| How important is sex in a new relationship?
Posted: 3/31/2008 8:56:24 PM | Are you comfortable showing your junk to a complete stranger ?
It seems to me, I would want to know a few things first. I am sensitive to getting laughed at.
People pointing and saying >>>>>>>>>>>>> you can use that little thing ????
I need more.
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| How important is sex in a new relationship?
Posted: 4/1/2008 8:23:25 AM | I totally agree with you OP. In my opinion, sex shouldn't even be involved in a "NEW" relationship. That is the main reason why most relationships don't last...putting the cart before the horse.
Once you've crossed that line, no matter how well or how little you know that person, the relationship changes. N0w the rest is getting to know the person within and that's where the problems lie. You many be compatible sexually, but there are other qualities in which you may or may not like about the other person.
Sex comes when we both feel it strongly and cannot wait anymore.
If you give yourselves a chance to get to know each other first, doing all the things you've mentioned and feeling have grown to the point where both you and your partner are comfortable...then there is no reason not to.
For some reason, people have jumped in with both feet, having lost self respect with regrets afterwards. | |
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| How important is sex in a new relationship?
Posted: 4/1/2008 8:54:06 AM | | If you are not bonding in conversation and closeness of mental passion....Then Bonding of physical closeness is not a option or a good exsperience eithier....Theres nothing wrong with open and honest conversation as long as its just conversation and not digging for tool to use for sex. So you do ok......I do same as you with women....If they bring up sex on first date or when ever I will respond to it as long as its a open honest adult conversation and not the big outta the blue slam at ya trick...Thats the dead give away ok thats what they wanting to know and thats it.....So you do right girl like you did...if its direct dig to see about sex then they just leading you there with nice conversation before the big bomb drop....so runnn.....But look for men that talk openly and share thoughts and dreams along with wanting to know more about you....its a wanting to learn about you thing for a good man..its a getting you to the prize for bad men........You did fine! | |
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| How important is sex in a new relationship?
Posted: 4/1/2008 9:11:04 AM | | I agree with baby doll.....To many people try so hard to make sex happen as primary goal.....Is not sex actually a nature action not a man made word......Its where that feeling you get when you spend pleasuable time with someone and laugh and smile. You feel they are someone you trust and consider a bestfriend and talk about everything together and like them as a person. Then nature kicks in and sex is just naturally floated into because of the connection....Nature is the best at telling when sex is right......Not looks, when its suppose to happen, money or a short skirt or hunk in speedo. We as people have violated the age old rule....DON't Mess with mother nature....she knows what she is doing! and we cannot change it or force it. So don't mess with it just go with it be yourselves and enjoy good companionship and the drama free fun it is.....let mother nature handle the timing on the sex and when it happens....Shes been handling it pretty smartly for centuries lot longer then us....let her make the determination of when its right not the man or woman decision. | |
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| How important is sex in a new relationship?
Posted: 4/1/2008 10:51:18 AM | 
Prior meeting anyone : Via phone conversation or email try to determine what type of man he is.
Also, via phone conversation or email casually bring up the subject indicating :
You are not looking for casual sexual encounters and definitely will not date any man desiring sex on the 1st or 2nd date .. Tell him your expectations and desires ... You should be able to quickly weed out undesireable men ...
Also, add a little something in your profile such as :
not looking for casual sexual 1st or 2nd date encounters only gentlemen that know how to treat a lady
I am sure you get the idea
Truly wishing you the best
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| How important is sex in a new relationship?
Posted: 4/1/2008 12:36:10 PM | Sex is like a cheeseburger - those with the works are the best!
The best relationships are those that unfold naturally. However, as I've gotten older, I give sex very little thought. I didn't give it a lot of thought when I was younger too. I figure any woman I have to earn points with to get into bed with isn't worth having to begin with.
I don't consider any topic of conversation off limits for either party. With too many rules and various traps (conversational), it isn't a fresh or new relationship but some kind of hurtful game.
Frankly, I see women much too concerned about sex and men often playing a little game of their own on the side trying to figure out ways to overcome any obstacles she might have to it. What a big waste of time.
Let's look at it this way. If two people can't go out and have some fun together, and that can include some hot sex thrown in, then why in the hell be bothered with each other to begin with? Also don't think you can ever time anything to determine the ideal point to do anything (like sex).
I've gotta go get myself a Wendy's Baconator!
The Eagle | |
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| How important is sex in a new relationship?
Posted: 4/1/2008 12:59:36 PM | | How about your faith? Should that be an equation factor? I know I struggle with that, and have ended relationships because they wanted sex without marriage. The Bible from our Holy God says sex without marriage is a sin, He calls it adultry. What are peoples opinion on that when God's opinion apposes sex outside of the safe umberella of marriage? | |
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| How important is sex in a new relationship?
Posted: 4/1/2008 1:32:52 PM | Ir ally enjoy sex nothing wrong with it. And usually have sex on the first or second date. i can and have waited though. When I was with Kelly my girlfriend of 3 years we did not ahve sex until being together for about 3 months but we were making out on the first date and having oral since the 3rd date. I usually prefer to make out and get a handjob/blowjob ont he first date and have sex ont he 2nd or third date so we get to know eachother yet still keep seachother stimulated and excited about eachother. Ithink sex is important to a realtionship. My parents have been married for 28 years becuase they have sex quite a bit evenn to this day. They argue allt he time and get everything out, good communication, and have sex and pleasure eachother. So its really about good communicationa nd enjoying being together and enjoying eachother on a physical as well as emotional level. I find sex to be an expression of my affection and I prefer to be monogamous with 1 partner until the relationship ends.
Anyone who jsut uses someone for sex is either immature and want soemthing to brag about or experimenting to see if they enjoy it. And it fills women with fear that they will be used and that guys are all pigs which is not true.
Personally I don;t want a one night stand I want to do it almsot every ngiht 2-6 times a night sdepending on our mood. And I want it to be with one special someone. A girlfriend. And right now I am finding women who either don't know what they want or reject for being short. Its really tough out there when everyone is an idealist, shallow, or don't know what they want. Women if you want a nice guy go out with me. If you want an A-hole pretty boy who will treat you like dirt go to any bar. | |
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| How important is sex in a new relationship?
Posted: 4/1/2008 1:42:43 PM |
Also, add a little something in your profile such as : not looking for casual sexual 1st or 2nd date encounters only gentlemen that know how to treat a lady
Oh gee, what a novel..... And like that works!!!! lol
Even "nice" people in search of something meaningful will sometimes rush things.
But those same nice people know that it takes more than sex to make a "real" connection. | |
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| How important is sex in a new relationship?
Posted: 4/1/2008 2:36:50 PM | Thank you. I awlays thought it was me being silly because i want to wait awhile before i get close to someone. Now after reading this, i realise i am like a lot of others.  | |
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| How important is sex in a new relationship?
Posted: 4/1/2008 6:52:36 PM | | And that is true. When sex becomes the main focus of your new relationship, you dont have any time to spend trying to know the other person. Someone has said that when they are both sure they are sexually compatible, then they can settle down the rest. How can you even become intimate with someone you dont even know the favorite food or best friend`s name? When i make love, I give myself entirly with not only my body but also my soul; I dont "service", I LOVE. | |
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| How important is sex in a new relationship?
Posted: 4/1/2008 7:05:02 PM |
Also, add a little something in your profile such as :
not looking for casual sexual 1st or 2nd date encounters only gentlemen that know how to treat a lady
That can also turn away very 'right' people because when someone says things like that, it can easily send a signal that they're going to be skeptical of your intentions and you'll have to do some form of 'proving' to show you're not after that. | |
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| How important is sex in a new relationship?
Posted: 4/1/2008 9:27:19 PM | Chastity is a lost art -- possibly a lost art forever.
Regard, respect, and reverence for the sanctity of a man and woman relationship were once treasured and valued as part of society. A violation of any of those three tenets seemed to doom the prospects of any aspirations for a trusting, loving relationship. Those were the days when marriages were forever. Marriages were once forever; they no longer are.
Perhaps those three tenants were totally capable of being controlled by each member of that man/woman relationship, where the capability of each person was "on the line," where the future of the relationship was mutually dependent upon the actions of the couple -- not the actions of one person -- rather both, as one, were involved.
I don't think we can go back, though I wish it were different. Chastity is a lost art forever.
Someone tell me that I am wrong. . . please? | |
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| How important is sex in a new relationship?
Posted: 4/2/2008 3:57:57 AM | @grkboy
One thing many guys dislike is when they take a girl out 3-4 times, and then she suddenly isn't interested and breaks contact without a word. We feel like then we wasted our time, money, and energy.
This is called dating! Time, money and energy is spent to see if both of you are compatible with each other or not. Now I don't think that ANYONE should just drop the other without a word. I feel the person losing interest should be honest and up front why he or she isn't interested to further the relationship.
Some guys believe that when you "seal the deal" as soon as possible, she'll get emotionally attached and thus won't easily drop the guy..
That definitely doesn't work. Eventually, the outcome will be the same. One will leave and end things. It may take a little more time, but it won't last in the end. What is wrong with time and patience in getting to know each other without the pressures of intimacy.
Now I am not saying that if both parties get to a certain point and both are not turned off by character flaws , then that's fine. But I have seen way too many times, intimacy has taken place and things are great...for a while. Then the problems start and sometimes over the smallest things. This is because both parties involved didn't give each other a chance in getting to know the other before intimacy had taken place.
Thudsaid it best..."Chastity is a lost art -- possibly a lost art forever.
"Regard, respect, and reverence for the sanctity of a man and woman relationship were once treasured and valued as part of society." | |
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| How important is sex in a new relationship?
Posted: 4/3/2008 3:32:06 PM | I usually prefer to make out and get a handjob/blowjob ont he first date and have sex ont he 2nd or third date so we get to know eachother yet still keep seachother stimulated and excited about eachother. Ithink sex is important to a realtionship.
Oh MY God!!! Are you serious? Nothing more stimulating than jacking a guy off or giving a B.J. on the first date. You go home relieved and she goes home as your sperm depository or with a sticky hand. I can tell you're young....... There is more to life and relationships than the "gettin naked" part . Yes, sex is a totally natural great time with the right person but ICK!! you just ruined it with your above statement. | |
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| How important is sex in a new relationship?
Posted: 4/3/2008 7:00:29 PM |
sex is an important part of a loving, long-term relationship. It is not a necessity when you are casually dating
This is very true! From what you wrote in your post you seem sensible, Pia! So go at your own pace. Ultimately a guy will respect you more if you don't abandon your values!!
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| How important is sex in a new relationship?
Posted: 4/3/2008 11:52:39 PM | To address the original Question. Typically I attempt to take it slow with the dating and sex thing. It does not always occur that your time table is necessarily wrong or right about the time frame when two people will become intimate.
I know for a fact that I am a very sexual person. And it makes me nervous to realize that sex will eventually be a topic I shall have to stress over with my dating partner. Me, I think we should take it slow. Usually alot slower than the woman... believe this or not!
Me, if you can keep it in your pants/panties and enjoy all the other activities two healthy adults can do, ALL is well!
"CowboyEnuff"
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