| Poke Me & Die
Posted: 4/6/2008 2:38:31 AM | | your nuts. 1 you have the most crazy ass specifications for a guy. 2 are you kidding, you seriously told him he couldn't touch any other non related female... like what he cant hug old friends that just so happen to be female? 3 what did you do that to him, because if it was worse then poking i think u need to just stop talking. and 4 how does the guy even get to the point of rubbing it on your arm, then you pull away, what did you not see it coming? was the lotion already on his hands when he came around the corner ready to rub and u didn't have time to react till he was already starting to put it on you? nuts... | |
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| Poke Me & Die
Posted: 4/6/2008 7:26:22 AM | Why are some people such control freaks ?
What makes you think you have any say in what he does ?
He is a human being and you should start to treat thim that way and with respect instead of trying to own him.
Otherwise you will lose him................ | |
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| Poke Me & Die
Posted: 4/6/2008 7:36:32 AM | | you seem like you have some major issues going on here. you are a control freak who has to have everything your way and he is a jellyfish with no backbone and he needs to get one. i was struck by your last comment that you give and take. where did you give? you demanded that he do something and you expect him to do it. a relationship is a lot more than that and you need to learn a few things about them before you can have a good one. a-do not demand he gives up his freinds just because they are female. if he loves you this should not matter. b-you need to learn how to trust. it seems to me you have a few skeletons in your own closet so you feel that because you can't be trusted you cannot trust another. c-listen to your partner and talk with him. you need communication in order for a relationship to work so open up those lines of communication and you will see a lot of difference in your relationship. | |
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| Poke Me & Die
Posted: 4/7/2008 6:35:10 PM | sw.
this girl cant honestly be for real...can she???
My first thought when I read the OP was this chick was pulling our leg and trying to see what our reaction was when she came across as a freak...but you know something Im thinking shes actually being for real.
OP, people like you cant be helped, and obviously your bf finally figured that out. We as humans talk to other humans...and wow once in a while we may even give a friendly arm touch or *gasp* a hug...lol seriously if you are going to make this such a big deal then you really need to get some help, obviously you have issues with affection and whats normal.
c
you can't live by your own rules, but you expect him to. Usually it's people who cheat who are the most paranoid about getting cheated on. You are not his mother, so stop acting like you are. You two have had a parent/child relationship. The problem with that is the child (your boyfriend) is growing up and rebelling.
Of course you believe in "Give & Take". He did all of the giving and you did all of the taking. That was heaven for you! Be grateful he hasn't grown a pair of b*lls and didn't walk out on you like he should have when you screwed up. What a hypocrite you've been. Change your attitude and give him time to recover from your screw up, or lose your boyfriend. Simple.
man.. this is precious.. i love these fora!
I thought that this was just a joke thread. it couldn't possibly be serious: it has all the shit that men complain about regarding their controlling ex-wife or ex-girl friend. "he used to do everything i said". " he lost friends". and whatever else.
so i thought it was some guy pretending to be a woman complaining about the same stuff guys do about their female partner.
This was done in order to get the women to see just how awful it is when the shoe is on the other foot.
then i figured maybe it's true and this woman has some mental illness.
Several people took the time to go through her previous postings and she did in fact reveal that she is on meds or receiving therapy.
Of course, some people wrote " Give the woman a break as she asked a serious question!"
or some people even thought that Poking was a serious issue and went after that one. lol
Somehow these people who agreed that poking was an issue missed the part where she wrote " he used to do everything i told him to do!" or the " i did something awful and now i am paying for it." comment. and the other crud.
and of course, like several other strange people who post this sort of thing- she disappears.
ONe woman on another thread deleted her profile only to emerge later on as someone else.
REcently one woman on another thread deleted her profile immediately upon being out as a complete fraud by some ambulance driver (?).
It's a little unfair to point out the obvious to someone who is psychotic or has some mental problem .
HOwever, on some part of this site ( or some site ) there is a disclaimer that reads to the effect: this is an open board and you are opening yourself up to comments from anyone and everyone. If you can't handle it, then don't post it.
this sort of thing happens all the time - if this is true.
a previous thread about a woman who was upset with her bf- yet she casually mentioned that she was always late and didn't even try to fix it. She'd apologize yet do it again and again.
8 pages of this stuff. too funny.
i am going with " man masquerading as his loony control freak female partner" as opposed to " crazy female who thought she had him by the balls"
Somewhere, there is a 30-40 year old man who is smiling very broadly at reading all this.
he will have copied and pasted this onto word, printed it out, gave it to his now ex girlfriend, reach into her vanity drawer to retrieve his balls and simply walk out the door. | |
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| Poke Me & Die
Posted: 4/7/2008 8:36:11 PM | It's real simple, if you're with a real man and share that this hurts, he'll stop. Men worth their salt, are not out to hurt the feelings of the woman he loves. It may happen (we're all human), but if you have an adult conversation and he doesn't get it, not sure if he's the one to continue spending time with. The other side is if one of his traits that initially attracted you to him was his charisma, flirtatious or outgoing nature, this is what you're still seeing and perhaps it's the frustration of his not changing to your ideal.  | |
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| Poke Me & Die
Posted: 4/7/2008 8:38:00 PM | | I didn't hardly read any of this thread, but I work with a woman, that her boyfriend, was always doing this type of thing, and the end results was, he got fired, for sexual harrassment. He thought it was all a big joke, she told him not to be doing this, but he did it anyway. He always irritated the crap out of me, and I tried to warn him, that he was not acting in appropriate ways, he'd just laugh, because he thought he was indispensible. He was, got fired, hope he learned his lesson. Doubtful, but hopefully for her, he did. | |
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| Poke Me & Die
Posted: 4/8/2008 11:29:28 AM | I think that she wants what you want except she is being dishonest about it.
You admit upfront what you are seeking and are to the point about it.
She acts as if she doesn't understand what she is doing or how she is acting.
CAn someone be that delusional and able to lie to herself to that degree?
It would seem that the answer is yes.
this is if she is a she. and apparently the consensus is that she is indeed a woman in the profile and not a guy faking it.
I simply can't understand why anyone would post this for one thing.
Secondly to have it go so opposite to what she intended must have been a shock although this is not the most extreme example of a post gone wrong for the OP.
OP or boyfriend or whatever- time for you to take the correct colour pill and see the way things are. | |
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| Poke Me & Die
Posted: 4/8/2008 11:38:38 AM | | It's called respect and he doesn't seem to have it. Is that worth it for you to stay with him? | |
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| Poke Me & Die
Posted: 4/8/2008 12:48:43 PM |
Ok, here's the story.
My BF and I are in an argument over him touching (poking, pat on back) a girl at his work. I told him from day one that I would not like him to touch any girl (except relatives) in any way shape or form.
Our realtionship is on the rocks. He use to do everything I say and anything I say in order to make me happy and not to have distrust in him.
He also lost a couple of "girl" friends because of me.
He thought I would change my outlook, and have trust in him more.
But I did a horrible thing to him and now am paying for it.
He says there's nothing wrong with poking, she's just a friend at work. BUT, I told him to stop, and he refuses cause he thinks I should get over myself and not to worry. "I don't cheat, would never cheat, and don't touch people inappropriately" He says. "I even poke the guys" (but guys are very different; they're guys)
But I still don't like him to do that. I've told him I'd have to leave him if he persists on doing what he's doing, cause he's not respecting me nor my feelings.
He says I don't need respecting anymore after what I've done. "You've done worser things to me, so I've had enough giving you what you want"
That broke my heart.
Just because I've done something (which was the most stupid thing ever), doesn't mean I should get stoned at, and have no respect neither from him.
So now I'm confused. Wheather I should move on. I still love him, but not how he treats me anymore.
I believe in "Give & Take", he's not giving me anything anymore. He's says he given me too much before, and now I should give him everything.
I think not. Give and take works on both ends. I'm not just gonna sit back and let him do everything and I get nothing in return.
Neither of these two people respect each other. It seems that HE DID in the beginning but SHE DIDN'T.
No where does she say that she is worried about him being charged with sexual harassment.
He is not doing what she told him.
There is SO MUCH not being told here that it is unreal. I think people would have to see this relationship in real time to have an understanding. Just reading her previous posts in the history gives a greater degree of insight into her.
That is a sick relationship. It would seem obvious what caused it but it would simply be best for anyone involved in such a thing to do each other a favor and end it.
It doesn't matter if it is poking people. that is not even important. As someone else wrote on a since-deleted ( i think ) thread- the OP sounds like a person for whom improperly folded towels would cause her to flip out. Or cups facing the wrong way after SHE TOLD HIM that it had to be done a certain way.
Do a favor to you both and end the relationship. He is getting back at you for whatever you have done. The worst thing about your part in this is that you may not have fully appreciated just how awful you treated him. Whatever the terrible thing was that you did, may not have been as bad as your day to day treatment of /restriction on this guy. And you didn't notice. or didn't care.
get some help locally. | |
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| Poke Me & Die
Posted: 4/10/2008 12:17:41 PM | Which issue is best to discuss: or what is the issue anyway?
1. take the OP post as something to discuss on its own merit, regardless of anything she reveals?
2. whether poking is the topic and if it is tantamount to sexual harassment?
3. The boyfriend's alleged lack of respect towards the g/f.
We shouldn't discuss whether her argument is valid, only the truth of her statements.
1. He is no longer doing what you tell him to do. The only thing to do now is get rid of him and find another man who will do exactly what you tell him. I will add that you appear to be a wonderful person, thoughtful and considerate and you deserve your own happiness, regardless of what happens to anyone else in your pursuit of said happiness.
2. Sure, a handshake is bad enough for a girl to see her boyfriend perform, but a poke is just another level altogether. Poking is a 'gateway" behaviour, sure as cannabis leads to cocaine, poking will lead to back rubs then sex in the janitor closet.
Poking is sexual harassment whether the recipient is offended or not.
EVen consensual Poking leads to a caustic sexually charged environment where those people NOT BEING POKED "feel " left out. They 'feel' the sexual tension and it is stifling. Poking is exactly the same as putting up naked pictures of people in the workplace. Poking, unless everyone is poked, leads people to 'feeling' that they are not worthy of being poked. It leads to a shame spiral.. And who knows where that may take them.
So all handshaking, poking, cheek kissing, smiling, saying hello, the 'thumbs up', nodding in your direction is verbotin! Gone. ANd you certainly can't clutch the person's arm while you shake her/his hand.
3. It doesn't matter what you did to him in the past, nothing matters actually as it is in the past and people are not allowed to talk about things that happened in the past. AS past behaviour doesn't indicate anything about the person , let alone be a predictor for future behaviour. And it certainly doesn't give any insight into the person's mind.
He doesn't respect you. GEt rid of him. Find yourself another one. There are all kinds of men just like your previous man.
YOu asked for advice and this is what you should do.
poking is bad.
you told him not to do it.
it doesn't matter what he thinks.
it only matters what you think.
he disobeyed and now must be punished.
deprive him of the pleasure of your company.
That will teach him to disregard your feelings.. | |
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| Poke Me & Die
Posted: 4/10/2008 12:23:52 PM | You still have a lot of maturing to do....life experience will help you with that. Just wait long enough and this man will move on to other women that have grown up and matured...........Blue | |
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| Poke Me & Die
Posted: 4/10/2008 12:34:55 PM | What a very disrespectful partner you have been.
I'd have left you long ago. | |
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| Poke Me & Die
Posted: 4/10/2008 5:50:59 PM | People, people, people... easy now..
the 4th topic would be to discuss the assumed qualities of the Original Person who started the thread.
These qualities are assumed as we only have her own words to use to base our opinions. and we know how much those are worth.
So here are the topics that can be gleaned from the post.
1. He no longer does what she tells him to do: What does she do now?
2 poking: Good BAd or Ugly, sexual harassment or just a poke? Discuss aspects of poking.
3. his lack of respect towards her for poking when told not to poke. What does she do now?
4. assumed/ inferred personality qualities of the OP.
Most seem intent on discussing number 4. But we are to assume that she has every right to believe the things she does and act the way she did/does.
But that is off topic anyway.
Speaking of which: what happened to that post citing the legal precedent of sexual harassment? there is at least 2 posts missing. oh well.. into the ether..
now back to our regularly scheduled program... | |
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| Poke Me & Die
Posted: 4/22/2008 12:35:24 AM | i think you both need some time apart , as your relationship will only continue to go down hill , it sounds to me more like a parent- child relationship, without knowing your past history its difficult to know were these hugely strong feelings and your blinkered view of a relationship come from ! whats your parents relationship like ? does your mum give the orders and dad follows ? if so you must understand , that may work for them , but its not a blueprint for most relationships in life ! people must be allowed to be there own person , and be respected for that ! are you worried that if he interacts with females at work he may go off with them ? have you been cheated on before ? this relationship is not healthy for either of you at the moment , if you do love each other and both want to save this relationship then i suggest you track down a relationship counsellor and book an appointment, either together or individually ! if there's still love between you then any think is possible , good luck , tony x  | |
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| Poke Me & Die
Posted: 4/22/2008 8:29:33 AM | No offense, but good for him. It sounds like he was letting you walk all over him initially, and it took you screwing up for him to finally grow a spine.
That's horrible that he allowed himself to lose female friends because of a significant other.
He shouldn't be acting like you should give him everything, but that's actually healthy that he won't just do whatever you want him to do. | |
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| Poke Me & Die
Posted: 4/22/2008 8:51:08 AM | I woulda have told you to hit the bricks a LONGGGGGGGGGGGGGG TIMEEEEEEEEEE AGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
you are going to find yourself very alone treating men this way. he put up with you for long enough in his mind.
Possessive, controlling and ultimately disrespecting him is only going to force him away the same way it would if a man were to do it to a woman. you say you beleive in give and take, you are dillusional. I can already see, through past experiences of myown that you try to "stack the deck" in your favour each time the hands are even. been there, done that.
feeling disrespected? GOOD! don't disrespect him. what you stated here alone was flagrant disrespect. you don't need help from us, you need help from a professional.
I don't mean to be particularlly nasty to you, but you need a serious wakeup call sweety.
I can say that theres probably a good chance you can't fix what you've done to him. if you truely love him, you'd better roll out the red carpet and start kissin major ass. I'm not saying to be a doormat, but he's gonna test you from now on, i will bet on that.
disrespect can kill a relationship soo fast, you have no idea, but i think you are finding out first hand now. | |
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| Poke Me & Die
Posted: 4/22/2008 10:23:06 AM | This scenario is somewhat analygous to the story told in "The Boy Who Cried Wolf". There the kid lost credibility in his village and was eaten by a wolf. In the OP's scenario, she chose a boyfriend, battle-axed him, he chose to overlook it at first, then he took a stand when she objected to his "touchy-feely" behavior with an opposite sex co-worker.
The relationship is doomed. The comment about "give & take" was hilarity at its purest!  | |
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| Poke Me & Die
Posted: 4/22/2008 3:04:28 PM | | I was goint to reply to this but post no.2 says everything. | |
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| Poke Me & Die
Posted: 4/22/2008 8:56:26 PM |
Speaking of which: what happened to that post citing the legal precedent of sexual harassment? there is at least 2 posts missing. oh well.. into the ether..
I know, isn't that weird? I've also noticed the arrangement of posts have been repositioned | |
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| Poke Me & Die
Posted: 6/14/2009 7:49:36 AM | | Man, you are control freak. I use to be married to a woman like that and I mean "use to". In a relationship, there is NO control . And that crap about "do everything I say and anything I say to make me happy " is a bunch of crap. You REALLY need to grow up. | |
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| Poke Me & Die
Posted: 6/14/2009 9:13:20 AM | since all this happend last yr I will assume (if it is not a joke) that boyfriend is LONG GONE-- & good for him. I have family that has controlling issues & believe me its not pretty.
OP needs to grow up after all she is 23 yo on her profile-- but maybe Mommy & Daddy gave her EVERYTHING every time she threw a tantrum & that is why she is like this however there is no excuse for behavior like this at ANY AGE.
hopefully she gets what she deserves; what goes around, comes around
edit: here is what she says about herself on her profile:
I am a very sensitive, honest, truthful, intelligent, loving, generous, kind, quiet, shy, respectful, independent, and unique person with a heart of gold>
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KIND- Puleze!
quiet & shy?? dont think so
RESPECTFUL? NOT!! | |
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