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| Feel that there is no reason for me to live
Posted: 6/29/2008 1:58:34 PM | Quit the pity party, my brother took his life and l have been through alot like everyone else. lt's a choice, pick yourself up, make a point of re-charging your batteries and connect with people......
Life is Great!! | |
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| Feel that there is no reason for me to live
Posted: 6/29/2008 2:17:53 PM | Many of us in the world have been through hell & high water. In my case that is a literal statement. I used to live in New Orleans, so the high water is no joke. The deal is this. It doesn't matter what happens to us in life; it's how we choose to respond to it. We all have that choice. I know people who've been through some incredibly horrific things, but you'd never know it by their attitude in life. I also know people who've been through very little & think their life is just horrible & nobody understands what they're going through...they wind up whining till' the cheese rots. I'm not invalidating their feelings. I'm just saying that there will always be people who have been through worse things than you, & people whose life pains don't hold a candle to yours.
The bottom line is that you have two choices. 1) whine & waller in self pity. or 2) dust your butt off & stagger with one foot in front of the other..breathe in & breathe out & find ways to make life better. I know that sounds really cold & heartless to say it that way, & I really do have a deep well of compassion for you. But that is truly the bottom line. Nobody can fix your life for you. Life doesn't come on a silver platter & we don't get to eat ambrosia. If you want your life to become better, you have to make some hard choices. As some posters mentioned, you need a different doctor!!!! That would be a good first choice. But you need to take responsibility for the condition your life is in too. Every choice we make has an effect on our life sooner or later. Look at the choices you have made along the way & see how they have brought you where you sit today. By that same token, decide what you want your life to look like & figure out what choices will bring that about for the new life you are creating for yourself.
Lastly, seeing your POF handle is enough to make a good quality woman run for the hills....if not ALL women. If you present yourself to the world as a loser, the world will accept your self evalutation as such.
Really do seek out better quality help from a good doctor. The one you've been seeing sounds like he needs to be fired & maybe even reported! I do wish you the very best & hope you learn to find the beauty in life that is out here. | |
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| Feel that there is no reason for me to live
Posted: 6/29/2008 2:26:56 PM | I need to say a couple of things about this subject.
True clinical depression is an illness not simply a case of feeling low or depressed. It is caused by either an imbalance of neurotransmitters in the brain or by a difficiency in the receptors for certain chemicals in the brain. NEVER TELL SOMEONE WITH CLINICAL DEPRESSION TO PICK THEMSELVES UP OR TO CHANGE THEIR OUTLOOK ON LIFE. Even when said with the best intentions this is counterproductive because it implies that the person suffering has some form of control and then adds to the guilt they feel for being like this.
Unfortunately despite what many people believe there is not one magical medication that is guaranteed to help. It can take trying many different medications before one is found that works for any individual and then it is only at its best when supported by good quality councilling.
Alcohol is a depressent chemical therefore it has the effect of making the person drinking feel worse and totally neutralises any positive effect medication and councilling may have.
10 years ago after many years of unsuccessful help from several doctors I was diagnosed with BiPolar disorder ( Manic Depression as it used to be known ). After trying 12 or 13 different medications the correct one for me was eventually found and with the aid of councilling I managed to get the condition under control to the extent that last year I completed a masters degree in psychology. I now work giving others going through the things I did to work to overcome the illness. I have been controlling my illness by councilling alone no medication for 4 years now.
One last thing. Unfortunately Depression can not be cured, It can be brought under control but it can return to cause problems if not monitored. There is some form of social stigma against people who need antidepressents but there should not be. A person suffering from depression and on medication has taken a very hard decision to admit their problems and seek help. They can no more control having the illness than someone can control getting a common cold all they can do is seek help. | |
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| Feel that there is no reason for me to live
Posted: 6/29/2008 2:38:16 PM | Well put wolf.
Too often we offer those "it'll be awright, just pick yer self up, brush off the poo, and keep your chin up"...as useless currency, cliches all.
It takes a lot more than that for clinical depression; the beginning of which is understanding, as you alluded, the chemical imbalances and organic causes..
Serotonin, norepinephrine...and many analogs of neurotransmitters...share a cascading interplay in clinical depression.
Valproates and LiCO3 correct the brain chemical imbalance prevalent in BD.
Often the meds take a while to find the correct one/combination/titrated dose.
The other point...the focus to help others with YOUR valuable experiential understanding...exemplifies the tremendous value in doing whatever it takes to scale the once-protective but now imprisoning walls within, to see the larger world without, and help others. In so doing, you do more for yourself that to those you help...
tear down the stigma, break the biases, and share your own stories.
the self-medicating via substances is one diagnostic...but always ends up counter productive. | |
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| Feel that there is no reason for me to live
Posted: 6/29/2008 3:19:58 PM | Hello there! I am very impressed on how you reached out and asked for sincere help and positive thoughts about your situation! I can understand how difficult it is, when you are different! You are compassionate, articulate and genuine and others are spending so much time and effort in being dishonest and deceitful!
I myself sometimes do not understand, why we as humans spend so much precious time and effort on looking at the negative and dark side of life! There are so much of this great big world to enjoy and to savour! I am currently going through my second divorce myself! It will be final in two months! I had been betrayed and distrusted deeply again for the second time as well! When I went online here and for the first time with eharmony! I told myself, this is my life and I only have one chance to make it right! One chance to turn things around and pay attention to me! Inside, what is it that me needs! What is it that me sees the world as! What is it that me wants from life!
I can say this to you! 'IF WE HONORABLY AND SELFLESSLY TAKE SERIOUS PRIDE WITHIN OURSELVES FIRST AND FORMOST, THEN FOR THOSE WHO WE LOVE AND CHERISH! OUR SPIRITS MUST BE CLEAN, PURE, STRONG, SINCERE AND GENUINE! ONLY THEN WILL WE EVER ACHIEVE GREATEST VICTORY WITHIN LIFE'S LONG AND TURBULENT JOURNEY!'
Please take the above verses and use them for yourself! Change your outlook on life! Change how you see yourself first and how you see the world on a positive and proactive basis! MAKE YOUR ENVIRONMENT THE REFLECTION OFF OF YOU! NOT YOU THE REFLECTION OF IT! Once you start to take these steps that you set up for yourself! These are comfortable steps that you know in your heart that you can achieve and succeed with a bit of hard work and some dicipline on your part! YOU WILL SUCCEED WITH ANYTHING YOU PUT YOUR MIND TOO! I AM SCOTTISH BORN AMERICAN, WHO HAS BEEN HERE IN AMERICA FOR 30 YEARS WHO HAS BEEN THROUGH TWO MARRIAGES AND A TON OF SUCCESSFUL ENCLAVES THAT I WORKED VERY HARD AND VERY SINCERELY WITH! I for the first time in my life do have calm and peace, even going through my second divorce! Because I grew up and learned dearly from my first on how to be me better in life! To be myself, no matter what! I am also an accomplished musician! My piano playing and singing have always been theraputic for me! My live performances juvenate me emmensely! I definitely agree with some of the others! Please as you take your steps up for your growth! Find your true passions and strengths that bring out your greatest attributes and talents and expidite them for the world to share and enjoy with you! When you are bringing out what you do best! You will see yourself in a whole different light! You will see how fantastic you truly are! You are a gracious gift that our LORD GOD truly created! May our Lord God truly bless you and keep you warm and safe from harm and evil! May our Lord God truly shine his warmth and love of his face down upon you as you heal and renew yourself! Thank you dearly for your time your patience and your confidence, I know you do have inside you!
Kind and warm regards to you! Please take good care of yourself! 'Erin De Burgh'
May you find true happiness and peace!
Caryn Kathryn MacFadyen
PS: Please take a look at my profile! You maybe surprised to see what type of great and genuine women are on here! I understand dearly how it is to be different! | |
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| Feel that there is no reason for me to live
Posted: 6/29/2008 4:37:00 PM | Im sorry to have to say this cmacfad77 but you seem to have totally ignored what I said in my above post.
Someone with severe clinical depression is incapable of dealing with and seeing past the problems that the illness causes and well intentioned advise such as pull yourself together or as you say change your outlook on life is counterproductive because it only reinforces the belief that someone with depression has that they are in some way responsible for the illness.
As far as the argument you put for self belief I wish this could work but it can not. Depression is a very real CLINICAL condition not a state of mind and MUST NEVER be confused with simply feeling low.
On a purely personal note though. If there is a god and this god is all loving why did this god create such a debilitating illness and why does this god allow thousands upon thousands of people to take their own life every year because they simply can not cope with the sheer hell of coping with this illness? If someone believes faith can be a powerful tool but this is a medical problem that needs correct medical support to allow the sufferer to get to the point where a strong faith can help. | |
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| Feel that there is no reason for me to live
Posted: 6/29/2008 4:51:13 PM | Situational depression, to differentiate from a clinical depression, usually DOESNT require SSRI meds, or the older TCA's.
Situational depression CAN superimpose on clinical, exacerbate, and develop into it. Situational depression is usually result of significant life stressors...death of child, other family, divorce, job loss, medical diagnosis, normal aging and decline etc.
Counseling approaches are divergent: in but either case the therapist/caregiver needs be mindful to utilize language that does NOT further stigmatize or in any way place blame on the person.
"Mental hygiene" approach..somewhat like posted by cmac...CAN help situational depression.
Wolf, on the other observation, re: the question of a higher being/creator God...cannot be answered here.
Suffice to say....strictly iimho....in the "greater controversy" between good and evil, joy and suffering, love and fate, altruism vs selfishness....human moral agency....as well as freedom for evil...seems logically requisite. If this Deity must intervene...(and nor allow evil to eventually extinguish itself)..then in the bigger picture...the battle was not fair...and evil wins. This tragic human struggle is but a battle; the war is on a larger front. In the bigger picture, the greater Deity will surely correct these atrocities and sufferings. Or so my path leads me to believe. | |
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| Feel that there is no reason for me to live
Posted: 6/29/2008 8:45:06 PM | | You will notice that I also said the OP should find a different doctor. The one he has can't even remember who the guy is from one visit to the next. The OP stated that he has to repeat his entire life story from day one. That doctor couldn't possibly doing anyone any good with that approach. I also never intended to imply that he should try dealing with the problem without medical assistance. Clearly anyone having suicidal thoughts needs medical intervention. Even still, I stand by what I said about making choices. I've been there myself & I pulled myself together. I agree that there are situations where there can be permanant biochemical imbalances that affect a person's outlook long term. BUT, they still have to make the decision that they are going to pursue a path of betterment. If that includes proper medication then that is part of the plan but it shouldn't be the Only part of the plan. | |
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| Feel that there is no reason for me to live
Posted: 6/29/2008 8:55:31 PM |
mradDiction 31
User closed account Jun 2 2008 10:26PM
So many well thought out posts for the OP...too bad he is long gone.
However...someone else may be reading all the opinions and advice and benefiting from it. | |
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| Feel that there is no reason for me to live
Posted: 6/29/2008 9:01:10 PM |
So many well thought out posts for the OP...too bad he is long gone.
Just because he closed his account doesn't mean he isn't still here reading the forums. | |
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