| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:29:50 PM | Scorpios? No, I've had the worst luck with those actually.
And I already got a whole new wardrobe (dropped from a 14 to a 6 over about 18 months, so have pretty much all new clothes) and did the haircut thing. Good ideas though but looking for feedback from someone with a little more real-life and dating experience. That said, a new top can often spice the confidence up a bit. | |
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| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 11/8/2009 6:55:57 PM | | Well, i'm going to be 47 in two weeks, and it was hard enough to get a date in my teens and twenties, let alone now, now that i'm no longer married! Once you get to a certain age, society expects you to be in a certain position in life. Well, what if you aren't? What it you march to the beat of your own music? What if you get divorced widowed or widowered, and are not the most socially gifted person? It means you're screwed! | |
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| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 11/8/2009 8:20:33 PM | At 44 and back on the dating scene this year after a 4 yr relationship, here are my observations:
Many women in this age range that are divorced are usually about finished up raising their kids, most likely left their exes (studies show that 70% of divorces are initiated by women), and are looking to be free, travel, be extremely independent, and maybe, if the the perfect right guy comes along, they will consider a LTR. Now obviously I am generalizing, but it seems that for the type of women I am attracted to physically, this is what I am seeing, and I have many examples to draw from. I am looking for a LTR/marriage for the sake of sharing all of life with, the good, the bad, everything. I feel like even though I have excellent qualities as a man and a human, if I can't go in and sweep them off their feet as an international man of intrigue because I really just enjoy sharing the simple things in life, then they are not going to be interested. Being never married, I've already enjoyed my freedom through my 20s and 30s (though I always wanted marriage, still do), but am finding now that the women that are becoming available in fact DON'T want marriage, as that has been a bad situation and experience for them in most cases.
Since I am generalizing, let the lampooning begin :) | |
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| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 11/9/2009 3:58:21 AM | | Look for a woman who has not been married, many of us want to get married and do not have kids to raise or a bad situation and experience from our past. | |
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| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 11/9/2009 7:22:49 PM | I'm just new to it so don't know very much. My first jaunt out and about I met a very attractive man several years younger than me and he acted attracted but I was just not willing to see myself with anyone that attractive and turned him down until after a few weeks he moved on.
After being married many, many years to a man who was 10 years older than I, and having only dated men who were older than I was ever since i began dating, I just naturally assumed I'd date older men still. But now my mind is finding that it isn't attracted to men that are older than I. I am very youthful at heart and I don't see many men in their 50's (I'm 44) that aren't very old and staid in their day to day routine AND thinking. That just isn't that attractive to me. So I think I am going to have to accept that MAYBE it's okay to date guys in their mid 30's or so because it's not like robbing the cradle now, is it?
As far as finding dates, I don't think that is the hard part. I think at this age (or at least for me with the men I've met thus far) the problem is that sex is supposed to be so open in this area that if you do not want to jump in the sack right away you are told you are 'afraid of sex' or 'old fashioned'. I'm neither, I just don't want to pass it around like an hor' deurve tray until I feel like a dirty mess that's left at the end of a party! And it's hard for me too---yes, I want to have a physical relationship too, badly. However, I want to like them out of bed before finding out if I like them in bed. And I'd actually like to THINK they feel the same :)
Just kinda venting but it just seems so weird out here in Florida to me and I wonder if I'm the only adult out here that isn't ready to just hop right into it with anyone and everyone? | |
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| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 11/10/2009 11:29:26 PM | I disagree with
most of the women here. I have no problems finding dates, most were pleasant but no sparks yet.. However I am absolutely fine with that, you no the story when you not looking is when you find it; so maybe your trying to hard and agreeing to date "anyone" even thou you have nothing in common or to talk about. Don't act like you "need" a date or a man in your life, you have to like yourself to have someone else like you. I came out of a very long abusive marriage, I have actually worked on "me" for 3 yrs now. I would of only drawn what I was, no self confidence, depressed, and broke,lol.
Have fun with it, and don't come off as looking for marriage NOW...Do you try to keep yourself up to what you consider you are ok with, because if you are great. But if you wish you looked like this or this, so you don't put any effort into it you wont feel attractive. I truly believe making yourself up every morning however it is u want too adds self conf. an a aura around you.
Never give up,,,but like I had mentioned; you have to love yourself first, then everything falls into place.
Good Luck and make it Fun; life is too short to sound as unhappy as some do. :) | |
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| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 11/11/2009 9:00:35 AM |
Don't act like you "need" a date or a man in your life
I find this A LOT! This is the kind of thing I was trying to say turns men off! And, maybe these women did come out of bad relationships or marriages. But, maybe it means they aren't really ready to date. | |
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| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 11/11/2009 11:57:22 AM | Lovingmynulife,
You had some good points there, but all that love yourself befor someone else loves you is alot harder to do for guys. You sound like you have a very positive outlook on life and dating, thats great. But it just seems to me that as a woman its easy for you to say things like, love yourself before anyone else loves you. Woman have it so easy when it comes to dating, all you do is show up and you get dates, you don't have to deal with half the rejection that any guy does. You never have to put yourself out there unless you want to becasue guys will come to you.
Dating is just so damn unfair, guys have to take all the risk of rejection and gain very little for it. Its very hard to love yourself when you are always getting rejected by women. | |
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| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 11/11/2009 12:25:14 PM |
Dating is just so damn unfair, guys have to take all the risk of rejection and gain very little for it. Its very hard to love yourself when you are always getting rejected by women.
Amen! It takes a toll on your self confidence, then they reject you because you have low self-confidence. | |
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| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 11/11/2009 12:44:18 PM | | Yeah, but that's not an over-40 problem. Frankly, most of us have done it enough times now that it's no big deal. Personally, I think women have it tougher when it comes to over-40 dating. | |
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| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 11/11/2009 1:56:44 PM | | Dates are sooooo easy to find. It's the people who you can trust and have a decent relationship that are hard to find. It does become easier to keep it moving and not get caught up in stupid shit as you get older. | |
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| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 11/11/2009 1:56:51 PM | I said it before, now i'll say it again: Getting dates isn't hard. Getting dates with someone you really want to date, now that's the hard part. like the song goes
You don't always get what you want, but sometimes you get what you need. | |
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| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 11/11/2009 4:27:30 PM | Tony, it is an over 40 problem. It's an every-age problem.
And, for some people, it is hard to get dates. That's why a lot of people are here. | |
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| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 11/12/2009 10:21:01 AM | Totally agree Funtunes, I am so sick of people saying its easy to get dates. Maybe its easy for some to get dates but its also damn hard for others to get a date let alone dates.
I would love to know what makes some people think its so easy for all to get dates, I would also love to know why some think its harder for women in the dating world even after 40.
Its never that hard for women, there is always a way more despreate man willing to date them. | |
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| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 11/12/2009 10:26:13 AM |
I would love to know what makes some people think its so easy for all to get dates It was. You put up a profile, you get emails, you email them you talk to them on the phone and some you make dates with and some you don't. Some you go out with again, some you don't. And one you fall in love with, oh wait, that was me | |
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| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 11/12/2009 11:07:22 AM | | That just proves my point more........For women dating is a cake walk. On average women have a much easier time getting dates becasue the current dating system is unfair and broken, we need some rules changes. | |
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| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 11/12/2009 4:52:22 PM | JM24Fan,
Damn right we need some rule changes! It sounds crude, but all a woman has to do is sit there, and sooner or later, some guy (or gal) will eventually hit on her. He may not be what she wants, but at least the opportunity is there. An alpha-male, buff-looking man could be in a building of women and not a single one will talk or even look at him. | |
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| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 11/12/2009 7:13:51 PM | Thank God,
Finally someone that thinks like I do, but two man a revolution does not make funtunes. Guess we need to brainwash, I mean convice some others.
Funny thing is, its next to impossible to get a woman to admit that they have it so much easier when it comes to dating. | |
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| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 11/12/2009 7:48:19 PM |
However I am absolutely fine with that, you no the story when you not looking is when you find it; so maybe your trying to hard and agreeing to date "anyone" even thou you have nothing in common or to talk about. Don't act like you "need" a date or a man in your life, you have to like yourself to have someone else like you. Let see if that old saying really works. :) | |
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| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 11/12/2009 9:46:48 PM | jm24fan,
They just don't know! Any nice guy would be thrilled to get hit on! Why do women think otherwise? Oh, they read those stupid books by nut-jobs who go on Oprah. That wacko who write that rules book, that woman, is a conservative who wants to turn the clock back to the 1800s. "He's Not That Into You"??? He sounds like he's setting women up for more jerks! | |
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| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 11/13/2009 6:14:22 PM | well guy's you can add a third to this little revolution.
I concur, it's even stated here on POF, women get hundreds of emails to our very few.... and I'm in my mid-fifites, and athletic/active. There are many of women hitting my profile, but nary an email, let alone an email from a gal I find attractive or who has just a couple of similar interests. The emails I send, I get chucked off instantly.
I believe you guys are right, women still want the ol' double standard for a first looksee anyway and the playing field is as POF stated. "Endeavour to persevere" I quote as Chief Dan George once said. Life ain't over till it's over | |
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| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 11/13/2009 9:49:46 PM | I just turned 40 a few weeks ago, and personally I'm getting discouraged with on-line dating. I've exchanged numerous e-mails with many contacts, but most of them seem reluctant to actually meet, which makes absolutely no sense to me.
You talk to someone, you like that person, you don't object to their picture, the next logical step is to want to meet them...right?? I've had a few tell me they're very comfortable with me, and that I'm different from most guys...yada yada....but try to get a face to face date...and they pull back. So yes, for some it is hard to find a date! | |
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| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 11/14/2009 12:43:53 AM | | Who are these women who get hundreds of emails from men? I might get a couple of email every few months, and most of them obviously do not read or comprehend profiles as they are married and/or smokers who are seeking tall, thin divorced women. Finding a person of quality seems to be difficult. | |
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