| When nice guys go bad...
Posted: 4/7/2008 1:49:30 AM | There are two kinds of nice guys
Nice Guys
And the guys who think they are nice guys but are really just sob stories running around whining about how women don't like nice guys and using emotional/mental manipulation to get what they want.
This guy is clearly the latter. A woman like you, blah blah... Nice for a minute, then the truth comes out... He's classic. And his outburst on the phone was a nice demonstration. You led him on, blah blah...
If nice guys finish last, I'm the most valueless person on earth. But I've never heard a REAL nice guy ever say such crap. Just the ones who get creepy like this one. | |
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| When nice guys go bad...
Posted: 4/7/2008 3:25:41 AM | Altara's nailed it pretty much spot on.
+1
Drop the mangina and get some balls and accountability about your personal life and actions, seriously. ;) | |
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| When nice guys go bad...
Posted: 4/7/2008 8:34:24 PM | I highly disagree about your conclusions Vax and Altara, I am insulted that you think that way, thats norrow minded and it looks like you have some bitterness from past dating and relationships.
See my previous posting. Altara simply is meeting a wolves in Sheeps clothing, many a woman referred to me as a nice guy. Sure nice guys can pose as door mats but dont think for one second I dont have my act together.
Nice guys arent looking for sex, arent looking for drama, we are beyond that, we are deeper than that. We are not the person who looks for chicks at the bar or club and then pick them up and drop them like a hot potato when we are done...we want something meaningful. I could prove it that the concept of a nice guy is true but it would require alot of rambling and I am sure in the end I would of convinced no one. | |
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| When nice guys go bad...
Posted: 4/7/2008 8:52:06 PM | Seattle Artist, there is NOTHING wrong with KNOWING you are truly a nice guy... However I am thinking you don't post that in your profile, or state that you are the nicest guy any woman will ever meet.
Do you?
I don't think nice guys have to be doormats at all..SOMETIMES as a woman that is very strong, independant, if a guy is toooooo nice, we may break things off simply because we don't want to run the man over...
I love a nicely balanced man... Someone who knows his boundaries, and will tell a woman she is crossing the line with him.
I have no doubt from the prior post that you are looking for something real...
I AM a nice gal... And sometimes that has gotten me walked on because I don't want to offend people... HOWEVER I have learned to set up boundaries, and have to remind myself from time to time when I am wavering....
With this guy, he had qualities that made him seem nice... However he was definitely running an agenda, and it totally offended him that I would request a slower pace.
Ya know what, that to me is his loss if he couldn't respect that in me...
Just as for you, if you meet someone that doesn't give you a chance for what ever reason it is THEIR loss.
It is all about knowing that the only person that can truly reject you is YOU... | |
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| When nice guys go bad...
Posted: 4/7/2008 9:18:17 PM | Nexthyme,
Thanks for your reply. Indeed I have noticed this biker babe on my profile who is checking out my profile. Sorry if I embarrass you about that, but hey, I enjoy the attention needless to say I enjoyed your profile as well.
No its not wrong with what I post. I do think Altara was completely wrong in her reasoning that nice guys are just fronts. Thats generalizing and Vaxplant (though he is right most of the time) added to it as well.
Now, I dont mention I am a nice guy because at my age, and from expereince alone, nice guys are over looked. Women 95% of the time want a man who is fun, thrilling, funny etc. I admit I am not what most women are looking for. I am a nerd, geek, fisherman, you name it, I am a rare mix of a fighter (student of war) and an artist but I cannot help that, it runs in the blood. However I am a nice guy and again I will admit I am not looking for sex. I have lost many a date because of my refusal to have sex. I am deeper. But stating I am a nice guy I think might be too misleading, and maybe women might get a red flag if I openly boast about it
BUT
I think I will try it on another site and see what happens. nice guys finish last its true, but in the end, we are the ones who last in relationships and marriage and in successful familes. We won before the race began, we are like the tortise and the rabbit, we pace oursevles, not rushing into things and end the end, we win the race for that woman of our dreams while bad boys get left behind thinking they have it made and figured out. But I dress like a bad boy, maybe that might throw women off. After all, I got the biker boots and jacket and piercings, and no bike. Too bad, I do like the biker women. Thought they are too wild for me. | |
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| When nice guys go bad...
Posted: 4/7/2008 9:32:49 PM | Dude,
you just went off on two people who agree with you and simply phrased it in a different manner.
The only issue I have with what you said (and I do realize that it has a bit to do with your personal situation) is that nice guys like sex too. It's just not the main thing on the agenda. | |
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| When nice guys go bad...
Posted: 4/7/2008 10:20:39 PM | | I read her posting 3 more times before getting it right, she had me fooled and I apologize and take back what I said to dear Altara. Also you Vax. | |
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| When nice guys go bad...
Posted: 4/7/2008 10:35:48 PM | | seattleartist, "Im sure your a nice guy"...But your kinda creepin this thread out..Altara is right to a point...Besides, "do you ever hear nice a guy brag"?...Nah...Because he doesnt have too... | |
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| When nice guys go bad...
Posted: 4/7/2008 11:30:32 PM | | I am differnt Racer, I have been silent for most my life and no one gave a crap about me, I was just another face in the crowd but when I started actually talking with confidence (not to be confused with bragging) I got noticed and liked. | |
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| When nice guys go bad...
Posted: 4/7/2008 11:46:19 PM | | Haha, ok, I wrote upset and posted, and now I see that things have been cleared up, so let me edit to say, it's all good artist :) As long as we all understand what was said in the end! | |
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| When nice guys go bad...
Posted: 4/7/2008 11:50:28 PM | | its all good. but still I disagree with Racer thinking I have cheeped out the thread, if I did than there is no hope for me and my diabolically evil self. | |
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| When nice guys go bad...
Posted: 4/8/2008 6:32:32 AM | seattleartist, "Im not trying to hurt your feelings"...Ok...You do whatever fits you...There is hope for your diabolical evil self!..Take care.... | |
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| When nice guys go bad...
Posted: 4/8/2008 9:06:43 AM | LOL, as the OP, hey pretty odd to be in this positions since this is the 2nd thread I have ever started...
It's all good...
I could tell Seattle Artist appeared to have been a little confused...But that is ok, cause I understand also what it is like when people have made to fast of judgments... Ohhh Seattle, I could introduce you to a few truly diabolical, you don't fit in their club...
Altara, mad or not, YOU did really make a great point...In fact the part about the latter as being a sob story... Oh yes, and the real tricky thing I have learned is that HE WANTED TO FIX ME... THAT IS WHAT qued me off real fast, I don't need fixing, I can take care of me just fine... HAVE NO problems with that, and felt anyone that would come on so strong thinking I needed fixing needed a closer analysis... Apparently that is one thing he really didn't want.
Vaxplant, I agree nice guys DO like sex, just as nice girls do... However I don't think it comes as a main agenda, and leads to a total melt down when things are suggested to be SLOWED DOWN...
Oh racer your just to cute....LOL...Nice guys don't need to wear a banner, nor do they need to say so REPEATEDLY...
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| When nice guys go bad...
Posted: 5/21/2008 11:28:16 PM | I think labling types of people as good or bad is a judgement on likes and dislikes but not the same.
If a you don't like how someone is treating you doesn't make him/her a bad person, it mostly a matter of taste, tollerance, fantasies and interests that puts you off or turns them on.
Some people like the role of someone being controlling/dominate/bad and some perfer the sweet/summissive/nice person. It doesn't matter about the age or evironment that will make a person one way or another, it is the personality and mind set usually it changes depending on the mood and situations and how we act on them.
I am neither a "Bad Boy" or "Nice Guy" - "I am who I am and that's all that I am" and that's from the Bible if you don't know.
Everyone is their own person and all are different in their own way, we all have taste, standards, wants and needs. We are humans with flaws and we are the most adaptable species in the world and can change how we act and behave.
Fined someone that suits your interest and don't change anything but your understanding of the other person's interest and point of view or give up and look somewhere else.
The meaning of Love is when someone else's happies and life is more important than your own. If the other person doesn't so the same then you shouldn't either.
The best way to have a mutiual bound and affection toward eachother is to treat and act the person you want with the exate same way they treat and act toward you. No more and NO less and will have no reason for blame as I see where the relationship issue started.
No one is right and nice, no is bad and wrong, we are all inbetween depending on which side tips on the scale for a short time then tips the other way doesn't mean you are one or the other. Stop steriolizing and Labeling Please I am younger than all of you and I even know this is childish. | |
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| When nice guys go bad...
Posted: 5/22/2008 11:16:34 AM |
I already have more experience and wisdom than someone twice my age...
For someone who has experienced more than people twice your age, it would appear that you may not realize there are others that are that way as well... I will let your youth on this slide, simply because it isn't part of this thread.
Stop steriolizing (was this word supposed to be stereotyping????) and Labeling Please I am younger than all of you and I even know this is childish.
I am not sure if you read the original thread, or just glanced through it...BUT the man that I spoke of, TOLD ME, he was the nicest guy I could ever meet. Then threw a hissy fit when I told him things were moving to fast, and I was NOT ready for a rumble in the hay on the third date as HE planned...
That is NOT labeling anyone, other than what they have labeled themself, which for being SUCH A NICE GUY, it would seem extremely strange that he'd lack the understanding that I was not ready to have sex with him, and felt I needed things to slow down.
The best way to have a mutiual bound and affection toward eachother is to treat and act the person you want with the exate same way they treat and act toward you. No more and NO less and will have no reason for blame as I see where the relationship issue started.
If he were to say to me, things were moving to fast, I would be very respectful of that, and have NO PROBLEM of taking things at a slower pace... Apparently that was not something he felt he needed to consider or do for me, so be it.
The point of the thread was my surprise that someone who had professed his niceness many many many times, that he'd have a problem with taking a step back and slowing the pace down. This clearly demonstrated he was running his own agenda, and that was to get laid, and not to form a solid relationship, that had mutual respect for each other. That is a NOT NICE behavior on his part, call it labeling if you will, however his behavior was not a nice behavior.
I do have a question for you... How can you be a virgin if you state that you go 3-5 hours, and are not able to orgasm? In terms of being a virgin, it is defined as someone that has not engaged in sexual intercourse, not whether you have achieved an orgasm with a woman, or yourself for that matter.
No offense or labeling, just curious on the symatics of terms....
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| When nice guys go bad...
Posted: 5/24/2008 2:51:52 AM | And here I thought this post was done....hahahaha who am I kidding? It was a slow day in Seattle!  | |
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| When nice guys go bad...
Posted: 5/24/2008 9:30:30 PM | If they are to nice I will wonder if I am going to be played, I am smarter then they may think. Sorry guys, but many put up a front at first, they try to pull in women with the to nice of a behavior, the control type, then the nice turns bad.
male or female all need to be on their toes and take things slow to get to know someone. | |
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| When nice guys go bad...
Posted: 7/2/2008 8:23:07 AM | I appauled you on waiting to sleep with someone until later. Most women would appericate getting to know someone first. However the person who started this topic is correct. He is inmature and was not looking for anything long lasting, he should have been up front and honest with you. His loss not yours.
~ Wendy | |
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| When nice guys go bad...
Posted: 7/2/2008 8:35:09 AM | I don't know if you can say the guy wasn't looking for something long lasting. It actually seems as if he was going for "instant relationship soup." People who do that are highly insecure and believe their lives will be better if they are in any relationship. Once rejected, he had to make it seem like it was his idea to not go forward, and I'm sure he was looking for his next victim right away.
Ever notice how so-called "nice guys" are the first ones to complain when a woman doesn't want them? Did it ever occur to them that even if they are nice, maybe you just aren't the right nice guy for me, or her? Why do you have to assume we'll go for a "bad boy" when we decline to date you? I agree with those who said nice guys do not have to advertise their niceness. They simply are. | |
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| When nice guys go bad...
Posted: 7/2/2008 5:58:45 PM | Curls, I sooooo hear ya. If a woman says nah this doesn't work for me, OR like with this toad, moving to fast, let me get to know you first, then all the sudden it is because we want to be with someone sooooo bad....
I have also dealt with the bad, the guy was up front and very direct about his mission, which was to get sex, but even then they get pi$$y, because they are rejected... WELL DUH, if I was just looking to get laid, would I waste my time on an internet dating site, when all I had to do was show up at some bar around closing... (as I vomit at the very thought)
I guess I am at a loss as to what men really want. I've met some nice guys, but I am not what THEY are looking for either, so perhaps I should have a rant that guys only want materialistic gold diggers, and impossible needy women. 
Curls, I do like what you have to say about people wanting that INSTANT relationship, doesn't happen, or if it does, it isn't something that is usually lasting. So I keep fishing, and hope that one day I catch a King Salmon , rather than the rusty old beer cans that I have been catching 
And Mr obsidian (on of my favorite stones...) lol, yep badboys do get rejected for the same reason "the good guys do", you just weren't what they are looking for... The dating world in its finest glory... | |
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shimbo
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Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 48 | |
| When nice guys go bad...
Posted: 7/2/2008 6:16:05 PM |
We had only been chatting for a little over 3 weeks
And still no sex?!
You're past my expiration date, baby! | |
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| When nice guys go bad...
Posted: 7/3/2008 1:27:44 AM |
I've met some nice guys, but I am not what THEY are looking for either...
Na - just too far away to make it work without some serious life altering effort on both parts. ;) | |
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