| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 4/6/2008 6:47:06 PM | | I don't see it as a big deal. The only thing you may want to think about is, if this is leading to a marriage, how soon do you want kids vs how soon she wants them. I don't think 8 years difference is a big deal now, and it will be even less of a deal 10 yrs from now . . . | |
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 4/6/2008 7:11:12 PM | The closet woman to my age I've ever had a relationship with was 11 months older and the oldest was 11 years older. As long as you two enjoy being with each other and things are going good, thats ALL that matters. Like everyone say's "Age is a state of mind". Enjoy being together and having someone to share your life with. It's good that you two found each other. And that your both diggin each other. Have fun and see where it goes. Good luck to you both! | |
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 4/6/2008 7:54:49 PM | | If you enjoy each other's company, what's the problem? Who are these "people" who tell you she's too old for you? You have MY permission to tell them to take a hike! I was 9 years older than my late husband, and he said it bothered him all of about 18 seconds. I know you stated in one of your posts some "what ifs?" None of us know how we're going to feel or what we're going to be doing next week, let alone in 5 years. You said your goals are similar, you get along great and you love being together. Enjoy each other, and whatever develops, develops! You will both know as time goes on if you are meant to be together. In the meantime, sounds like you're having fun, so why not? | |
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 4/6/2008 8:11:41 PM | My opinion is that if you like someone then my opinion should not matter to you. What should matter is how you feel about her, how she treats you etc. If you are happy then who cares about what other people say or what other people think. Life is too short living it for other people or caring about what others think or say. I say go for it and I hope it works out. Eight years is not that much older and men date much younger women all the time and no one cares so it should not matter that you are dating a woman a few years older.
~Carrie | |
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 4/6/2008 8:20:25 PM | | I found that age differences changed with age, as it turns out . . . I always dated older guys, anywhere from 10-25 years older, but when I hit 40 I found that younger men were interested in me and, of course, that the men my age were more mature. It's been my experience that the physical aspect is the issue that factors in a lot when discussing age; ladies are fortunate when it comes to libido as well, so it stands to reason that a shift would occur in their taste for younger men. The difference, when considerable, will usually leave one looking at an older body that fails to take one's breath away - in a good way - and I never cease to be amazed at what middle-aged men think is acceptable to young women. It's also a shame that there are so many mature women who are alone while their male peers are insulting them with Miss Nubile. By the same token, marriage can lead to taking care of someone in ways that you hadn't really thought through when it was still a young relationship. I suppose I can go ahead and point out to everyone that looks and health are important if you really care about and respect yourself and the other person, but then, one should always be doing their best . . . | |
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 4/6/2008 8:40:57 PM | what does age half to do with it?
It seems you both like each other a lot enjoy and worrry about the other matters when they come up.
I am 45 and I am dating a man that is 38, I am not sure if it is going any further then what we have, I really don't care. I am ejoying my time with him. It's hard finding someone that is right for you and at times the person that is older or younger is the one..
enjoy hunny and who cares what everyone else thinks, It's your life and hers.. | |
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 4/6/2008 9:03:10 PM | how important is age if you found "the one"
some people say "go ahead and have fun" "you are too young to settle or have your life mapped out"
but in reality think about it... how good is it having fun, going at night with a different chick... when you are yearning for someone who is in your intellectual level... that treats you good and makes you feel great...
I think all that "fun" is nothing in comparison to the fun you can have with the person you love... age is just a number but if you are happy with her then dont let anybody tell you what to do. | |
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 4/6/2008 10:21:25 PM | I am 110% behind you dude. Can you find me a chick about 10 years younger. Does this girl have a sister. If so I can prove to you that you are doing the right thing.  Go for it. You only go around one time. If you feel right about it you shouldn't even have to ask about it. | |
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 4/6/2008 10:35:28 PM | 8 years usually isn't that much of a difference. In fact, it might be good for both of you, because male and female sexual enjoyment peaks are about the ages you both are at. I don't know if it's just a sexual relationship, but if it's more than that, it might be the ideal thing for both of you.
I hope it works out for you. | |
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 4/6/2008 10:37:48 PM | The wife / best friend is 10 years younger. She was 22, I was 32 when we met.
The last thing we ever think about is our age,and if you're both meant for each other, neither will you. ;) | |
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 4/6/2008 10:47:05 PM | | You will have a blast right now I'm sure. I would definitely not marry her though. Unless you plan to divorce. Ten years from now you'll be miserable. Plus your friends will start to make fun of you. | |
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 4/7/2008 2:02:46 AM | | Who cares? She's only 28 and only has a few years before she looks like the cryptkeeper without her makeup on. As long as you're happy, then who cares what anyone else thinks? Do you like her? Check. Can she give you children if that's what you eventually want? Check. | |
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 4/7/2008 2:18:21 AM | | sometimes age is an issue, it has been for me in the past.. but other times its not. if your happy, shes happy, then see how it goes! shes not that much older really. age doesnt have to matter. | |
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 4/7/2008 9:08:17 AM | In my last relationship, he was 8 yrs younger than me. The situation was similar to yours. We met while we were both out with friends, he thought I was younger, he didn't look way younger to me. As long as you are on the same page in life, wants, etc. there shouldn't be any problem. We both had been married in the past, had kids and neither of us wanted more. We had same view points on a lot of things.
It is all about where you are in life, what you both want and if your future plans/goals are the same. | |
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 4/7/2008 11:36:40 AM | I was in a similar situation in the past. I was 23 and she was 28. After being together for 2 years. (amazing 2 years). She started talking about her biological clock all the time. Every time we got together, I was hearing "TICK, TOCK, TICK, TOCK"...
I was nowhere near READY for kids, so I didn't want to waste her time.
Now she is married and has 2 kids...and very happy. I am 28 and still don't want any kids... | |
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 4/7/2008 12:03:05 PM | Every time we got together, I was hearing "TICK, TOCK, TICK, TOCK"...
I'm so flattered! 
Anyway, this is the problem with dating a woman that is in the 30'ish age range. They are entering the nesting stage where many will want stability: a ring on their finger, a house with a white picket fence, a dalmation named Spot and 2.5 children. | |
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 4/7/2008 12:17:20 PM | | Keep in mind I have dated I have dated women everything from from 14 years younger to 14 years older in my time......And keep in mind it does not matter what others say friends, G/f ect ect about age difference they not the one enjoying the good companionship 24/7 you are.....so thier criticisms are purely on number basis and not actually involded in your good times with your partner.....Actually you in better situation then they are...u enjoying a good fun woman and they want you t stop it just because of a number,,,,so hang in there and enjoy the company of a good woman...they hard to come by no matter what the age # shows...and stick you tongue out at anybody giving ya hard time and say too bad I like her and we having fun..so sad your not!...LOL | |
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 4/7/2008 2:31:27 PM | A couple of people brought up the question of raising a family, and that the age difference might be a problem. I don't think so.
Not so long ago, people lived short, hard lives, and so they settled down and raised kids in their teens or early 20's. Men usually married younger women because men were the only ones who got decent pay, and they had to establish an income first in order to raise a family -- women left home as soon as they were able to have children and find a suitable man. Birth control was almost non-existent, and there were a lot of penalties for having a child out of wedlock (what an archaic term that is!). Sex was for married people. The good old days. That explains a lot of the conventions of the past centuries.
Today both men and women can go out and establish themselves, becoming economically independent, and play forever, or settle down early -- there are more choices. Birth control is available. People are living much longer, with better health, and better medical options. There are women in their 50's giving birth (there were in the past, too, but it was less common and more dangerous in the past).
You have so many more choices! Be glad that you have more choices, and that you can choose to be with the woman that you love. Let the other people be jealous! :)
Best Wishes,
Garden Artist | |
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jf468
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Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 45 | |
| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 4/7/2008 2:59:52 PM | | There is no right or wrong answer. Provided both people are legal age. It just depends on each individual person's tastes and interests. Some women like myself aren't interested in a man that is 8 yrs younger than she is. I'm 27. Therefore a man who is 8 yrs younger than me would be only 19. That's too young for me. Maybe when I'm older ( such as 35-40 yrs old ), a 8 yr age difference might not a problem for me. However if another 27 yr old woman wanted to date a 19 yr old man, then that is their business. Not mine. | |
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 4/7/2008 3:25:14 PM | you say she thinks (now) she will be wanting to start a family in 5 years and you fear you will not be ready. well, if she's 8 years older than you, then that makes her 29 now. she has a lot more than 5 years left to have children.
my thoughts are you could both compromise. she could wait, perhaps 8 or 9 years - she will then be 37 or 38 and you will be 30......does that feel possible for both of you?
if things continue to grow on the course you're both on now, it seems it really could work well into the future. best wishes for that, and in the meantime enjoy the blessings you have right now, for that is all there really ever is. everything else is projection. | |
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 4/7/2008 3:48:24 PM | | Hi. I have several friends who are married and living with younger men and they have been together for a long time. The age difference for these couples are 10, 7 and 13. All younger men. Two of these couples met in their early twenties and have been together for decades. One couple both wanted children early on and the other didn't have her first child until she was almost 40. The couple with the 13 year difference have been together 5 years, he doesn't want kids and she already has older ones. They compliment eachother very well, like two pees in a pod, Oh well how cute. Sounds like you are mature in your career and goals and you may not want to be dating women in their early 20's who don't know what they want or who may want to velcro themselves to you because you have potential. Either way just make sure you don't have any babies until YOU are ready. Sorry this is getting too long, but just enjoy eachother because it could take a long time to find someone that you can truely enjoy being with. (Look at all us older people trying to find our soul mates) Best of Luck. | |
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 4/15/2008 11:50:57 AM |
Msg: 11 -- the age gap will mean she is ready for kids and i know she will want them within the next 5 years, if we are still together,what if im not ready? or what if i waste x amount of years of her life realising that then she will have to start again.
Sorry, I can't advise you on THIS. I have no children and want none, and I clearly state so in my profile. This is one hurdle she and you must overcome as a couple on your own. If your communication channel is as open as you say it is, then it merely becomes one of MANY of life's challenges you both will face in the future.
Best of luck to you both. Enjoy your time together. Life is too short to do otherwise. | |
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 4/15/2008 11:58:01 AM | Ahh, 8 years, my first older women was 8 years my senior too ! She was quite strickt as it turns out and not what I hoped for, my next was 14 years older and she was a real blast, a total party girl :p and my current is 22 years my senior and she's great more like a friend Im intemate with.
So, the moral of the story is, untill you've tried it, you never know, and all the fears and misconceptios in the world mean nothing until you actualy experience it. | |
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 4/15/2008 11:58:29 AM |
Msg: 12 -- she is definatly to old for you, get real, get a girl thats more your age, my girl friend is 25 years YOUNGER than me, thats the way it should be.... thank god for double standards...
HOR$E$HIT!!! Get a LIFE, man! TRUE LOVE KNOWS NO BOUNDS, regarding AGE or OTHERWISE. You apparently have a TOTAL LACK of understanding. If you had such, you would NEVER have posted this CR@P!!! | |
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