other routine and from what I see it takes two to tango, it is a game and it does need at least two players involved......
It seems to be one person trying to get the other to do they what they want, and instead of negotiationg like adults they try to manipulate and do things to get the other to do what the other doesnt want to do, something like that,
It does your head in, It's easy to spot these people and avoid them, they are normally good people who do well in every area except relationships with the opposite sex...... | |
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| Do women ever play mind games , lie and waste mens time ?
Posted: 4/26/2009 11:26:16 PM | msg 57
"Fvck with my mind before you fvck with my body." She actually wanted men to play mind games with her as part of a kind of extended foreplay so I guess some people do.
I read that completely different .............
comming from me it would mean you aint getting in my knickers unless you can think with both heads.............
as for mind games humans are the only critters that can dont it make us special!!!!!!!
if your on the same page it can be fun but i read books back to frount seldom anybody gets me anyway more likely to do my own head in
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| Do women ever play mind games , lie and waste mens time ?
Posted: 4/27/2009 5:02:03 AM | So far 95% of the women that i met in real life lied to me heaps of times. They all like to play mind games.
one example is "i miss you" and then i ask "when can i see u" n then "i don't know"... 1 month gone... nothing.
then again she said "if someone misses you they will surely wanna see you" then in 5 minutes. she says i miss u and again she doesn't know when she can see me.
i used to go for girls 2 years younger than me then i kept putting the age up. no chicks the same age as me are almost the same. Looks like i need to look for an older woman that doesn't tell lies to your face. | |
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Naamah
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Joined: 11/1/2008
Msg: 80 | |
| Do women ever play mind games , lie and waste mens time ?
Posted: 4/27/2009 9:33:02 PM | Seems like some of the stuff being described is what I would call normal human interaction. We're not robots...we do have needs, wants, desires, predisposed responses, scars, insecurities...but I personally don't think that moving through this life and interacting with the other inhabitants of our world with all of those things is the same as "playing mind games". "Mind games", to me, implies there is forethought, planning, trap-setting, manipulation and sneaky intent behind it. Looking for a fight. Wanting to hurt or trample on someone. Pretending emotions not felt. Playing with someone's feelings. A "gonna mess you up bad" intent. Do normal interactions within relationships really have that as their foundation??
Mind game 1. Honey, do these jeans make my arse look big? (say something nice to me because don't forget it's all about me. Even if you have to lie)
I am not sure why it would be assumed that this is any kind of mind game? Maybe she just honestly wants your opinion? My husband sometimes used to ask me if he looked alright before we went out somewhere. I never assumed he was playing a mindgame or trying to make the universe revolve around him. He wanted to know if I thought he looked good, and a bit of reassurance from your partner before heading out into the public domain is nice. People you date will want you to think they look good, will sometimes want a bit of reassurance that they look OK, and will value your opinion. If someone is a bit insecure about their ar$e they might ask the 'dreaded question' because some clothes do indeed accentuate/minimise certain features and it would be assumed that a partner would have an eye for such detail. Lordy if you can't be open to baring your personal insecurities with your own partner, what hope is there.
And this
Mind game 2. Honey, you look great in that dress tonight & sexy too. (yeah & I want to bend you over with that big arse facing skyward & ........)
I'd reckon both things are cool things to say to your partner actually. Everyone likes to feel desired and sexy...and I reckon that kind of verbalised unbridled desire would even negate the word "big" as any kind of perceived insult. So don't think it...say it. If your partner didn't even have to ask but as soon as she was ready to head out for the night you just looked at her, smiled, and said, man I'd like to nail you...well she's not gonna have to even ask the dreaded ar$e question...she's gonna feel sexy all night. And I honestly don't think (this theoretical) she is playing some pre-plotted mind game...I'd bet she'll just be a regular, insecure, wants-to-be-loved flesh and blood human being.
Becoming more practiced at human dynamics is not the same thing as playing mind games. | |
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| Do women ever play mind games , lie and waste mens time ?
Posted: 4/27/2009 10:30:49 PM | Ok, that's it! Naamah, will you marry me?
The fact that we're not gay is no hindrance to our union... we could see other people and there'd be no jealously issues, no game playing...
If your partner didn't even have to ask but as soon as she was ready to head out for the night you just looked at her, smiled, and said, (* insert --- "if I was a" here) man I'd like to nail you...well she's not gonna have to even ask the dreaded ar$e question...she's gonna feel sexy all night.
See? It's so simple, isn't it? It's not rocket science, yet there aren't too many men around that 'get the point'. So - I'm gonna marry you so that you can say all the right things from now on. Cool?
Ps: Cool slumber party last night hey? I've been spitting out feathers all day... | |
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| Do women ever play mind games , lie and waste mens time ?
Posted: 4/28/2009 2:35:44 AM | To a certain extent we all play mind games but if kept in check they can be healthy and I am not talking about the games that are intended to hurt anyone, but in the hiding of presents and denying any knowledge of said surprise.
I also agree with Naamah, geez I must be getting a bit doddery in my old age as I seem to be agreeing lately with LULT, Hilly and Naamah.
If my wife and I were going out I would let her choose what clothes I should be wearing as I found that board shorts, singlets and sandals just aren't the style of clothing one can wear anywear.
This wasn't a mind game on my part, it was just a fact of life. | |
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| Do women ever play mind games , lie and waste mens time ?
Posted: 10/30/2009 5:09:34 PM | I Dated one from this site for 18 months.
In the end I Ended it as She was mentally unstable and I was well over the Mind Games.
I must admit I did love her and tried to See threw it but in the end it took its toll.
We spoke of getting hitched many times but there was emotional baggage from her ex husband she did not let go amonst other things.
There were episodes of Insanity where I truly believe she was possessed by an evil spirit, Totally shocked me, Would be 3 am in the morning and I would wake up to her yelling at me for not listing to her while she was talking to me while I was alseep.
When these events and some others i wont mention here happened even her facial expression was not that of her own.
We had split up twice and both times she suddenly had some major issue which I felt sorry for her and took her back.
She also had compared me to her ex on the final occasion, She wanted me to Mollycoddle Her 10 days a week when We lived in different towns and I run a business in my Own. She wasn't paying my bills. I had to pay them. I had to Work as well.
In the end I could see most of it was the mind games we speak of here.
These mind games continues after I pulled the pin , in the end I had to remove her from my contacts as it was affecting my Life, I Wasn't allowed to be happy any more because of her, She would not allow it. So Things had to be deleted and removed in order to stop contact.
I Guess it has made me more Thicker Skinned to women now which is a shame as I am truly a genuine nice person and do anything to help people out, Sometimes to my own detriment. | |
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| Do women ever play mind games , lie and waste mens time ?
Posted: 10/30/2009 7:10:11 PM | I for one second cannot believe that you were in a relationship for 18 months
and all of a sudden woke up and voiced 'she is unstable'
WTF??
Sorry I just don't get what you are trying to say - you bought it - u said u loved her.....
now you're blaming the rest of the 'women' for your "thicker skin" - maybe you are just morphing into a reptile................enjoy
p.s. I need some new shoes so when you shred the skin.............
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| Do women ever play mind games , lie and waste mens time ?
Posted: 10/30/2009 7:41:29 PM | ^^^ Don't you think you may be being just a tad harsh on the poster of message #84. I had a look at his profile and think he's too good looking to just go around being mean to him with no legitimate cause. The attractive are sometimes a little sensitive, you know. Spare a thought, woman!
Also, one of his pics makes me think that he may have Mafia connections... best be nice, I reckon. | |
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| Do women ever play mind games , lie and waste mens time ?
Posted: 10/30/2009 10:08:49 PM | | I suppose the gold digging type would have to bend and twist truth wise till she finds out about likely cash flow but I really couldn't say from experience except it occurs to me that, as you say, beauty can be used to pervert justice? And there are certain tricks , more in the area of 'flirting' that most women use from time to time. But I think the OP has been badly burned and it's easy to jump to lumping all women into the category of mind benders. This happens to women too OP, and the only thing is to hang on to the fact that most women mean well. They are just after a companion and/or lover as a man is. Being lonely is the pits, that's why the Hollywood stars get those poor little dogs ! | |
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| Do women ever play mind games , lie and waste mens time ?
Posted: 10/30/2009 10:15:07 PM | I for one second cannot believe that you were in a relationship for 18 months
and all of a sudden woke up and voiced 'she is unstable'
Post # 85, I'm not sure where exactly good-looking better-be-good-to-me Mafia-type man (Luvulongtime's description) said he was hit by a 'sudden' epiphany. The realisation dawned over time. TTF. Go easy on the guy.
Maybe you are just morphing into a reptile................enjoy
Oh, that's just chucking farming. | |
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| Do women ever play mind games , lie and waste mens time ?
Posted: 10/31/2009 1:54:04 PM | Thank you to Post #86 & #88
I did not just wake up and decide no more.
I Tried to make it work, It was something that was eroding over time.
I was trying to communicate to sort things out unlike some Males.
We went on 2 Holidays within that 18 months which in both I had bad experiences with her when we should have been enjoying ourselves. you could say the real her came out.
I did Love her and wanted things to work out but It was a downhill battle.
In the End It was time to start thinking about my own happiness and health as it was what ended up wearing the Stress.
She made a comment on my Skype 2 weeks ago that she still wanted me back but was upset because I dumped her then brought a car and was looking at going to Canada for Winter Olympics Ski Holiday after we split. It was jealousy or Been selfish, take it which way you like. What has me buying a new car got to do with our past relationship.
I'm trying to be the Happy person I was before I was with her.
Oh And I am not in Mafia. Had been to a funeral that day and I don't own a Violin case. | |
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| Do women ever play mind games , lie and waste mens time ?
Posted: 11/5/2009 8:26:55 AM | I've noticed that about 7 or 8 out of 10 women will always have something like this in their profiles — Game players need not apply , not into mind games , time wasters move on , liars beware etc..... But I mean does this work the other way around too ? How many blokes have had to babysit women who are into mind games, lie , waste time ... ?
All women except LULT (she made me say that) constantly play mind games, lie and waste time but the minds they play games with and the person that they lie to and the person whose time they waste is almost always themselves.
A woman meets a man in the supermarket between the eggs and the microwave meals. She gives him her phone number. He thinks she seems nice and that he might call her, when he has time, if he remembers; if he doesn’t meet someone else, if his wife is away.
Mind game one “hope springs eternal”. After one day, four hours and ten minutes she begins to talk to herself like a loon, why hasn’t he rung, he said he would, I wish I hadn’t talked so much, I wish I had worn something more casual, I wish men wouldn’t SAY they will call, why do they do that, why do I always go for the unreliable ones, why do I ALWAYS do this, I am NEVER going to do this again, if he HASN’T rang by day three than that is IT, I just hate this, I should just get cats and wait to die. 
Mind game two “the man of her imagination”. They have been on a couple of dates, she thinks that he could be HIM , she has seriously considered that he could be the ONE, even though she knows it is FAR too soon to tell. She has told her friends all about HIM and because she doesn’t really know anything about him, she has just added a couple of thing, just to make it more interesting, to make him seem more like a catch. By the time she has told all of her friends about him and anyone else she can get to listen, she actually believes that he has these characteristics which will make it double humiliating if she gets dumped. This can go on for years until she realises that her friends were right, he has no redeeming features what so ever, and dumps him, she begins to talk to herself like a loon again, why couldn’t I see it, it seems so obvious now, everyone else could see he has serious mental and emotional problems, what was I thinking, why didn’t anyone try to tell me, I just don’t know why these thing keep happening to me, I am never going on another date again, I’ll just get cats and wait to die.
Mind game three “this time it will be different”. She really likes him, he could be the ONE and they have after all be on THREE dates, she would just like to know “were she stands”, that is not too much ask is it. He tells her that he is just not ready to start a serious relationship with anyone having recently ended another relationship. She know this is not good, it is a recipe for disaster for host of reasons, she beings to talk to herself like a loon again, maybe it will be alright, after all we just seem to fit, it really does seems DIFFERENT this time, what is wrong with him, surly he can see how perfect we are for each other. She talks to her friends, they tell her what she already knows, exactly what she has told herself, exactly what she would tell them, over and over—and over, some of her friends pass in and out of consciousness through out this ordeal. She decides he has to go, he has to be told that she can’t see him anymore, she can’t go through this again, he understands and goes, after three day she rings him, she really likes him, he could be the ONE, and this time it really does seem DIFFERENT. Though she would like to know “were she stands”, after all they are sleeping together, she asks him AGAIN, he tells her AGAIN, return to the beginning and repeat, or she tells him to go, and starts talking to herself like a loon again, he obviously has emotional problems, why couldn’t he have just be honest with me in the beginning , why do I always do this, why do I always go for the unreliable ones, the ones that don’t know what they want, he seemed so sincere, all men are just basta1rds, I am never doing this again, I am never going on another date again, I just don’t know why these thing keep happening to me, I’ll just get cats and wait to die.
The forth mind game, “I can change him, all other women are idiots”, she really likes him, he could be the ONE, but he has been married twice before, she asks her male friends, they say that abandoned cars almost never turn out to be in perfect running order, she hates automotive metaphors, they are always just so negative, she asks her female friends, they say it depends, it almost always does. She begins to talk to herself like a loon again, well the first one doesn’t count does it, people change, they were so young and she is such a shrew, nobody could be expected to put up with that and now that he is older, he will have learnt to control his temper, and besides it is not like he is in love with just ANYONE this time. She tells this to all her friends, those that can remain conscious just look at the floor; they just don’t get it. The second one was different, have you seen her, that was never going to last, he could obviously do better than her, it must have been one of those rebound things, I don’t know what she can have been thinking, besides, just because he has been married twice doesn’t mean that he is attractive to women but just isn’t good at relationship does it, I suspect she is just a slut1, he said that she was playing around with other men and he is so honest, even if she wasn’t she probable just felt smothered, he is so affectionate and attentive and well I like a little attention, she probable just not strong enough for him anyway, no I am sure she is just a slu1t. After all he say she never understood him like I do and he so respects me, we never even started doing it in the stationary room at work until he was sure that his marriage MIGHT break up; this she never tells her friends, they are so grateful. What a mess, three year hence, she starts to talk to herself like a loon again, what can she be thinking, does she think that the three of us were all idiots, that she can change him, just looks at her, so smug, probably thinks we are all shrews and a slu1ts, all men are just basta1rds, I am never doing this again, I am never going on another date again, I just don’t know why these thing keep happening to me, I’ll just get cats and wait to die.
It is just a simple fact that if evolution had not arranged for love to be deaf, blind and stupid and for woman’s hearts to be able to overrule their heads at least until it is too late then none of us would be here. Life you just have to love the slippery stick bits.
The women depicted in this post are entirely fictional and any resemblance they might bear to anyone I have ever dated is entirely coincidental. | |
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| Do women ever play mind games , lie and waste mens time ?
Posted: 11/5/2009 4:31:30 PM | Lot of good stuff in that scholar.. especially... the 'imagination "parts..
What you described though, in each scenerio.. did'nt sound like love or anything akin to love...
It sounded like ego/vanity..relationships..based on superficial...emotions.. that donot react to truth.. but to thoughts..
Adults.(as opposed to grown ups).. know themselves.. they can predict how they will react/think/feel..in most situations..
Because they know themselves.. the good the bad.. (takes honesty to self)...they know what they want...(usually).. or at the least..what they don't want...
They have the foundation... for choosing a partner.. (mostly)..
Mostly.. they .. then can tell someone..honestly.. where they're at emotionally..or theyre inner being.. and what they want...
In a straight forward honest way...(they are not clouded by emotions... which are not a basis for commitment/decisions.. they are purely pleasaurable reactions..or not so pleasant reactions to stimuli.. whether the stimuli/thoughts/etc are true or not..)
For eg.. a person says..
Mind game three “this time it will be different”. She really likes him, he could be the ONE and they have after all be on THREE dates, she would just like to know “were she stands”, that is not too much ask is it. He tells her that he is just not ready to start a serious relationship with anyone having recently ended another relationship
THe person operating from emotions... hears
the honesty of the person saying.. exactly where he is at..(but ignores the honesty)..
his statement is not based in emotions but truth..(his core being)
if she adjusted her emotions to the truth... apparent.. she would be reacting.. differently..
ie not emotionally investing.. and expecting a different response from him)
Anology...A man owned a house.. (his ex).. he invested time/effort in fixing it up.. cause it had cracks.. needed maintenance etc.. but it felt like home.. (in his core being)...
overtime .. the committment to owning the house.. wore thin...was hard work and rarely fun...but it still feels like home..
so once he leaves that home/house(The ex)... he is relieved he no longer has to mow the lawns.. paint the walls.. do termite spray.. (cause the ex is cracked foundations)..but it still feels like his home..
So off he goes.. he does not want to buy a new house yet..(committ)... but would'nt mind renting a suitable house.. with all the mod cons.. (a new women )
so.. new woman comes along.. she has a sign that says for rent or buy..(herself)..he applies within..(haha pun intended)...
THey talk.. he says..
He tells her that he is just not ready to start a serious relationship with anyone having recently ended another relationship he even explains the state of his old home..not described as a house..(still attached at his core being... even though his emotions have changed.. about it)he still is love/attached..deep down..he hopes this reinforces ..honestly exactly what he wants and why he wants it...hes being totally honest..
Now the women.. hears this.. and allows him to rent her house (herself).. but secretly.. she is thinking.. ohhh he will buy my house.. once he is established/using the mod /cons etc.. he will go from renting to buying..
He likes the new house.. his emotions show joy/fun..
etc.. why not.. he is no longer checking out foundations for cracks(ie not looking for qualities in the women/house.. as you would to purchase it.. hes pushing buttons.. liking the no commitment phase of renting.. ie.. you get a house but no maintance..)..
meanwhile shes checking out.. whether he is able to buy/committ.. to owning her house.. she just has to get him to sell his home(get over his home feeling towards the ex.. then hes got the ability to buy her house).... right?
He goes about his life... adjusting to non maintance of his ex home.. goes to work/mates etc... occassionally gets to the house he's renting..
after a couple weeks.. shes convinced.. he likes her house.. all his emotions point to it... so she then says.. so are you going to buy my house?(committ)
he says.. Im just renting remember?..Ive not even looked at the foundations..(your inner being..)he then starts to notice the cracks.. the work involved if he did committ... by being forced to make a decision.. he is still at the stage of.. I just want to rent)..(maybe if she left whether he wants to rent/own alone for awhile.. he mighta started thinking .. he would like to maybe buy.. all on his own.. but forced committment/choices don't seem to work..)
now if he had gone and rented.. somewhere else.. after he left his home
he might of been ready to finally look around for a new house to buy and make it his home..
or.. if the women.. just let him rent... and he got used to the house.. the new area.. hes moved to etc..
he might have starting thinking to himself this isn't too bad...I could live here.. I could like owning this house..It could become my new home..)
So the women.. wanting to move the house sale along.. might try this mind game(brings in one of the men who adores her house.. he would buy it within an instant
but she isnt interested in selling to him.. but he is useful as a decoy in house sales)..
So she brings in devoted guy.. the renter sees him wandering around the yard etc.. asks who he is..
She says.. "ohh he is interested in buying the house'
now he will either get territorial.. because he has become attached to the house he rents. cause he was going to think about it possibly in the future...
or he will say.." well.. Im not ready to buy(any house.. at this time.. its not your house its anybodys house..commitment) as I said when I started renting
so.. don't let me stop you from selling to him..
sure.. he has to move... onto another house.
but if he isnt ready to committ thats his choice isn't it?.. if forced to decide.. buy or go rent elsewhere..
Essentially.. alot of houses are nice/beautiful..comfy.. but there are alot of nice houses out there.. and adults.. don't emotionally buy houses.. they decide.. on actual structure.. how much maintance.. etc.. why buy.. and have the hassles.. if someone is willing to rent to you?
only.. really if you.. can't find anyone to rent to you..or not many houses available.. do you have to compromise.. on the house..or buying it..those guys are happy to just get near a house)
One person knows themselves.. where they're at.. and what they want..and can say it..(not based on feel good emotions)
The other believes they're house is worthy of purchase.. regardless of the renters intentions..
they operate from emotions.. feel good feelings..
renters/buyers.. etc .. 6 months .. to see how you adjust to a new house...
if you make someone committ before then (who didnt want to buy).. they will most probably stop renting.. move on..
if someone has in their head... sold their house in their imagination.. is already spending the money in their head.. etc.. before 6 months.... then most probably predictablly..
they're emotions will change(they ignored his truth and supposedly fell in love emotionally) From not at first reacting to truth..(what he said)
(no relationship wanted)..
to being forced to see the truth.. (the house sale fell through).. all that debt/emotionally you got into.. spending the non existant money in ya head..) will usually end up.. with emotions forced to see the truth..(no relationship wanted)..no sale..
the emotional person probably can't go 6 months without asking.. well are..you buying?.. giving the renter time.. to just relax/adjust..timing is everything hey?..
3 dates you say scholar?.. emotionally.. that would be like a sugar rush.. ie eating sweets..
but... sugar rushes (emotions.. go high...then have to fall as low as they went high).. ie the higher you fly..the coming down.. is the same distance..except.. one feels good going up.. the other.. you hit the ground.. unless you know how to land..)
love dosent come from emotions.. or vanity or ego..
it comes from the core.. of a person...
everything else is just icing...to be enjoyed..
peace | |
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| Do women ever play mind games , lie and waste mens time ?
Posted: 11/5/2009 5:08:38 PM | ^^^I had no idea that it was about real estate.
I thought it was about why I can often end up with a thousand dollar phone bill and why cats are to be preferred to dating.
Rent or buy, some people have all the luck, I just get to look longingly from the foot path and help clean up the mess that an unlikely tenant has left behind after having been shown the door, or absconded in the night.
Situation vacant, some rising damp; now that is a sign I am looking for. | |
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| Do women ever play mind games , lie and waste mens time ?
Posted: 11/5/2009 5:18:14 PM | Nope I'm very clear with people. It's the guys that seem to play games with me. I say I'm not interested and they keep on contacting you. It's a big waste of time.
I've stated on my profile I'm not meeting anyone right now - taking time out. I have some personal things to take care of and I don't think I'm really ready right now. Obviously many people can't read................ | |
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| Do women ever play mind games , lie and waste mens time ?
Posted: 11/6/2009 1:58:37 AM | | Yes and No. It's cause and effect for me. No-if they are a nice guy. Yes if they play with my affections and mind. I'll do it to teach them a lesson and I'll play to win lol!.You get as good as you give with me. And I think all is fair in love and war!This is by no means something that only women do. | |
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| Do women ever play mind games , lie and waste mens time ?
Posted: 11/7/2009 9:36:59 PM | It's not just on men that women play mind games... women play mind games on each other and they are of the seemingly sweet but deadly sort. women know to watch out for other women, we know we are the more dangerous sex. We are sooo much better at slipping in the dagger with a smile. Why? It's a mystery to me because since we are up against the same odds , one would imagine we would try to get along!
As a person, a woman I worked backstage with once said , "It's all about power you know"... she was talking about stage managing and she was right. Next night, standing with the walkie talkie, talking to the backstage honchos, I looked around to see if every one was ready to go on and for the first time noticed 'them' looking at me with stark nervous fear... it wasn't me who had to make the words come alive but they were in awe of someone who to them was a powerful person. Since then, I've always noted the characteristics of the 'diva' of the backstage area well . | |
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