| POF has changed how I view dating.
Posted: 4/15/2008 5:10:06 PM | | Excellent comment nevdean, Been here, done the same and tried them all and for what a few replies? But hey! It's a free site so it's not like their out any money when they don't get what they paid for. So think of it as cheap entertainment, maybe not good but cheap so have fun with it! | |
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| POF has changed how I view dating.
Posted: 4/16/2008 5:15:48 PM | Hi Merry,
Try this on for size......
If a guy asks you out on a date... go... when the bill come offer to pay your share... any respectable male will say "no its ok I've got it"..... when you go out on date #2 you pay..... insist on it (when the bill arrives)..... if he wrestles the waiter to the ground forcing him to take his money (not yours) then its ok to let the man pay the bill.....
I like it when a woman offers to pay once in a while as it makes me feel she is at least thinking about "not" taking advantage of me. Whether or not I let her pay is another story...... sometimes yes & sometimes no it all depends.....
How has going out for dinner with another human being gotten so damn complicated....???
If a guy offers to buy you a drink let him...... unless you honestly feel you don't wish to have a conversation with him. When the drinks are finished, and you don't wish to talk any more, don't accept another. If you do wish to talk some more you pay for the next round....... I buy, you buy, I buy, you buy....... just like the boys do at the pub.... easy.
Works for me.... | |
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| POF has changed how I view dating.
Posted: 4/16/2008 6:00:52 PM | Nevdean, know what you mean......It's interesting just how interesting this site is. I've changed profiles about 4 different times....each time a different crew shows up. I sometimes think that the site should have a bold print heading................................FOR ENTERTAINMENT ONLY!
Have a nice day. | |
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| POF has changed how I view dating.
Posted: 4/16/2008 6:20:54 PM | Right you are Nevdean!
I was contacted by a fellow from south of the border, wanted to get to know me better. (Mistakenly, I presumed he had read my profile). Since I mentioned an interest in politics, among many other things, and American politics is dominating the media at the moment, I said "ok, first question, Republican or Democrat?" After several days of silence I got a one word response "republican." I answered that I wasn't sure how to respond to his one-word missive, my question was meant to start a conversation between two people who don't know each other but have expressed some similar interests, and a one-word answer is a conversation breaker no matter what the topic is. He responded that he wasn't on here looking for a political pen pal and if I had read his profile I would know that he was looking for a long term serious relationship.
I said I would leave him to find someone closer to his own temperament and haven't heard from him again. But yeah, talk about serious baggage! | |
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| POF has changed how I view dating.
Posted: 4/16/2008 6:23:06 PM | | and while I'm at it, let me natter about a little pet peeve. Guys, when I send you an email with several questions, just ANSWERING the question does not constitute a conversation. You have to infill with observations of your own, or questions of your own. If you simply answer all my questions dutifully, you've left me absolutely no place to go but to send you a new list of questions and I'm not going to. Remember the game, tag - you're it? Well, after I send the questions, You're It! Now the conversational ball is in your court. | |
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| POF has changed how I view dating.
Posted: 4/16/2008 6:52:53 PM | Timing means a lot. At least I think so.
I understand what you are saying. This dovetails with what others, including Nevdean have said. Not trying to hijack a thread, but I can see why anyone would feel frustrated at the whole thing. In fact, I'll probably be leaving here shortly after this post. Somehow the real world is less difficult. You were looking for a special someone. I have no doubt you will find him.
Regards | |
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| POF has changed how I view dating.
Posted: 4/16/2008 8:10:23 PM | Merry, I'm wondering if there isn't a middle path.
If you accept all the offers of dates, you get propositioned for sex, a deal-breaker.
If you only accept dates from those who you could imagine sex with, you end up rarely dating at all.
Where's the middle? I see other women's profiles which clearly state what a man should expect after a first date. Or insist on going dutch when dating, but make that clear while still at the emailing stage.
If dating were easy, we'd all be doing it. Oh, wait a minute. We are all doing it, so why isn't it easy? | |
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| POF has changed how I view dating.
Posted: 4/16/2008 8:37:50 PM | How POF has changed my view on dating?...First, I love the forums , ok...Ill give my opinion and this is my opinion only... Lately I wonder , "What in the heck am I doing here"?...I read the misplaced, twisted and wretched opinions (and even participate in) and find myself saying "wow.."It becomes exhausting jus reading some of the most whacked out responses to some of these threads"...
the forums are entertaining as heck...Ive had woman tell me ,they read my responses to a few of the threads...I shutter at some of my own responses (most are done with a lot of humor)..
My view on dating hasnt changed at all...My view on internet dating has...I wonder if the bad, sick and delusional, " really do gravitate towards these site"...Im saying all this with a smile on my face and wondering...
You all have a great nite... | |
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| POF has changed how I view dating.
Posted: 4/17/2008 12:00:30 AM |
I went on a total of 5 dates last year. Out of the 5, it was very evident that 4 out of the five were working every angle they could to get me back to their place and were physically forward.
But a dog is a dog, and I don`t think it is going to matter if you pick up the check or not. They probably think "cool, she pays her own way, Now I will jump her. . .
I went out on a first date with an IT professional last year. We were enjoying each other's company, but it WAS our first night out together. She really surprised me by taking me back to her place and showing me around her entire house, but gave me no clue she was hoping to "get lucky". All she would have needed to do was touch me on the arm, or snuggle up against me. Bottom line: I found out later that she was hoping I would be a "dog", and jump her that night.
Point: One woman's Dog is another woman's Prince. So what is a guy supposed to do in a society where one woman wants her date to take her home and strip her, and the next thinks only dirt bags are sexually aggressive?
In a society where acceptable social behavior covers the entire spectrum from: (1) get in bed immediately, to (2) wait until 6 months (or years) of dating, people looking for a relationship have to give others a lot of room for different value systems. Too many people have the common attitude that their belief system is the the only justified attitude, and if the other person doesn't see it that way then they are just looking for "easy sex", or are "hung up and prudish".
I agree with the1youarelooking4's comment:
Everyone moves at different speeds,you maybe haven`t found your match yet! | |
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| POF has changed how I view dating.
Posted: 4/17/2008 12:04:00 PM | | I believe what you are saying, has much insight....Unfortuneately men dont have this experience so the understanding is not present.....I would like the "guidelines" to be clarified so everyone can be on the same page. It would make life so much easier. | |
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| POF has changed how I view dating.
Posted: 4/17/2008 9:48:14 PM | I am vibin what your puttin down
You are supposed to read her mind
That way if(when)she changes her mind she did not initiate ANYTHING and YOU are a pig...ROTFLMAO.
It is to the point we men need a manual "The signals women give and what they mean"(you would get a hernia just from picking it up)
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| POF has changed how I view dating.
Posted: 4/17/2008 9:52:59 PM | 1blondguy
I am vibin what your puttin down
You are supposed to read her mind
That way if(when)she changes her mind she did not initiate ANYTHING and YOU are a pig...ROTFLMAO.
It is to the point we men need a manual "The signals women give and what they mean"(you would get a hernia just from picking it up)
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| POF has changed how I view dating.
Posted: 4/17/2008 10:15:17 PM |
I make my decision based on looking at him and thinking about having sex with him soon. If the answer is "probably not or not sure at this point" I turn down the date, to be politically correct.
I had to read this 3X. Are you for real?
Sounds like you're setting yourself up to be used and for a string of one night stands. If that is consistent with what your relationship goals are, then go for it. If you're looking for marriage and commitment, good luck trying to find it that way. | |
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| POF has changed how I view dating.
Posted: 4/17/2008 11:42:16 PM | That was a cynical response to all of the lovely male fishies who kind of expect things
to progress on the first date. It was my vague attempt at humor toward guys on here that use POF for one night stands and expect them. Guess I should have put a laughing emoticon with it.
Not exactly what I am looking for. It is called a snyde sense of humor. | |
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| POF has changed how I view dating.
Posted: 4/18/2008 6:30:22 AM | Oh dear...sorry, I thought you were in earnest. That's why I read it over and over. I thought I am not getting something here.
Okay now I gotcha. Sorry about that.  | |
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