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| Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 3/5/2008 10:36:54 AM | Ironically enough I fell upon this thread today. As this is a question that I have been contimplating for some time. I know that everyone says that there is always SOMEBODY out there for everyone, but is there? Really? I mean I wish to believe that too. Whole heartedly, but sometimes I just really wonder. I have often thought that I was meant to be alone, although I have always seen myself with someone for the long haul it just seems more and more hopless as the years progress.
Where are all the people of substance? It's like all that is left out there are those who are strictly looking for sex, those who are too screwed up with their own baggage to even consider contimplating a relationship right now (yet their on a dating site - which is beyond stupid) or those who are already in relationships but want to be with more than one person to spruce up adventure. I swear it's slim pickings out there folks!!! VERY SLIM!!!! | |
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| Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 3/5/2008 10:42:46 AM | | With the passing of this past year I have grown and learned so much. I can truely say Yes to that question. Some people are just very independent and like being on their own. U don't have to deal with all the crap in a relationship nor answer to anyone. It's all about being true to ourself. U have to learn to love yourself and be happy with yourself and being alone isn't so bad! | |
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| Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 3/5/2008 10:50:38 AM | yes, but, seems to me the ones who should be alone get all the girls, or all the boys...
and the ones who should find love... dont we end up alone? confused about why the people we love so much, ignore us and go out with fools and get played?
so, it would seem, many people would rather be alone instead of with the wrong person.... even tho most of those people just want to go out and get laid anyways. u are all so wierd!
no wonder i am meant to be alone... | |
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| Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 3/5/2008 10:53:53 AM | There is "alone" and "alone".
Aside of all that have been already mentioned here; there is another type: the narcissistic extroverted ones (inside of the behavioral/personality disorder scheme)
Those are people who cannot live without others but are incapable to have a close and unique relationship with one person (partner). As their own universe is only centered on themselves, they see any concessions or even the smallest boundaries as an attack to their "freedom" and see everything as a form of control. The partner become an enemy, a "road block", an imaginary restrain; that kind of person are incapable to see that they have a problem and see any partners as the focus of all of their problems.
They will crave friendship and be extra social as they will obtain temporarily all that they want, be able to "throw" away any one that do not 'fit" their criteria or do need too much of their "attentions" or real work and will simply "switch" friendship" depending of their current needs or "wants".
This way they think that they do not have to do any "work", get the instant gratifications they need, have their ego flattered as "friends" generally do not tell it 'as is" but will "side with" them without questioning (patronize/condenscending) ...plus all the material bonuses in some case (party hang out); never seeing that it is only a "dodge".
This extra socialization is only a placebo to palliate to a complete lack of empathy of a close party and an inability to make changes or concessions; a fear to "see" whom they really are and face the problem as a partner will reveal whom they really are to them as the partner can see behind the "public" image...and see the "private" and real image. Also that a partner expect equality and reciprocity....which N.E people are never willing to accept or give, fully or partially.
Some of them will even be able to be in a relationship for a couple of year, but only if they control everything and even then, most of those years will be "roller coasters" with always a dramatic ending; but they will always blame the partner to be the cause and never admit or see that they are the primarily reason of the problem as their own actions created a reaction only (their cannot be a reaction without an initial action!!! this they do not understand)
Will that kind of person ever change? Yes only if they can be showed their ways, get out of their "bubble" and start to take responsibilities for their actions; and when they see that their admittance have no bad side effects on them but in fact have positive effect on all, a chain reaction of opening, acceptance, tolerance and empathy is then created.
Clarity and happiness is then truly enjoyed. | |
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| Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 3/5/2008 1:40:30 PM | We got along great, talked for hours, were very comfortable in each other's company and suddenly she doesn't want to give me the time of day. That's a very providencial sign to me that maybe relationships aren't for me. I certainly don't believe the online gig is working for me.
There there Thunderwalker. You poor thing. Got your heart broken once or twice and now you're all clapped out.
There are many statements like the one above. They are all manifestos. People speak this "relationships are not for me" crap into being. They make it "manifest". They talk themselves into it.
It's like a disease. Many mental diseases are fear-based and this one is no different. For whatever reason people need to develop a more robust character. I'm certainly not going to contribute to the fog of blind validation.
There's nothing wrong with being alone for a time, but there is something wrong with programing yourself to exclude the possibility of being with someone.
When you experience failure in life of any sort, you can either learn from it (adapt) and profit, or you can use it as a trajectory and be a passenger to that. Being a passenger is certainly easier - but it brings no joy. There is a useful abuse of a useless truism that says "YOU WIN SOME, YOU LEARN SOME".
Stop crying and get your sorry arse back up on the damn horse I say. | |
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| Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 3/5/2008 1:56:14 PM | I am convinced that, if my marriage doesn't survive, that I am meant to be alone. At 50, I'm not planning on saying "I do" again. I don't want to challenge Mickey Rooney or Zsa Zsa Gabor for the record. | |
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| Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 3/5/2008 1:58:05 PM | | While I don't believe in the concept of 'meant to be' as though it were fated, I do think some people are just going to end up alone. Whether they're happier this way or not doesn't really enter into the equation. | |
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| Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 3/5/2008 2:01:30 PM | I am convinced that, if my marriage doesn't survive, that I am meant to be alone. At 50, I'm not planning on saying "I do" again. I don't want to challenge Mickey Rooney or Zsa Zsa Gabor for the record.
In my mind, marriage certainly is not the only alternative to being alone. | |
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| Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 3/5/2008 2:41:57 PM | Good afternoon may I share my view of the light at the end of the tunnel of love. Until each of us become alright within ourselves we are unable to love anyone else. This answer has been debated for years and it seems we are still debating the lonely factor. It is impossible for anyone to make you happy, that is a happiness that will last forever. This comes from within first is the unconditional love of a child for his parents. I understand many of you may have issue with your parents, but they are your parents and there's no one that will ever love their child any better than the mother or father of a child. I am also aware this is a best case scenario of an answer.
May I continue in this view of unconditional love, for me it is like the question is common sense better than what we gain from books. You only need to go back to the theories of Einstein to realize this question has been debated for years. I am just a simple man but I understand the theories of Einstein. Does that make me a smart as Einstein, absolutely not it is only when a theory is applied to life that it becomes knowledge worth passing on.
It is a personal choice of whether you're alone or with someone. Unconditional love are those actions that except those around us for they are. So as a traveler in time, or let's use Einstein's theory of the fourth dimension. The future, where is your future and your past separate.
 : I enjoy making people smile so from here each of you have an equal opportunity to agree or disagree. If I'm not mistaken I will receive your answer in the future and without you answering I will never know. As always Jim    | |
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| Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 3/5/2008 3:15:56 PM |
It is a personal choice of whether you're alone or with someone.
For some, they choose not to be in a relationship, for others....it's chosen for them.
I believe that I was meant to be alone. I think I was meant to take a different course in life. Not sure what that is yet, however. | |
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| Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 3/5/2008 3:21:59 PM | | No, they're not meant to be alone really, we all need someone to keep us going. I wouldn't wanna to be alone for too long, I miss the company. Nuns and priest hmmmm.... they got each other somewhere there, but one day they'll see the light. I know a teacher who was a nun who left convent and married a male teacher, I guess she was missin something out somewhere there. | |
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| Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 3/5/2008 3:22:33 PM | Alone?
Have you wanted to be,
Alone like me, alone like me alone.
Wake up one day and decide that,
You want to touch the sky,
But you want to touch it alone.
Alone I need to be.
Alone, some body take me home.
Because I, well I need to be alone.
Alone is all I need.
Alone is best for me.
Wake up in bed and open my eyes,
Alone I need, alone I need to be.
Pushing the day as the sun does rise,
Alone I need, alone I need to be.
Alone I need to be.
Alone somebody take me home.
Because I, well I need to be alone.
Alone is all I need.
Alone is best for me. | |
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| Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 3/5/2008 4:51:54 PM | | I don't believe anyone is meant to be alone at all. You make a decision to do so based on you experiences and the way you feel about things, Every one needs someone even if its not permanent. | |
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| Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 3/5/2008 7:20:21 PM | Quick answer: Alone no. Single yes. Detailed answer below:
It's human nature to seek out the comfort of others and, by that regard, tremendously few people are really even comfortable being alone. Even the company of strangers would be preferable over no human contact at all.
If you're asking if some people are meant to be lonely, I'd say yes. But only because they choose to feel lonely. Loneliness is an emotional state. As such, a person can change that emotional state.
But single on the other hand, I do believe many people, myself included, are destined to be single. I enjoy living in my house all by myself. Even when I have a companion, I wouldn't let her live with me.
And we have to throw in a Bill Clinton: "It depends on what the meaning of the word ‘is’ is" moment.
It depends on what the meaning of the word 'meant' meant. Meant as in destined or meant as in intended.
And on and on we go.
PEACE | |
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| Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 3/16/2008 2:06:23 PM | Judging by the lack of success I've had on POF I'd say yes. I guess women just don't take to me.Not just here but in life. I didn't get married until age 35,been divorced 5 years and had nobody since.  | |
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| Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 3/17/2008 12:24:22 AM | Yes. some people truly do better alone. I met someone that couldn't handle being in a relationship. he went crazy everytime he was involved with someone. i truly believe he was meant to be alone.
also many of my older family members have never been married and are alone and will continue that way. | |
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| Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 3/17/2008 3:01:15 AM | Yes, I certainly do!
Anyone who habitually lies, even (and especially) to themselves, can never truly be happy with themselves, so how can they be happy with anyone else?
Any relationship such a person enters is doomed unless they address their own underlying problems. | |
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| Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 3/17/2008 3:29:22 AM | I don't know about 'meant to be alone'
But its a choice,
I've not really dated anyone for a year or so,
And to be honest it doesn't upset me...
One day there shall be a right time, right place and the right person.
And untill that day i shall enjoy my own company...
Maybe people aren't looking in the right place,
Maybe they're standards are too high,
I know this might sound pathetic,
But i have a friend who seriously has standards too high for himself...
But thats his choice =]
I think of it this way,
I'm not going to settle for anything but happiness,
Why should i argue 24/7,
etc.
When i can be alone and happy?
I don't know :)
Guess you just gotta open up and find the right person.
Nathan.x | |
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| Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 5/6/2008 12:47:09 PM | I must add too that I am trying. As well as going out, trying singles groups and opening up more.Obviously they don't come to you(at least to me they don't.)
But as far as dating websites, sending messages and getting no responses is what's happening with me. Not receiving messages as well. I really don't know what it is that women are looking for.
But getting back to the Format,I on second thought don't think man is meant to be alone. Nor is it good. Even the in the Bible it says that.(Genesis 2:18) | |
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| Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 6/29/2008 10:14:55 AM | Came across this thread and liked some of the responses below:
I don't think some people are "meant" to be alone because that would insinuate destiny, in which I do not believe. I do think some people are better off alone because their personality just does not allow for someone else to be accepted as part of their life
love is the strongest power in the universe. it takes us through a whole gambit of feelings. i for one do not think people are meant to be alone while we are living. i do believe we must have an open heart and compassionate soul in order to benifit from the experience even if pain and suffering are part of it.
I believe some people cope better with being alone then other people. I think everyone would like companionship in one form or another, but it all depends on what you are willing to give up for the companionship. The people who can stand being alone will not give up as much and it makes it harder for them to find their mate.
Way back at the beginning of time God made Eve so that adam wouldn't have to be alone. I don't think we need another person to make us whole but it's nice to have someone to share your hopes and dreams with..
I sure hope I'm not meant to be alone....shudders..that would be a miserable existence for me. I wanna be walking hand-in-hand with her when we're 82...goin' to the movies and still trying to cop a feel.
Yes , i think some people are meant to be alone. Sometimes some people have alot of Responsibilities and they come before friends and relationships. I've never been one too have friends . It's just easier being alone and not having too explain yourself too those. But i do love to help people!
NO I DON'T
I believe that the human animal is a very social creature and intimacy is as much a need as food or shelter is. Keeping a man in solitary confinement is the worst way to punish a human being. Why so many of us are alone is a mystery to me. I've been alone for a good portion of my life and actually liked it that way...for a time.
Thinking that you might be "meant" to be alone is a pretty good way to make that come true though. Meeting people in here is a great start,
NO, but I do believe that some people deserve to be alone. | |
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