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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/13/2008 11:30:28 AM |
Just a wee bit of generalizing there smuggler? As I neither have any children, nor have I ever been with a "bad boy" married or otherwise, and I'm sure I'm not the only one...though I'm sure those women exist, I find it hard to believe they are the majority, which makes me wonder if it's due to men chasing the same kinds of women all the time? And how is that different than the women who chase the bad boys? And aren't younger women subject to the same propensity?
Nope, there was NOTHING wee bit about it... it was a generalization, period. As evidence, how many single mothers are on POF looking for the second or third guy?
If men in their forties want to start a family...and can find someone that is willing too..so what..their life, their choice...however, I think what some older women are really talking about, and it is pretty prevalent from the men I've known...is that it more often has more to do with the male mid life crises, and the usual preference for younger women...an attempt to recapture their youth, which granted some women do the same, but, more I know don't. We tend to accept that we are older, and we just can't have some of the things we did when we were young, or some of the things we missed out on...not sure if that is just a mars/venus thing or what...but, if someone ( older women) is interested in dating someone in their age range, I'm sure it gets pretty frustrating for them...
The male midlife crisis... in an attempt to capture lost youth... Have you ever considered that maybe going for the younger women because they have NOT gone through thier "female" midlife crisis is when menapause comes in to play, at which she becomes some raging hormonal psycho, who is ready to take it out on any man that may be available... The younger women are usually more enjoyable... Of course, this is just an observation on my part...
I like how you suggest that men are not as stable and more erratic in thier choices, especially with the sentence... "We tend to accept that we are older, and we just can't have some of the things we did when we were young" Ummm yeah, and so instead of getting exactly what you want, you start in on the divorce circuit... which is about the same time frame. | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/13/2008 11:41:51 AM | | I am nowhere near an expiration date. And I am free of the preservatives that extend shelf life. For I don't need that. Maybe it's genetics, but I look younger than my chronological age. And I think, and act younger too. At least that's what most people tell me. Although some people also tell me that I act like a 2 year old at times. lol. | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/13/2008 1:02:17 PM |
Have you ever considered that maybe going for the younger women because they have NOT gone through thier "female" midlife crisis is when menapause comes in to play, at which she becomes some raging hormonal psycho, who is ready to take it out on any man that may be available... The younger women are usually more enjoyable... Of course, this is just an observation on my part...
My observation has been that 40+men chasing after younger women, REGARDLESS of the stated reason( wants kids, believes ancient myths about menOpause) are really doing it because Willy is becoming difficult and unreliable, and placing the blame for that on the alleged unattractivenss/unpleasantness of 40+ women is easier than facing up to reality.
Cindy O | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/13/2008 1:14:01 PM | Don't forget the fundamental demographics:
At the age of 45 many more men have died than women. There is a real split.
Supply and demand suggest that the shortage of males can tend to increase their "market" value.
Just how many 45 year old, reasonably attractive, employed, stable males are out there willing and interested in marriage to a woman with children? I believe less than there are single woman with children, etc. | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/13/2008 1:55:09 PM |
Just how many 45 year old, reasonably attractive, employed, stable males are out there willing and interested in marriage to a woman with children?
But the topic/focus of the original post was men over 40 looking for significantly younger women in order to father children of their own, NOT women with children looking for a 45 or older man to provide for/parent her existing children.
And from where I sit, I see a lot of over 45 men might want to consider women with children if they want a significantly younger partner for WHATEVER reason.
I personally don't have kids, but I can't help but think, having a greater degree of financial security& social acceptance for herself and her kids might cause some 20 or 30something women to overlook bellies and wrinkles and being poked at with a half limp weinie...
Just offering that as food for thought.
Cindy O | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/13/2008 4:48:16 PM |
Have you ever considered that maybe going for the younger women because they have NOT gone through thier "female" midlife crisis is when menapause comes in to play, at which she becomes some raging hormonal psycho, who is ready to take it out on any man that may be available...
Well, smuggler..I'd guess you are hanging around the wrong "menopausal" women..lol..the only bad side effects I've had are some short term memory loss, I now need bifocals, and I'm more sentimental than I used to be ( and that's saying something)..and anything else that may happen..there are treatments for that...and I never been a "raging hormonal psycho"...and I really try, can't say I always succeed, to not take anything out on men...and besides, young women can be ****es too..has nothing to do with age, I don't think..more like personality..
And , also, in my head my "mid life" crisis was when I turned 40..not 50..and the only thing I remember changing was an increased sex drive ( which was also saying something)..lol...
I am not really saying if middle aged men want to date younger women, for whatever reason, that they can't..I'm only saying maybe they should be honest with themselves why... | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/13/2008 6:33:51 PM |
As stated previously I had my first child at 42, the second at 45. I really had no idea that I had passed my expiration date OP. I thought I was just hitting my stride. I have yet to buy that aluminum walker and still feel like I did in my 30s. At least as I can recall...
But NOW your post has......
Sorry...
For some reason this reminds me of "go directly to jail, do not pass go". lol | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/13/2008 6:49:33 PM | Expiry date? Barring health issues? Do you live in a bubble?
People die in accidents, vehicle, drowning, wars, gunfire, and you think we have a general expiry date?
You sound angry because of envy, maybe that's why your single!
Get the chip off your shoulder, and maybe then you might see the light.
Remember, negative attracts negative, and vice versa.
If you don't change your attitude, you'll be singing this tune for a long time, and why waste that time, by being negative.
It's their life, just worry about your own.
Sorry, just calling a spade a spade. | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/14/2008 11:04:40 AM | and, now, he realizes he should have married a woman his own age. Now that’s a lot of baggage for a woman his own age to deal with—why should she? How devalued is he NOW?
Do you know for a FACT that he "realizes he should have married a woman his own age."?
Now that’s a lot of baggage for a woman his own age to deal with—why should she? How devalued is he NOW?
Well, for a woman who recognizes that he MARRIED to have kids(as opposed to having the kids out of wedlock to evade some financial obligations), DIVORCED when it stopped working(as opposed to staying in the marriage and running around looking for side dishes) and actually PAYS his child support (instead of using it as a tool to punish the ex), he might appear as a man who's intentions are good and having his heart in the right place. To a woman who has HER heart in the right place, and seeks things of TRUE value, (like love, respect, honor, decency) rather than how much money and time she can get out of him, I'd say his value might be very high.
BTW,and I have this on very good authority;
viagra might put a little starch in that Vienna, but it won't make it bigger than it really is.
And the whole "menopause psychosis" thing? Guys, do a little research! There are so many options for easing this life transition. The concept of the "menopausal manhater" is just another outdated myth/excuse for men to run after younger women. And from what I've seen in my time on the planet, all too often the younger women who choose to be caught by these aging bulls ARE after material security/money/good provision for their kids. If he kicks off leaving a hefty life insurance benefit, she's got it made!
Don't get me wrong. If a man prefers to date younger women, that's fine. Why get defensive by using old myths as excuses? It makes you look something of an ass, quite frankly. I think most confident and intelligent women of ANY age see men's blaming "hormonal issues" as utterly LAME.
Cindy O | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/14/2008 11:58:59 AM | OK my 2 cents worth.
There are a lot of guys that have passed their expiration date....because they chose too! Me I am 51 but I am a man...my expiration date is the day they throw dirt in my face 6 feet down.
Most guys live a life of being a servant to others and never being the leader or master of their own life. The female that started this I can see your point of view but there is 2 SIDES to the story. Most guys get married and the female thinks that the thing between her legs is part gold so what does the average female do...gain 500 pounds and then fuss about romance not happening anymore. DUH!! First that thang between the legs is no different than the next female or the one down the street or across the world so NO it is not gold....it is average...there is more to attraction than you having a slit on the bottom.
Now I am not going to defend the guys of the world that have no clue as how to please a female....this is the other side of the problem...so yes both sides are at fault. Now anything below 30 in my eyes is a waste of my time....they are usually still in the drama of a teen ager! Anything over a 160 pounds is also a waste of my time...I keep in shape always have but if a female is not trying to keep in shape to attract a man and/or please her man then I am not wasting my time. I know what I like and will settle for nothing less. My preferred age range is 30 to 53 but there are exceptions if I find a female attractive(to ME) and she is fun with a great personality(again to ME) then I am open to that interaction.
The next problem is that the females are the ONES that are waiting until their biological clock starts to ring and now it is a rush to find a mate to have children and in doing that alot of BAD marriages are happening....because there is an agenda not a time to find and know someone before getting married or in a serious relationship.
So guys with expiration dates sorry they exist...men on the other hand do not have an expiration date. Men that love themselves so much they have extra to love another...men that lead not follow....men that enjoy life but take very little or NO bullshit....men that know what intimacy is all about and know how to please a woman and enjoy doing that for their female friend are never expired unless they died. | |
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PeterC
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Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 214 | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/16/2008 9:52:22 AM | So, one of those men I wrote about, I heard from him a couple of days ago (I haven’t heard from him in a couple of years). It turns out that he is married now, to a woman just two years younger than himself, who has two little children from a previous marriage, one of which has a congenital heart problem and has been in and out of the hospital numerous times. They are expecting a baby together in a few months.
He met her at work; he’s known her for several years. They started talking at a company happy hour, went out a few times, he realized how very much they have in common and how compatible they are. He said she is very sweet, loving and respectful to him.
He said (and he’s 51 now) that at some point he realized that he could go on looking forever for his “dream girl” but meanwhile the sand was running into the bottom of the hourglass. And somehow the craziness of trying to find a patch of sanity in one of the younger women he’d been dating as compared to the ease of being with this woman he married seemed even more insane than it did before. So he married her. | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/16/2008 10:23:03 AM |
Do you think it's realistic for these men to hope that they will find a woman young enough to bear children, that has everything going for her that they had going for them back in the day, and start a family with them from scratch?
Sometimes the best way to encounter acceptance and understanding is to be the first to offer it to another. No one enjoys being told that their age has devalued them as a mate, regardless of their gender. I don't think its right when men do it to women or when women do it to men.
The truth is we all have dreams and there are plenty in the world who will tell us our dreams are too lofty for the likes of us. "You're too old/ugly/short/stupid/poor/fat/flawed to have that dream." Why care if someone else's dream seems out of reach for them? Wish them well. Compassion is free, so why not give it? | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/16/2008 11:59:43 AM | There are so many options for easing this life transition
oh boy.... You are right... There are lots of things for "easing this life transition," what was I thinking.
I wonder what they would be.....
Divorce
Abandonment
French Foreign Legion
Actually I was referring to the many MEDICAL/herbal/homeopathic solutions available to WOMEN going thru this transition.
I find it very telling that you took my comment and made it about how MEN can ESCAPE.
And women also have medical/exercise/surgical options available to tighten up "slot B", if it becomes needful. Incidentally, that issue is GENERALLY from having given birth to children. That 25 yr old hotties love tunnel will stretch, too, after she's popped out a couple of kids.
Smuggler 1, might I RESPECTFULLY AND AFFECTIONATELY suggest you shut up about menopause before you embarrass yourself any further?
If you prefer to date women markedly younger than yourself, then by all means do so. But stop with the lameass excuses already!
Cindy O | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/16/2008 12:08:09 PM | | o wow. i think its worst to be a 49 year old woman than to be a man in his mid or late 40s! face it, age can even add value for some older men. grey hair, etc, can make a man look wise and distinguished (ie, george clooney). but the older a woman gets, the more people think of her as a hag (cher). i dont know y ur picking on old(er) men! u seem bitter about something. i think u should actually be worrying about ur own value falling : ) | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/17/2008 6:59:37 AM | I would not say women like Madonna, sharon stone, marie helvin, were passed their expiry date. Alot of older women look good today and are sylish and more confidant and wiser than ever.
The majority of younger women do not want older men, if they have an array of choice of men around their own age what do they want a man 20 years older for.
Their is also the problem of daddy substitues wanting someone strong and nurturing to take care of her the relationship she may have lacked growing up. Its not always the case but can be.
Their is also the problem of health as the mans health declines she may not be too keen on being his caregiver expassilly if she wanted someone to nurture her.
Their are some unscruplous people around who are more interested in his money than his personality, so before he settles down he better be sure he knows her well and her intentions, before she runs off with the pool boy. | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/17/2008 8:27:03 AM | Some men have big ego,s, they must have a kid that is their own. If they really wanted it that way they should of thought of that when they were younger.
Derek Prince met a woman who had seven adopted african children and he married her and they are older now and say he was a great dad.
He was blessed by having them all.
I dont think most younger woman want a man alot older than them. So that would take away the majority of the younger female generation and then he would need to take away those who were just after security and money and then if a woman scussed out he only wanted her to be a baby making machine I am sure they would not be interested and so he would be left with a short supply and then their may be those who already have children so he would not be interested in them. He would then need to subtract career women who are not ready for settling down, and then he would need to find the one with right he was compatible with , Then their are woman who do not want children, cannot have children and as adoption would be out of the question as it has to be his own child.
Then again if he has a nice personality he might find a good woman but if he did not have a nice personality that would not add to his dwindling short supply of women.
They he would have competition with other older men who wanted much younger for breeding, this does not all paint a very promising picture. So much for the male ego. Poor man. | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/17/2008 9:00:38 AM | To judge someone harshly is to be judged harshly ourselves eventually.
Why not just let people decide who to love and wish them well. People learn so much from relationships. Each of us has to find out where we are coming from. How honest we are with ourselves and others. What won't work for one person will work for another. It's all fine until someone uses or abuses another. And even then some people will put up with the worst things for years!
You name the situation. I've been there. Currently I am 58 and single and loving every minute of it. I learned how to like my own company while living alone in nature for 8 years. Now it doesn't matter if I meet the man of my dreams or not. If I do it will require a great deal of adjustment on my part for sure. If he adds to my life I'd be a fool not to go for it.
Love is the desire to give. Lust is the desire to take.
I used to say I'd marry the first redneck with a chainsaw ....but then I bought a chainsaw!
When I was young I paired up with those who were 15 to 20 years older than I was. Now it seems I'm attractive to 35-45 year olds. It's a blast. Men who are older are usually already in a relationship or burned badly and carrying a lot of baggage. But I bet there are still some real darlings out there who are 40, 50, 60 and older.
The important thing is to live in the present, don't judge anyone, keep an open heart and mind, be a good person and see what happens. We don't have to go hunting for what belongs to us. It will find us even if we hide under the covers.
I've met a lot of young people who seem to have met their "expiry date".....because of attitude. Draggin' their butts and being miserable. Not giving anything to life.
Ageism is like racism and sexism and all the other isms. | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/17/2008 9:04:15 AM | I never became a raging hormonal psycho when I went thru menopause. I object to THAT generalization. Smuggler1. Neither did my mother. Older women are much in demand by younger men because they are less apt to freak out over a tiny thing. They see the bigger picture. (a safe generalization) | |
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| Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date
Posted: 4/17/2008 1:56:27 PM | | First of all what do you care? If women accept these guys then what is it for you to make a judgement on them. There are tons of women that contact me that show pictures of themselves in college and they were stunning. Now they are older, dont' look as good, have multiple kids, some have multiple race kids, some with several different men, and now they want to find a nice guy. Literally half of my emails from women are this. I dont have a lot of baggage in my life and I've kept it that way. They have TONS of baggage and now I'm going to go for that? I have a choice; I choose not to be a part of it. But your ridiculous. Your acting like these younger women dont have a choice; it takes 2 to tango. I think your statement is ridiculous. Your acting like these poor women have no choice and are victims; they aren't. God gave us a great word when we dont want to do something; NO. Stop playing the victim card when there is no victim. | |
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