| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 4/1/2008 12:57:28 PM | I find it easier to relate to women now than I did when I was in my 'twenties. I have acquired confidence and I like myself way better. When you are sure of yourself I think others find you more attractive to be around.
Quoting IrishEyez who is quoting some negative insecure woman:
'It s so diffciult at my age men at my age want women in their 20s "I cant beliveve. And me just a dec ent good guy closer to my age. Right now it would take one big miracle in my life. Oh well... At least I have my health.'
... to which IrishEyez comments:
The way I see it, you're negative and are setting yourself up for any failure that may come your way.
Adjust your mind set - it can do wonders!
Also remember; like attracts like. Whilst you're being negative, you may just attract a negative man or any man who reads into your negativity.
.......................................................................................................
... and she is so right. A woman who seems bitter and defeated will only attract the most desperate dudes.
I hope that bitter lady doesn't think she is some kind of a prize that men are going to compete over. Maybe she was that in high school but hey, that's history. All too many women seem to think they can live by the rules of their teenage years in the 21st century then they wonder why it doesn't work. They may imagine that their problem is their age but the reality is that the rules have changed and they haven't.
Here' are some questions for the bitter lady and in fact for ALL women over 40:
When was the last time YOU telephoned a man and invited HIM to go out for a meal on YOUR dime?
What's the barrier in your mind that gets in the way of your being men's equal and expecting a man to treat you as his equal?
Who is now responsible for maintaining that barrier?
Are you afraid of rejection? Men have to learn to deal with it - why not you?
When you are secure in yourself you won't be upset when you don't get what you want. If you are NOT secure, why should a secure man want to waste his time on you?
Would you even want a man so insecure that he can only relate to needy insecure females who let him imagine he's strong when he's not? | |
|
bsg789
|
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 27 | |
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 4/1/2008 1:13:29 PM | | I don't think that it is harder to find a date around 40 or older. The only possible dealbreaker is the fact that I have kids. However a fair amount of men are willing to overlook that fact because they like my overall package ( looks, career, personality, interests etc ). | |
|
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 4/1/2008 1:22:55 PM | I didn't date much when I was young; I met my ex when I was 17, married at 20, and stayed married for 25 years. When I left my marriage, I was in a longterm relationship. I didn't really begin to date until I was 52 or 53. I did not have ANY problem finding dates, and the age range of the men I have dated are from mid 20s to 63.
Now that I am 55, I still don't have a problem finding dates, but as some posters said, it is more finding someone with whom I want a second date. The vast majority of men whom I have seen are nice men, courteous and kind, but we just have nothing in common.
I don't know why some "older" people have no problem finding dates and some do. I often wonder if it is attitude. | |
|
| |
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 4/2/2008 11:05:52 AM | > men at my age want women in their 20s
You were once in your 20s, and therefore presumably benefited from this being the case. (I mean, why else would you believe it?)
So, what happened? Or did the OP just come on looking for pity and to whine?
| |
|
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 4/2/2008 3:03:23 PM | i think it always takes a "miracle" to find the person we really want to be with, no matter what age 
i'm the same age as you op and for us and for any age i'd suggest doing things in and with your life that you love to do, enjoy the *you* you are, fill any extra time with things that give you pleasure - whether it's volunteering, painting, taking up new hobbies; meeting new people with the same interests, whatever... i think the more happy and content we are within ourselves, the easier it will be for that "miracle" to occur 
all the best and have fun! | |
|
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 4/2/2008 7:57:02 PM | | Finding a date isn't hard, but finding a man that I want to date is very hard. Yes some men over 40 want to date women in their 20's and some women in their 40's want to date men in the 20's. So what? Me I hate dating period, but it seems to be the painful step you must go through if you want more. | |
|
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 4/2/2008 9:11:08 PM | I hope that bitter lady doesn't think she is some kind of a prize that men are going to compete over
Its not bitter to call it a day on a bad deal - and really if the only thing on offer are lies and std's, well why would you want to buy in on that? The prize is your health and hanging onto it, really a relationship with a man is only an offer of disease and abuse - and nothing else, so why would anyone want to go looking for that? Why would you even want to talk to one, let alone invite one out to dinner? Probably catch worms or mono, eek. Besides if you invited him out to dinner and he can barely read, how is he going to manage to eat without a TV in front of him. Should I be expecting conversation? What if his teeth fall out? LOL!
Golly, no there's no men competing they're all going out with each other - this is Australia mate! Brrrp aggggh! Squashes beer belly below the table....I'ze feelin ill jus tinkin bout it......I not ungry no more...... | |
|
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 4/2/2008 9:39:57 PM |
Really after 40 the men are pretty much all diseased, broke, only semi-literate and looking for a housekeeper/nurse. They aren't exactly the stuff of dreams, nor are they going to be much fun to be around. The good ones - aren't looking for the same age group, and their going to be start snuffing it on us in short order anyway. Its not like you can take these decrepit ones on an adventure holiday - they'll probably have heart failure on us. The "40" year olds are most like 10 years older lying through their false teeth as usual. I very much doubt we can expect to meet our equals in intelligence/health or career achievements
WOW!! I'm 44, and just met a guy here on POF who is 49. He's got all his teeth, owns a gorgeous house in an upscale neighborhood, housebroke, fun to be out with, and very active!! Decrepit? I hardly think so! He's also quite intelligent, in great health, and has a great career, a wonderful attitude, and WOW! Looks like I've got a rare one - sux for you though!  
No longer 
Babs | |
|
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 4/2/2008 10:50:51 PM | Jennie,
Age is just a number and if you are not happy, you can do something about. Who says you have to stick to the 40 somethings. Men are going through the same thing we are. They get older ever day just like we do. I date men from 25 to 50 and have found several great guys who are still really good friends in all age brackets. Somebody mentioned going to the gym. That's what i did when my ex and I split after 10 years. You can change your outlook. Just get out there, stay busy, do those things that have meaning to you. I learned to scuba. Go out with the girls, dance like no ones watching. Live it up!! Happiness and vitality no matter what age you are is very attractive !! Good luck girl!! | |
|
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 4/2/2008 11:10:32 PM | The way this thread is going......there will be no one worthy to date in our 40's, even harder in our 50's, impossible in our 60's, and once to 70........we will not even remember why we wanted to date in the first place, not remember if we ever dated, and will not care........
OT.......If you want others to enjoy you, you need to enjoy yourself first......then enjoy those around you and be willing to find out what is out there and why.......
Finding a date is easy......finding the right one much harder.......
Just my opinion.......  | |
|
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 4/2/2008 11:39:33 PM | OP: Dating is easy. There is someone out there for you. He may be younger, he may be older, but he's out there. Don't give up yet - you're too young!
The way this thread is going......there will be no one worthy to date in our 40's, even harder in our 50's, impossible in our 60's, and once to 70........we will not even remember why we wanted to date in the first place, not remember if we ever dated, and will not care........
My grandmothers, both in their late 80's were discussing the facts of life one afternoon. They both outlived their husbands by 10 years. One said she missed it, even though she had never really liked it. The other one said she'd like it if she could remember what "it" was!
By the time we get that old, we'll all be on some form of Viagra wondering what we're supposed to be doing! | |
|
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 4/3/2008 8:06:39 AM | It s so diffciult at my age men at my age want women in their 20s "I cant beliveve. And me just a dec ent good guy closer to my age.
Why limit yourself to just men around your age? I'm not suggesting that a 43 yr old woman ( like the OP ) should date a 20 yr old man or a 65 yr old man. However it is NOT unreasonable for the OP to date a man in his 50s, 30s, or maybe even late 20s. | |
|
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 4/3/2008 12:40:17 PM | Lets cut thru the BS.... Generally speaking and NOT directed at anyone .
A person is going to have a harder time finding a date if you look like you have been ridden hard and put up wet which become even more evident as we age.
Some people just aren't aging gracefully.
A person that is at least proportioned weight/height will have an easier time attracting people
A person has a " warm personality" will have a better change of attracting others.
We can tip toe around the fact that we have become a very prejudice society which is hung up on looks, fact remain that the "Pretty People" will never have a problem dating and those that aren't perfect will complain how they are judged.
I don't think we as a society will ever be truly happy until we can get past the looks of a perspective mate.
BTW, I've always dated older women... Girls in their 20's are very cute, but there is nothing more attractive than a real woman that knows what she wants and isn't afraid to go after it. | |
|
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 4/3/2008 1:03:55 PM | Starline says:
"Girls in their 20's are very cute, but there is nothing more attractive than a real woman that knows what she wants and isn't afraid to go after it. "
............................................
Exactly. I would never waste time on a woman who thinks she is bait. I don't want to win a prize, I want to relate to real live human beings who know what they are and what they want.
. | |
|
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 4/3/2008 6:09:08 PM | | I don't necessarily want women in their 20's, I prefer my age. I had my child and do not want anymore as for preference. That does not mean that could not change. Most young women want children/family and that is fine. I prefer someone that has already been there. | |
|
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 4/3/2008 6:30:08 PM | I don't necessarily find dating more difficult in my 40s. I simply find myself being more selective than I was in my 20s and 30s. I am more aware of me and what I want at this age. Perhaps that simply translates into it being more difficult to find suitable dates, but I'm okay with that if it means I'm not compromising just so that I can say I didn't stay home last Saturday night. ;-) I'm not going to settle and if that means I'm single forever, well that would be sad, but that would probably be okay too even though it's not really what I desire.
Good luck in your search. I think dating in our 40s is what we make of it. I go through periods of time where I have no desire to date then suddenly put myself out there for a while. I haven't lost my faith in dating/love, though...and hopefully the OP hasn't either. | |
|
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 4/3/2008 6:57:51 PM |
"Girls in their 20's are very cute, but there is nothing more attractive than a real woman that knows what she wants and isn't afraid to go after it. "
Aint that the truth....!! | |
|
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 4/3/2008 7:27:31 PM | | geeeze after a dissertation like this, no wonder guys over 40 look for younger gals. At least the younger ones haven't rolled over and died. | |
|
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 4/3/2008 9:26:50 PM | Irish Eyez,
You are a very friendly, intelligent Irish Lass. But then again I don't think I've ever met an Irish person I didn't like. Cheers!
Pizza | |
|
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 4/3/2008 9:55:11 PM | You know when it is really going to be interesting..?
Its when you cannot find someone that doesn't have a list of ailments like a shopping list 
I have a friend that is around 60 +/- and is as healthy as a horse in every aspect... He has more women chasing after him than I've ever seen in my life. When I asked him how he does it, he simply told me that the number of men that are healthy without a half dozen ailments or can perform are hard to find. Not only that, but he finds that older women find themselves in a not so financial good situation living alone.
Lets face facts, we are aging and our health won't hold out forever.
Just something to think about. | |
|
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 4/3/2008 10:17:52 PM | I'm 43, and have had more dates in the last few years than when I was younger (or so it seems).
The tough part for me is that once some (not all) women learn I have a disability, they're gone like the wind. Now, ladies, before you start accusing me of anything like making unfair generalizations, please note I said *some* and not all.
Does it bother me? Sometimes, but I know that in order to find the one who is right for me, I just have to keep fishing. And that's what I do. I go out, do what I like, and enjoy myself. If I happen to meet someone in the process, great.
So, to get back to the OP's point, I don't think being in the Over 40 and single club is a disadvantage. I consider it a worthy challenge. | |
|
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 4/3/2008 10:20:53 PM | I dont think it's your age, it might be your location.
I have been pretty content with my experiences from POF. I totally credit that to the city I live near. I am 44. | |
|
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 4/4/2008 2:35:32 PM |
It s so diffciult at my age men at my age want women in their 20s "I cant beliveve. And me just a dec ent good guy closer to my age.
I highly doubt that. I'm just getting back into dating after 10 years and the last thing I want to go out with is someone 20 years younger than me (no offense ladies). There is something to be said about levels of maturity between people who are in the same age groups. Ya know? A 20 Y/O would have completly different expectations than a woman my age (god that makes me feel old!)... | |
|
42 4 U
|
Joined: 2/18/2008
Msg: 50 | |
| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 4/4/2008 9:54:19 PM | Age is just a number,you're only as old as you feel.Not all men in their 40's are over the hill,or looking for girls half their age either.That is another urban myth,like all women are gold diggers,or all the hot people are players.Take a look at my profile.I don't look or act my age,I get told I look 32.The hardest part for me,is finding a woman my age thats in shape,and has a good attitude towards having a man in her life.I agree that there are lots of undesirables out there,but that is true in all age groups.You don't need to resolve yourself to living with other women or getting a dog.My aunt will be turning 60 in a week,she still looks young,and has a very active and full life.Sorry guys,she's happily married I think the trick is to be happy with yourself and you're life while you're single.That way,when you do meet someone,you will make a good first impression. | |
|
Home
login 
