| why are MEN over 40 so desperate to get married??
Posted: 5/13/2008 2:29:15 PM | | you don't have to trust the forum, do the research, look at 100 women over forty's profiles randomly and count the party girls vs the will not respond to anyone not looking for a LTR | |
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| why are MEN over 40 so desperate to get married??
Posted: 5/14/2008 7:31:51 AM | "you don't have to trust the forum, do the research, look at 100 women over forty's profiles randomly and count the party girls vs the will not respond to anyone not looking for a LTR "
HUH?!
WTF are you talking about? | |
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| why are MEN over 40 so desperate to get married??
Posted: 5/14/2008 8:12:46 AM | HUH?!
WTF are you talking about?
i'm talking about...... everyone (men and women) who puts seeking LTR in their info probably would get married if the right other half ever actually appeared and stayed around long enough to find out they were
and there are plenty of women on here that have filters on to limit everything BUT a LTR | |
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| why are MEN over 40 so desperate to get married??
Posted: 5/14/2008 8:25:35 AM | | basically, if you've set your filters to not allow Talk/Email, Friends, Dating, Activity Partner........ then even the good guys out there not looking for intimate encounter can't message you, and all that's left is the "desparate for marraige ones" | |
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| why are MEN over 40 so desperate to get married??
Posted: 5/14/2008 11:17:46 AM | A friend of mine looks at it this way...
I asked him why he wants to get married.
His reply was, "So what do I have left...? 20-25 good years.... if I'm lucky... I'd rather be looking for a wife now, than when I'm 65" | |
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| why are MEN over 40 so desperate to get married??
Posted: 5/14/2008 1:50:14 PM | | Not all of us are desperate to get married. Been there, done that, bought the tee-shirt. If and when I ever get married again, I am going to make damn sure we know each other for a while. | |
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| why are MEN over 40 so desperate to get married??
Posted: 5/14/2008 1:57:55 PM | Sorry but all the men i know of dont want the ring agine. Me i know ill be very slow to say I have no proublem IF? the wright one comes by, but i do need ladys in my life even if just as frends,iv found them better frends then most men. but im a two time losser ,and trying to find just one more for keeps | |
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| why are MEN over 40 so desperate to get married??
Posted: 5/14/2008 4:28:08 PM | | They want someone to pick up where their last woman left off. Men that are that desperate simply want another woman around to do the work they don't like to do...cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc... The typical "maid chores" or a second mom to take care of them. Some men really need to live on their own for a while and learn to take care of themselves. | |
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| why are MEN over 40 so desperate to get married??
Posted: 5/15/2008 7:37:40 AM | I must be the exception that proves the rule. I don't want a maid or second mum, I'm one guy who can look after himself.
But a 40+ friend of mine was so desperate to marry as he thought that he would be left on the shelf , it was pitiful to watch his efforts. Now he's in his mid 50's and on his second marriage so seems he wasn't that desperate after all!!! | |
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| why are MEN over 40 so desperate to get married??
Posted: 5/15/2008 2:36:04 PM | | Haven't read all the responses but why would you come to this conclusion? I'm 47 and having way to much fun to even consider getting married. What is the benifit of marriage? Not necessary in my opinion. Maybe its just the men on this site that gave you this illusion but I would say this is not the overall mentallity of men over 40. | |
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| why are MEN over 40 so desperate to get married??
Posted: 5/15/2008 9:46:51 PM | | Lots of this argument is perception. A nice looking lady such as o.p. will have lots of proposals. I've seen several posts here that I totally agree with and that are logical...other's I've seen are overflowing with generalizations, assumptions, and prejudices...not to mention ignorance...(not that I'm totally all knowing myself).... I can only tell you of my own experiences. I have a female friend I've known almost all of my life and who I know for a fact would marry me right now if I'd just be willing. She is everything many men would want. In her younger years she was a luscious one with a lithe nubile body that could make a young man crazy very quickly. We've remained friends and dated off and on for over 30 years. That's the number one reason I would never marry her! We frequently remind each other that we will ALWAYS be friends no matter what and that we will respect each other's marriage or relationship(s). I have far too much value for our friendship to spoil it with marriage. That said... several months ago my LTR broke down and the woman of my dreams dumped me for no real reason. I was in a traumatic shock, deep depression, etc for a few months as if my closest friend had died. It has taken a lot of self-reflection and evaluation for me to get my head, heart, and mind back together and maybe I am and maybe I'm not so totally back together but I am surviving the impact of it all. For a while I wanted to simply find another woman to fill the empty slot. I met and dated 3 or 4 ladies online and NONE would even come close to what I have known. Up until 2 weeks ago I had been dating one lady for 4 months when I broke it off with her. I simply found her too stubborn and not interested in much of a relationship. We spent little quality time together and I came to the conclusion that she just wanted a free meal, sex, and a movie. Myself, I don't expect sex and I don't feel comfortable taking a lady out to dinner constantly. I'm more wanting a best friend and not at all opposed to marriage....but... like another poster said, the piece of paper is virtually meaningless. At this age I wouldn't want to give away all of my property to a woman with children who have no respect for me... I'd rather leave it all to my own children... so, for what it's worth... I'd have to find a way to make arrangements ahead of time for anything I wanted to leave my children and to secure it for them. As much as I respect what is morally correct I'd much more be inclined to do what is logical and fiscally responsible. | |
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| why are MEN over 40 so desperate to get married??
Posted: 5/17/2008 6:31:35 AM | | well i'm over 40 and i dont ever want to get married again but if i meet the right person and it happens thats fine but it will be a real surprise. seems women only want a serious relationship exclusively so men tell them they are looking to get married and then eventually move on. It would be so much better if people were just honest with each other. | |
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| why are MEN over 40 so desperate to get married??
Posted: 5/17/2008 7:16:39 AM | OP, interesting question...
so getting past the loss of the marriage in the first place would be a factor...rebound relationship comes comes to my mind...ACK!!!
and "settle down" would be a term to define...does that mean that he still goes fishing/hunting/football weekend/etc with buddies every weekend...or does that mean quickly attach (thru sex) before well balanced intimacy is established over an appropriate period of time?
btw, the men i've dated haven't wanted to get married and its all good. i'll wait for robert redford. | |
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| why are MEN over 40 so desperate to get married??
Posted: 5/17/2008 8:32:32 AM | Notabubbalover,
First off I think any time you try to paint a large segment people with a broad brush you do a great disservice to the group. Having said that I agree with you that most people should take some time to reflect after a long time relationship has come to an end. In my case I recognized that I had many issues that I needed to focus on as a result of my marriage of 30 yrs coming to an end. So, with the help of a wonderful psychologist I spent the next 24 months focusing on those issues before attempting any dating. My situation is probably more unique than most since I never got much of chance to date when I was younger so the entire dating thing was completely new to me.
This leads me to your observation that most men are anxious to settle down after their divorce … much more so than women who find themselves in similar situations. I have quite a few divorced male friends, some of which are interested in finding someone that they can begin a new relationship with & others who aren’t interested in a serious relationship after their divorce.
However, if I could I’d like to offer my perspective on why some men over 40 are interested in marriage or at least a long term relationship. I was married for 30 yrs before my divorce approximately 4 yrs ago. The first 20 yrs of my marriage were wonderful … almost like a fairy tale. And even though the last 10 yrs became increasingly difficult leading to a 5 yr separation & eventual divorce … they could never diminish those first 20 yrs that my ex & I shared. I would LOVE to meet someone special to share my life with … nothing would make be happier. If that makes me desperate then I plead guilty. But after spending so many years in a loving, wonderful relationship … I’m not sure I will ever find that same kind of satisfaction living on my own.
Now does that mean I am miserable without someone in my life? Not at all. I enjoy everyday. I look forward to my new life & all of the new experiences it has in store for me. I think I may have felt anxious, maybe even desperate when I first began dating but those feelings have slowly faded away. Now I enjoy getting to meet new people & making new friends.
In regards to your theory that men need women a heckuva lot more than women need men, especially in their later years, maybe one of our screen stars got it right so many years ago …
“Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then."
~ Katharine Hepburn
Good topic!
Gary | |
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| why are MEN over 40 so desperate to get married??
Posted: 5/20/2008 3:03:50 PM | For myself, the reason was the 10+ years between then and now. The last chance to build a life together rather than the always available chance to just live the rest of one of our lives together, probably mine.
Now that I'm over 50, explain to me why I should marry? I can still be convinced, but you're going to have to explain it to me.
Men at 40 are at a very different stage of their lives. | |
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| why are MEN over 40 so desperate to get married??
Posted: 5/20/2008 7:39:05 PM | Gee this maybe an old forum ..
but hell it seems to me there are just as many women looking to marry or have a full blown relationship ..
the best i can recall was one girl i had seen 3 times, had not slept with but suggested moving in. WTF . now she was attractive and very wealth, but im in it 4 love . that girl that takes my breath away . maybe im a dreamer .. now that doesnt mean i wont socails or date . just means thy must be some special to commit . | |
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| why are MEN over 40 so desperate to get married??
Posted: 5/22/2008 11:04:16 PM | They arent desperate at all.
Its the female ego kicking in again. Many female egos can't stand the idea of the kind of casual boyfriend who can just take them or leave them as they come. | |
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| why are MEN over 40 so desperate to get married??
Posted: 6/20/2008 10:16:50 PM | | Juniper...NAIL ON THE HEAD!!! There isn't ANYTHING that a man NEEDS from a woman over 40, other than the things you listed. I think I love you...will you marry me... seeing that you have all that experience in the important stuff. | |
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| why are MEN over 40 so desperate to get married??
Posted: 6/20/2008 10:22:47 PM | Desperate to get married????????? Bwahahahahah!!!!!! Not laughing at you, just myself. lmfao!!!! Anyone who'd marry me has got to be freakin' desperate 'cause I'm just a baaaaaad man!!!!!!!!! Lmao | |
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| why are MEN over 40 so desperate to get married??
Posted: 6/20/2008 10:27:30 PM | | IMO men and women need time to recover from past relationships - otherwise, you will be carrying that BAGAGE around for way too long. Hopping from one relationship to the next will only change who I am with. I think we need to find what makes us happy before we can truly be happy with or without a partner. I steer clear of "wife-hunters". | |
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| why are MEN over 40 so desperate to get married??
Posted: 6/22/2008 1:21:38 AM | My SO and I have both "been there and done it" when it comes to marriage. She is 50 and I am 49. We probably never will get married. It simply over complicates things. We have our Wills in order for our children from the other marriages. We dont have children together. Things are wonderful. We each carry life insurance so the other will be taken care of if anything were to happen. I sold my house when I moved in and hers is paid for. Our pensions are totally seperate. We split the household bills straight down the middle. We both see marriage as a non-issue. The kids are college educated and out of the house (except the youngest she has one more year for her MBA) This is our time.  
The idea of marriage is still open to both of us if we need to do it for medical insurance or some non sense like that. So not ALL men over 40 are jumping at marriage | |
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