| Woman shocked that man stopped talking to her after he sees her pic
Posted: 8/26/2008 3:26:29 PM | | I can see if she lied to him about her looks and then showed her a real pic of herself that wasn't nearly what she described herself to be, that's deceitful. I had that happen to me once. It wasn’t so much the fact of her appearance that got to me but the fact that she was showing me a pic of herself 10 years earlier acting like that’s who she was today without telling me the truth. If she would have told the truth about the pic or her looks I would have been fine with it, but considering she didn't I ended it right there, before things could ever get going. | |
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| Woman shocked that man stopped talking to her after he sees her pic
Posted: 8/26/2008 4:13:16 PM | Chat is chat only! To expect that someone will fall in love with you, due to your personality, without seeing what you look like first is STUPID! Everyone wants to see who they're chatting with (if you are looking for a relationship)....because a big part of attraction is in what you SEE! Who really knows who is on the other end of the chat line? Pictures should go hand in hand on a dating site!
Although....I did chat with this guy for a couple of months (he lives in the states) without seeing what he looked like...no pictures on his computer.....the chat was not on a dating site either! He was hilarious! I loved chatting with him....I even had a wee bit of a crush on him due to his personality. Since he didn't have a digital camera...was not very computer savvy...his typing sucked (slow typer)...I asked him if he would "snail mail" me some pictures. He did and I was floored at how good looking he was....I think I even blushed when I opened up the mail (whoo hoo...cutie). After seeing his pictures....I encouraged him to get a digital camera and get some pictures of himself onto the computer. We have never met and will probably never meet because he has kids and I have kids...live in different countries etc. But, he now has pictures online, bought a cam and our chats are a lot more fun now that we can see each other :) He's become a great friend! Too bad he didn't live closer :( I finally got him to put himself on a dating site....he's a keeper for sure!!
We were not looking for a relationship when we first started chatting, so as long as the chat is entertaining (to both parties)...who cares what they look like? BUT, when it comes to dating....that's a whole new ballgame! | |
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| Woman shocked that man stopped talking to her after he sees her pic
Posted: 8/26/2008 5:54:46 PM | Shock? No, she set herself up for that.
I believe in honesty and truthfulness. My profile states a few extra pounds and my pic is current.
I also have a pic of me on my profile showing what I looked like a few years back, because that's my target goal weight I will achieve.
That way if a gentleman is interested it's because he has all the facts and has decided he is comfortable with the reality. | |
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| Woman shocked that man stopped talking to her after he sees her pic
Posted: 9/5/2008 6:55:31 PM | [I was chatting with someone on here and she stopped replying to me after I told her I worked in a restaurant. Explain that one to me.]
Perhaps this person looks down on certain jobs. Keep trying. You probably do not need such a shallow person anyway. Classcism does still exist. | |
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| Woman shocked that man stopped talking to her after he sees her pic
Posted: 9/6/2008 7:38:25 AM | ...this woman was chatting with some guy for 6 weeks. they would chat for over 4 hours everyday, and she thought they shared a connection because of all the things they had in common. well, they chatted for 6 weeks without him seeing her pic, and when she finally showed it to him, he then said he was no longer interested until she lost some weight....should she feel shocked about that guy? or should she have expected it?
It seems really interesting to me that someone could talk to another person for 6 weeks, up to 4 hours a day, and not share enough about themselves for something as basic as being overweight to come up. I would think they'd talk about activities they did and their lifestyles. In my experience, I would share a photo just so the person would feel comfortable about who they were talking to, and I would want to see one. People can be dishonest or misleading even with photos, however. I think this guy is fairly superficial unlesss she is seriously overweight, but I think she would have been able to figure out if weight was important to him if she talked to him so much for such a length of time. This is really about the upfront communication, with or without the picture. These people were not communicating; seems like she was perhaps hiding something; also seems like he may be too superficial...don't know. I don't get a good impression from the behavior of either. Talking to someone for that length of time that many hours a day and not getting to know them well....I can't understand that. | |
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| Woman shocked that man stopped talking to her after he sees her pic
Posted: 9/6/2008 11:00:28 AM | | Nope, she shouldn't be shocked. Obviously she was uncomfortable about her weight and wanted him to "like" her and not care about the weight. It's too bad that it happened but let's face it, looks do mean something and if you don't like what you see, you probably aren't going to get past it just because they have a lovely personality. Also, I want to say that if it is just being friends that is one thing. But if she was looking for a romantic encounter that is another. Sounds shallow, but its the way it is. | |
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| Woman shocked that man stopped talking to her after he sees her pic
Posted: 9/6/2008 9:55:16 PM | | why in hell would he not have asked to see a picture of her? They chatted for 6 weeks, 4 hours a day, maybe she thought by the time they met she'd lose some weight...whatever the case, it's stupid to talk to someone without finding out what they look like. | |
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| Woman shocked that man stopped talking to her after he sees her pic
Posted: 9/7/2008 7:08:18 PM | Chating for over four hours a day for six weeks.
Does anyone else find that strange ?
Even before you get to the matter of the pic, I have to ask "what's wrong with this picture?" (pun not intended but left anyway).
Anyone else out there spend four hours a day talking to the same person, even if you have their pic? | |
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| Woman shocked that man stopped talking to her after he sees her pic
Posted: 9/14/2008 12:35:51 PM | | I don't think she should be shocked. I don't understand why they chated that long and never exchanged pictures. To me that would have been a red flag all alone. I would rather post my pic on my profile so men can see what I look like upfront. Then I don't spend hours and hours of my life (4 hours a day is very extreme for anyone) with someone that is not interested in me. I will admit that I found it much harder on my own self esteem when I did not have a picture posted and then after talking just a few days to a guy I would show him my picture and he would say "Oh, I just remembered I have something I need to be doing"...and I would never hear from him again. It would make me feel like I must really look ugly to some men. Of course, I do have very good self esteem so those negative thoughts did not last long. I know I may not be a beauty queen but I am not ugly either. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder....waiting 6 months to show a man or a woman your picture is in MHO a bit misleading. | |
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| Woman shocked that man stopped talking to her after he sees her pic
Posted: 9/15/2008 4:03:12 AM | Who the hell has time to chat to a faceless stranger for over 4 hours every day for over a month and a half?
Those who are unemployed?...incarcerated?...or have no outside interests?
And what the hell did they talk about for these 4+ hours each day?
The price of pumpkins in Peru?
If they spoke about their daily lives and goals and dreams they probably would have found out a bit more about each other.
If one person's goal is to climb Mt. Everest, and the other person hopes to win a Twinkie eating contest..............
Obviously these people didn't really make a connection with each other.
If they had, he might have found a more tactful way to tell her that he wasn't interested. | |
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| Woman shocked that man stopped talking to her after he sees her pic
Posted: 9/15/2008 3:32:07 PM | If she had looked at his pic, and said "We have no chemistry", would you hold it against her?
He could have been more polite about it, by saying "We have no chemistry". But that is really all you can point to.
At least he was honest, right?
i mean even without physical attraction isn't friendship possible, or was she only interesting while the potential of sexual gratification existed? If you spend 6 weeks talking to a potential employer, applying for a job there and for several interviews, and they don't want you, should you still be friends, or is it OK to be only interested while the potential of financial gratification existed?
By the way, way to bring a relationship just down to sex. Sex is part of a relationship, so you HAVE to be attracted. But it's not the only part. | |
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| Woman shocked that man stopped talking to her after he sees her pic
Posted: 9/16/2008 11:46:15 AM | This is a bit off-topic but...what the heck!
There was a gal that I used to talk to because of work. I worked for a finance company buying car contracts from a dealer and she was the F&I (Finance & Insurance) person. We eventually became "phone friends" and she had wit and humor and this totally sexy voice. I pictured her as a tall blond (maybe because I'm a tall blond?) Anyway, I finally had the opportunity to meet her and - BOY! what a shocker! She was 4'10", about 300 pounds, mousy brown, frizzy hair, mustache, etc.
Now, I wasn't expecting my friend to turn into a potential partner, so my outlook is different than the guy in question.
If it had been me, however, I would have at least told the guy what I looked like fairly early after we started talking, since this IS a dating site. I've got some older photos of me up in my profile and I make sure that people know I don't still look EXACTLY like that! | |
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| Woman shocked that man stopped talking to her after he sees her pic
Posted: 9/17/2008 7:09:14 AM | should she feel shocked about that guy?
No, she shouldn't. This is what people don't get. Its not just the mental connection that matters, its the total package.
if a girl is withholding her pic for 6 weeks, then she knows herself that she is unattractive and is banking on her "personality" to win over the guy. am i right or wrong?
Attraction is relative. What might be considered beautiful to one person, might not be considered attractive to another. When somebody withholds a pic, it tells me they don't have any confidence, which is a huge deal breaker for me. Sometimes, its not so much the looks, as it is the attitude.
Its unfortunate that some people out there believe that withholding a pic weeds out shallow people, because thats just not the case. What it does is create a mental picture in the other persons mind, and it becomes a dissapointment when that person is far off from what they've imagined.
I say put your best foot forward and get that pic out there. If you don't think you have a best foot to put forward, then work on your self esteem until you do.THATS whats attractive....knowing a person is comfortable in their own skin is a major plus.
There is somebody out there for everyone, why not start off honest and up front? You'd only be setting yourself up for dissapointment when that time finally comes..JMO | |
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| Woman shocked that man stopped talking to her after he sees her pic
Posted: 9/18/2008 8:13:03 PM | | Well let's take this one step further, it's pretty much the same as putting a picture in that's from 20 years ago, I recently went on a date that the woman said that she was thin, sure she was she was thin for a japanese Summo wrestler, she said she was panning on losing another 30 pounds but before she would be thin , she would have had to lose 120 pounds. Which brings me to my question. What the hell costitutes, a few extra pounds, average weight, thin, ETC, May I also suggest that POF adds obese and a real fan favorite Mooo or oink weight category, I was polite and stayed on the date, I had a salad and she only had half a cow. | |
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| Woman shocked that man stopped talking to her after he sees her pic
Posted: 9/19/2008 7:34:39 AM | I would be shocked. If you're speaking to someone for 6 weeks, four hours a day, you'd think they'd pass the I'm only interested in you if you're hot. If their 4 hour conversations were purely sexual, then no I wouldn't be suprised if he/she were disappointed and stopped.
You can't have a relationship with someone you're not physically attractive to - however, you definitely can be friends. | |
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