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Posted: 3/31/2008 11:49:46 AM | | So, you want some advise. Ok, Ill bite. First and formost, if contacting this jerks girlfriend is going to clear her name of being a home wrecker, so to speak, then absolutley. It may make the situation worse. But makeing it clear to all concerned what actually happened and what was said or not said is the only way to put her back in control of her life. My advise to your friend is to be alittle more selective on who she "hooks up" with( Ya I know, nothing happened). If she walked in and saw all that stuff and he said it was his sisters and it wasnt, then he played her. Personally, I dont take home strays. But then again, Im 50. I know better. This all happened for a reason, or it wouldnt have happened at all. Shes got to do some damage control and move on. Lifes to short to be drug into someone elses train wreck. I hope it all works out for her. Good luck and take care........ | |
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Posted: 3/31/2008 11:56:58 AM | Thanks guys for the advice. To be honest, as most of you suspected, I am the offender described above. Anyways, I had a very valuable lesson reinforced this weekend (one that I should already have known)! It was a stupid choice and I’ve been dealt the repercussions. I received a second email from his girlfriend today (she is getting more agitated) and I decided to take the advice of most of the women and write her back. I’m just going be honest, and let her know that I was with him, that I had no idea that he was attached and that I am not interested in contact from here on out. I still have no idea how she got my name or my email address, but I don’t want to stir the pot anymore. I didn’t even get into the fact that we did not have sex since the line was crossed when he invited me home with him. I was stupid to go and even stupider to believe he lived with his SISTER, but I can wash my hands of this mess since I am not attached to anyone and was led to believe he wasn’t either. Anyways big mistake, but I’m just going to let it go…Live and let live
Thanks again. | |
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Posted: 3/31/2008 12:07:57 PM |
Thanks guys for the advice. To be honest, as most of you suspected, I am the offender described above. Anyways, I had a very valuable lesson reinforced this weekend (one that I should already have known)! It was a stupid choice and I’ve been dealt the repercussions.
It's that "beer bong" pic in your profile that gave it away...
so, er... whats the name of this bar you hang out at? | |
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Posted: 3/31/2008 12:13:32 PM | FYI The girlfriend will never upon never believe your friend anyway. Don't reply to her or her friend and cease all contact with Mr. Wrong.
Doing otherwise is to only breed drama. | |
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Posted: 3/31/2008 12:36:21 PM | kitchenlover, it sounds like you took it forward and resolved it in the best way you could.
Good for you, and also good for you for owning up that it wasn't really "your friend."
Be careful out there! | |
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Posted: 3/31/2008 4:36:44 PM | | I would reply. She was at his place, but nothing happened. People with nothing to hide, hide nothing. I would say though that any further inquiry should be directed toward this cheating man. He's the problem, not your friend. | |
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Posted: 3/31/2008 5:43:02 PM | wow, by the first couple of responses, im shocked at you ppl!! I'm just not a huge fan of the "bar star" lifestyle.
Apparently you are.
how many times have you had to help out a friend who got into a sticky situation? If a person has to help out a friend, perhaps it's also helpful to recognize what behavior may be causing them to get into sticky situations.
this could have happened anywhere at anytime, not just after a night at the bar.
You're right, this could happen in a lot of places.
However, if a person does not want to be the woman, who this happens to, then maybe she should be a little more careful about the quality of men she's meeting.
If she's going home, with the random stranger from the bar: she's obviously not being too cautious about the type of guy she's meeting.
As a result, she's the type of woman who's setting herself up to be caught up in this type of situation.
To be honest, as most of you suspected, I am the offender described above. Yup.
People always start threads here, for their "friend"
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Posted: 3/31/2008 8:50:42 PM | | I have been in this situation more then a few times where I had been contacted by girlfriends or wives of a few men that i have made contact with through various on-line dating sites. I write back, telling them that they had better keep their man on a tighter leash because he did not mention one word about being attached. I usually thank her for contacting me, saying now I can take that looser off my list. | |
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Posted: 3/31/2008 9:30:46 PM | "But look at it from a different point of view...... the idea that his so called girlfriend got your email address is that she either looked at his emails??? or it is the guy himself...??
Think about the possibilities? He really isn't into her and what best way to get rid of a woman is to pretend it is his 'girlfriend' found out... cause while he was with her face to face he most probably told her the truth 'his sister' shares the place with him ...
hmm oh well just another take on things???"
Pink Leather - you might just be right!! Most guys on here say they want the sex. If she didn't give it up after not know him and going home with him anyways...well he was looking for an out.
"Besides, venue aside - she went home with him. Within hours of meeting him. Sorry...not very bright, in my book. Bad judgement call, you might say. Could have been worse, I suppose...he could have ended up telling her "it rubs the lotion on its skin..."
Hillside CA - You are oh so right! If an email from the supposed girlfriend and the girlfriends friend is all she got.. well... she got of easy with the decision she made to go home with him!!! | |
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Posted: 3/31/2008 9:40:18 PM | It's amazing how many stories I've read on here that just don't seem to add up ;)
You slept over in the guys empty apartment, and immediately his girlfriend somehow knows when you were there, what his intentions were in bringing you home, AND your email address?
What on earth?
If you're being honest I don't really see how you did anything wrong, but the situation described is bizarre. Perhaps the guy intentionally let his girlfriend "discover" you were there and he was simply using you as a way out of his relationship. Did he have your e-mail address?
Anyways it doesn't matter. I say if you had s3xual interactions with him under the understanding that he was single then you're not at fault and it'd be nice to let his girlfriend know about it. Though some people would say it's none of your business. Tough call. I think he dug his own grave and there's no harm in telling them to truth. | |
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Posted: 4/1/2008 5:30:43 AM | | Wasn't this just an episode on "Girls Behavin Badly" less than two weeks ago?? | |
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Posted: 4/2/2008 1:57:24 AM |
I'm just not a huge fan of the "bar star" lifestyle. Apparently you are.
uuuuh, actually, far from it, thanks. 
im just one of those that give the benefit of the doubt. | |
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Posted: 4/2/2008 3:32:11 AM | By the way, you said there was no sex, and this is certainly not something I would call a "date," so...why post here? Clearly this belongs in the Catfights and Misbehaving Barflies forum.
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Oh Dear People of POF, the well meaning OP came here looking for help to real issue, and all most of you did was criticize, maybe some helpful hints could help her nitwit friend out of a bizarre jam:
I suggest:
1. That your friend email the nosey skank and tell her to keep away from her new man
2. Your friend needs to have a heart to heart talk about what to do if she gets pregnant, does this guy she met in the bar really have enough "cajones" (not cahones) to help raise a child even if not married.
3. Have your friend change her email address and cancel all her credit cards and drivers license, just in case some ID theft happened when she was drunk as usual.
4. Inform your friends that if they want to stay friends with you, they will castigate that "Playa", and make him an outcast in society, jJust like they do in Africas, they don't look at rejects. They reject their soul.
4. Finally, its good your getting involved, that shows care for your society, people who drink a lot need friends more than most.
5. Go out and get yourself a really nice handbag, one made of environmentally recycled materials. That email woman won't know what to say,,,, | |
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METOG
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Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 39 | |
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Posted: 4/8/2008 5:26:26 PM | | I would leave it alone..even if the GF kept emailing I would ignore the GF. Reason being it was one night, people sleep over peoples houses when they are too drunk to drive..call it that and jump ship. the guy's a jerk & the GF is an idiot for confronting another female about her own cheating BF. | |
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Posted: 4/8/2008 5:38:16 PM | OP - i would advise her to reply to the e mail and simply say that she was under false pretense and has no intention of keeping any form of communication. then say she would appreciate it if was left at that.
What are you fucking crazy!!! Your just looking to start trouble-
She is obviously well aware that she was in her place over
the weekend. How the hell did she get your personal info??? He the
pussy shithead probably got it for her. How else would she know you guys
had a mutual friend if he did not tell her. WTF is wrong with people.
She has her friend contacting you- oh man. This is just itching for a fight.
Seriously, could you reason with another female if she was in your place
with your man? - you would want to rip her heart out and blame him later.
delete the emails- have no contact with these people- you have no idea
what you are dealing with.
And Next time- play fucking smart- your 27 years old. If your going to act
like this and go to a strange guys house you JUST MET
then be fucking prepared for the consequences.
You dont like what I have to say then stop acting this way because alot
of the people here are thinking what Im saying to you here.
You dont go to strangers houses and get breakfast in bed and dont
have to pay anything for it- now your paying by dealing with these people
you dont even know. | |
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Posted: 4/8/2008 6:39:42 PM | | I had a similar thing happen to me but I didnt met him at the bar, he is an ex of mine who I had/do still talk to, and apparantly new girlfriend didnt know all of it, just like i didnt. I told her everything, and when she accused me of doing things wrong I pointed out what her man did. She left me alone after that, and I cleared my name. Not saying this will always be the case, you never know, your dealing with someone stupid enough to have done this much.. | |
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Posted: 5/25/2009 6:43:40 PM | | Truth at all costs is the ONLY way to properly deal with a situation like this! How would you feel if the only person holding the key to your peace of mind simply ignored you, or lied to you? Things like this only get worse, and cause more damage as time goes on... What happens 5 years down the road when these two get married, have kids, then he decides to do this again, or finally tell her the truth then??? Do the gf a favour and let her know what her man is too **** to say himself. It's HIS job to begin with, and he deserves whatever happens as a result of shtting the bed, just like she DESERVES to know the truth. | |
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Posted: 5/25/2009 6:45:42 PM | | Wow, I just realized I'm about a month and a half behind on that one! Haha! Well, if she hasn't replied to the email yet, better late than never! ;) | |
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Posted: 5/25/2009 8:00:41 PM | | ^^^ LMAO, try one year and a month and a half..... Time to see the eye doctor for a check up. J/K | |
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Posted: 5/25/2009 8:02:24 PM | This is the most moronic post I've read in a long, long time.  Do people really do this stuff? | |
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