(OP) I believe you can make love to a person without being IN love with that person.
Absolutely!
(Msg 8) You have NEVER fantasized about something when you've made love with an SO? Ever?? Even if it was to think of the two of you in some out-of-this-world location that really turns you on or to think of your SO in a particular piece of lingerie that maybe she didn't wear that night?
I have never fantasized when having sex/making love. I find that difficult to understand why or how anyone could. What is better than having sex? The physical participation, the scents, the visual stimulation…..my mind was full of what was happening at the time.
I suppose an analogy would be someone saying they were daydreaming while riding on the roller coaster. The thrill of the ride precludes ones mind from wandering to other things. The same occurs when I’m involved in sex. There is so much input to process my mind stays focused on the here and now.
I suppose if one wasn’t turned on they’d fantasize but, again, I’ve never experienced that. If it’s come to the point where I’m having sex with someone I’m already turned on.
That also applies to the question whether one can make love to someone they don’t have feelings for. Simply by the fact the person is participating in an activity one finds highly enjoyable or being with someone who makes one feel so good it’s reasonable to conclude they must have good feelings about the person. If someone enjoys making me feel that good how can I not have good feelings for them?
IMO, this has a direct bearing on why relationships do not last today. People tend to be more “logical” when selecting a mate. Activities, interests and other things more associated with friendship-type relationships are used to determine a suitable romantic companion.
It’s frequently said if two people are compatible in other things sex will naturally happen. The problem with that is, yes, sex will happen, but the passion is not there. The sexual link between the man and the woman will be based on things other than chemistry or desire. There is no depth to the sexual connection. It’s not chemical. It’s not innate. As the things change upon which the desire for sex is predicated , be it anything from activities to political views, the connection is lost.
Home
login 
