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DKD15
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Joined: 4/18/2005
Msg: 102 | |
| Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 7/28/2005 3:18:24 PM | I belive there are 2 kinds of people scared people and risktakers. Scared people jsut talk about what they want even if what they want is right in fornt of them, they think to much on things and never act on what they feel. They end up un happy and alone.
Now the risktakers put themselfs on the line and risk getting hurt. I mean your going to meet alot of junk before you find you tresure so you going to take a risk. Risktakers find love because to win big you have to risk big.
I used to like beging alone I found love and felt love and lost it. I dont care how many people i have to date to find "the one" but i am willing to have to go thrught all the heart ache and pain to find her. | |
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| Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 7/28/2005 6:13:52 PM | Hermitism 101
Greetings class. Let me introduce myself. I'm Mr. Hermit. I'll write that on the board for you, that's H_e_r_m_i_t. Alrighty, let's get started.
Being alone isn't necessarily the same as being "lonely". Our mental attitude towards a situation seems to be what largely dictates what our emotional response to it is. If a person dwells on thoughts of being with someone and imagining it to be a fulfilling situation, then they're going to feel pretty darn lonely. But when that same person is not entertaining such fantasies, their mind is in just in a neutral state, just as everyone else's normally is.
Relationships generally start out with deception, plateau with continual conflicts and power plays, and crash-land with long lasting misery. Being with someone is, in many cases, actually more miserable than being alone, even for a highly social person. It's a fallacy to assume that the answer to your happiness lies in the hands of another, and you're potentially setting yourself up for miserable life. It's possible to live a happy and fulfilling life with limited human contact.
We're constantly bombarded with images on the television, and with all kinds of social pressures, telling us that we can only truly be happy with another. And we're continually feed unrealistic images about this Utopian existence. The pictures in magazines and the people living happily ever after on television have chiseled beauty, flawless skin, etc., etc. So we associate those images of perfection with human intimacy, which creates highly unrealistic images in the mind that we then try to obtain. The vast majority of people attempt to build relationships around these fantasy images. A good example is how one person earlier in the thread here described how she was waiting for someone that would make her toes curl when they kiss. Good luck on that one.
It's nearly impossible to have a relationship where at least one person isn't clinging to the Utopian relationship model. No one can realistically live up to these expectations, making conflict and strife inevitable. And that's just one problem with maintaining a relationship. There's a host of others just as problematic.
This doesn't mean that we shouldn't look for someone whom we have can share a healthy relationship with, it just means that truly healthy relationships are extremely difficult to develop. And in the mean time, it would be wise to learn how to live as a hermit, which is an art and has its own dignity and beauty to it. Make peace with your life as it is now, don't think that another person is going to deliver it to you. | |
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| Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 7/28/2005 8:31:17 PM |
Besides nuns and priest do you think some people are never meant to find someone?
Not even Nuns or Priest are meant to be alone, human beings are social beings. | |
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| Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 7/28/2005 9:59:46 PM | ...1st post of many
I think people that are alone choose to be alone. For example, I choose to be alone because I do not know anyone that I would want to spend time with, besides my daughter.
Another example, someone that has been hurt in a past relationship might choose to be alone because of how their significant other had treated them, or even many significant others treated them.
Anyone can run down to the local bar, pool hall, library what ever have you, and find someone to be with. Most of us if not all are particular about what we want. | |
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POF123
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Joined: 7/5/2005
Msg: 107 | |
| Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 7/29/2005 3:34:44 AM | fact: no 1 wants to be alone, if they say they dont mind being alone..its bullcrap
truth: someppl cant seem to find or keep a relationship and will be alone which is unfortunate
comment: u have to take a chance to be happy even if u get burned during the process | |
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| Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 7/29/2005 3:46:16 AM | i dont think some people are MEANT to be alone its just circumstantial
Bur I do think majority of people think you're supposed to be in a couple. I am always, always being told that i will 'find someone someday' but who's to say i will and im not bothered.
if it happens it happens.
in the meantime ive got my life to be getting on with instead of waiting for 'mr right'. | |
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| Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 7/29/2005 4:10:24 AM | *** ABSOLUTELY ***
God knows I've tried before! I do everything right (I really do) but every time I get kicked in the teeth. The more I try the worse the kicking I get - and the more I hate women because of it. It's got to the stage where I'm in bad shit now because of the last girl messing up my life. I don't think I've ever met anyone as bad as her - but I'm sure there is probably someone out there waiting for me who's twice as bad. She'll be the next one I imagine.
I think that Destiny is definately trying to reinforce the message that some people are meant to be alone - and I just happen to be one of them. Which is perfectly fine by me, because I can handle my own company perfectly (I relish it) and I'm certain my Destiny has other plans for me and I'm happy to go along with it.
To answer anyone who disregards this theory by making the observation that these people are trawling the Internet dating sites - I can speak for myself and what I know about myself. There is very little desire to meet anyone, just a small amount of non-committal interaction at a safe distance serves to make up for that key element missing. It's a kind of masochistic craving for unrequited attention.
Sometimes it's enjoyable getting an abusive message (thanks to IMDEADINSIDE for that one about me being the next count Dracula - I didn't realise I looked so terrible until now, so I assume I must be a frog rather than a prince, hence the new picture and profile). It awakens a passion and a lighthearted desire to retort something equally offensive - though perhaps best to resist the urge unless you want some trouble for yourself.
Does this answer your question? I haven't illustrated it very well, but my I'm not sure where my heads at right now. | |
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| Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 7/29/2005 4:23:13 AM | It's mainly their own problem, I had a former girlfriend that said she was single for years and that was o.k. with that.
My thoughts are: You have some kinda lunacy issues chick. I am sure she is once again enjoying her singularity ........odd one out to be forgotton. There are plenty-O-fish out there that want the company of another, me being one of course. | |
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| Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 7/29/2005 7:25:06 AM | I do not know if there are people who are meant to be alone. Perhaps they prefer to be alone. It may be presumptuous to state that all people who are single have been hurt or afraid to live life to its fullest. Alone does mean lonely.
Some people who do not like being “alone”, can not fathom how anyone could possibly be happy without a significant other. There use to be a stigma that if a woman was not married, by her late 20’s she was doomed to be an old maid, living a sad lonely life. For the most part society has let up on the pressure that everyone should be married, but there is still a stigma about being “alone”.
Have you ever over heard someone say to the opposite sex, “no wonder you’re single”. It's an insult from "the missing link”.
From some of the comments I've read there are some people here looking for relationships; that sound very bitter towards the people who like being on their own. 
Calling Dr.Freud, calling Dr. Freud, you are being paged to the fish pond forum | |
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| Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 7/30/2005 4:15:56 AM | Marathonman11x7 is right. It's not that some people are meant to be alone, it's that they choose to be.
We all make choices in life and our decisions are based on our experiences, our feelings and our attitude/confidence in ourselves. If you want something, you just have believe in yourself, work for it and make it happen. It all comes down to making that decision and sticking to it.
First steps are hard, getting back up after you've been knocked down is even harder. But life is all about challenge - that's what makes it "interesting" :) | |
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| Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 7/30/2005 11:54:21 AM | The idea that there is "someone for everyone" is something we tell people to make them feel better, but when we dissect that thought, it becomes clear that it simply can't be true.
For starters, its mathematically impossible. There are more Women than Men. And in places where the numbers are different, there is never an equal number. I'm not taking into account same sex relations, but I'm straight so its not my concern or intent to concern you with it.
Do you know what we are really meant to do? We're meant to live; there are no guarantees on how that life will shape up, and its foolish for us to think that we are somehow entitled to any.
There have been countless people over Human history who never found a mate, and there will always be others, and even more as the population continues to grow. In actuality our problems are mostly made by people who have no business being together, having children, raising them wrong and creating another generation of fools just like them. The least of our problems are people who keep to themselves. | |
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| Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 7/30/2005 11:57:35 AM | ^^^^ So true ! LOL, after listening to some of the other People write in the other threads
and forums, I know for a fact that some people are meant to be alone ;) | |
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Jorale
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Joined: 7/29/2005
Msg: 120 | |
| Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 8/7/2005 9:50:55 AM | | The birds do it,gold fish in priviacy of golds do it, even lasy jelly fish do it,elec. ells i might add do it ,though it shock them i know....Some say even Boston bake beens do it,and we'll all do it too fall in love.No man/woman is a island! | |
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| Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 8/7/2005 1:11:50 PM | | Hey peaceful hermit, you could'nt of said it better, its your state of mind, strong people stand alone, I always found the most confident people were the ones who never lean on others. You have to make yourself happy that is number one, some people are miserable because they put too much energy into others and trying to make others happy and I can go on and on, i see it eveyday in relationships, I've also seen many happy ones too, I'm not trying to be negative here, I just find some people are happier to be alone | |
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| Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 8/7/2005 1:19:22 PM | Yes...some are called to the religous life as the author stated, others are called to marriage, and still some are called to single life...I think a subtext of this thread could be the issue of being lonely rather than alone...there is a difference...
Furthermore, a relationship requires effort, selflessness, and sacrifice to which some have no intentions of ever offerring to another person | |
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| Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 8/7/2005 1:28:35 PM | Nuns and priests are some sexy ****es.
I mean, they get to wear all the cool clothes, devote themselves to helping people, and chant Saint's names for whatever reason.
I want me one, just to have around the house. You know, bless dinner and poop. | |
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| Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 8/7/2005 4:42:56 PM | | I am not really sure how this works [posting]---but I wanted to compliment you on such wise abservations on life, well spoken---after my 10 year marriage split up I would ask my self-----do I miss "HIM " or am I just lonely--sure enough-----I was just lonely at that particular time, lol-and it wasn't "him" that I was missing at all, just a little bored. I have been on my own many years now---and sure don't experience the sad or difficult times I experienced in unhealthy relationship-I would rather live in a room by myself---than in a mansion with someone I didn't want to be with--too many people sell there souls for financial security--and never really enjoy life to its fullest-- | |
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