| | Why do women get cold feet?Page 2 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | " women who just offer no strings sex (come on girls, sex goes with a relationship and not before), women who make a bi-sexual offer of 3 in a bed with their girlfriend that they forgot to mention, women turning up drunk"
I'm not a guy but it seems to me lots of men would consider your track record a "success"  | |
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| Why do women get cold feet?
Posted: 4/4/2008 12:03:35 AM | lol you poor thing i have had only a couple bad experiences and that was nearly enough to turn me off.rest assured we do get the same thing. ten out of ten for hanging in there must be a really decent guy...pity im several thousand ks away lol...hang in there lol
kim:  | |
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| Why do women get cold feet?
Posted: 4/4/2008 7:50:35 AM |
Yeah, I don't think I'd plan much more than meeting and having dinner, maybe doing something after "on the fly" after
That's still too much for (let's face it) a virtual stranger. The shorter and cheaper the better...and screen em a bit longer too beforehand so you don't even waste gas if you don't need to.
I sat thru a whole meal once with someone I'd never met before. That was enough. And yes, for some - over 15 minutes can seem like an eternity. Why should both of you put yourselves thru that? Too much pressure, and since no one's dying in six months, making plans to meet again for another get together isn't a bad idea (should you both want to do so).
On the fly after seems nice in the moment, but IMO it's never an accurate way to gauge anything, who knows if you both aren't doing it just cause you don't want to say no thanks and leave? I never have that kind of time during a meet, but once I know I want to spend some time with some, I'm more than happy to plan something for most of a day or night in the future. | |
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| Why do women get cold feet?
Posted: 4/4/2008 9:58:02 AM | My feet get cold... I put SOCKS on!!!
Man that totally sucks! I can understand true emergencies but, to have the ratio be one in every 4 dates cancelling that's NOT good! I haven't done that to anyone so I don't understand. If the ratio was that bad I definately wouldn't be buying tickets in advance! (can you go online.. do ya'll have craigslist and see if you can get a date for tonight?) | |
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| Why do women get cold feet?
Posted: 4/4/2008 11:24:51 AM | Not all women get cold feet. Maybe something has cropped up, especially if you are dating women who may have kids???
I dont think its fair to cancel at the last minute though, if they are changing their minds they shouldnt leave it so late in the day to let you know.
Rather than a trip to the theatre just stick to casual drinks for a first date in future, that way its not wasting your money when they dont turn up or cancel late | |
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| Why do women get cold feet?
Posted: 4/4/2008 11:45:41 AM | Like many people have said here...keep it simple. Coffee or ice cream for a first date/meeting. You don't have any time in with this girl, so why spend a ton of money on a stranger?
Secondly, don't listen to anyone on here who says you've gotta talk on the phone. If a girl has any interest in you, she's going to want to meet with you for 30-60minutes and have coffee. Nothing beats body language - words only account for 10% of communication. Phones are for making dates and for girls talking to their girl friends. ;) | |
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| Why do women get cold feet?
Posted: 4/4/2008 11:46:45 AM | Sorry that it happened to you. Some get scare if they dont know enough about you.Maybe you should tell more about yoursel before meeting the girl.  | |
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| Why do women get cold feet?
Posted: 4/4/2008 12:05:26 PM | The solution is simple. Don't invest any money or time in a relationship that hasn't developed to the point where there is certain level (for you to determine) of mutual interest.
I don't waste my time with flakey women or ones who want to play their hurtful little emotional games. If they're interested in you, they'll get their little acts together - believe me. And be a man and confront any woman who is screwing over you. Tell her what the rules of the game are. If she doesn't like it, tell her to hit the road. I'm telling you guys here you're nothing more than a bunch of doormats.
The Eagle | |
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| Why do women get cold feet?
Posted: 4/4/2008 12:06:37 PM |
Secondly, don't listen to anyone on here who says you've gotta talk on the phone. If a girl has any interest in you, she's going to want to meet with you for 30-60minutes and have coffee. Nothing beats body language - words only account for 10% of communication. Phones are for making dates and for girls talking to their girl friends. ;)
I hate the phone quite a bit at this point in my life, but even I will talk at least once on the phone before planning a meet. You can't gauge attraction, but you can get a good feel of what you're conversation's gonna be like when you get there. I (and I am sure a lot of others) have actually changed my mind and decided not to go any further based on a phone call. | |
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| Why do women get cold feet?
Posted: 4/4/2008 12:07:10 PM | Sometimes I've made the mistake of putting the 'seed' of getting cold feet there. After I'd been stood up a couple of times I thought 'I wish they'd just tell me so I don't turn up like a plonker' so it's:
me: if you decide to pull out please let me know and there'll be no hard feelings - I know that some ladies don't like turning a fella down
her: why, don't you want to meet then?
me: I'm looking forward to meeting you very much but I know a lot of women don't like hurting men's feelings but it's OK if you decide to pull out - I'll understand - after all I do have plans to meet up with other ladies
her: a word of advice, never tell a woman you're about to date that you're seeing other women
me: er, we're on a dating site? I'm expecting you to be meeting with other men?
her: I've changed my mind, I don't want to meet.
Now although I think that's not the kind of person I'd want to meet anyway for a variety of reasons I'm aware that dropping even a hint of 'mind-play' can get the ladies a bit skittish so I don't do that any more.
I've had a few lovely ladies turn up and behave like proper ladies and a few horror stories too. I think the ladies get it worse than the fellas do, based on what some of the ladies who bothered to turn up tell me! | |
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| Why do women get cold feet?
Posted: 4/4/2008 3:00:28 PM | I agree with other posters to keep the first meeting quick and simple, like a coffee or drink. It's not a "date", it's a "meeting" to determine whether or not there is any chemistry. When I was doing the first meeting thing, I'd know within 5 minutes if there was any potential.
OP, how well are you screening women before you set up a first meeting? Early on in online dating, I would agree to meet too quickly, which led to a string of interminable coffee dates. With time, I learned to spend more time asking pertinent questions via email, and then having at least one telephone conversation. In this way, I had better success with first meetings.
There are many decent people on POF, and I hope you connect with one of them. | |
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| Why do women get cold feet?
Posted: 4/4/2008 3:35:08 PM | | Hmmm can't answer that one but i know it's happened to me as well.........some people just freak out I guess..........it annoys me more then anything........although it is possible that things do come up last minute,especially if you lead a busy life. | |
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msflis
| | Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 40 | |
| Why do women get cold feet?
Posted: 4/4/2008 10:21:29 PM |
do 67 y/o woman really get horny?
Do 36-year-old men really not know the answer to that?
OP: You've certainly had a run of frigid-footed women. Maybe you need to ask them in depth about their warm socks before arranging to buy theater tickets for a first date.
Incidentally, much as I love going to the theater, I wouldn't consider that, or a movie, a very good way to get to know a near-stranger. Something where you get to talk to your date for more than just a few minutes beforehand and at intermission works much better, I find.
--Ms. Flis | |
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| Why do women get cold feet?
Posted: 4/7/2008 10:16:29 PM | i went to a pof party sat it was lots of fun
but i see why woman get cold feet now one man will reck it all for the rest of us
there was one guy there that just wouldnt take no for an answer he was like a bull in heat going after every woman in the bar even ones with someone if he ever meet someone alone i feel sorry for them so i do understand why they get cold feet now | |
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| Why do women get cold feet?
Posted: 1/28/2012 3:11:44 PM | I have been guilty of this myself. Not to the extent of theater tickets, I would've discouraged that off the bat... would've said something about how a coffee or something would feel more comfortable for a first time meeting. But yes, I HAVE flaked on coffee. Some guys look really good on paper and then when they call on the phone you either get creeped out by how they talk or they seem to have a chromosome missing somewhere along the line (maybe they had a friend write their profile???) Anyway, I have cancelled on even having coffee. I am a single mom and time is at a premium, I have to make a special effort to meet up with somebody and will not do that if I am fairly certain I am just going to WISH I was sitting at home instead. I have always tried to be courteous though and send a message or text saying I couldn't make it well in advance. I want to talk on the phone and see if there is anything there at first and if they get pushy about wanting to meet I will agree, then cancel and just mark them off the list. Guys need to figure out patience. I was on a first phone call and a guy asked 3 times in the first 5 minutes " Do you like me?" Hell, I don't KNOW if I like you, I don't KNOW you yet! sheesh... hope this is enlightening.  | |
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| Why do women get cold feet?
Posted: 1/28/2012 6:31:13 PM | There's alot of nutcases out there who roam the net looking for victims. I met only one guy off POF in the past 2 and half years because the rest all creeped me out way before I thought about actually meeting them
So many always think they can do so much better unrealistically so they keep searching. They think theres gotta be much better fish to catch in this big sea | |
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| Why do women get cold feet?
Posted: 1/28/2012 6:33:48 PM | Their feet might get cold if they wear sandals, pumps, or heels in the snow.
Oh, the other meaning of cold feet: I think men do it too, but probably not as much. a lot of people are afraid to take a chance and come out of their personal comfort zone. | |
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| Why do women get cold feet?
Posted: 1/28/2012 6:51:44 PM | | @OP Like Patti Stanger from Millionaire Matchmaker would say "your picker isn't working" Wow thats alotta bad luck. | |
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| Why do women get cold feet?
Posted: 1/29/2012 8:49:24 AM | | I had woman cancel on me last weekend & last night at the last minute I have come to the conclusion that women on dating sites deliberately mess men about & deliberately give men the brush off to fuel their own egos | |
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| Why do women get cold feet?
Posted: 1/29/2012 10:11:12 AM |
deliberately mess men about & deliberately give men the brush off to fuel their own egos
I think most of us have had that kind of thing happen. There could be all sorts of reasons why a woman would agree to meet and then cancel, or even just not show up. The trick is not to waste even a moment trying to guess why, because it's easy to start wondering if it was something about you. No matter how long you spent wondering, you could never know the answer anyway. So just assume she's a flake, and concentrate on the next one. | |
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| Why do women get cold feet?
Posted: 1/29/2012 12:11:15 PM | | ---> Cheeky, men do the same thing too. They mess about and then wonder why I won't meet them after all the BS | |
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| Why do women get cold feet?
Posted: 2/2/2012 8:31:50 PM | I don't know why women get cold feet.. My question is why do they insist on placing them them on my exposed back when they are at their coldest?
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| Why do women get cold feet?
Posted: 2/5/2012 6:52:41 PM | 1/4 of the girls you have chatted to on phone for a few days and then arranged a date with cancel on you,
but so 3/4 actually dont cancel last minute/stand you up??
My friend if that is true then you are extremely lucky in the girls you selected.
I personally have a rate of 1/20 girls NOT cancelling lastminute,
but so the other 19 girls out of 20, after having chatted on the phone and texted for a few days - few weeks, will all cancel on the day of meetingup, yet always for a reason which is out of their control and so if i say anything about makes me look clingy and desperate!
Sorry but that is just how girls are now, despite how creepy and wierd it may be, that is just the reality of how girls now are.
And so the best and most logical thing you can do is to book a few dates with a few different girls all for the same day,
so that then when most of them cancel you may atleast get 1 genuine relaible girl who doesn't.. :) | |
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