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| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 4/8/2008 3:15:31 PM | Well dirtydeeds101, I didnt get married until I was 36 and growing up I really wanted to marry before I did have any. My wife already had a child and I grew fond of her and didnt feel I had to have any at the time. By the time the subject finally did come up my marriage wasn't going very well so it just didn't happen. I have been in 2 relationships since and both women were older than me and that age where it would have been difficult for them. Looking back though it never was something I ever wanted to push on someone either. When I was in my 20s I was in a relationship with a woman who didn't want children and I did and now she is married with 2 children and I dont have any. Go figure lol I dont have any regrets though and am happy where I am today.  | |
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| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 4/8/2008 5:10:50 PM |
What I'm curious about is how you made it into your 40's without having any children ?
It's a novel new fangled thing called "birth control". It comes in many different kinds most of which are for women but there is also something called condoms and it is used by the man. | |
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| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 4/8/2008 8:33:22 PM | as for a male who is also 40 and childless , I can speak from experience, I wasn't in any
shape to have children as I suffered from severe illnesses during my late teens, up to
my early 30's , also due to that, I was hospitalized constantly and then housebound for 12 years and actually came close to dying once , so in retrospect , I don't miss not having them or bringing children into the world at a time when I simply couldn't have handled it, now I
feel that even though I love my nephews etc, and I'm very good with kids I'll leave kids to others lol , I just feel content now knowing that thankfully I didn't have children , cause if I did their upbringing would have suffered grossly, so not everyone has a chance or choice in this life to simply, luckily for me my health is 90% normal after a very very long climb
out, just wanting to edit here for a sec, I wouldn't hesitate to date a women with kids
and in fact I'm corresponding with one women that has 4 children,
Tony!!
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| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 4/8/2008 8:42:31 PM | From the sound of your post, I would not hesitate to date you because you don't have children. But if you had a problem that I had children (one grown, one almost grown), then you wouldn't date me hopefully. I have been pursued by such a person.
Sometimes I may question those types for all the seemingly fun they are having and lack of self sacrifice they have experienced. And they seem to think that my life can be like theirs. That I can just hop up and go on long trips, etc.
But certainly I wouldn't catagorize you into that unless you became unreasonable as to my limits as to what I can and can't do as a single parent career mom with a teen at home. | |
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| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 4/21/2008 6:42:59 PM | Its nice to see.. blueeyedbaldman.. that you thought responsibly through your life and I don't believe women think less of you if you don't have children. It shows that you are a responsible adult man or have reasons that are beyond your control(like health issues)
I wasn't that "thoughtful" and my ex and I had 2 children by the time we were both 21. I don't regret it..but we didn't use our heads and struggled for a long time while we were both still young. | |
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| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 4/21/2008 8:20:15 PM | No I don't think less of you. Life has taken you down a path which for whatever reasons didn't include children.
For me, the only concern about dating a guy without kids is if he can handle the stuff that comes from being with a woman who does have children. A lot of great men think they can handle it, they get the risks and complications with their heads but it is a whole 'nother thing when you are actually going through it.
Example, say you and I were to hook up and things went fantastic, to the point we were together almost all of the time. You come home from a horrible day and of course this would be the day my 3 kids go into 3 kid syndrome of picking fights with each other, pushing buttons to aggravate and general stuff that happens. My fear is that it can get intense and if you just jump into that life without all the years leading up to this stage of life, it might be too much. Now some guys will rise to the challenge, others will turn tail and run. And there is no crystal ball to say which one you would be.
My ex is going through this with his girlfriend. She only had one kid so she didn't go through the multiple kid syndrome and she has expressed her frustrations where one of my kids overheard it. That has caused a lot of problems. | |
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| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 4/21/2008 8:28:33 PM | | If a man didn't have children, but this is how he explained it, then yes, I'd be concerned, because I might assume that his tolerance for mine would be minimal. However, the way OP explains it, it's completely understandable, and no, I would have no concerns whatsoever about it. | |
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| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 4/21/2008 10:08:24 PM | | Whereas I try to avoid men who have young children since mine is almost grown. Therefore I usually look for men in their 50's as it seems so many men my age have young children. I don't have a problem with a man who doesn't have kids, but I find it a little strange is he has never been married (being that he came from the same generation that I did where people still got married at a young age) . What creeps me out a little is when they talk about how they "love to spend time with their neices and nephews". I have never had neices or nephews myself as I am an only child but for some reason when an unmarried childless older guy says this, it creeps me out. | |
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| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 4/21/2008 11:09:42 PM | I have never thought of it one way or the other, except for the fact that he would have to understand that my kids take up my time and I have less freedom than he would.
My friend dated and married a man who was married twice before and no kids. It was more his exes, that didn't want them and he was fine either way. Well, he has turned out to be the best dad to her kids and loves them as his own. | |
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| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 4/22/2008 2:26:15 AM |
I have never had neices or nephews myself as I am an only child but for some reason when an unmarried childless older guy says this, it creeps me out.
I had an uncle who did not marry until very late, he absolutely adored the nieces and nephews and to us he was just a big kid. Another uncle, whom I absolutely adored and he me, died when I was an adult, it absolutely devestated me. There is nothing wrong with close knit families. As you said, you never experienced it.
People don't and can't have children for all sorts of reasons, does not mean they don't like children. There is not necessarily any perversion when a childless adult loves to spend time with young children. | |
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| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 4/22/2008 6:52:30 AM | | I personally would prefer someone with children because it's a common ground. Having kids is so much a part of your life that you like to discuss it with someone who also has children. I think they understand you better if they are also a parent. | |
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| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 4/22/2008 9:27:01 AM | | It is typical for a woman to believe that a guy with no children probably will not be interested in her because she has children.I have children and some guys have a problem with that.Make it clear in your profile even tho you don't have children, you like children and a woman with children is definately dateable. | |
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| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 4/22/2008 9:28:04 AM | Plenty of my guy friends don't have children and are close to 40 if not over; they have been waiting for the right woman to start a family with and I commend them, nothign wrong with it.
Personally, I wouldn't think a man didn't like kids, if he didn't have them by 40, he could have been active military and was gone and didn't want to put children through that or a wife so he never married and now, he's out and wants that, nobigdeal.
A man is a man regardless if he has children or not; it's what's in his heart and soul that makes him a man, not if he is a parent or not. If a woman thinks its strange that you don't have kids and your are in your 40s and she shys away, don't put too much faith in HER, it's her problem, plenty of other ladies out there who wouldn't and who don't care. As a single mom myself, a man who doesn't have kids, but he likes them, is as great a catch as a man who has kids; it's all a learning and growing process. | |
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| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 4/22/2008 3:14:40 PM | Thank-you valla maldoran for your wisdom on contraceptives.
Unfortunately, like many others when young, neither myself or my ex were thinking of pregnancy/disease when it came to sex back then.
I'm happy to report that both my sons, now 22 and 20, have grown into good descent individuals who respect themselves and the girls they spend time with.
I went from an irresponsible young woman giving birth at 19 to a responsible super mom who took the lessons learned in life and passed it down to my boys. condoms/contraceptives were discussed in my house when the boys were going thru puberty and a box of condoms was always made available in the house since they started high-school. I can't say for sure that the condoms were used for their intended use or if they were used as water-ballons in their early teens. But as of today neither have fathered any children...I take it at some point they both decided to use them for what they were made for.
I have also drilled them with classic rock and blues since very young..but only one is a true fan..the other listens to rap crap. What do you do? I've done my rock&roll duty.
..................................................................... dd101 | |
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| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 4/22/2008 5:34:22 PM | | its so hard to just say women want this and women want that ,you can only hope that you are talking about the majority when its comes to things like that,i will never have any kids because after my parents caused me to become single i have decided that they dont deserve for me to be happy,the other sibling or 50% is but that is only that and she is a girl so go figuer | |
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| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 4/22/2008 10:17:10 PM | It depends on where the woman is at in her life. I dated a 48 year old guy who was never married and didn't have children. We dated for 2 years and one of the reasons e broke up was because he wanted to have a child. I am 46 and a Grandmother I tried to tell him we could look forward to being "grandparents together". Once my daughter had her baby last May our relationship went downhill. He was 48 going on 24...lol
You really can't expect a woman in her 40's to want a baby, not saying that there may be a few out there.
You seem like a good guy, and I'm sure it is your insecurity that is bothering you a lot more then her thoughts about you.
Good luck cutie. | |
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| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 4/22/2008 10:22:48 PM | As long as he liked and welcomed children, it actually could be a great thing.
Just think....... no dealing with their ex and co-parenting issues. Wouldn't have to worry if all the kids got along. Wouldn't have to deal with juggling both schedules with each other's time with their kids. | |
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| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 4/23/2008 12:00:03 PM | | Honestly I like older men and if they don't have children it's a slight plus. I don't descriminate either way i have children myself but to me i would think Wow he is responsible. Because today's society and promiscuity has lead to everyone having a baby momma and to remove that possible complication to me would be appealing. With that said women with children should keep their babys daddy drama in check so as not to scare off good potential men with no children! | |
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