| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 4/27/2008 8:52:42 AM | I don't listen anymore that when people make comments, saying that if you are big person that you shouldn't be on here. I am getting the attention now, that I deserve. You're right ugly betty it is all in the state of mind, if you don't mind using your quote?
I have every right to be here.
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| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 4/27/2008 9:20:58 AM |
You didn't mention demographics. It is a reality that in advanced years there are fewer and fewer men because males die younger.
No, I didn't mention demographics, but I should have. I guess that's just another obstacle for me in my pursuit of happiness...
It's tough to compete with Jesus and Ghosts.
Everyone, put your hands in the air and give me a Halleluiah...
**Halleluiah**
Maybe what some of these women need is a man to show them that their lives are not over yet. If they've been alone for a while, a person just automatically gets stuck in a hole, and becomes comfortable with their way of life, no matter how boring it is.
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| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 4/27/2008 10:55:32 AM | | Irish Eyez has it right. No one, male or female wants a first date, or will consider a second date with someone who has a "bad attitude." People generally find what they're looking for and those looking for an enjoyable life generally find it. Those with excuses for why they can't generally can't. If your having a harder time dating now than you did twenty years ago you might do a careful analysis of how YOU and YOUR attitudes have changed in that time. I know my dating slumps can clearly be correlated with times in which I had a less than desirable attitude--call it carrying too much baggage. The best thing for dating slumps is to start working on developing ones own meaningful life such that you don't have time to blame others for your problems. | |
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| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 4/27/2008 11:50:00 AM | prof48:
Irish Eyez has it right. No one, male or female wants a first date, or will consider a second date with someone who has a "bad attitude." People generally find what they're looking for and those looking for an enjoyable life generally find it. Those with excuses for why they can't generally can't. If your having a harder time dating now than you did twenty years ago you might do a careful analysis of how YOU and YOUR attitudes have changed in that time. I know my dating slumps can clearly be correlated with times in which I had a less than desirable attitude--call it carrying too much baggage. The best thing for dating slumps is to start working on developing ones own meaningful life such that you don't have time to blame others for your problems.
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Yes. Toting baggage is more of a barrier than most women seem to realize.
I have known several women who had men from their past who still had the privilege of coming back into their homes and their lives. Now really, what man of any intelligence would stay around her when he sees that she is so mortgaged? At the very least it shows that she lacks the ability to say NO and if a woman cannot say NO then her YES is worthless. Until she can take complete control of her own life she has nothing worthwhile to offer a man who is at first attracted to her. Why should he want to get in bed with her so long as a number of ghosts are sharing her pillow?
I have a friend who is attractive and would like a man in her life. She does not seem to see how she messes up the picture by surrounding herself with so many cats I can't keep track. Really, does any man of quality and self-respect want to move in and take second place to a menagerie of stray cats? She is on track to become Eleanor in "The Simpsons," the "cat lady."
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| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 4/28/2008 2:16:47 AM | Life of Leisure.
Coulda fooled me... Most around here seem to be dealing with it by endlessly repeating the "will not settle" mantra.
Its not a *mantra*, please dont be so patronising, some of us genuine believe its better to not settle as youre only setting yourself up for a fall later. If at the start something that someone does irritates you, you can be darn sure before long its going to make you want to kill him/her. Its not about tickng boxes and if they fail to tick something crossing them off the list, maybe they have something else that you find endearing that replaces the so called box they didnt tick?. Lifes about adjustment yes, but you have to have the core basis of what youre looking for.. for me thats
not being married (i dont want to be someones bit on the side)
not being 21 (i dont want to be someones older toyboy fantasy)
not being into adult* fun (sex for me is special, not something i do at the end of every date in the hope they will call me again)
not doing drugs (because im anti drugs so shoot me)
If i were to date someone from the above catagories^^^^^^^^^ THAT would be settling and thats something i have enough confidence in myself NOT to do. If you get with someone so youre not alone, soon enough youre going to wish you were.
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| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 5/6/2008 11:42:43 AM | I don't think it's any harder at 40 then it is at 30 or 25. Certain people have a lot of luck in that others don't. But honestly I'm 37 and I get about the same number of dates I did when I was 27 so who knows. I think confidence helps but I know outgoing people who hardly date.  | |
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| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 5/6/2008 12:22:49 PM | Giday jennie girl, how ya doin mate?
I just turned 40 on the 1st of May darl and I can tell you in all honesty with a smile on mine face, and my shrinks,
I have L O V E D EVERY minute minute of it.
Good Luck
H H
Any one do that spellin test ?
I was 8 or 9 and I got it right.
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| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 5/6/2008 3:08:51 PM | i just turned 40 in february this year and i struggled to get dates before then as well.
iam not gonna lose ANY sleep tho if i never get another date........far better things to think about, my hobbies for one ..... | |
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| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 5/6/2008 3:59:16 PM | | Not trying to be rude but I am older than you and I thought from your photo you were much older than I am. You may want to adopt a younger hairstyle, the one you have now definately ages you. And SMILE in your picture, people that look friendly will attract more replies. | |
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| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 5/7/2008 1:19:10 AM | I can't decide if it's a yes or a no!
When I was younger, I would find someone I was attracted to, and most likely they were single. Now, I find men I'm attracted to, and they to me, well darn it, they're married! 
Experience has shown me things I can accept, and things I can't. I'm quicker to cut loose if I don't think it has potential. With work, friends and family, there's not much free time to date. Right now, if they're willing to ride/train with me, that would be a Saturday! Honestly, how many available cyclists, in my area, where there's a mutual attraction are there?! 
Funny, because of the time involved in being fit and athletic, and wanting to share that aspect with that special other, my pool is smaller than ever... | |
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| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 5/7/2008 3:43:37 AM | You know, I have to agree with Carolann. A little more smiling is crucial (don't worry about the smile line potential, it's not dangerous) and also, not to be rude, but lighten up on the hair a little and wear something more flattering than you're showing in your photos. One hour and a relatively small expenditure will make all the difference for you, I'm positive.
And not all 34+ are married and hiding, either. Have faith.
I'm chronologically older than both of you, and I'll date as young as 30 - and the young'uns have no problem with my current age, at least the smart ones, especially if I don't tell them.
Greetings from Gotham.
/I | |
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| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 5/7/2008 8:22:45 AM | I feel that way when it comes to tastes in music. Music is more than a casual interest...a lot of the events I enjoy involve music...so if my partner or friends can't get into the same styles/genres as I do, then we're not likely to click/connect or have much in common. Music is where I won't make a compromise. We either share the same tastes or I'm not interested. Very simple.
IMO people shouldn't reject another person just because he/she listens to other types of music. Listening to different music often means that you wouldn't go to the same concerts. That person could have many other things in common with you besides music. Most people probably have at least some non-music related interests. | |
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| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 5/7/2008 11:31:14 AM | I am 44, and IMHO there is a cover for every pot...you just have to find the one that fits you right...I have dated men my age and men 10 years younger, as well as 10 years older... they are out there....just have to attract them....good luck!
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| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 5/7/2008 12:05:26 PM | I don't have problems finding the dates, the issue is finding the dates that make you go hmmm on a continued basis, not just the first, best foot forward, meeting. Folks, it's not rocket science, just be you, it's either there or not, and the worst thing that could happen is you meet a new friend, or gain a valuable lesson.  | |
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| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 5/10/2008 2:51:24 PM | hang in there....good fortune will happen....patience....you usually find it where you are not looking.....this is a crap shoot
good luck...and the guys looking for the young ones....ego trip....
the best ladies out there are middle age....(40-60+).....appreciate being treated decently, love good sex, and dont get pregnent.....thank god.....
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| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 5/10/2008 3:23:41 PM | Just like women, men have a picture in their head of what they want.
This usually involves a young looking attractive woman.
Someone who is sexy is good too. | |
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| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 5/10/2008 4:02:51 PM | | OP...I do not wish to offend you, but I agree with Carolann...your hairstyle is kind of dated. Check out Carolann's do.....cute, right? Even the way you have your necklace outside of the high neck top is kind of old fashioned looking to be honest with you. I know this is not the profile review forum, but your question does sort of lead to the issue of your profile. In addition to updating your style, you might want to consider the info you've got under first date. You mention things like a nice dinner with candles and "even" a nice basketball game...not sure if you are referring to NBA, but I live in Toronto Raptor country, and let me tell you, that is not a cheap night out. You also conclude "just surprise me with a wonderful date". Perhaps it is not the impression you are trying to give, but it seems to me that it is kind of a burden to put on a man, especially one who doesn't even know you, and your likes and dislikes, yet. It gives the impression that you want him to do all the work, so to speak. No doubt you are a lovely person, and the way you refer to yourslef as a lady speaks to your traditional values....lots of men would probably love an "old fashioned" lady (I mean that in a NICE way!), but not one that looks old fashioned, and with an old fashioned outlook on dating----HE does all the work. Forgive me if this sounded harsh...I am trying to help. | |
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| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 5/10/2008 8:28:07 PM | Hi Jennielady,
well i just turned 40 this year and would have to agree with you.
i find it tougher...
certainly isnt as easy as when we were in our 20's. I think i was a lot tougher and confident then, now im so shy and dating makes me so nervous!!!
insane! | |
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| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 5/11/2008 6:20:33 AM | WOW I must be a catch then because I do not fall into ANY of those catagories hurray for me!!!! Now I just need to find that one woman I am compatible with and get off of pof for good so I can start a new relationship. | |
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| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 5/11/2008 1:48:19 PM | Why do the majority of men in their 40s look so old and fat, and why are they so incredibly dumb and illiterate? You would think by aged 40 they would have done something with their lives, managed to buy some decent clothes or have even read a newspaper, even the Telegraph. Gosh rural Australia especially Armidale has some incredible reject material.
Wow, imagine meeting a man your own age, who had at least retained the intelligence of a 15 year old, he might be able to manage a 5 minute conversation!
Still better not suggest a walk, unless you intend to carry the old fat fart home over your shoulder. What a barrel of fun a 40 year old man is, if he is not sleazing after a woman 10-20 years younger. Yeah yeah, we get all the 60 year olds proclaiming how wonderful they are, but what the hell is it that happens to the 40 year olds?
Talk about picking through the reject left overs, and then these rjects expect free non-monogamous sex with a fit educated stranger, unreal. OP it certainly gets harder to pick over such a dregs as what is left especially when they have the brains of a rabbit and are infected with stds to boot. | |
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| after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 5/11/2008 7:27:22 PM | Posted By: QUICKSILVER217 on 5/11/2008 1 19 PM
Subject: after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Message: Why do the majority of men in their 40s look so old and fat, and why are they so incredibly dumb and illiterate? You would think by aged 40 they would have done something with their lives, managed to buy some decent clothes or have even read a newspaper, even the Telegraph. Gosh rural Australia especially Armidale has some incredible reject material.
Wow, imagine meeting a man your own age, who had at least retained the intelligence of a 15 year old, he might be able to manage a 5 minute conversation!
Still better not suggest a walk, unless you intend to carry the old fat fart home over your shoulder. What a barrel of fun a 40 year old man is, if he is not sleazing after a woman 10-20 years younger. Yeah yeah, we get all the 60 year olds proclaiming how wonderful they are, but what the hell is it that happens to the 40 year olds?
Talk about picking through the reject left overs, and then these rjects expect free non-monogamous sex with a fit educated stranger, unreal. OP it certainly gets harder to pick over such a dregs as what is left especially when they have the brains of a rabbit and are infected with stds to boot.
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LOL, what a great post. Now why don't you tell us what you REALLY think? | |
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