| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/1/2008 11:58:57 AM |
With a friend like this, who needs enemies? This just isn't done....period. 'Nuff said.
I agree with this. I would never date a friend's ex.. ESPECIALLY after they'd only been broken up a week. She was just waiting in the wings for her chance. She had feelings for him all along, no matter what she said to you. I wouldn't doubt that she put the moves on your b/f while you were dating and they decided he should break up with you, wait a week, then start dating (to make it look respectable). But, really, with the secrecy, there was no respectability to it.
Forget both of them. Neither is worth having or worrying about.
Krys | |
|
| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/1/2008 12:04:42 PM | | Yes, I would agree, she could have said something to you, but maybe she is too much of a coward, either way, you're better off with a new friend, and a new boyfriend. | |
|
| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/1/2008 12:20:52 PM | Ahhhhh the fundamentals of Youthful Girl Politics... always hated that cr*p...hehehe. Can't say I've ever had much interest in friends ex's for two reasons: 1) usually being the friend you know why they're ex's and there is usually a good reason, & 2) I really have no interest in dating someone my friend would know 'that' much about! Talk about creepy! lol. And I usually don't date my ex's friends, well, I did once, when I was 19, then I married him.
I agree with Irish Eyez, let it go...your friend sounds like a hypocrite because she wouldn't tolerate you dating one of her ex's, yet here she is with yours! (Sounds like my ex-bff. She never dated any of my ex's, but she sure tried! Fortunately the ex's had more respect for me than that...or maybe they just never let me find out...lol...) Besides, she already picked him over you anyway.
The best revenge is living your life, being happy and loving who you are! | |
|
| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/1/2008 12:25:42 PM | | Is that a true friend? Isn't there some 6nwritten code about the vulgarity in such an action of dating a BFFs ex? Seems like your solution is pretty self explanatory. | |
|
| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/1/2008 12:54:41 PM | When I was 22 I had a chance to date someone who was pretty famous at the time & she just happened to be good friends with my best friend. The only kicker was that my best friend was in love with her. She told me that she liked me & that we should go out. I held back some serious temptation & decided not to date her. My best friend had already done so much for me & I would never want to hurt him. We are still the best of friends to this day & I am happy for the decision I made. I guess my way of thinking is considered old fashioned but I have felt the pain & decided a long time ago to never duplicate any of the things that people have done to me. I always seem to come away from a situation bigger & better. Consider this a test to your moral & belief system & then handle it accordingly in a way that brings you the best answer to your question: What is a best friend? After you have pondered & solidified the best answer to heal your soul, take appropriate action & move forward.
Bless the real friends who are always loyal in every way,
J | |
|
| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/1/2008 1:13:58 PM | | Thank you so much dvotd that is very true, at one time i did think she was a true friend i have been there so much for her when she needed me......people use to call us the three musketeers she is in one of my pics on my profile the one where i have dark hair....I just hate the factthat I know I lost a friend and I know it was my choice but how am I suppose to trust her now | |
|
| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/1/2008 1:34:25 PM |
she said while him and I were dating she didn't have feelings for him.....see I think just the person I am I would NEVER go after my best friends boyfriend out of respect.......I told her to put herself in my shoes and if I dated one of her ex's how would she feel she said she would prob kill me.... I gave her the option him or me and she picked him!!!
I had a best friends girl friend break up with him and then called me wanting to go out with me. I knew her well through him and I liked her and she go to know me really well while she was with him so much she said she wanted to marry me. But your right, out of respect for my friend I told her I could never go out with her, it wouldn't be right to him.
On the other hand some people will say maybe they were meant for each other and if they are happy then be happy for them. I guess thats a choice you have to make weather you can be happy for her and still be friends or dump her as a freind | |
|
| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/1/2008 1:44:18 PM | | Sweetie, guys will come and go but girlfriends are supposed to be forever. If it were me, I would feel very betrayed and would be leery of trusting her around my next boyfriend! Reserve your friendship for those who are deserving of it. | |
|
| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/1/2008 2:04:48 PM | I find that kind of hard to believe that your friend would wait until you are dont with your ex and then date him. You need to really figure out your relationship with your friend and her true charateristic.
But if you are ok with them dating then tell her that it makes you very uncomfortable to hear about them two together.
Overall, I think the first thing you need to do is go out with your friend and get to the bottom of it all! | |
|
| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/1/2008 4:02:02 PM | a few years ago a couple i knew thru acquaintance had broken up. the guys best friend had been in love with this girl forever - but had never said anything out of respect for his friend. a few weeks after the break up, the best friend talked to the guy, then he and the girl started a relationship. i think they were the ones meant to be. they are getting married this august. 
it sucks sometimes when these things happen, but i think all in all...people can't help who they fall for. BUT - they can control their actions out of respect. your friend should've talked with you first. | |
|
| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/1/2008 4:09:42 PM | Forever,
That happened to me a couple of times,
after the breakup, her best? friend approached me.
I figured it was kind of curiosity, like a learning
venture, but then friends do have similar tastes!
[Similar problems that bind...too!] | |
|
| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/1/2008 4:46:30 PM | Sounds to me like you know the answer already.
If this person is a friend then friends dont go out with each others ex's full stop. My best friend was married to a hotty. Divorced, several years later I meet him. Did I go for it no! Why? Cos there's plenty of hottys in the world thats why. Lots of other hims. I dont want my friends cast offs cos if she got rid then in my book she must be right of to of. I dont need to go where my friend has been. I dont need the tension.
A week after you split is very soon to suddenly date your friends man. Either something was going on or they had feelings or something. For her to say she picks him over you is a quick thing to say after a week eh!
Either way I'd leave them to it but I'd lose her label of best friends. Real friends dont do this. This is a time when after a split up you need your friends to listen, cheer you u and generaly **** at bout how all men are arseholes etc. Friends agree and buy you a drink and give you a hug. Not get into relationship with said bloke and probably bonking round with ya ex!
I dropped a friend purely as she had my ex round her house and she hid it from me. I dont believe anythin went on but she lied to my face. Im honest and I want honesty and loyalty from my friends not sneeks.
Sure she is entitled to date him. You dont want him but desnt mean you have to approve and if you let it go and continue to be friends then beware cos she could do worse across you in the long term x | |
|
| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/1/2008 4:51:19 PM |
OP, you sure she's your "best friend"?
A true friend wouldn't move in on your ex no matter how long after you break up. | |
|
| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/1/2008 5:35:12 PM | | Seeing that I was once in this situation I can actually say something about it. I was the Fiance rather than the girlfriend though. She was my maid of honor. He was a cheating prick. Wether you feel that they were together was you were with him then go with your gut cause its always right. But don't look back at them, it only makes things worse. I would say she was never your friend in the first place and used you for what she could get from you. But to be fair she isnt the only one to put the blame on. Being an ex he should of known the boundry lines as well as her. You don't need either in your life and should be happy that you will no longer have them as headaches. As much as it hurts or what not. I myself am glad my ex and my ex friend are together, she saved me from the pain of getting married and finding out he was cheating later and having to go through a divorce. Be glad you didn't make it that far! Take them as a grain of salt. | |
|
| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/1/2008 5:56:06 PM | | There has to be a reason you broke up with him.... let that dread be hers... think of it as good riddance. Atleast he isnt stalking you. | |
|
| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/1/2008 6:35:06 PM | | i say forget her a so called friend of mine actually slept with my ex fiance and the mother of my daughter...and then i found out through the rest of my exs that he tried to get with them to...truthfully i really dont know what kinda friend he was but definitly not one who i would want in my life...its just a little something to think about do you really want a friend who you cant trust....with friends like that who needs enemies truthfully.... | |
|
| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/2/2008 12:19:16 AM | i agree with what a lot of the replies have already said - this is an absolute violation of 'girl code'. in fact 2.. 1.you don't jump on a friends' ex before the relationship is even cold (remember denise richards and heather locklear?) and 2. if you are really wanting to be with that ex you tell your friend and wait until she's comfortable with the idea. however long that takes.
she's not worthy of your friendship op and you don't want to be watching your back next time you're with someone.
good luck,
chrissy | |
|
| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/2/2008 3:12:57 AM | OK, I am going to pipe in and say I have a hard time finding anything too severe here. I am trying to think back when I was 23 and maybe thought differently way back then.
I have some pretty special friends and not for a second would I give them an ultimatum....me or a guy . You actually asked her to give something up that meant something to her ?
True friends are just happy for one another......period.
Permission for feelings is too tall of an order to ever ask for.... impossible actually.
Ultimatums are deal breakers for me in any relationship.The person asking me to choose, will most likely always be at the loosing end of that stick.
If you live in a smaller town, and have plenty of friends there are going to more exs floating around out there than not.( not just yours, but your friends') Be careful.....this could easily happen again over the years. You may even be on the other end someday.
I would have to maybe call a friend NUTS to go out with an ex....but certainly wish her the best in any case | |
|
| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/2/2008 6:11:57 AM | | You know what it is its easier to take your left overs then it is for her to find her own, and I would not necessarily call her a best friend if she was she would have came to you and discussed it with you even if she realized what the outcome would have been. I had a friend of mine do the same thing to me and realized she did not understand the true meaning of being someones bestfriend. Good Luck to you girl. | |
|
| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/2/2008 6:22:37 AM | So while you were going with him she had no feelings for him but within one week of your breaking up they were together. Now really.........listen I have this piece of property in Honduras,,,,,,contact me if your interested.
First off if she is your friend she has to know that your feelings for him did not disappear over night even if you felt it was best you werent together. Just move on. | |
|
| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/2/2008 6:36:27 AM |
A true friend wouldn't move in on your ex no matter how long after you break up.
Don't really think thats true. I personally want my friends to be happy, and if me and the ex didn't work out just as different personalities, it was 'mutual', and I could see them as "like souls", I'd be happy for them. *BUT* the fact that her 'friend' didn't even ask her if she'd be ok with it, it was only a week, and "hid it" for 3 weeks, to me is seriously disrespectful. My friends should be able to be honest with me about their feelings.
The simple fact is she was *afraid* to talk to you about it. Now, maybe its just me, but that fact would tell me that she *knew* it might affect/hurt your feelings & friendship - yet did it anyways "behind your back". A "best friend" should consider your feelings rather than doing something they know might hurt them. | |
|
| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/2/2008 7:24:40 AM | "OP.you sure she's your "best friend"?"
No kidding bikeman, She seems more like a vulture to me. A week after breaking up and most likely hurting over the breakup, your "best friend" moves in on your ex before the body gets cold. Man that's some "best friend". | |
|
| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/2/2008 9:57:37 AM | I've had this happen twice to me and the lies I caught them telling me and them completely unaware that I knew the truth.
Some are even dumb enough to think that I still want to remain friends. Both times, the person who was supposed to ask my friend NEVER asked if it would be cool.
While I no longer wish anything bad for these people, they have all permanently lost my respect.
It's all well and good for some people to say that we should be "happy for them", but until you have walked a mile in someone else's shoes.....One must wait for time to heal the wounds - I had to have time to feel the way I do now.
I do not wish any bad "karma" on them and they are probably quite happy, but obviously they do not follow the same moral code that I do. And these people have children, so I wonder just what they are teaching their children.
I take pride in my principles, morals and loyalty. | |
|
| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/2/2008 10:02:25 AM | HIT THE ROAD ,,,,,,,,,,,,,, FORGET BOTH  | |
|
| Best friend dates ex
Posted: 4/2/2008 10:30:37 AM | | Dealing with a friend especially someone you thought of as your best friend dating your ex is extremely hard. My once best friend is now marrying my ex husband, they say they didn't get together untill after we split but was still wrong, been 2 years now and have forgiven the ex husband as we need to get along we have a son together, as for the best friend, have learned to tolerate but will never be friends with her again. I hope they are happy, hurts me more to be angry so have let it go, but the betrayal still stings. | |
|
Home
login 
