| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 4/15/2008 6:16:07 PM | I'm getting a kick out of how many women say " Age is just a number " until they hear of a guy my age dating/having sex/being 'in love' with a 21 year old....
You noticed that too, eh? 
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 4/15/2008 8:07:13 PM | | I know a woman in her 70s who's been living with a guy in his early 30s. Seems pretty strange to me looking at it from the outside and the pressure on her from her peers must be nothing less than enormous but the two of them are happy as clams. So who am I to be judgmental about it. As long as they're happy, who am I to say it's wrong. | |
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 4/15/2008 8:32:30 PM | don't even ask, just do what makes you happy. Love has no age limits, look at Harold and Maud. My first wife was 6 years older and we were very happy for a long time and our eventual break up had absolutely nothing to do with age. | |
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 4/15/2008 10:31:39 PM | | Jeeze, you only met her a few weeks ago! Chances are, you won't make it anyway. But at least give it a few more weeks while you're enjoying it. You've more than a decade to decide on kids. Let your feelings mature with her before you fret about the long haul. | |
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 4/15/2008 10:59:40 PM | I'm getting a kick out of how many women say " Age is just a number " until they hear of a guy my age dating/having sex/being 'in love' with a 21 year old.... The only issue I've seen is when the guy INSISTS that the woman HAS to be much younger than him and that somehow the women even remotely close to his age are somehow defective due to their age. Some very old men are convinced that if they chase enough 21-year-olds that they will catch one. It's not a case of where I really want to date those guys, because I can't stand listening to the comparison of me to other women all the time. It's the suggestion that there's something ultimately wrong with me or other older women now. Otherwise, I could care less.
I know more than one relationship with nearly a 20 year age difference and they are happy couples. The guy wasn't drooling over every 21-year-old he could find, and there was no threat that the wife was going to hit an "expiration date" by some point. As long as the focus is on the person and not the age, then there should be no problems.
Only .000001% of the men in the world could successfully do what Hugh Heffner is doing, so they might want to consider discontinuing deluding themselves that when they're 60 that all the young blond bombshells are going to be hot for them. Of course, it's perfectly well within their rights to be delusional. After several years of being delusional though, they tend to end up here whining about how rotten they think women are. Then we beat them over the head with bats and throw them into the fire, and serve them for supper at the local shelter. | |
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 4/15/2008 11:05:51 PM |
The only issue I've seen is when the guy INSISTS that the woman HAS to be much younger than him and that somehow the women even remotely close to his age are somehow defective due to their age.
You are absolutely incorrect. Open your eyes and take a look at some of the threads on POF. | |
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 4/16/2008 12:17:15 AM | | OP, it really doesnt matter..as long as you like each other and want to be with each other nothing should stop both of you..me myself do prefer to date older women! | |
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 4/16/2008 12:40:56 AM | 8 years....that's it....dude...seriously, you look 30....and I'm guessing she's 29...okay.
Do you love her? Does she love you?
There ya go...age is :bullshit:
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 4/16/2008 2:49:21 AM | its a no brainer... i does not matter if she is 18 years older or from outer space... if you are happy and in love... what the **** else matters...
when i was a bit older than you i started a relationship with a woman exactly 12 years older than me... best thing that ever happened to me. | |
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 4/16/2008 3:25:28 AM | | Hey dude, I gotta tell ya. I dated a girl 8 years older than myself for 7 years and it worked out great. I got the whole nine yards worth of commentary from other people including my own family but basically to me, age is just a number. If there's mutual feelings involved, who cares. My brother was my biggest critic and I call him a hypocrite now because the one who told me it's wrong is now dating a girl 9 years older than him, has 3 kids (which aren't his own), and they live together. I'm sure he understands now. It's also becoming so common now to see younger guys with older girls. I prefer it that way anyway. Way less bullshit drama and headaches than with these younger girls. | |
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 4/16/2008 3:50:51 PM | Honest response, age is a state of mind, she maybe 29, but she feels 21 (you in this case - sorry, couldn't resist), but seroiusly, enjoy it mate, life to short for things like this and they aren't worth worring about.
ENJOY IT AND BE HAPPY  | |
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 4/16/2008 4:04:38 PM |
You noticed that too, eh?
Yeah, though it really is hard to miss here in the forums.
The only issue I've seen is when the guy INSISTS that the woman HAS to be much younger than him and that somehow the women even remotely close to his age are somehow defective due to their age.
Well, yeah, but I think the number of average men who actually INSIST that a woman HAS to be much younger than he is is really a much smaller number than the women who complain about men who would prefer to date someone younger than he is.
Someone with enough money like Hef can afford a hot young woman. Most of the rest of us can't. | |
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 4/16/2008 4:55:07 PM | | When I was 25 I married a woman 7 years older than me. For a few years things were OK although she understandably did push me to have children very soon because her clock was running. As the years passed problems developed, not so much in me not finding her attractive, but in that she was drawn to older people as friends, for one thing, and a more mature lifestyle in general. Late in our marriage I felt like I was socializing with my parents' social set. Although many factors led to our divorcing, after our divorce some people I had known for a very long time told me they had observed that the years they knew me during my marriage I had acted and behaved older than my chronological age. Indeed I felt much older than I was. After we divorced I got my chronological self back according to my friends. So, if I were you, and I became serious about her I would attempt to mentally project myself into the future and imagine how things might be when you are 30, 40, 50 and so on. It might be just fine for you. I do feel I missed out on a lot of fun being married to an older woman who was not up for sex, skiing, motorcycling and backpacking when I was. Consider the issue of sex with a menopausal woman when you are still relatively young. On the other hand, if you just wish to date her for a while, do so. Have a blast! | |
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 4/16/2008 5:03:21 PM | | I get hit on by men who are several years younger than I. The bottom line regarding long term is as put by Nicky2Tone. Have kids soon if you hope to have any at all. When I present this to the young men who approach me I have them do some basic math. Actually, at 52 years old...I won't be having children unless I have to raise someone else's. But fr now I'm fresh out of eggs. LOL | |
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 5/25/2008 5:19:53 AM | My late husband and I were 18 years in age difference, me being the oldest. Just listen to your heart and not everyone's advice on the age thing. If it feels right than it's meant to be. If your forcing the feeling, thinking one of these days it's going to work, than it's time to move on. Remember your soul mate is out there and only your heart can let you know who that is. And that has nothing to do with age.
Speaking from experience! | |
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 5/25/2008 5:38:55 AM | Since my marriage broke up, i have had a boyfriend who was 12 years younger than me and a boyfriend who was 9 years younger. Of the reasons why we split, the age gap was never one of them.
Unless it causes complications such as one of you wanting children and the other disagreeing.etc...then I see it only as a number. Age does not determine your fitness levels or the state of your health. That varies anyway. It doesn't even determine exactly how many wrinkles you will have.......that varies too..so you can't look at someone and know that they will be compatible, simply because of their date of birth. It's who they are that counts.
Even on here, people put age ranges on and prevent people from messaging them, if they don't fit that criteria.
How do they know that the only thing stopping them from finding their soul mate on here...is that number?
I think it's great that your new girlfriend is more inportant to you, that her age....and I wish you the best of luck. | |
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 5/25/2008 5:51:54 AM | "Consider the issue of sex with a menopausal woman when you are still relatively young. " I'm hoping you meant that statement in a good way, speaking as a menopausal woman. Gosh, other than experience, the ability to not get pregnant, being adventurous, and not really giving a damn what anyone else thinks, what do we dried up old hags have to offer??? (My partner is 8 years younger than me, and knew tmy age before he ever met me!) | |
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 5/25/2008 6:17:41 AM | It doesn`t matter what people think.Its your life and you have to do whatever you feel is right for you.
21 and 29 isn`t that big a difference.I dated a guy 9 years younger for 3 years and when I broke up with him it wasn`t about his age . | |
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 5/25/2008 10:34:20 AM | I agree with nicky2tone and psssst
* years is not an age gap - it's an irrelevance (except the children thing that nicky mentioned)
enjoy each others company  | |
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 5/25/2008 12:22:03 PM | | Nicky is right; the kid thing is what I'm thinking; Lets say she wants a kid in 3-4 years. You still wont even be old enough to rent a car in the U.S. Something to think about. | |
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 5/25/2008 12:26:15 PM |
If you're both happy... age doesn't matter. Never let anyone tell you it does. At 35 I was dating a 22 year old. We were very happy... his friends were all ok with us dating, I suppose because I rarely act 'older'. My friends were different, and couldn't believe that we were seriously dating. They hounded us until he decided it wasn't worth the hassle. Though we rarely hung out with my friends, they were still an issue. I miss him, and wish I hadn't allowed them to come between us. Had I been more stand up with my friends, he and I might still be together today, and maybe I wouldn't be here still wondering 'what if?'!
Follow your heart!
Thats another difference between men and women. I date younger woman and my friends could care less, my friend dated an older guy and her friends were on her like white on rice. Even though they were great together she couldnt' take the negativity and broke up with him. Pretty ridiculous. What women's friends think is EXTREMELY important to them, where guys dont really care. Our feeling is it's not me so do what you want. | |
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 6/24/2008 3:25:23 AM | This isn't really "advice" as such, but it may help you ...
My grandparents met in the early 1930's, and fell instantly for each other, trouble was, it turned out he was 18 and she was 29!!! (ie same as you, each thought the other a similar age when they first dated). Anyway, love blossumed, but war broke out and he was signed up. His parents refused to "approve" them getting married (and back then you had to be 21 to marry without parents permission). So my Gran thought "that's it, he'll forget about me now". HOWEVER, my Grandad didn't. And years later when home on leave they got married (by that time he was 22 and she was just under 33)!!! They were very very happy for more than 50 years. And obviously they had children ... otherwise I wouldn't be writing this post!
Anyway, hopefully that will help you with your situation. You're not the first to fall for an older women and if it's right, it's right. | |
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| Im dating somone 8 years older, advice wanted
Posted: 6/24/2008 4:12:07 AM | | I think it can work wonderfully. You are not having to live through all the trials and tribulations of learning everything she already knows. Some other man suffered at her hands, and now you are benefitting the profits! What a windfall! Go for it. She knows more than someone your own age. She is more stable. She can help give you guidance and direction. She will be wise. If she becomes frustrated by you, it's because she knows more than you do in some areas, so if she gets angry, just realize that she may be wiser than you, so listen attentively, and don't try to be the boss all the time, because you could benefit more by laying back and allowing her to make the decisions. | |
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