| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 4/26/2008 6:11:15 AM | | Just be grateful. In the real world, if a restaurant advertises and you partake...they still hand you the bill and expect YOU to pay it, right? | |
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| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 4/26/2008 6:26:47 AM | | Sad how we concentrate on the value of the meal as opposed to the value of the gesture itself. | |
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| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 4/26/2008 7:45:44 AM | I have ZERO problem letting the woman pay for my dinner, in fact I prefer it that way. It shows good faith.
Dutch treat if you insist. | |
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| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 4/26/2008 7:54:50 AM | My former landlord used the "split the entree" technique with all potential dates....only 'cause he's a cheapskate.....talks a big game (how he's a millionaire, etc.), though he could pinch a penny till it screams into non-existence!
That is why he is a millionaire!!!
Splitting meals makes sense on many fronts:
Restaurants usually have too big of portions
All of us (men and women) would do well to eat less
Sets the stage for what life will be like with the other person
Maybe I'm jaded, if a woman expects to be "courted" in the "old fashioned" way then she should be prepared to reciprocate by standing by her man through thick and thin. I've not ran into too many women who are prepared for the latter. | |
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| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 4/26/2008 7:59:19 AM |
When I ask a woman to dinner (a first or subsequent date), I also let her know the location, and "atmosphere" of the place, and also what I will be wearing, so she can plan accordingly.
As I have asked her out, I expect to pay. It is a common courtesy for me to pay for the dinner (including tip),****ails, or even cab-fare, if she has chosen to take one, or not feeling really comfortable allowing me to pick her up at her home for a first date. no questions asked, and no complaints about what she orders, whether she eats all of it, or not.
I think it is reprehensible to ask, or think that a woman would have to pay for any part of an evening that I have invited her to. If she is insistant, then I politely tell her, "You can pay next time, or whenever YOU ask ME out."
...I like your style hizdog, I would have no problem reciprocating should there be a next time.
...maeflowers | |
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| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 4/26/2008 8:09:25 AM | I went to dinner with a man.. after meeting at a flea market. The whole date was his choice. He wanted to show me what and where he "normally" does on his Saturday off from work. NO problem. We had a good time walking through the flea market.. and.. we BOTH made some fine purchases out of our own pockets (as would be expected). We continued on to the restaurant he knows and likes.. the food was good.. the drinks were as well.. the desert was mouth watering and tastey. Then came the bill. He reached for his wallet before the waitress made it to the table.. and.. it was gone! His wallet had been accidently left at the last table he bought his last little item at.. and was his face ever red. I told him it was no bother. I paid for our meals with my trusty little bank card (I carry a very small amount of cash.. and.. Ole Mr. plastic trustee with me everywhere.. and change in case the cell "won't" work!) We immediately went back to the flea market that was now almost completely emptied out.. and the man had his wallet in hand standing at the opening of the place. My date started insisting he re-pay our bill. I said.. catch you next time. I'm not sure.. but.. I think maybe it was his embarassment of losing his wallet.. but.. I never saw him again. He never wrote me.. or called. Oh well! I had at least one nice afternoon with him.
I love that story up to the point he never called you. Experiences like that can be remembered in such a powerful way. I wish I was the guy in your story. It would have ended differently though. | |
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| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 4/26/2008 8:29:06 AM |
And that, ladies, is how MOST guys think. It's a shame that threads like this are allowed to go on and on, giving attention to the small minority of slimeballs that think otherwise. Men (and women) like that shouldn't get any attention at all -- let alone, almost all of it.
I know most guys think that way; the reason for my original post is that I was so blown away by the actions--it had never been an issue before. The majority of men 99.9% have been gracious gentlemen. There is always that one date that we all don't forget. It in no way clouds my judgement on all men. | |
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| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 4/26/2008 8:50:49 AM | ...Yes, I agree. Most of the guys I've encountered have been great....but theres always that one that you don't forget haha...but isn't that what makes life interesting?
...maeflowers | |
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| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 4/26/2008 9:10:15 AM | | It reminds me of meeting a man about 20 years after we had a blind date set up by my boss-his uncle. He did not remember me and I never forgot him--and not in a good way! | |
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| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 4/26/2008 1:48:32 PM | Annette,
I don’t know about most men but when I ask someone out I expect to pay for everything & expense is not a concern. Since I don’t date all that much … most of my dates are a very special treat for me & I try to make it just as much of a treat for the lady. My hope is that we will enjoy each others company so much … any expense is never even thought about. To me it’s all about having the best time possible & enjoying the evening. When I first started dating again after many, many years … I was too concerned about making a good impression & finding my soul mate. Now-a-days I am focused on the present & enjoying life to it’s fullest. In order to do that my date needs to enjoy herself just as much as I do.
By the way … your approach that you described doesn’t surprise me. You are obviously a very classy, refined lady.
Gary | |
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| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 4/26/2008 3:12:47 PM | Well, I'm not sure I agree with the 'some women just wanting a free meal' idea -- at least, I've never met any. But I too don't do dinner dates on first dates (or early dates) -- maybe later on if a relationship develops. I usually like to 'experience' something with the person I'm trying to get to know a little better -- a fall fair, a concert, a drive, a walk along a lake or river, something like that. If things go well and the date continues to the point that we are hungry, I've always liked to put our heads together and choose somewhere close to where we are at the time -- sort of a spontaneous type of thing. When I'm meeting someone for the first time, I like to talk with them. And no matter how I look at it, it's tough to talk when you're chewing food. And I've always seen dinner dates as things to impress -- and when I meet someone for the first time, I'm not looking to impress them (seriously). I'm more interested in relaxing them and learning about them.
Yeah, yeah, I know ... I'll get some flack for the 'dinner dates to impress' comment, but that's always how it's felt to me. I'd sooner relax my date, than try to impress her. She wouldn't be with me at the time if I still needed to impress her.
cdn guy | |
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| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 4/26/2008 3:15:16 PM | It's obvious why the men on here are not taken. No one likes a cheapskate. Be a gentleman and pay for dinner. If you can't afford it, don't date. I have been on many cheap dates and I have been on some long dates with a nice dinner. Even if we didn't hit it off we became friends or at least aquaintances. Odd too that the men who didn't want to go out with buying coffee, were trying to get "cozy" with me.
If you want to make a good impression on a woman, at least pay for dinner. Even if you don't hit it off, she will have a kind word for you. You don't want to be labeled a "cheapskate". | |
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| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 4/26/2008 8:23:14 PM | Ang65 (in Msg 248) said … “It's obvious why the men on here are not taken. No one likes a cheapskate. Be a gentleman and pay for dinner. If you can't afford it, don't date.”
My Response: Not all of us are hesitant about spending a little money in order to enjoy a nice evening out. The way I see it … the whole objective in dating is for both people to have an enjoyable time and forget about the expense. While I don’t associate a good date with having to spend a lot of money, I also don’t have any reservations about doing so if it becomes necessary. Also … as I mentioned in an earlier posting, after focusing too much on making that “perfect” impression in the past, now-a-days (at least for me) my focus is on being myself and making the evening as enjoyable as possible for the two of us. | |
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| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 5/3/2008 2:41:15 PM | This was said:
If the guy is going to start an agrument over something this trivial, I think you need to think about whether you really want to be dating him at all.
Then the next line was this:
Trust me, those are normally the last dates with those men. I would think he would think he was saving a buck. So who's really being trivial? So arguing about is trivial? Well how about using this as criteria for never seing a guy again? So who are we trying to make to appear as shallow?
Yes, ang65, as pretty as she is, did say:
It's obvious why the men on here are not taken. No one likes a cheapskate. Be a gentleman and pay for dinner. If you can't afford it, don't date. It's obvious why the women on here are not taken. No one likes a gold digger. I can afford to buy dinner but buying dinner after dinner after dinner just to meet people get's old and expensive after a while. | |
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| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 5/3/2008 3:07:17 PM | I hate being wrong and I pull a lot of stuff out of my @ss so when I think you can but dinner for $3.00 in Honduras and somebody who lives there say's, no, try $100 bucks I say damn my @ss was way off.
decent meal for close to $3.00 even with our fast sinking dollar. Wow ...that WAS the 80's We dont have a hamburger place ( yet! A Wendy's is being built as we speak) If you are going to a nice place a dinner for two on this piece of the Caribbean will run you about a hundred dollars with wine! In Tegucigualpa, on the mainland it will be a bit more.
Wait, what island did she live on? Manhatten? No, in a third world country. Let me do a quick google search "cost of living Honduras" and learn me sumptin'.
By:Del Sol Montessori Bilingual School
Living in Honduras:
The School provides free housing with furniture’s, electricity . The apartment are small and comfort, as well as safely, secured area is like about 5 mints from downtown and 10 mints from the school. Day to day cost here are extremely low. Bananas are 2 cents of $ money in the market, oranges are 3 cents, melons and heads of broccoli, tomatoes, and green beans 20 cts. Per pound, and potatoes as low as 13 cts. Per pound, a typical dinner you can afford for 40.00 lempiras that about $2.00 dollars, a soda cost 38 cts. A taxi charges you 1 dollar. As you see Honduras is poorest country in Latin America, but living conditions here in Siguatepeque are hardly what they show in Peace Corp ads. We have electricity, running water, and cable TV, phone service, Internet Cafe, Nice restaurants, WENDY¨S,Mall. The salary we offers is a good salary with it you can live in a very good social status.
The cost of living is between 1/3 and 1/2 lower than their Central American neighbors and is considered to be one of the most reasonable in the world.
A three bedroom home with a pool, tennis court, maids quarters, and plenty of land in what is considered to be the more exclusive areas would sell for around $80,000.
Additional expenses for a live in house keeper, telephone, electricity, and air conditioning would add another $150.00 to your monthly budget.
Resident expatriates calculate a couple can live comfortably on $700.00 per month, if they own their home.
Many of the supermarkets carry imported items and brand name products such as Campbell's and Kellogg's, however, because of the import taxes and transportation cost, these products are much higher than locally produced products. Usually 2-3 times higher priced.
A couple consuming only locally grown fresh products can easily stock their shelves for under $150.00 per month.
Considerable savings can be had shopping in the open air markets and avoiding the large supermarkets. A couple can easily buy everything they need in one of these markets for a week for around $6.00 - $10.00.
I guess my educated @ss does it again but needs calibration as I was off by a buck. Maybe on an english speaking resort island dinner is $100. I learned long ago if you try to buy 'American' in a foreign land expect to pay more. The best deals are on local food. I still might retire overseas so I'm always looking and wondering. | |
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| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 5/3/2008 4:53:33 PM | gpb1953.........msg 235
who actually is.......ANNETTE.....?????????????????????????????????????? | |
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| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 5/4/2008 6:11:41 AM | | I follow the same rules as you do, as I think it's just good manners. I would do the same if a girlfriend or family member offered to take me out to dinner as well. I also always offer to pay my share, and if we end up going on additional dates, I offer to pay for the entire meal or activity at least some of the time. | |
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| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 5/4/2008 7:56:08 AM | Compactdisc (In Msg #242) asked:
“gpb1953.........msg 235. Who actually is.......ANNETTE.....?????????????????????????????
My Response:
Annette is a beautiful, very classy, sweet lady who is a great contributor to the POF forums. I find that her thread postings & replies express not only intelligence but also very caring & compassionate qualities. The only thing I find fault with is the distance that separates us.
Oh … I almost forgot she is also the author of this forum thread (aka “outofthedesert”).
Gary | |
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| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 5/4/2008 8:30:41 AM | I'll show you my restaurant if you'll show me yours...
My restaurant is better than your restaurant...
You can't afford my restaurant....
Your restaurant is a greasy spoon...
When you go, you should also bring an astrology chart, tarot cards and some of those chinese fortune sticks used in china for hundreds of years.
All these things can provide input to your creep meter. | |
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| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 5/4/2008 8:32:50 AM | | Gary, you need to clone yourself. You always post interesting, thoughtful posts and seem to be a true gentleman. Annette does seem to be a great catch for some lucky man, if she and I lived near each other I think we would be friends...Fifi | |
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| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 5/4/2008 12:05:36 PM | gpb1953
thank you for clearing that one up.
i have just looked at " outofthedesert " ` profile and couldnt see the name ANNETTE anywhere on it and looked at all the user names on this thread and couldnt see the name ANNETTE but thanks for clearing that up. | |
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| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 5/4/2008 2:04:46 PM | Compactdisc,
From your response I didn't exactly clear things up all that much. I appears I cleared up one mystery & created yet another. You won't find the author's name in the places you've searched because it's not there. I have had the pleasure of corresponding with this elegant lady outside the forums & it was during one of these exchanges that she revealed her name to me.
By the way ... I attempted to contact you personally to provide you with this information but was prevented from doing so by the limitations you've placed on your mail settings. This could be anything from distance to gender I suppose.
One last note ... I noticed you reside in England. I visted my son there last year when he was attending school at EdgHill College in Ormskirk, England (just outside of Liverpool). Over the 10 days I visited I fell in love with the country & it's people.
Gary | |
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