| Do women like to be seen as sex objects or people?
Posted: 4/1/2008 9:01:32 AM | The OP asks a very valid question.
Sure he maybe confusing one woman's beliefs with another woman's contradictory actions. But don't jump on a man for not being clear on contradicting female behavior. The only way to clarity is ask questions and talk right?
Nobody is placing value judgements, they just want to understand why they hear one thing and see another. | |
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| Do women like to be seen as sex objects or people?
Posted: 4/1/2008 9:07:38 AM |
why is a woman presumed to be easy or a whore the moment that sexual energy is projected? you guys really need to get your heads out of your asses and start to see the whole picture and not label women as one or the other. this whole thread is about your issues (and assumptions), not ours.
Honestly, I think you are the one projecting the Virgin/Whore dichotomy on to the question.
So don't be so quick to accuse others of making presumptions and denigrating them for it, when you are doing the exact same thing. | |
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| Do women like to be seen as sex objects or people?
Posted: 4/1/2008 10:22:18 AM | | I want to be seen as both, just depends on by who and what the situation is.. if I send you a dirty pic I want you to see me as a sex object at that time but if Im trying to hold an actual conversation with you then I dont want you to be trying to turn it into something about sex.. and just an fyi.. if a woman happens to send you a pic of herself naked or scantily clad.. DO NOT show it to your friends.. its for you, not for everyone | |
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| Do women like to be seen as sex objects or people?
Posted: 4/1/2008 11:56:55 AM | | There's been some interesting comments.....more than I expected. Sure you can be both.....there's a time and place for both. What I still don't understand how a guy isn't supposed to think of women in a sexual way when they are blatantly engagin' in actvities that have a sexual overtone. IE. dirty dancin' with a guy you just met at the bar, passin' naked pics via email or makin' little effort to conceal your bodyparts/underwear. Sure I looked....I'm a single guy so why wouldn't I? Just don't expect me to respect her if I was ever to meet her. It's neither of my buddies' girlfriends. As far as I know she's just some girl that one of them worked with for the summer and was in the same social circle. I made the distinction in my opening post that if you're doin it for or sendin' it too your s/o other then that's fine and it should remain between the two of you but if you're just some girl who's sendin' pics to guys, probably just to get their attention, then showin' the pics to your buddies is fair game. | |
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| Do women like to be seen as sex objects or people?
Posted: 4/1/2008 12:30:58 PM | ^^^ why shouldn't you respect her?
odds are she didn't know your buddy was going to share those intimate pictures with every guy he knew. she was trying to attract HIM with those pics, not provide a free peep show to you...frankly, perhaps your friend is the one who doesn't deserve your respect since he's more than happy to share personal pics of someone without their permission. turn the judgement around and ask yourself why that's okay?
i'm just disappointed that there seems to be such a double standard when it comes to the expression of female sexuality. how can a guy be turned on by and repulsed by the same qualities simultaneously? don't you see the contradiction? | |
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| Do women like to be seen as sex objects or people?
Posted: 4/1/2008 2:24:04 PM | Having two conflicting feelings or desires at the same time. Is there a term for that? It seems pretty much that it's a big part of being human, male or female.
There are people who get off on fantasizing about or roleplaying certain secenarios that they would never carry out in real life. There are women for whom being called a slut in the bedroom is a powerful aphrodisiac, but who would pop you in the nose if you called her tha on the street.
In some ways, its the conflict of feelings and desires that makes it all so exciting. <img src=http://www.plentyoffish.com/smiles/icon_201.gif border=0> | |
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| Do women like to be seen as sex objects or people?
Posted: 4/1/2008 3:47:32 PM | > What I still don't understand how a guy isn't supposed to think of women in a sexual way...
I think maybe the problem is feminism showed up a few decades back to point the evil finger of shame at men and put the kibosh on "the male gaze", "men objectifying women", and all the other nonsense they've come up with. In many ways they effectively criminalized normal male behavior, for men being interested in (and maybe even trying to have relationships with) women. As men predictably responded by backing off, regular women's only response has been of the more-of-the-same variety: to try and sucker in as many men as possible by upping the lure ante by showing yet more skin. It's difficult to believe that they are so stupid they have no idea what they're trying to do, even if it seems like they're throwing around their female power pointlessly.
So the answer to your query is "you're not". As much as they might have liked to, feminism hasn't been able to totally outlaw thinking.
> then showin' the pics to your buddies is fair game.
Of course. Otherwise they'd think you were just blowin' smoke. | |
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| Do women like to be seen as sex objects or people?
Posted: 4/1/2008 4:40:03 PM | Hey Cowboy... nice to see ya.. 
You have told me this, ok.. similar but not quite the exact same, for how long now?
IMO it goes along with the people here (I won't be gender specific because BOTH genders engage in this!!) who post the more explicit pics in their profiles, or post explicit responses to threads (something I can sometimes be guilty of myself) and then get upset when they receive messages that are sexually explicit.
I had a discussion with someone about a year ago regarding naked pics. Yes, I have some. Yes, I've sent them out (in the past). No, I'm not sending them to you (so don't bother messaging me and asking. Thanks.). This man got very upset with me because I wouldn't send him the pics when he knew that I had sent them to others. My reasoning was this. People that I basically had no intention of meeting, or lived far away, got the pics with little trouble. People that were local or that I had an interest in, could possibly meet didn't get the pics. He said that didn't make any sense. Keep in mind, this is a man I was interested in meeting. He got the pics, and we have never met. Probably won't ever meet considering several factors now.
Now.. Cowboy... aren't you being a smidge hypocritical?? I mean.. considering everything I know about you darling.. | |
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| Do women like to be seen as sex objects or people?
Posted: 4/1/2008 8:01:13 PM | I realized that I was pissed off! Pissed off at the fact that women expect men to not see them as sex objects but this is exactly the type of activity that instigates that type of attitude where men see women as sex objects before they see them as people. Gawd, it doesn't take much to piss you off does it?
Maybe, rather than getting angry about nothing, you should stop and realise, that the world is full of women with different personalities. Some don't want to be seen as sex objects. But some do.
Maybe the women sending naked pics of themselves do want to be seen as sex objects?
and
maybe the women, who don't want men to see them as sex objects, are not the ones sending naked pics to your buddies? | |
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| Do women like to be seen as sex objects or people?
Posted: 4/1/2008 8:29:34 PM | | I'm trying to figure out why you can't respect a woman who is a sexual creature. Yep. I wan't my cake and want to eat it to....... you know what???? The men who deserve to be in my life are multidimensional enough to see me both ways. It's one of the things that seperate the good ones from the ones I don't have time for in my life. | |
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| Do women like to be seen as sex objects or people?
Posted: 4/1/2008 8:54:59 PM | Re the OPost
IMO a woman or man in a naked or semi nude or scantly or "provocatively" dressed photo or presence (in the streets or anywhere) does not imply she or he is or wants to be seen as a "sex object". It is some "recipients"/viewers who may perceive her/him as such, depending on the mindset that they have re sex and sexuality. Ie if a man thinks that his inserting his organ into a woman's make her a object or a woman's idea of sex is using/treating a man's organ as a "live dildo" ("HOB", human operated BF), then she/he is bound to see "sex objects" where other men and women, with a different mindset re sexuality see "a sexually attractive human being".
Plus women or men who have nothing going for them (or in their profiles) other than sensuality, ie absence of personality, thoughts, ideas, etc, would have IMO more tendency to be seen as merely "sexual beings" instead of "full spectrum" humans. | |
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| Do women like to be seen as sex objects or people?
Posted: 4/1/2008 9:01:37 PM | | Why does being seen as a sexual being necessitate being seen as a sex "object?" Why can't you be aroused by a stranger woman, AND view her as a well-rounded person that deserves respect? This dichotomy is so odd to me. | |
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| Do women like to be seen as sex objects or people?
Posted: 4/1/2008 9:11:58 PM |
I think you are trying to be more intelligent about the situation then is necessary. Person A has a belief. Person B does an action. Person A's belief causes a reaction. Simple.
Well Person C only cares about Person B because B likes action. However if Person A changes their beliefs, Person A can join too.
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| Do women like to be seen as sex objects or people?
Posted: 4/1/2008 10:09:15 PM | Ok let me ask ya'll this question then:
What do you think she was trying to accomplish or convey by sendin' that pic?
It's not that I can't respect a woman who is a sexual creature cause we're all sexual beings. Where would the human race be without sex/procreation? What I have trouble respecting is a woman who puts out naked pics of herself to a guy she's not in a relationship with.
BTW I'm usin' the head on top of my shoulders. | |
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| Do women like to be seen as sex objects or people?
Posted: 4/1/2008 10:29:45 PM | To tease, to entice, to flirt, to have fun.... all of those things are things that women do
Fair enough but it just seems a tad much to me, to be doin' that, for those reasons. | |
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| Do women like to be seen as sex objects or people?
Posted: 4/1/2008 10:41:27 PM |
You want to be seen as both? But isn't that like havin your cake and eatin' it too and you know you can't have both. Do you really think sendin' naked pics of yourself to a guy you hardly know is demonstrating your sex appeal?
what's the use in having your cake,if you can't eat it??? | |
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| Do women like to be seen as sex objects or people?
Posted: 4/1/2008 10:43:32 PM | well that girl's pics succeeded in getting your buddy's attention...and apparently the attention of all the other guys he showed the pics to. basically a woman will use flirtation, personality, body language, and sexuality to attract a guy's attention. i'm sure there was more dialogue involved than her simply saying "hey, here's my pic". suggestive pics can be part of foreplay, a bit of temptation. i have a few revealing pics of myself as well, nothing fully nude, but a bit of allure...if i'm interested in a guy, i'll use my assets (and that includes the physical ones). why should doing so make me less of a person or less deserving of "respect" than any other woman?
heck, to turn it around...i can't even begin to tell you how many guys have sent c0ckshots or offered to webcam for me (and unlike myself, they show EVERYTHING)...guys are just as guilty of using sexuality to sell themselves to the opposite sex. does it mean that i disrespect them? how i feel or the degree of my attraction is based on all his qualities in combination rather than a narrowly focused, one-dimensional viewpoint. | |
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| Do women like to be seen as sex objects or people?
Posted: 4/1/2008 10:57:49 PM |
Ok let me ask ya'll this question then:
What do you think she was trying to accomplish or convey by sendin' that pic?
She wanted his attention. The same as women who go out wearing very low cut blouses and very short skirts.Or the exposed thongs. They WANT you to look. It's all about ATTENTION. | |
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| Do women like to be seen as sex objects or people?
Posted: 4/1/2008 11:40:35 PM | Sending naked pictures is a pretty skanky thing to do, in my opinion.
However, in response to your basic question, I definitely think that women generally do want to be viewed as both a sex object and as an intelligent person. So do many guys, so I don't see what's surprising about it.
In my opinion, in an ideal relationship, both the man and the woman would both be intensely intellectually and sexually attracted to each other. | |
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| Do women like to be seen as sex objects or people?
Posted: 4/2/2008 12:27:40 AM | I think maybe the problem is feminism showed up a few decades back to point the evil finger of shame at men and put the kibosh on "the male gaze", "men objectifying women", and all the other nonsense they've come up with. In many ways they effectively criminalized normal male behavior, for men being interested in (and maybe even trying to have relationships with) women.
Good point, I think this is the underlying issue.
To the consensus in the thread, of course women want to be seen as both, in the right moment of course. Who wouldn't?
But I think a lot of men will wonder, if women are going to call me a pervert, give me dirty looks and otherwise make me feel "bad" for looking. If the male gender is so guilty and evil for making women feel like sex objects, then why are there so many women wearing next to nothing and shoving it in my face?
The reality is that blame and shame message was wrong. We should all embrace who we are and enjoy it. | |
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