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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/11/2008 2:29:14 PM | | When I read the OP's thread what I see is a man who maybe isn't at an expiration period or lets just say he doesn't really see the real him... most of these guys that behave that way are still swinging singles hanging out at the bar every week thinking they are real STUDS.... they aren't seriously looking to procreate or if they woke up one day and said to themselves .... hey I am alone... alone with no woman and it's not easy like it was in my 20's and 30's... because let's face it they aren't the jet setters... they stay out to late and drink way to much and their antics are no longer funny.... the women grew up and married or moved on long ago and the young women are chasing or being chased by men their own age who still have beauty... yes we all lose a certain youthful glow and it's not so much being left in the cold without children, because I really think that someone who wants babies has them... but it can be a cold hard reality if you allow yourself to slow down and really look in the mirror and face the fact of where you are today... it can be way to difficult for some people and this goes for women too... keep life in the fast lane and maybe it won't catch up with you... but who's fooled here???? | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/11/2008 2:31:20 PM | Oh, I see lots of men in their mid 40's whose profiles say they want kids. I'm thinking, dude, that ship has SAILED.
If he's rolling in money, he might find someone young enough and willing enough to have kids with him, because there is always the type of women who will go for that kind of thing...but if he's got nothing to offer ($$) I can't see it happening. I'm sure it does happen, but it doesn't happen often.
The time to have thought about wanting to settle down and have a family was 10-15 years ago. If they wanted to do their thing till they were in their 40's, they needn't think the women have been sitting around waiting on them to decide to come home to roost. | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/11/2008 2:31:35 PM | EAGLES LYRICS
"Life In The Fast Lane"
He was a hard-headed man
He was brutally handsome, and she was terminally pretty
She held him up, and he held her for ransom in the heart
of the cold, cold city
He had a nasty reputation as a cruel dude
They said he was ruthless, they said he was crude
They had one thing in common, they were
good in bed
She'd say, 'Faster, faster. The lights are turnin' red."
Life in the fast lane
Surely make you lose your mind, mm
Are you with me so far?
Eager for action and hot for the game
The coming attraction, the drop of a name
They knew all the right people, they took
all the right pills
They threw outrageous parties, they paid heavenly bills
There were lines on the mirror, lines on her face
She pretended not to notice, she was caught up
in the race
Out every evening, until it was light
He was too tired to make it, she was too tired
to fight about it
Life in the fast lane
Surely make you lose your mind
Life in the fast lane, everything all the time
Life in the fast lane, uh huh
Blowin' and burnin', blinded by thirst
They didn't see the stop sign,
took a turn for the worse
She said, "Listen, baby. You can hear the engine
ring. We've been up and down this highway;
haven't seen a goddam thing."
He said, "Call the doctor. I think I'm gonna crash."
"The doctor say he's comin', but you gotta pay him cash."
They went rushin' down that freeway,
messed around and got lost
They didn't care they were just dyin' to get off
And it was life in the fast lane
Life in the fast lane | |
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elisko
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Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 179 | |
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elisko
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Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 180 | |
| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/11/2008 2:47:04 PM | wow. If there are no real people here in this part of the world , or no real women or families....... Wat u doin on this site. ??????????????????:  | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/11/2008 2:53:14 PM | I don't think it is too late. I know men who have had their children later in life and they revel in it.
They've put aside other things that once occupied them and were or seemed important and now focus on family.
Everyone muddles through. | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/11/2008 3:01:00 PM | OP, once again, I'm a little puzzled how you can be so judgmental when you have so little personal experience, in this particular situation, to draw upon. So, do you keep green gum in your purse? Do you have enough for everybody?
You mean about the gum thing? No, I don't keep gum in my purse and don't offer it to anyone. But I TAKE it when offered. Because I'm a huge TAKER and not a GIVER. And I accept the gum and don't put out in return, either.
By the way, stay tuned for my next post which I am calling, Men Who Cause Freezer Burn in Women, and which will read, "Does anyone else notice how the term "frigid" has really almost gone away? I think it's because people have stopped blaming women when they don't want to have sex and have put the blame right back where it belongs, on the men who are responsible for women not wanting to have sex." | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/11/2008 3:15:56 PM | heidi6626 writes:
~Here's the problem. Their value has fallen. Now they are older, balding, one has IBS, one was in a profession that was extrememly well paying back then but not really any more, one has an attitude of "i've had my fun, now it's time to have a family"--is he saying the good times are over and from here on out its watering the lawn and reading the paper? I don't know. ~
------
I believe you are sincere in your view, but to suggest a man's "value" has "fallen" because he is no longer youthful or energetic is a bit offputting to those of us who recognize a person's worth is found in his (or her) character, honor, decency, and capacity for empathy, understanding, and compassion, and these are often the traits that are well cultivated later in life.
I would not consider a woman with "character" lines or graying hair or one who is no longer svelte to be less "worthy" to befriend or bond with (platonically or romantically) . In fact, if, with time, she has managed to become an intelligent, cultured and sophisticate lady, capable of engaging in stimulating conversation (and my interest) regardless of whether she has maintained her physical attributes, I would say her VALUE has enhanced, not diminished, with time.
But don't get me wrong... given the option of dating one of 2 ladies with similar intellects, similar dispositions, similar interests, yes, I would be more inclined to select the "hotter" one. However, if the choice for settling down was between a supermodel twit or a more substantial woman with all the noncosmetic qualities I mentioned earlier, I'd go with the latter.
TJ | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/12/2008 1:41:37 AM | | Wow, Heidi, both barrels. Ouch,just cause I asked if you have gum in your purse? Sorry, it was not my intention to offend. Why is Elvis's "burnin' love" going thru my head? | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/12/2008 3:35:13 AM |
By the way, stay tuned for my next post which I am calling, Men Who Cause Freezer Burn in Women, and which will read, "Does anyone else notice how the term "frigid" has really almost gone away? I think it's because people have stopped blaming women when they don't want to have sex and have put the blame right back where it belongs, on the men who are responsible for women not wanting to have sex."
Enjoy your cats in your spinsterhood.
Seems in your old age you have a not-so-hidden desire to lay blame on (largely) men without the self-examination you require of others, and not yourself.
You're not in your 20s anymore. Stop playing games. | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/12/2008 8:24:59 AM | | PixyDust, that's funny, when I think of Eagles songs which pertain to this thread,"Wasted Time" comes to mind. Have you listened to "Hell Freezes Over" yet? | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/12/2008 8:47:16 AM | Of course they ain't past their expiration date.
Sure, a guy who is over 40 will now have trouble getting a younger girl, but he shouldn't have any trouble getting a woman who is around his age as long as he's still quite succsefull. Even if he isn't, it still shouldn't be too hard.
As for kids, well, if the guy was serious about having kids I'm sure he would've had them by now, even if in his younger years all he wanted to do was work hard play hard, as most men wouldn't want to have kids when they're past the age of 40 as they'll view it as too old to be having kids, which I guess I agree with. | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/12/2008 9:10:00 AM | These days a lot of guys in their 40s are childless and then suddenly want kids. It doesn't occur to them they will need to meet a much younger woman to fulfil their desire. I'd have thought that younger women looking for older guys are looking for financial security. If the guy is willing to give this in return for children then they both bring something to the relationship.
You are right in that there has to be something to attract a young woman to an older man and if they have neither the good looks or the money, who would want them....only a woman of their own age.
One thing is for sure though, a wife of child bearing age will not think he is so attractive in 10 or 15 years time when she is still in her 30's and he is nearly 60! | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/12/2008 9:21:02 AM | | There aare however some men in thier 40s who have paid child support and are done...and if they chose to pursue younger women that is up to them and the people they date. I know people who are 10 years younger than but really 10 years older...most important is just to be WHO you are! | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/12/2008 9:36:05 AM | As stated previously I had my first child at 42, the second at 45. I really had no idea that I had passed my expiration date OP. I thought I was just hitting my stride. I have yet to buy that aluminum walker and still feel like I did in my 30s. At least as I can recall...
But NOW your post has......
Sorry... | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/12/2008 12:48:25 PM |
Oh, I see lots of men in their mid 40's whose profiles say they want kids. I'm thinking, dude, that ship has SAILED.
If he's rolling in money, he might find someone young enough and willing enough to have kids with him, because there is always the type of women who will go for that kind of thing...but if he's got nothing to offer ($$) I can't see it happening. I'm sure it does happen, but it doesn't happen often.
The time to have thought about wanting to settle down and have a family was 10-15 years ago. If they wanted to do their thing till they were in their 40's, they needn't think the women have been sitting around waiting on them to decide to come home to roost.
LOL... wow, and Women talk about how men are shallow. How about a guy that wasnt one of those "bad boys" ?? You know the guy that has a job, takes care of his responsibilities, pays for his own bills.... Not that guy that every woman seems to find herself drawn to.... How about those guys? Or are they just good enough to take care of you and your kidlets after you have found out that you cant change him, and all he was doing is using you..?? How would you feel if you got told, "Nope, sorry, you used everything you had, wasted it on that bad boy, Your ship has sailed... See ya"
These days a lot of guys in their 40s are childless and then suddenly want kids. It doesn't occur to them they will need to meet a much younger woman to fulfil their desire. I'd have thought that younger women looking for older guys are looking for financial security. If the guy is willing to give this in return for children then they both bring something to the relationship.
You are right in that there has to be something to attract a young woman to an older man and if they have neither the good looks or the money, who would want them....only a woman of their own age.
One thing is for sure though, a wife of child bearing age will not think he is so attractive in 10 or 15 years time when she is still in her 30's and he is nearly 60
Maybe its occured to them that they are getting older, and are sick and tired of being set aside or dismissed as "boring" or "unexciting" while you go squeeze out a couple of kids for some jerkweed you know for a fact isnt good for you... (not you specifically) but none the less. Women want to run around with all those "exciting" guys that trip their triggers.... usually with lasting memories, ie.. kidlets... Then want to find some guy who is stable to raise thier little brats....
Maybe those stable guys are finally coming back to saying, "Hey, what about me" ??? | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/12/2008 12:51:00 PM |
Seems in your old age you have a not-so-hidden desire to lay blame on (largely) men without the self-examination you require of others, and not yourself.
I don't know dark angel..I mean I'm all for your point that men have been mistreated to some extent..and some of the points you make....but, do you really believe all women are mean and bitter? And does humor or irony escape you? You, yourself, never say anything nice about women that I've read, and how is that different? | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/12/2008 1:42:26 PM | Alot of women can have babies in their forties. years ago when people had big families
it was considered normal for a woman to have a baby in her forties. They had support from older children.
The africans have babies in their forties when their other kids grow up, because they say it keep you young. They do as well. | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/12/2008 10:56:59 PM |
Maybe its occured to them that they are getting older, and are sick and tired of being set aside or dismissed as "boring" or "unexciting" while you go squeeze out a couple of kids for some jerkweed you know for a fact isnt good for you... (not you specifically) but none the less. Women want to run around with all those "exciting" guys that trip their triggers.... usually with lasting memories, ie.. kidlets... Then want to find some guy who is stable to raise thier little brats....
Just a wee bit of generalizing there smuggler? As I neither have any children, nor have I ever been with a "bad boy" married or otherwise, and I'm sure I'm not the only one...though I'm sure those women exist, I find it hard to believe they are the majority, which makes me wonder if it's due to men chasing the same kinds of women all the time? And how is that different than the women who chase the bad boys? And aren't younger women subject to the same propensity?
If men in their forties want to start a family...and can find someone that is willing too..so what..their life, their choice...however, I think what some older women are really talking about, and it is pretty prevalent from the men I've known...is that it more often has more to do with the male mid life crises, and the usual preference for younger women...an attempt to recapture their youth, which granted some women do the same, but, more I know don't. We tend to accept that we are older, and we just can't have some of the things we did when we were young, or some of the things we missed out on...not sure if that is just a mars/venus thing or what...but, if someone ( older women) is interested in dating someone in their age range, I'm sure it gets pretty frustrating for them...
And it doesn't help that many men on here go out of their way to tell us how " expired" we are..or undateable...while bragging that they aren't...which may be true for some, but, I doubt for all....seems if there wasn't a grain of truth in what is being said, there would be no need for them to get so defensive.... | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/12/2008 11:22:08 PM |
I don't know dark angel..I mean I'm all for your point that men have been mistreated to some extent..and some of the points you make....but, do you really believe all women are mean and bitter? And does humor or irony escape you? You, yourself, never say anything nice about women that I've read, and how is that different?
It's different because men are still getting shut down and shut up. It's different because unlike others I don't give a shit when someone who purposefully threw the gauntet and and enters a fighting arena, then might cry foul when their opponent strikes back. I don't care if I come across as embittered and curt---those who get hung up on my totality are timid about my content. I say what the unorthodox are thinking but don't want to appear as too extreme or lose approval with women. I claim what those who don't have the articulation want to express.
I will give the OP credit for not slagging everyone who vehemently disagrees, even her actions are questionable.
And you must have missed my posts on how there were women that stated men should have the same options to find themselves in their younger years, just like women are given license to do so. I agreed with them and found it refreshing. It's uncommon on POF. When a woman is blatantly pro-masculine, even if I didn't agree with every detail, I might even encourage it. Unfortunately, it's almost a rarity, and since my Internet time has spread thin between several avenues, this area is where I become more polemic and leave stronger barbs. There's reasons for it.
The OP has made herself clear and will not take any responsibility for it. She's opened herself and her message up for criticisms, and plays a half assed evasive tactic in one of her posts, but the thread was meant to be self-promoting while at the same time degrading towards men in a fashion. I maintain that if the same topic had the genders reversed, the thread would have garnered a slew of angry responses (mostly from women and a few men that defended them) and eventually deleted. Here, we have only a handful of posters reacting towards it as biased and a few pot shots, but no where near the caustic remarks the hypothetical situation would have generated, and the thread hasn't disappeared.
Very telling, isn't it?
You say something that virtually no one here wants to consider because even the mere possibility is actually frightening to them. While I don't believe that all women are bad and malevolent, I do think a staggering amount do not truly realize what men go through. I don't think this modern condition is germane to women throughout time, but I have come to the reluctant conclusion that many women simply don't respect or love men very much, and it's far from my own experiences.
Call me cynical; time and experience will only continue to bring that truth to the fore.
This thread is one of god knows many that is amply evidence of this, even in cyberspace, it reflects what I usually just hint at. It's not the only theme, but I reserve them for other sites where people will actually debate them rather than dismiss what is obvious. At this point, I don't even completely blame "feminism" for the resentment many women have towards men, as much as the people who embrace garbage that's anti-male.
At some pivotal point, you have accept the ramifications of your beliefs, especially if they make you appear sterling and good while hurting others in the process. If men cannot be exempt of this, then neither can women.
Many men don't ruminate about how this effects us; we're supposed to be tough in the face of adversity and take the abuses, both social and personal. And speaking of what men go through and mistreatment, I think if many men sat down and thought about the myriad of injustices against them, they would be outraged. But even men get sucked into their own denial of being "real men" to those who would use them so they can look and act the part. In some sense, I suppose it's what keeps things going and that the societal machinery doesn't grind to a halt, but men also have to rise above themselves to a certain extent Western culture calls for; self-sacrifice and compromise.
I think you can safely assume I am not one of those men that views nobility in that for myself, but exploitation. If it makes me a "misogynist" simply because I value my person above social obligation (which is often code for elitist pricks that use others to advance their gain and push their own agendas), I really wonder why anyone would care. I think it strikes down deeper than many here, of either gender, is often willing to admit. And if it means taking a devil's advocate viewpoint and deepening my talons on a poster that acts untouchable and beyond sexual critique, so be it.
The odd thing is that, for the longest time, I was very much into gender reconciliation. Just about everyone talks as if it's a good thing; most don't really want it. I'm just firing off a few proverbial shots now and again to make sure no one gets totally absorbed in this matriarchal-style slumber which ultimately benefits very few.
Maybe those stable guys are finally coming back to saying, "Hey, what about me" ???
I think men in general should have to ask that of themselves more and more, out of rational self-interest, and ignore all the hollow chants of "sexist" and "arrogant" that would deviate them from their own vision. | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/12/2008 11:38:53 PM | Another perspective. Some of these men have been married most of their adult life. And their other half has discarded them for what ever reason. Maybe because they can. Or because they feel their partner is no longer of value to them,or their partner is "untrainable"and they do not feel the need to keep their commitments in life. Like maybe they know they will end up with the house,and support. And he will have to start over, Again! And your right. "Here's the problem. Their value has fallen." like you say. Why else do you think any of them would be here dealing with condescending put downs from people like you? Or maybe they just like young widows with children who they are trying to raise on their own. How about it displaced families without fathers, Anyone looking for a replacement? JD
PS: still not trainable  | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/13/2008 9:30:22 AM |
this area is where I become more polemic and leave stronger barbs. There's reasons for it.
So, basically what you are saying is that you take the extreme side in order to make a point and it doesn't reflect your whole "person". I can accept that..however, do you not think, as the old adage says "you get more flies with honey, than vinegar?" Seems to me, and I know I don't have all the answers, that polemic encourages more defensiveness and resistance? I always thought that if you wanted people to be influenced to see your side of things, that it worked better if you weren't insulting? But, maybe , that is just me..I'm one who tends to see both sides of a story anyway, especially if presented in an intelligent, thoughtful way...
Both genders whine, ****, and use satire to complain on POF. I've seen just as many threads from the point of view of men attacking women, whether it be about "expiration" ( which oddly enough, is 30 for women it appears, not 40..lol..I have a thread on my forums list right now that says that very thing, and yes, some women agree, some defend the OP, some men defend the Op, some agree ( and often in not nice ways), ), gold digging, not liking nice guys, etc, etc...I see no monopoly by gender on being mean, vindictive, whiny, generalizing, or just plain clueless...and a point should be made about the entertainment value a lot of posters are well aware of...these kinds of things attract people...look at the way TV has gone...
I guess I haven't given up on the idea of gender reconciliation, but, then, I'm an eternal optimist, and a keeper of the peace..I'd like to discuss valid ideas, or the truth in some generalizations without all the bashing, sigh, but, I know I must be in the minority. | |
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