| why are MEN over 40 so desperate to get married??
Posted: 4/6/2008 1:05:54 PM | ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"or at least a FWB." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
See what I mean???? An FWB! That's what the men I meet are alllll looking for.. right there in a nut shell. No g/f.. a f*ck buddy.. when "they" want to f*ck.. and when they don't or you won't.. it's.. do I know you???
Thanks for putting the truth out there Hold da fries. | |
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| why are MEN over 40 so desperate to get married??
Posted: 4/6/2008 6:15:01 PM | Okay,hold da fries,
So ! Your generalization includes the fact that there are no men out there like me. I just want to date (D-A-T-E,not S-E-X),either one at a time (or 2 or 3,if they all interest me as well), and if I see potential with one,then just date that one and let it develop into an intimate relationship.
If that is true,then seems as if there's no hope for any future dates or relationships.
..........Unless I become a lesbian of course | |
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| why are MEN over 40 so desperate to get married??
Posted: 4/6/2008 8:12:19 PM | There are those who want to get married and those who do not. I suggest the OP make it clear in her profile that she is only interested in dating. In my now deleted profile I made it clear that I was interested in either a LTR or marriage though my stated preference was dating toward that end.
The responses to this thread appear to show both views by both sexes so better clarification of ones long term goals in profiles may be in order. | |
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| why are MEN over 40 so desperate to get married??
Posted: 4/6/2008 8:40:48 PM | So why the rush...I mean for men and women?
The urge to conform?
Statistically married men, the quality of the marriage being only a minor factor, tend to live significantly longer. Why is open to speculation at this point. Though I'm not sure living an extra year or two in an unhappy relationship makes it worth while.
I suspect as well, given our popular notions about marriage--which differ from those of a generation or two ago--that men are at least marginally less damaged by earlier experience in marriage or are able to heal more quickly (Though the fact that marriage tends to extend their life may challenge this notion).
On the whole I suspect that the men your meeting desire for marriage may have to do with more than just themselves. Honey attracts flies. And the fact that you limit yourself to "dating" may be seen by some groups of men as a "challenge." | |
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| why are MEN over 40 so desperate to get married??
Posted: 4/6/2008 10:29:00 PM | OP I am not sure what your day job is, but if I were you I certainly wouldn't consider leaving it any time soon for that position over at the Institute for Theoretical Studies. Your complete hypothesis is nothing but hogwash and gender generalization based solely on the limited experience of yourself and some of your girlfriends, and gender generalizations as a rule really chaps my hide.
Which leads me to my final theory...Men need women a heckuva lot more than women need men,especially in later years!
I nearly bust a gut laughing over this one. Not for nothing sweetie, but the only reason I or any other man might need a woman in later life is because she does a damn better job keeping our old bones warm on those long winter nights than a dog does. She simply has more surface area. That said, a good old fashioned quilted blanket can do the same thing, but isn't half as enjoyable. So please do us both a favor and try not to think so highly of what you bring to the table in that regards.
Contrary to what you might believe, not any and all men are looking to get hitched regardless of what their age is. Beyond the making of "legitimate" babies, I personally never much saw the use of a legal piece of parchment so far as "proclaiming my love" for another goes. Seeing as how those baby making days are behind me now, I don't see much point to the institution as it stands. The way I see it, the first wife got half of what I had, the second got half of what was left, so it would be downright fiscally irresponsible of me to allow someone I truly cared about to marry me, knowing full well what is left for her to take. Of course then again I am also not looking to date some woman who is dating every Tom, Duke, and Larry that takes a fancy to her either. So there ya go.
Have fun ;)! | |
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| why are MEN over 40 so desperate to get married??
Posted: 4/6/2008 11:25:21 PM | | interseting thread since i just posted a thread about want verses need, i find i dont need anyone, would like to add someone but certainly not need, been down the road to marriage, not anxious to go there again without much thought and time, not jumping into anything to quickly. after a divorce you wonder how you could have been so far off base in your thinking about a partner. its been going on 7 years for me, and still seeking that special person, however with that being said, i dont know who your talking to, but women have always had the upper hand, not the men. | |
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| why are MEN over 40 so desperate to get married??
Posted: 4/7/2008 1:44:54 AM |
****I wish I could find just one man that wants to settle for more than a few dates.. seems to be all about the sex in the end. Marraige??? Where do you meet these men??? Is there a state/province they're all hiding in.. is there at least a number to call? Something? Anything? I'll trade the last 5 cads.. for one decent marrying joe.. anyday! Sheesh!***
Daft as it sounds, you are probably meeting the wrong types of men because you aren't really looking for a man who will enhance YOUR life, rather you're looking to find a man who will want to marry you. It seems in relationships that the more picky you are about choosing the right partner, the more offers you get from people you don't want to have as a partner. | |
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| why are MEN over 40 so desperate to get married??
Posted: 4/7/2008 2:11:19 AM |
Its just that a lot of men, AND women (like ME!) over 45 may want an LTR -- but would prefer to maintain their own homes, and not marry again.
I'm not disputing what you're saying. I'm sure there are some people out there who enjoy having more casual encounters with lots of people, but I think at the end of the day most people are looking to love and feel loved by another person. The reason some people stay alone is because they haven't found anyone they can feel this way with, and I think it's the same reason that some play the field. Not because they are users, but because they are looking for the real thing, even if they don't know it on a conscious level. Maybe I'm wrong, but I think we are all capable of settling when we feel we have found the RIGHT person.
Yes, some men and Women over 45 chose to "play the field" too. Nothing wrong with that and no need to label anyone. | |
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| why are MEN over 40 so desperate to get married??
Posted: 4/7/2008 2:15:06 AM |
Yes, some men and Women over 45 chose to "play the field" too. Nothing wrong with that and no need to label anyone.
That bit isn't my bit, for some reason I must have messed up with the quote marks, and it's put it at the end of my post rather than the top with the rest of the quote where it should have been. | |
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| why are MEN over 40 so desperate to get married??
Posted: 4/7/2008 2:48:09 AM | Well' I been divorced for 8 years. I am in no hurry to walk down isle again. Of course i would like to have someone to share my life with but at the same time not just any woman will do. So, I guess that makes me a little picky. The way i see it i want a companion to share the rest of my life but at the same time i am comfortable where i am. So if i met the right woman i might consider the idea but if i don't that's OK to. I don't want a woman to define me and make me feel like a man. I want a woman to love me for the man i am. That's hard to find now.  | |
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| why are MEN over 40 so desperate to get married??
Posted: 4/7/2008 2:53:27 AM | Pamperpooch..
If you read all my posts.. you'd see I'm looking for someone that wants to date. One man.. not date man.. after man.. after man. I'm not looking for marriage. Guess again! | |
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| why are MEN over 40 so desperate to get married??
Posted: 4/7/2008 3:52:03 AM |
Which leads me to my final theory...Men need women a heckuva lot more than women need men,especially in later years!
I see theoretical hypothesis is not one of your stronger traits. Maybe you could do some more research and get back to us but this time step outside your own limited experience and provide us with data you haven't made up.
So you don't want to get married, that just means when men tire of you they are instructed to ask you to settle down so you'll reject them. You see, men know better than to say you're not interesting and have to hear you argue about how interesting you are so its best to have the woman think she's the one doing the rejecting and just go along with it.
If you had the notion men don't want to settle down and you were rejected by one of them, they tell you they are confirmed bachelors to have you initiate rejection.
Just remember, men never do anything honest and straight forward, they are all exactly the same and you will always find some other woman that you can commiserate with in between failed relationships. | |
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| why are MEN over 40 so desperate to get married??
Posted: 4/7/2008 5:14:58 AM | Hi Brian,
Please don't let my hypothesis bother you THAT much!
This is in MY experience,not yours. Isn't that the whole concept that these forums are based on?
I am not saying that what I bring to the table is any different or any better than any other woman,hence my referencing of my friend's experiences as well.
The word I used in my original post that you are passing over is MANY......not ALL.
The male posters on this thread have actually given me hope that there are some men out there who think realistically and have a bit of common sense about relationships.
Now to find one....... | |
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| why are MEN over 40 so desperate to get married??
Posted: 4/7/2008 7:53:00 AM |
The male posters on this thread have actually given me hope that there are some men out there who think realistically and have a bit of common sense about relationships.
WHAT! Recognition that men in their middle age might have learned from life and developed realistic views of relationships????
Where are you. I am flying in to propose today...... | |
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| why are MEN over 40 so desperate to get married??
Posted: 4/7/2008 8:49:52 AM | | Well I am over 40 and would like to find someone yes. I even would like to remarry one day but am not just going to ask the first one I find. I am not a serial dater though have no want to do that. I try to find someone I share common intrests with and see what develops . Hopefully one day I will find someone to settledown with but will not settle just to get married. Till then good luck to everyone | |
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| why are MEN over 40 so desperate to get married??
Posted: 4/7/2008 10:09:16 AM | | Quite an interesting thread. Been married twice and for me it's not the marrying - it's the divorce - can be quite a pain. However a few more marriages and I may be able to get discount! | |
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| why are MEN over 40 so desperate to get married??
Posted: 4/7/2008 10:11:33 AM | I think Junipermoon hit it on the head when she said that men want a "live in maid" (and we can add cook, horticulturist, sexual partner, veterinarian, babysitter, et. al.) | |
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| why are MEN over 40 so desperate to get married??
Posted: 4/7/2008 1:42:45 PM | | Gee down here in SoCal no one wants no one either way, unless there is alot of money involved and someone can pull a fast one and call it love for a few months. No one even believes in love or commitment here. They laugh at it. Old guys see how many young girls they can buy. The older rich women will buy a boy, and the older women and men without alot of money go without. That`s it. Isn`t it romantic? | |
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| why are MEN over 40 so desperate to get married??
Posted: 4/7/2008 1:50:07 PM | | i'm not desperate to get married but i do want to. i'm not gonna just settle for the sake of being married. i don't want to live the rest of my life alone. i want a companion AND a friend all-in-one! snuggling isn't bad either! | |
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| why are MEN over 40 so desperate to get married??
Posted: 4/7/2008 1:52:28 PM |
Gee down here in SoCal no one wants no one either way, unless there is alot of money involved and someone can pull a fast one and call it love for a few months. No one even believes in love or commitment here.
That's an interesting observation. I know from personal experience that there are some people in So Cal that are looking for a genuine relationship.
What types of people are you meeting and where are you looking for them? | |
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| why are MEN over 40 so desperate to get married??
Posted: 4/7/2008 2:04:20 PM | ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^I live in an upscale resort area^^^^^^^^^^^
I haven`t met any, anywhere who are looking for a LTR or marriage, too many legalities involved . I have not yet met one guy who has said that he wants to fall in love and get married ( unless there is a financial benefit for him in doing that) That is just the thinking here. I`m okay with it, used to it, aware of it, and not offended by it any more. This is what it is. | |
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