| Chemistry...explain please
Posted: 4/19/2008 8:45:39 AM | | Is this chemistry? Its something felt subconsciously that is euphoric and surrendering and gets rekindled when a song like everytime our eyes meet?amazed takes you there. I haven't experienced it in a long time and tho sometimes mislabeled and really degraded by one I had chemistry with, the subconcious takes me there daily. The boasting of great chemistry with many sans me stings. When least expecting that chemical bond is when it will be found again. I am good kind giving and deserving, and after a post-trauma digression I am apologetic for wrongs and hurts and sorry for cheating or lying which isn't me and not done maliciously but in dating had been learned as it was done to me. These lessons create freedom and my dealings with others are open and honest and well intended and private. I am not shy in seeking chemistry again and will keep it next time. If facts become known (a source unblocks)and If no one was at risk of being upset from a bizarre network of communications I wouldn't sit back waiting for a non existent miracle but I know right where to search first and like a hooked sailfish fighting I would land the fish in the boat . Since that fish has been free to maneuver anytime without ramifications on her there was no thought to her chemistry connection here obviously . Chemistry is a potent formula for loyalty and in matured states its value or the risk to losing it won't fall prey to unresolved issues of fantasy not supporting longer term goal. | |
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| Chemistry...explain please
Posted: 4/19/2008 9:43:57 AM | I feel for you, OP. There have been a few guys who have been really nice, and look like reasonably good boyfriend material that I wish I had chemistry with. And I've been on the flip side too where I felt it, and the guy didn't. Can't force it. That idea is hard to accept - that it can't be changed. But there it is. All we can do is keep  | |
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| Chemistry...explain please
Posted: 4/19/2008 10:01:16 AM | Kiss on the lips - doomed doomed, friendship it is then.
Nowt you can do about it now.
N E X T | |
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| Chemistry = sexual attraction. When a woman tells you that she just thinksChemistry...explain please
Posted: 4/19/2008 11:52:38 AM | | I have to agree with Second Life.....its time for him to move on or just accept her as a friend! The attraction chemistry is very apparent in the first few seconds of meeting someone....if it ain't there, it ain't there, no matter how much we want it to be. The signals and body language are very clear here.....don't be discouraged, there are plenty of fish out there ....keep your line in the water!! | |
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| Chemistry...explain please
Posted: 4/19/2008 12:03:08 PM | Maybe that is why the divorce rate is so high! Women overlook or minimize important qualities for obseure, illogical ones. Then get all bent out of shape when things fall apart; the centre cannot hold.
Why do you expect relationships to work if your basing them on illogical qualities?
There is something to be said for arranged marriages. The parents usually have a good grasp of what makes a good marriage. Not all this pie in the sky stuff.
DOn't be fooled by the media hype, actors on coke dont know whats right! | |
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| Chemistry...explain please
Posted: 4/19/2008 12:34:15 PM | OP, I find it interesting that you absolutely ignore every post that actually answers your question. At least 4 different women have already written that she probably was willing to kiss you back TO SEE if there was any chemistry, yet you cling to this notion that she rejected you because of the way you look or the amount of money you have. Newsflash, she knew what you looked like and how much money you had long before that kiss. She obviously had no problem with that since she let you get that far. It was likely the lack of chemistry she felt when kissing you that was the deal breaker for her.
It's okay that you didn't understand this at the time, and great that you thought to post a question about it to get feedback from women about what she might have meant. That's how you learn, but only if you are actually willing to listen to what people are saying and change your mind based on what they have said. In my book, that closed-mindedness is what would turn me off, not a scar over your eye. Your pics actually reveal that you're pretty darn good looking ... great abs btw. | |
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Max43
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Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 57 | |
| Chemistry...explain please
Posted: 4/20/2008 1:08:04 AM | I like what a second life said on page 1 of this thread: When a woman tells you that she just thinks of you as a friend, that means she enjoys your company, but you have the sex appeal of her brother to her.
I'm surprised that at 35 yo you have not experienced chemistry. Makes me a little sad.
Chemistry = sexual attraction + electrical currents going through your body when you touch. I doubt that chemistry alone can sustain a relationship. Chemistry is when you get that feeling of butterflies in your stomach when you think about him/her. Butterflies in your heart is when you've emotionally connected.
Bottomline though : she's not interested and it takes two to swim together in a relationship. Time to change the bait on the fishing line. | |
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| Chemistry...explain please
Posted: 4/20/2008 2:36:58 AM | Chemistry for me , well if there is a spark there from the start thats a good thing, if its all blazing thats even better!
If its not there its not to be.
you just know when you feel that tickly feeling inside with someone.The sort of feeling that leaves you breathless for a moment.
I have been on both sides too, liked someone a lot, but it wasn`t the same for him and had guys like me but i didn`t feel the same. So yeah i`m still looking for that explosive chemistry to find me again .
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| Chemistry...explain please
Posted: 4/20/2008 5:08:45 AM |
Dark Tranquility...I couldnt agree more. That is what it seems like nowadays. What more do these women want. I mean not to brag, but I am a good catch,I think. I Dont drink(much) dont do drugs, never cheated, not abusive, I have a good paying job, own a condo,good with kids, good sense of haha, like to give massages, play the guitar, romantic, I can cook and im a decent looking guy. Still they want more..... Nowadays its tough and when you find someone with many important qualities you hang on to them.
Are you freakin' kidding me? You come on here with a question for us, supposedly looking
for answers, and when the ONE GUY that labels women as "hedonistic" for wanting
chemistry, you go all "RAH RAH" and figure there must be something wrong with the
woman!?!?
Men have made themselves far too available (ie. too common) and women demanding chemistry is one consequence of that. Some of them are like spoiled children wanting the latest shiny toy.
This quote is the biggest "WAAAAH" "Poor me", "I never get the one I want", WHINE I've
heard here in a long time.... and it seems that's the road the OP is gonna take as well.
Power to ya buddy. See how not taking responsibility for life works for ya.
The woman had no chemistry, no tingles, no passionate excitement with you. Get over
your freakin' self!! You kissed her for ten loooooong seconds without opening your
mouth and now she's prolly thinking your gay, or just happy you chose to keep your
tongue to yourself.
Quit whining and trying to make a point out of nothing. You felt something, she didn't.
Move on "Brad"..... and if that boil over your eye is such a hindrance to you, get rid of it.
It won't help with your "chemistry", but it will give you one less excuse. | |
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| Chemistry...explain please
Posted: 4/20/2008 5:21:58 AM | When she kissed you she kept it closed mouth. No chemistry. Chemistry is what would have made her open her mouth and grab the back of your head. Chemistry is when you can't keep your hands off each other.
Having things in common and being able to have a conversation is called friendship.
I have been physically attracted to individuals only to find zero chemistry. I have also not been very physically attracted to someone only to share a kiss with them and find myself wanting to rip their clothes off!!
It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that shwing!! | |
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| Chemistry...explain please
Posted: 4/20/2008 5:26:43 AM | | Chemistry is the way you both FEEL. It's the attraction. Nothing more. My ex-wife and I met on a blind date with two mutual friends who were also dating. We hardly spoke to each other all night (just out of shyness), but the chemistry was there. We ended up together for 14 years. | |
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| Chemistry...explain please
Posted: 4/20/2008 5:58:55 AM | you didn't blow her shoes off with a kiss, no racing of the heart or dampness
It is, what it is ~dar | |
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| Chemistry...explain please
Posted: 4/20/2008 6:26:49 AM | As we get older....unfortunately, the pheromone level diminishes. It's part of life cycles... I've read somewhere that in Africa, older women are encouraged to take on young lovers..to pick up that all important pheromone..and bring it back home to share within the couple..interesting huh?
Chemistry, it is important to feel it..and sometimes, and I speak of experience..it grows, or, maybe I didn't know what was happening the first time I met this great guy and it grew and grew to wild passionate encounters..but, after a while, the compatibility was so difficult that I just wanted to remain good friends..
So, what is best? to wait years and years to have it alllll..compatibility, chemistry & LOVE..in any order, OR, if you have one or at least two..and work at it.... If you find all three between 2 people and everything happens to align perfectly. I'd say you're pretty darn lucky!!!
I am still looking but maybe I found it and I have to be patient and work at developing.... | |
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| Chemistry...explain please
Posted: 4/20/2008 6:28:16 AM | | After biology...before physics and you have to understand math to do well in the class. Periodic table of elements is a b1tch. Hope for a great teacher it will make all the difference. | |
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| Chemistry...explain please
Posted: 4/20/2008 6:45:21 AM | WOW!!! This is the only post I've ever read where everyone agrees!
And please don't think that shoving your tongue in makes the chemistry happen. I feel it's kind of rude on a first kiss. (unless you're all in agreement that your clothes will fall off shortly)
energy equals mass times the square root of acceleration | |
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| Chemistry...explain please
Posted: 4/20/2008 7:06:33 AM | | This girl is honest with you and thinks of you as a friend, nothing more. That kiss was just the ending to a nice evening. Two people getting along, having a lot in common, carrying on great conversation and viewing each other as attractive are wonderful ingredients for lasting friendship but chemistry is necessary for anything more. If you have to ask what chemistry is, then you have never felt it. It's difficult to explain but for me it's very rare and elusive, a feeling of immediate connection with someone that goes far beyond initial physical attraction. It exists or it doesn't. Some people believe that if you have friendship first that the chemistry will follow. This has never held true for me. I have male friends I've known for years, enjoy being around them, laugh and talk with them and as much as I wish chemistry existed, it just is not there. | |
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| Chemistry...explain please
Posted: 4/20/2008 7:51:41 AM |
... I've read somewhere that in Africa, older women are encouraged to take on young lovers..to pick up that all important pheromone..and bring it back home to share within the couple..interesting huh?
Message: That the same country that some HIV positive men rape young girls hoping for a cure.
I'd be slow to drink the Kool Aid ~ dar | |
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| Chemistry...explain please
Posted: 4/20/2008 7:59:49 AM |
"Men have made themselves far too available (ie. too common) and women demanding chemistry is one consequence of that. Some of them are like spoiled children wanting the latest shiny toy."
This quote is the biggest "WAAAAH" "Poor me", "I never get the one I want", WHINE I've heard here in a long time.... and it seems that's the road the OP is gonna take as well.
Power to ya buddy. See how not taking responsibility for life works for ya.
It wasn't meant to be a whine. I was saying that *some* women take the chemistry requirement too far. And that is part and parcel with having too many men to choose from. I suspect some men would become very demanding as well should the situation be reversed.
In any case, chemistry isn't something men should worry about "producing" in women. She will either feel what she feels entitled to feel or she doesn't. It's not something guys should concern themselves with. Just have fun, don't try so hard and dont' go into every interaction hoping that *she* likes you. Remember, she might have incompatible qualities too. | |
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| Chemistry...explain please
Posted: 4/20/2008 11:46:00 AM | | I absolutely agree with some of the other posts, chemistry is really undescribable but when its there, look out. I recently met this guy who was wonderful and my ideal in every way, only problem, didn't feel any chemistry with him. We went out for a nice dinner, talked, laughed, even had a kiss at the end of the nite. But I'm not going to settle for a relationship without a hint of chemistry nor should you OP and once you've had a taste of it there's no going back. | |
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| Chemistry...explain please
Posted: 4/20/2008 12:14:08 PM | Frist of all there are girls gone wild girls that live off one night stands and they dont go back to the other guys for another night. I'm sure they say sweet nothings to them too. Who doesn't like to kiss? Chemistry is different for all people. Just because she kissed you doesnt' mean she's into you.
For many women, its this magical butterfly in the stomach feeling but to be honest they watch Titanic too much. that is why this effect causes hundreds of posts on why their relationships go bad after a certain period of time, and why guys prey on them and use it against them.
In reality chemistry is having common interests, and a feel of safety and comfort with that person so you can be yourself. You enjoy the company, and feel its very fun and enjoyable all the while being yourself.
Don't be naive though. The internet is not real life. Many are looking for hookups or even sugardaddy's. You went for a nice dinner she appreciated it, moved on, and thats it. She is not into you. | |
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| Chemistry...explain please
Posted: 4/20/2008 1:54:41 PM | Chemistry is naturally occuring "clicking"~ for lack of better term.
However pointless if it isn't recriprocated. Yin meets Yang- not singular. | |
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| Chemistry...explain please
Posted: 4/30/2008 9:07:43 PM | | I accept the fact that she isnt into me. I have known this girl for 5 years. Worked with her on a cruise ship ad we kept in touch. I moved back to Edmnonton , called her up and we went out a few times as friends NOW.... most of the women on here have said that they have met guys before that they have had great conversation with laughed with, lots in common, and have found them attractive but no chemistry. I dunno I guess to me that is chemsitry. When you find someone who has the package deal qualities I say grab on to them and dont let them go. Its hard to find the keepers. I have been on dates where I didnt feel "Chemisty" cos we didn't have anything in common, hard to keep the conversation going, differnt views. And not much of an attraction. But when you do have all those things which she and I do (and we have both admitted it) that IS chemistry.....to me. | |
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| Chemistry...explain please
Posted: 4/30/2008 9:32:01 PM |
And not much of an attraction. But when you do have all those things which she and I do (and we have both admitted it) that IS chemistry.....to me.
...thought I'd chime in again...here's some practical advice....
...sure it's very possible that the "chemistry" was mutual....not too hard to tell if ya just stop talking for a while and look her in the eye....BUT ...when it's time to step up to the plate and take her like that man that you are...that "chemistry" can go right out the window if you DON'T do it....that seemed like your problem to me.....you're the man...you have to initiate with passion & authority....it's no secret that some women will judge a man's ability between the sheets based on the first kiss (which is completely rediculous) ...soooo you better make it GREAT
I've been in your shoes....the chemistry was wicked...but I was young and stupid...didn't step up when the time was right....women WON'T wait around forever...and they're certainly not going to jump you....you got to aknowledge that chemistry for all it's worth.....
Good luck with the next girl.... | |
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| Chemistry...explain please
Posted: 5/1/2008 4:12:20 PM |
sooo it seems that unless you look like Brad Pitt, you will never spark the chemistry with a women.....how shallow!!!
I think one of the (few) guys that responded to your question is correct...you need to use your brain more...
Most of the responses here are from women and they all say the same thing...it has little to do with LOOKS. It has to do with the way he makes you feel...it could be a number of things and looks don't always make or break the deal. The best chemistry and sexual relationship I ever had was with a guy I knew for a year and NEVER considered as a lover. He "hit on me" a few times and I was actually turned off by him. Then one night I had a dream about him and so I started to watch him a little more. The more I noticed him the more I liked him. Eventually, I fell totally in love with him because of the chemistry we shared. Unfortunately, he totally broke my heart because for him it was "only sex" which leads me to this question....
For men does CHEMISTRY = GREAT SEX? I get the feeling that men just see sex as an extension of masterbating sometimes. | |
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