| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 4/23/2008 3:20:06 PM | I personally don't think less of anyone who are in their 40s and don't have children. There are so many reasons why, sometimes it just doesn't happen.
You said she almost looked shocked. Perhaps you misinterpreted her expression as her thinking less of you. Maybe she was just genuinely surprised. It's just that most people at your age have children. Maybe she would consider it a good thing. It's really hard to blend families when people have their own children and try get together.
My guess is that you just misinterpreted it. Good luck! | |
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| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 4/23/2008 6:25:49 PM | no. consider your sample population for your research. a mom. i hear that once women become mothers they forget what it was like to not have kids.
imho, women never expect you to understand their bond with children.
my guess is it's more a question of "will he be good to my kids?" than whether you have your own or not. women don't expect men to have child cravings, anymore than men expect women to have sex cravings.
[silently acknowledging the stereotypical statements here, but still considers them worth stating]
what's real is that women think less of women without children. it's like a badge of achievement. that is, they think less of us until they are left by their guys & want to get their careers going, then all of a sudden they realize we weren't home twiddling our thumbs, we were making money & they want some of that. so there is a view point for every life stage, you just can't generalize that all women think like all women... | |
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| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 4/30/2008 7:06:29 AM | A man with no kids doesn't concern me at all; a man who has never been in any form of long-term or committed relationship by the time he is in his 40's does. Although I try to keep an open mind because most men around my age have kids and by excluding them I would dramatically reduce the number of men available for me to date, I prefer men with no kids or grown kids.
I have met some really nice men lately but the drama associated with dealing with their teenage kids (and in some instances twenty-something kids) and ex-wives or ex-girlfriends has been too distracting for them to really devote the time and attention needed to start a new relationship. | |
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| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 4/30/2008 10:34:59 AM | | I have found, in the past, that I hesitated with men who had no children because sometimes they can't relate. However!!! I have learned that I must take each on their own and not compare or let fear enter. I think women need to share and let you in so you can adjust or understand the situation. Let the walls fall. Hope this helps! | |
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| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 4/30/2008 1:11:06 PM | | I don't think not having children at 43 has anything to do with not liking children. It depends on the man. If he is 43 and looking for a 20 something "breeder" because he "forgot" to have children when he was younger, I am simply thankful that he won't be my problem, but feel slightly sorry for any children he might produce as he is obviously doing it for himself and not for them (not necessarily an indicator that you "like" children either, only that you feel the need to produce someone with your DNA). If he is 43 and looking for women around his own age, with whom he might actually have some things in common, and he is open to being as good a father figure to her children as possible, or is possibly open to adopting a slightly older child, I would have tremendous respect for him. We all make our choices in life and the most quality people accept the things that have gone as planned and appropriately work around the things that have not. They live a lifestyle and make choices appropriate for whatever age range they are in because they are happy with their age. It's the people who spend their lives trying to make up for what they perceive that they missed who end up being problems. | |
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| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 5/2/2008 7:34:08 AM |
MSG#74,Megtastic wrote:Honestly I like older men and if they don't have children it's a slight plus. I don't descriminate either way i have children myself but to me i would think Wow he is responsible. Because today's society and promiscuity has lead to everyone having a baby momma and to remove that possible complication to me would be appealing. With that said women with children should keep their babys daddy drama in check so as not to scare off good potential men with no children! Very well stated Meg. In my case I got married right out of highschool.I worked lots of hours.She didn't.I came home early from work one night "OPPPPPSSSS" She was there in bed with one of my so called friends. DIVORCE ! A few years later I hooked up with a woman that had 2 kids for about 7 years.She had her tubes tied before we met. She was shagin her boss. Split the sheets again. Then hooked up with another gal for 11 years. She had already had her tubes tied after having her second child before I had met her.
Onebeach? I hope you don't think small of me because I have no kids Actually at this age and the shape this worlds in now..I'm not sure I want to bring a baby into this world at my age. There's always the options to addopt.? | |
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| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 5/2/2008 10:33:52 AM | Wow, I didn't think this post was still alive. Thanks for all the positive posts, I appreciate that. I am glad that I am still perceived as a regular guy from most of the responses. Like I said in my original post, I have always loved children but it just didn't happen for me.  | |
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| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 6/1/2008 8:19:47 PM | Not at all. It wouldn't bother me in the least.
For me personally its a red flag as I dont think a person who has never felt the commitment of marriage and kids could ever integrate easily into my world however, I never say never.
You shouldn't ever say never because that's a ridiculous assumption. For whatever reason, you're not married anymore. Why would you be above anyone because you "felt the commitment of marriage and kids" ? | |
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| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 6/1/2008 11:13:13 PM | Yeah, whats the deal. Never been married? No kids? Psycho? Ex con? Gay?
No, no and HELL NO! Marriage is an institution and I'm too sane to be instiututionalized. Wtf? Just never happend. Love kids. Prolly be a great dad. Just never knocked anyone up, thank God! I don't wanna hear, "I'm pregnant!"
I wanna hear, "Can we have a baby honey?"
"Hmmm, let me check my schedule....Uh, YEAH!" | |
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EB1
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Joined: 7/31/2006
Msg: 90 | |
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| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 6/2/2008 9:27:41 AM | | I wouldn't judge a man in his 40s simply based on if he has children or not. There are many different valid reasons why he didn't have kids. I know a few women in their early 40s without kids. These women are perfectly normal. Same thing could to men in the same situation as well. | |
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| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 6/2/2008 10:58:03 AM | I think due to maternal instincts, most (not all) women just can't understand how someone especially past 30 might not have children. And (in my and others I knows) experience, men at this or later age without children tend not to be able to commit to much, don't have the sense of what unconditional love is/are more selfcentered as children require true unconditional love, much more then any other relationship you could have. This is my experience and opinion. It does not apply to ALL childless men.
I have some very close platonic male friends over 30 w/o children but are awesome Uncles/male role models, some of them better role models then men who do have children. I talked with a great friend about this, he said after watching the distaster of marriage/divorce ect in his elder siblings and w/friends he felt it really selfish to have kids at the stage of life he was in, that it would take one heck of a woman and love to change that. I absolutely respect him for his stand/belief.
I used to think those who didn't want kids were so selfish, I don't feel that way anymore, tho I wouldn't trade anything for my children. | |
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| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 6/2/2008 11:23:24 AM |
I think due to maternal instincts, most (not all) women just can't understand how someone especially past 30 might not have children.
I think it's more due to people's idea of an outline for their life. You get married, you get a house, you make kids...
I'm one of those (not all) women. I can totally understand how your life may have just not gone the route towards having children. I could now be one of those in their 40's without kids (I have one) if not for carelessness, lol. I thank God all the time for that carelessness :) But it wasn't something that was in my immediate plan. I was 30 and my biological clock wasn't ticking yet or anything.
So no, I don't think there's anything odd about people of any age that don't have kids. It's a HUGE decision (when it is a decision) | |
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| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 6/2/2008 12:46:18 PM | | After living with a man (who died) who had 7 children, I would rather not be around another with any. No children will make less hassles and/or problems. They may or may not approve of you, they may cause other problems foreseen or unforseen. Of course it is all a risk and some people probably have wonderful kids - but death brings out the worst in a lot of instances. My own children don t even talk to me, so everyone has a different story. | |
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| Do women think less of a guy in his 40s who doesnt have children?
Posted: 8/14/2008 12:25:33 PM | | Don't go by one persons reaction. I know other men in their 40's who don't have children either so your not the only one. And just because some one doesn't have kids doesn't mean they aren't good with them either. Some people never have kids. Not having a child when you were married is probably a good thing. Separation and divorce is always hard on the kids. Although i do have have to say sometimes as hard as it is for them it is better if their parents being together is not a good atmosphere. Myself, when i meet a guy who doesn't have kids whatever age they are I wonder if they will be understanding about the fact that i have kids and can't always get out but i don't assume that thats the ways it is. The fact that i have 4 kids makes it even harder. A lot of guys don't want the responsibility. Some guys who have kids aren't understanding about this. So it depends on the guy. If they aren't understanding i just move on. I think some guys in their 40's can be more mature and more stable depending on the guy. | |
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