| is it shy or disinterest?
Posted: 4/1/2008 12:56:47 AM | | thx, I totally get what you're saying. Hiding behind a profile is much easier. What's up w/ guys not being honest? I know some gals do it too. sigh! coward? oh yea, I'm all to familiar with that one! | |
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| is it shy or disinterest?
Posted: 4/1/2008 4:02:23 AM | Online dating is different that is for sure....I guess people, men and women, find it easier to just leave things hanging when it comes to communicating with others online.
I really do believe if a guy (or girl) is seriously interested in you then it will shine through....I certainly communicate openly as much as I possibly can.
OP: I think if he is seriously interested he will ask you out again....if he does not then you have nothing to lose by just blankly asking him....all that will happen is he will show you in actions or words that he is just not interested then you can let it go and move on....NEXT!
1. On my profile I add a note that if you have added me to your favorites list and I have not deleted it that means I would be interested in talking to you. If I am not at all interested in your profile I will delete it (how much more clear can that be).
2. I answer emails with the men who I am interested in talking with. I make it clear that I am interested in meeting face-to-face not just IMing and emailing into Never Never Land. Of course, emailing for a bit is fine to be sure that is what you want to do. But I think meeting in person is the best way to gauge a person. I reply once..... if they do not email me back I just leave it.
3. I think relationships are like a ping pong ball, if one person has to do all the work and contacting and intiating then something is 'off'....let it go.
4. If I meet them and I am not interested in them, I will email them the next day and tell them so. I always email back the next day and say 'thank you, but not interested' or 'thank you, I enjoyed meeting you' that way if they are interested in seeing me again the ball is in their court and they can reciprocate and let me know.
5. If they have not asked me out again within a week and I was interested in getting to know them better....I will shoot a quick email asking if they would like to meet again...if they do not respond (and leave it hanging)....I let it go and leave it. The ball is in their court either way.
6. If I add people to my favorites list, I will email them letting them know I liked their profile and if they are interested in talking let me know, if not I wish them luck in their search. If they do not contact me within two weeks, I delete them.....I figure....NEXT!
We are on a dating site, where is the guide for online dating etiquette? Maybe some people are not really serious about this dating to begin with but just possibly on here for some thrills, which is fine, to each their own. That is why I have clear guidlines for myself while doing this dating, it weeds out and eliminates the ones who are not really serious and there is no game playing at all. This is just how I operate, it makes it easier an simpler for me.
How difficult can this be really....you are either interested in someone or you are not...really we are just dating and there should be no real pressure....
Just my 2 cents | |
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| is it shy or disinterest?
Posted: 4/1/2008 4:42:02 AM | It sounds to me as if he isn't ready to invest in only one woman...but on the other hand knows you're nice, so doesn't want to come out and say anything negative. Men are such cowards!! If I were you I would plan dates with other people and not think or worry too much about this one!! Maybe when he sees your losing interest in him, he'll smarten up!!!
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| is it shy or disinterest?
Posted: 4/1/2008 4:52:59 AM | I think he just found someone he was more interested in, and you shouldn't wait or wonder why.
Wait instead for someone else to come along if you're not the type to initiate contact, and get yourself busy doing other things in the meantime. | |
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| is it shy or disinterest?
Posted: 4/1/2008 2:49:30 PM | | This has happened w/ a couple guys, not just one. Not too good for the ego!! All the compliments, emails, phone calls, IM's...and still no action. Yes, of course I'll move on. I already have. I do have a life, and don't sit by the computer/phone waiting. I'm worth more than that. Thanks for teh advice. It sure helps! | |
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| is it shy or disinterest?
Posted: 4/1/2008 3:18:50 PM | Msg 1,
Sometimes it's just timing, or technology.
I remember, a long time ago, when e-mail was still a novelty, I was in school and exchanging naughty correspondences with someone who I had met on a trip. It was reading week or something, and school was out for about a week, and I didn't have access to e-mail at home. After a week, when I got back to school, there were a bunch of e-mails in my inbox, each progressively more anxious, asking me why I wasn't responding, until finally, I was dumped in the last e-mail. That was an early lesson for me in e-mail etiquette 101: never leave a woman hanging. | |
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| is it shy or disinterest?
Posted: 4/4/2008 7:21:45 AM | Dont listen to the guy who said you shoulda had sex on the first date - my goodness - that is just stupid - a good guy wants to wait if he is truly interested...if he isnt a good guy or if he's truly not interested you do not want him anyways!
This is just like school - ignore him - live your life without him - if he is truly interested he's gonna wanna know why you are not chasing him - the man likes to do the chasing anyway - so guess what - he will start chasing you! Be unavailable a few times - if he's really interested he will be afraid to lose you and he will make himself really available!
TRUST ME!!! | |
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| is it shy or disinterest?
Posted: 4/4/2008 9:07:41 AM | some guys have little brains.this means that there is just not enough space for things like common decency and ettiquette.
some guys have medium sized brains so struggle with other peoples feelings.
some guys have big brains and can cope with all of lifes foibles,so always go for guys with big brains.
does this help? | |
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| is it shy or disinterest?
Posted: 4/4/2008 9:15:00 AM |
When they only respond to you intermittently, it's because they only talk to you when they're bored and don't have anyone else they're interested in at the moment but it does not in any way mean they're really interested in you.
Very true^^ and when they say "where have you been!!", its bull to be honest they're just trying to put YOU on the backfoot dont fall for it, you seem like a very nice lady.
I dont chase/email/IM first if they dont come to me i just assume theyre not interested and move on... i make it plain im very old fashioned in that respect so they're aware from the off that they need to contact me and if they dont? i dont contact them or whine about it i just smile and move on. :) | |
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