| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 4/4/2008 8:45:03 PM |
Grow up and order what you want. I am quite grown-up, thank you, but I also understand that some gentlemen are just getting back on their feet.
I normally don't go to dinner for first time meets. Lunch or coffee and that is not an issue. Sometimes I am truly just not that hungry at dinner. Other times I can share the appetizer, eat a salad or soup, entree and share dessert as well as wine and coffee and make it an event.
I have also gone dutch treat and in some cases, I paid the entire bill if I invited. | |
|
| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 4/4/2008 9:30:30 PM | Maybe I'm a redneck, but if on a date and I want them to order whatever they want I usually blurt out "Man!, I'm starved! What strikes your fancy?" That should negate the wonder if I am willing to pay for it all. If I can't pay for it we won't be there. Some people are weird.
I shake my head! | |
|
| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 4/4/2008 9:56:44 PM | I guess that all depends on what type of dinner/date you go out on.
The type I know I was speaking of was a first date/meet/dinner (can't seem to get more than a couple.. well.. until now.. ).. and it's not as "formal" as having "courses" served on silver trays.. as a matter of fact.. the places I prefer to go to don't even sell liquor.
I have yet to get all-gussied-up (in evening-ware) and do the "fine" dining thing.
I can.. and have.. spent hours out at a "casual" dinner setting with a few different men (on different dates.. of course) just talking.. laughing.. and having a good time.
The topic of who's paying has just never been brought up. Then.. when the check comes.. he's already got his wallet out and is ready to pay. Usually.. he puts the tip on the table before getting the rest out to pay for the meal.
I just make sure "not" to go overboard on the cost.. making sure I can pay for both meals and the tip should the need arise. I also make sure to take just enough on me to pay for a taxi should my own car break-down on the way. You know the.. who knows what may happen senario. | |
|
| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 4/5/2008 7:23:14 AM | | You are not gouging a man who has invited you out to dinner to a restaurant of his choice by ordering a regular entree. If a man invites you, assume he has selected a restaurant that he likes and is familiar with the prices. You are there to enjoy each other's company and hopefully good food in a comfortable relaxed atmosphere. Have fun! | |
|
| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 4/5/2008 7:31:27 AM | | As you said I would hope he was asking me out for being with me ............and if he has chosen the place to go he should know the price range there and what you order should not be a concern at that point, so bon appatite.. how evere you spell it,lol. | |
|
| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 4/5/2008 7:44:04 AM |
Grow up and order what you want. Don't base what you order on what your dining companion orders. Hopefully when he invites you to a nicer restaurant, he goes prepared to pay for the two most expensive meals on the menu. Then when you just order a salad or appie he breathes an internal sigh of relief
First off... I would never take a date to a place I could not afford... that solves the problem regarding pricing and expense.
But, if a woman orders the most expensive items, appetisers, drinks and then orders desert without intensions of contributing somewhat... as far as I am concerned she lacks ettiquette - to say the least. That's red flag behaviour... it sets a precedent for future dates - which will never occur.
Such behaviour is as rude as a man entering the room before the woman and letting the door close in her face. | |
|
| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 4/5/2008 7:47:13 AM |
When a gentleman invites me out for dinner, I usually try to find out where we are going so I may dress appropriately and to have an idea of the fare. When there, I normally take the lead from the gentleman about what to order. Sometimes, I will simply order an appetizer or salad because that is all I truly want to eat. I have had dates make remarks 'I can afford more than that', to which I reply, 'I appreciate it, but it is truly all I want to eat'. Retort: don't you like this restaurant? Yes, but it is all I want.
I am not out to gouge a man for a meal.
If I am hungry for a full meal, I will ask him what looks good on the menu to determine what price range he is selecting. Maybe this is old fashioned, but it was what my mom taught me.
I have a guy friend who says if he can't afford to pay for the meal, he does not need to be dating but others who feel like some woman are just for the free meal. I enjoy the company most.
Ladies, what are some of your experiences with this? Gentleman, how do you handle it?
What a nice LADY the OP is! My take is: if a man invited me out on a dinner date, he chose the place not me, & I follow the lead just as the OP does. I can afford to go out to eat by myself or w/ friends, or cook myself what I like. I am not loaded financially by any means, I have simple tastes for good things. If a man is going out to eat, he is eating too...
IF I were doing the internet/blind date thing, I'd meet for coffee 1st...I would not want to SUFFER through a meal, even if it were at a lavish restaurant if I did NOT like the man...I don't want to be stuck making small talk w/ a jerk, or an ungroomed clod, or a whiner, etc. No food tastes that good as to deal w/ someone I don't care for | |
|
| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 4/5/2008 7:53:44 AM | I have met with about 10 guys from here, Only one person bought me a meal.... What am I doing wrong!
Seriously though, I certainly don't expect a guy to buy me a meal on the first date! I would feel very guilty if there was no spark and he had gone to all that trouble.
If on the other hand we were to meet and there was chemistry, To continue the evening and a meal was suggested. I would either accept or go "dutch". It depends on the level of attraction and if there was going to be another date. | |
|
| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 4/5/2008 8:51:47 AM | | No you definitely do not want to go out to dinner with someone for the first meet. That could be a disaster! Meet for coffee with no expectations and therefore no disappointments on either side. Going out to dinner with someone is best after you've met a couple of times, enjoy each other's company and are looking forward to seeing each other again. At this stage you both should be comfortable enough to talk about your dinner plans, where you're going, whether you've been there before, what the food is like, etc. so there are no surprises. | |
|
| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 4/6/2008 3:14:03 AM | i know it should be 50/50 when it comes to paying.
then at least whatever each party orders and leaves there wouldnt be any bother..........each person orders and pays for their own food.
tho in my case it would be 50/50 simply because i have had enough of paying for EVERYTHING.
| |
|
| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 4/6/2008 5:37:47 AM |
tho in my case it would be 50/50 simply because i have had enough of paying for EVERYTHING.
I think this is where the problem is. Years ago, there was courting, and the man would pay and not think 50/50. It was a date, they asked the woman out, she accepted and he would pay for the meal, etc. Then men woke up, and decided they had enough of empty meals without the benefits, so want 50/50. LOL
If a man ever asks me out and picks the place, they get to pay for my company. LOL
Seriously, whoever asks, pays.. That seems fair to me. If someone picks an expensive place and I can't afford it, should I say "Let's go to McD's instead" I think not!! Just because they pay for the dinner date, doesn't mean they are entitled to extra "benefits"
JMO | |
|
| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 4/6/2008 5:48:18 AM | Ageless, I agree, whoever does the asking should pay. I have offered to pay my portion before and the gentleman was quick to say, he invited me and he was paying. I have asked men out and paid for the venue. I had a date where he paid for the day wine cruise and I paid for the hockey games.
Not every woman is a gold digger and not every man expects bed for dessert. | |
|
| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 4/6/2008 5:52:40 AM | ^^^^^^^^^^
if one person picks a REALLY expensive place then maybe they shouldnt expect the other half to pay but really it should be decided before hand where you are going.
I have met a good few women on here who have not payed for any thing, i have to say that it has never bothered me and i have never ever thought that buying a woman a meal, drinks or anything should lead to any " extras".
I have just got to the point where i have had enough of doing this, in this world of PC and equality.
It really has a lot to do with age brackets too, the older generation of women talk of " gentlemen" and what " gentlemen" used to do , maybe the younger women dont expect men to be like that anymore. | |
|
| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 4/6/2008 8:24:47 AM | Alot of times, I will ask what he is ordering, or if he has been there before what is good.
If it is a more casual place and he seems agreeable, I will often suggest ordering a few things al a carte and splitting them, especially if the guy is also not a big eater. I also don`t like to order a huge amount if I am not going to eat it, or order something extremely expensive.
I think the way you order your food tells alot about your personality. I watch this in a man also. For instance----on one first date, I ask the guy what he is getting ( to see about splitting something) so I say "what looks good?" He says, well, I`m going to have a personal pizza. That pretty much said everything about his personality in his first restaurant order. | |
|
| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 4/6/2008 9:57:14 AM | | This cracks me up!!! Thank you for this posting. If a man asks he pays if I ask I pay. About ten years ago I asked out the man I had been dating casually for a few weeks, he accepted. When we got there we orderd drinks, apps, and our meals. As the server was walking away he called her back and order a $45.00 bottle of wine. My heart sunk but ok I can handle that. We enjoyed the wine and apps. and then our meals came, he orderd another bottle of wine. Holy crap I hope they take Debit cards was my thought. We sat there for 2 hours or so. Had coffee and talked. Great time , then the server asked if we were ready for the bill and I said yes thank you as she was walking away again my date piped up and said put the wine and drinks on a seperate bill as he was paying for that and I was paying for the food. I told him that was not nessasary and he laughed and said I wanted to see how you were going to deal with it.... Bugger was testing me, I passed. It was the begining of a great relationship. I don't think I paid for anything again after that night. Thanks for the recall. I needed that. | |
|
| |
| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 4/6/2008 3:46:19 PM | Here's a cute little story for ya..
I went to dinner with a man.. after meeting at a flea market. The whole date was his choice. He wanted to show me what and where he "normally" does on his Saturday off from work. NO problem. We had a good time walking through the flea market.. and.. we BOTH made some fine purchases out of our own pockets (as would be expected). We continued on to the restaurant he knows and likes.. the food was good.. the drinks were as well.. the desert was mouth watering and tastey. Then came the bill. He reached for his wallet before the waitress made it to the table.. and.. it was gone! His wallet had been accidently left at the last table he bought his last little item at.. and was his face ever red. I told him it was no bother. I paid for our meals with my trusty little bank card (I carry a very small amount of cash.. and.. Ole Mr. plastic trustee with me everywhere.. and change in case the cell "won't" work!) We immediately went back to the flea market that was now almost completely emptied out.. and the man had his wallet in hand standing at the opening of the place. My date started insisting he re-pay our bill. I said.. catch you next time. I'm not sure.. but.. I think maybe it was his embarassment of losing his wallet.. but.. I never saw him again. He never wrote me.. or called. Oh well! I had at least one nice afternoon with him. | |
|
| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 4/6/2008 4:39:43 PM | Oh the "ole lost my wallet trick" works every time.
I must be old.With me I always pay.
I dont do the pick up in the bar thing.But I will buy a girl a drink.After she buys me one.How else is she gonna get to 1st base with me.Doesn't mean I'm going to bed with her.They hate getting turned down.
I can see why guys dont take girls out to dinner any more.There are so many girls n to find a good one takes alot of time.Then she may not even like you. | |
|
| |
| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 4/6/2008 10:44:22 PM | I once went out to eat with a guy who got angry because I didn't want a steak..and only wanted a bowl of soup. LOL..then he thought he was going home with me after that.
It takes all kinds. | |
|
| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 4/6/2008 11:17:08 PM | Hi "Out of The "
Please forgive me if I have have jumped the thread here. Haven't had the opportunity to read this whole thing, short on time, but have some thoughts.
I know exactly where I would like to dine in my area, and I expect prospective dates have their own ideas about that. However, taste is subjective.
In my experience, women have a tendency to leave the first dinner date choice up to the guy. That can work out well, or not so well.
Once again... we need to learn how to communicate with one another.
She needs to tell us where she wants to go, and we'll do the same.
In some sense, expecting the guy to "metaphysically" choose something she will like is fanciful at best. Let's talk, kick it around. I expect we can agree if we talk.
Oh, and yes, I'm buying as the guy, first date anyway.
Hoping we can cook together next time.
Cheers | |
|
| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 4/6/2008 11:30:00 PM | | cant afford to pay for the meal? oreder what you like, doesnt matter, if the person cant afford to pay for it, chose a different restaurant or he should be dating, i go out to eat for the company, whether its appetizers or full 4 course meal, its all about the compamny, not the price, | |
|
| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 4/7/2008 10:38:11 AM | LOL...you were tested!
Apparantly that guy had been taken to the cleaners once too often. I would have been dyin too...but hey, who asks, pays...no matter what.
Usually you can tell how much a guy can afford on dinner by talking to them..you kind of get a clue when they talk about favorite places to go. If they only talk about Mickey D's..you know not to ask for Pappadeux's. | |
|
| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 4/7/2008 12:41:38 PM | i can remember meeting a very nice lady ( from off POF )who IMO had fantastic curves in all the places where most women only dream of having lady curves....i actually thought she was a model-she was gorgeous and i couldnt understand why she actually wanted to meet little ole me........anyway off we went into a pub for lunch.....she did say to me that she didnt eat much tho, anyway she told me what she wanted and off i toddled to the bar to order our food, the food arrived and i ate all what was on my plate...............as i allways do, anyway she must have had 2 peas , 3 chips and a corner off her fish then said she couldnt eat any more, she kept appologising for not eating it all, in no way was i bothered or angry at her leaving her food but what did bother me was that i really wanted to scrape all her peas, chips and fish onto my plate so i could finnish it off, but in the end i daren`t do it thinking she might think i was a scrubber or some thing.
Anyway after a few drinks ( non alchoholic for her ) i walked her to her car , snogged her and off she went........................and it didnt surprise me that ive never seen her since.............tho we do text each other now and again..................lol. | |
|
| Money spent on dinner dates
Posted: 4/7/2008 12:55:38 PM | I learned my lesson last year about accepting fine dining dates. These were both second dates, after the first one went well. Needless to say, both were expecting me for dessert, and were pretty demanding about it. So, no, I will no longer accept dinner dates from men---period. I know what is expected and I am not comfortable about it. I
can feed myself and not a prostitute for a meal. | |
|
Home
login 
