| Feel that there is no reason for me to live
Posted: 4/8/2008 9:26:03 PM |
NO ONE LIKES A QUITER NOT EVEN JESUS CHRIST.
Really? You talk to Jesus on a regular basis dude? I thought that he forgives all. I thought he died for all of our sins. I guess just the ones you care about right?
I can't wait till someone puts that on a t-shirt or in front of a church. | |
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| Feel that there is no reason for me to live
Posted: 4/8/2008 9:35:46 PM | | What a bunch of bull .First of all you had a love in your life be thinkfull for that even if it ended you know what falling in love is about. Next you have a job and as for as i can see you have no health problems. You say you have no friends but i see you have 2 room mates to have interaction in your life with. It looks like you are not over waight and looks like you have all your hair and it seams you are comfortable going out and meeting new people and if you are going out you must have money and a car. I see you dont have any children are an x wife you would have to deal with to see them . Seems like you have no mental problems. Only feeling sorry for your self. Now as far as drinking and drugs are god are mental health and what everone has said about it. Thats a way to exscape reality. Put your hopes in your self learn to love your self . Do not rely on others to give your life meening. As for God its also a drug to expect God to solve your problems .Using drugs are drinking is to exscape life .Now lots of people in the world have real mental problems and there is no shame in seeking help if more did id not be reading are seeing on the tv of someone killing people because there life was crap | |
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| Feel that there is no reason for me to live
Posted: 4/8/2008 10:01:14 PM | Ok way to much dramma and pitty, i dont feel for you because you seem to be drowning your woos in alcohal and pills .. Honestly were would you be if this was the 40's you would be dealing with life without pills ....Have we really become such a weak species or what that we need pills to cope with lifes setbacks..Hell I been in the up swing of life pulling in 4 grand a month to being homeless and living in a park with my dog finding shelter in the park toilets at night to get out of the rain and i bounced back and did what i needed to get my life back.. Grow a back bone and stop frigging feeling sorry for yourself and for god sake get off the pills and deal with life.... your only sugar coating the lemon when you take the pills..It is sour and tastes like sh*t but you know some times you have to bite in to get a better taste ... I have no pitty for you at all, thousands of people pick them selves up and move on its those the lay there that keep getting stepped on ... If you like the feel of my shoes on your back well Im happy to keep walking on you .... but maybe someday you will get tired of it and stand up and deal.... best of luck... and hopefully you will leave the ranks of the medicated population and do something positive without the need of pills
good luck but dont look to me for pitty... | |
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| Feel that there is no reason for me to live
Posted: 4/8/2008 10:14:58 PM | | Now as for me in 1996 i had a very bad stroke left me in a coma for about 9 weeks. I was left pearlized and unable to talk ,walk,read ,watch tv, did not know who i was are who anyone else was. After the stroke i lost from 220 lbs down to 83 lbs sice the stroke was in my frontal lobe the person i was had changed . To feel are love are emotions were gone. It was mental hospitals and a lot of rehab. In 1997 i had gained up to over 500 lbs. I could not go to the store are drive a car are shop are do anything with money. As for my,truck ,bass boat, harley and lots of matereal things had to be sold .My wife had to take over the house hold with the childern to raise she had to file for bankrupcy. I had to have lots of therapy and mental help. By 1998 i had worked very hard and had lost down to 300lbs. There were lots of things id have loved to do with my children but was unable too. By 1999 i had lost down t0 220 lbs. In march of 1999 my wife of 22 years told me she was taking the children and leaving me which she did in july of 1999. On my own i had to do things the doctors said id never do. December of 1999 i was told i had a bleed in my brain and to get my afairs in order. In febuary of 2000 my divorce was final. As for now i love living my life i date i have lots of friends. I live alone but see my children when ever i can. I take meds for the brain damage caused by the stroke and im bipoler. But i can walk ,read ,watch tv ,talk , drive a car and I pay all my bills. Yes there have been adjustments living on ssi of 1,100.00 per month is not easy but i do it. The one thing i have learned is in life things change nothing stayes the same but life is worth living. The bigest things i have trouble is spelling words and no short term memory.Il just say again LIFE IS WORTH LIVING | |
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| Feel that there is no reason for me to live
Posted: 4/8/2008 10:28:11 PM | Sweetheart let me tell you something. Today I got a call from the guy I just started seeing that his best friend had hung himself today leaving behind a wife and two small children. the had worked together and were friends only at work it seems but the point is this: It still hurt him more than you could ever realize. He's angry and confused and doesnt seem to understand why a man with seemingly a good happy life would do such a thing. I know that from what you have said that you may not have as many people in your life around you that you think would care, but even the people you see every day in passing and those you have a kind word for from time to time, even they value you more than you will ever know. I do private duty nursing and i deal with death every day. I can't tell you how many people's eyes i've looked into and how many hands I've held as they have slipped from this world, and let me tell you,,, it never gets any easier. Whether I've known them for an hour a day or a year, just hearing their story or talking to them or even the occasional complete stranger that has no family and is lyin there in a bed all by themselves with no one to love them and be there to ease their passing, even they have my love and compassion. I know that I am not the only person in this world capable of giving that of themselves so if for no other reason, don't do it because you have a place in my heart, the heart of a stranger. | |
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| Feel that there is no reason for me to live
Posted: 4/9/2008 11:13:44 AM | Hi there, you have my sympathy my friend as I am a recovering heartbroken guy myself and we all have stories to tell too, I could go right into mine and to me its quite traggic as I woz wrongly convicted last year although sentence dropped to a minor charge in court, but that didnt stop me spending time in police cells and in prison over the week for an alledged common assault by my ex-girlfriend who is on seroxat the worst anti-deprecent, so if your on that get off it quick its a killer m8, she has suffered for years mental unstableness and has a brother in a home who is severly schitzophrenic coz of her abusive mother there is a history which is the reson for her behaviour, but the warning signals woz there 7 years ago and i woz warned by many, trouble is i fell in love with her stayed with her supported her throughout, and know we have a Beautiful lil boy called Archie whi I only get to see two weeks at a time at a contact centre supervised...how degrading is this as they say they see I am the fit parent too? However I woz sent out of my area forced to live homeless until I lived in a van for approx 3-4 months, and eventually had a breakdown and woz discovered on the railway trax luckily outta my mind not knowing who I woz too, then taken to a psychriatric hospital where they diagnosed me as major brain over drive basically major breakdown, contributed by stress & anxiety of what happend, coupled by the fact to added pressure I already had inside due to being ex-forces & armed personal serving tours of N.Ireland in the Army, they also confirmed I had Severe Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome the main instigator to my mind & will power finally coming to a full stop. But now after losing all my belongings & property living homeless to be back on my feet & re-housed by local authorities after they evicted me on acting on police information, I have recently been vindicated by recent events proving my innocence in all related matters with my ex but what good will it do now after my life has been ruined changed so much too especially after having my son with me one minute then the next, gone and all alone?
Well after all that, wot I got to say to you is I have been in contact with a lot of my old customers who some have had members of family die for one reason or another, including a Beautiful lady customer of mine, a favourite actually such a sweet family too, been diagnosed with cancer and is having Kemo which is painfull & hard to take for many I know & like others too she is brave facing death in the face dosent say a negative word or complain but goes about her business hiding her sadness doing much more then ever before appreciating all that God gives us, which sometimes we take for granted & ignore or refuse to acknnowledge. So my friend even though we both feel like ending it all at times and cant accept our plight of being rejected let down, we do have to get on with it find something or someone else who needs our support & become a better human being for it? I refused to take medication which nearly destroyed me, then they gave me wrong medical help until finally I am settling down much better through many peoples help who I owe my grattitude too.
Do the same man, be brave be strong & ignore negativity & un-supportive people, go out & meet new friends by doing something you wouldnt normally do, ie: church many great family orientated people there, dont cost a thing too, go to a gym or just join a group or club with some activity you can relate to, its never too late but always Ending? When you can fugure that one out what I last said to you, come back & talk to me okay, until then so long good luck with your new adventures! Tracy B! | |
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| Feel that there is no reason for me to live
Posted: 4/9/2008 11:46:45 AM | I feel for you mate....I was down there for a while, wanting to take my hands off the wheel and drive the car off the road, didnt want to go on......but it does pass. Some people just take longer than others. Stick with it, keep trying, and one day you'll look back and realise. Then you will rejoice in the fact that you are able to feel such strong emotions, and it will make you a better, stronger person.
No matter how bad things are they always come right in the end, and if things arent right....its not the end.
Steve | |
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| Feel that there is no reason for me to live
Posted: 4/9/2008 9:06:55 PM | Hello mraDiction, do not despair. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel and I'm pretty sure that you are not the only one in the world who has or is experiencing these issues. I can not give you psychological advice since that is for your current doctor to prescribe. My only true recommendation which I am pretty sure that anyone on this site will agree, is to find the faith in GOD that he will get you threw this. You know GOD made you for a reason, and your life has profound meaning! You were also created as a special object of GOD's love! GOD made you so he could love you. He did not make you for you to take the gift that he has provided for you "The Gift of LIFE" Please feel free to email me when you are feeling down and out. I TRUST that you will find the happiness, The Gift of Life" that is in stored for YOU!.
Peg | |
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| Feel that there is no reason for me to live
Posted: 4/9/2008 9:55:25 PM | | I appreciate all the kind words....I'm starting to feel quite a bit better just having conversations with so many people....I hate to say it but I will never be a religious or spiritual person....just not for me....but a hobby and newer sport....mabe taking up guitar which is something I have always wanted to do....Thanks for all the kind messages and words.... | |
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| Feel that there is no reason for me to live
Posted: 4/9/2008 9:58:36 PM | | YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN WHAT YOU FEEL ... I thought about dying to get outa here from 7 to the age of 9 .. I was suisidle from the age of 9 to 3 yrs ago ... I was molested from the age 7 to 15 and he took my verginity when he drugging me ... I was married at 15 a month later was my 16th b-day and the following month I had my 1st child . My husband left me when I was 18 with 2 kids and at 19 I devorced him ... I was raped twice in my early 20s .. then I had two other kids ... 20 yrs ago I ended up with a guy that I would try to throw out and he would end up back some how ... He yelled and screamed at me and my kids ALL the time calling me a Fn B every day sometimes several times a day ... I was lost , convused and so overwhelmed ... I had a nervous breakdown 11 yrs ago and lost my faith totaly in God ... There was way too much evil for me to even think God exsisted ... I cried every second of every minute of every day for weeks until I got on meds ... I would hug my old sweet children and felt nothing ... I forced my self to eat cause I didnt even have the hunger for food ... I just KNEW everyone was nothing more than bones and flesh ... I would rub my hands trying to feel something other than bones and flesh and I JUST CRIED FOR WEEKS AND THATS IT ... Now YEARS later I am better but still cant deal with the nightmares of my past ... I now know that God or no God that this is my life and I found meaning to my life by trying to comfort and make other ppl smile ... I hate to see anyone sad or hurting ... TRUST ME I KNOW HOW IT FEELS ,, not that I know you or what you are going threw .. I just know how it feels ... I have held knifes to my neck and razors to my wrist or tried to drive my car off a bridge at least once a week for almost my intire exsistanse ... I think the clue to not being depressed is just assepting who you are and what your life is ... I give you my thoughts and hopes that you will find peace being who and what you are and that will lead to happiness | |
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| Feel that there is no reason for me to live
Posted: 4/9/2008 10:25:08 PM | | Some ppl understand and other will never understand ... They say depression is a selfish thing ... Alls I have to say is ... Be grateful that you were strong enough to make it threw ... No one knows what its like until it happens to them ... Everyone has different depressions and different levels too ... When I had my breakdown I could not tell you what happened 3 minutes before that ... My mind COMPLETLY SHUT DOWN ... I lost my entire memory exsept how to talk ... I could not even tell you my childrens names or ages ... I could not even tell you my whole name or my age ... To this day is embarrassing that I cant spell very good or do a simple math problem ... But I have a choice to cry or go on ... Ive got to on ... So ppl can judge me all they want ... they should feel lucky they havent been in the hell I have been in ... If some of ppl seem mean just let it go ... they dont understand ... BUT YOU HAVE GOT TO DO SOMETHING TO GET BETTER ... OK ? | |
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| Feel that there is no reason for me to live
Posted: 4/10/2008 5:10:22 PM | I am new to this site but I could not skip over your problem.
I feel for you I really do. I suffered, and battled, through depression too. I would not wish it on my worst enemy, but it can be beaten!!
Come off the anti- depressants and try st johns wort, a herbal remedy. Stop being too hard on yourself and focus on the good things about you ( stay with me on this) . Until you accept yourself and all your flaws there is no room in your life for anyone else, believe me. This is your ' you ' time. To find out who you are and to love it regardless.
I probably sound like a nut bag but I believe all things happen for a reason. If you would like to know what I went through then get in touch.
I know of some great books to read and I can offer support.
You are unique and never forget that.
Lisa
ps: Overcome many shitty obstacles which I will share with you but my wonderful Dad died suddenly this year and it totally made me realize how short and precious life is. Hang on in there and get in touch. | |
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| Feel that there is no reason for me to live
Posted: 4/10/2008 7:44:19 PM | WOW .... It says in the bible that God is the most loving being of all .... Jesus hung on a cross beaten and dying and asked God to forgive those that did it to him ... I have forgiven two rapist and a whole slew of ppl that have done me very very wrong ... God wont forgive ? .... How controdicting .... Very interesting .... Bible says one thing and then another ...
Im NOT saying there is or is not God ... nor am I saying the bible isnt from God or a God ... Just read it hun .. it says alot in reverse ... Unless you are GOD dont tell someone what will happen to them please .... God should he exsist will be the one to say ..... | |
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| Feel that there is no reason for me to live
Posted: 4/11/2008 12:55:46 AM | So, what if we don't believe in the book of fairy tales?
Yeah, leave it to a crazy Catholic to inject their nonsense here and not help in any way. I would like to think a Christian would be more forgiving, but I know a Catholic is usually just full of sh!t, misery and self loathing. Hurry up and die old dude. Your spending my social security.
Before responding old timer ask yourself this: what would Jesus do? | |
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| Feel that there is no reason for me to live
Posted: 4/11/2008 1:14:32 AM | | Well, I guess it's a good thing you're not GOD, hardcandylick. Your post was very rude, in a shameful,disgusting, disrespectful kind of way. You do realize, don't you, that hundreds of your prospective partners are reading these threads without posting, right? | |
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| Feel that there is no reason for me to live
Posted: 4/11/2008 2:35:32 AM | Do you realize that I don't give a sh!t? I wouldn't want to attract those people who would get all ruffled about this. At least I'm honest. I'm not some dude telling some guy he's damned when the OP is trying to seek help not condemnation. But I guess that's not rude because if your religious you're above it all and can point out everyone's flaws?
BTW, I don't ever pretend to be God or know if he exists or not. I'd sure wouldn't pretend to know what the hell he thinks.
Just so that you know, I was jamming to this video while typing my reply. I hope it gives the OP something to make his day brighter. Seriously dude, watch it. Temporary relief if nothing else.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=MNvT6LO_MvY&feature=related | |
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| Feel that there is no reason for me to live
Posted: 4/11/2008 4:32:38 AM |
but I know a Catholic is usually just full of sh!t, misery and self loathing
What a nasty thing to say! You obviously havent met many Catholics then!! | |
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| Feel that there is no reason for me to live
Posted: 4/11/2008 5:28:02 AM | | Ya know if we all just got up every morning and said that past is the past and today is a new day ... that we arent going to let things or anyone brings us down ... that we arent going let some one or something anger us today ... that we are going to make the best of this day ... the world would be a better place and everyone would be happy ... Now how do we go about getting everyone to this ? ... LOL ... Just a little humor ... Just be who ya are and dont be judemental of others ... I think God would like that ALOT ... | |
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| Feel that there is no reason for me to live
Posted: 4/11/2008 6:52:18 AM | OP
I am glad to see that the posts in this thread have helped you. And whether you believe it or not, I suspect that it is a higher power at work here that has brought all these wonderful souls on this thread to help you. Good Luck......I know you will be fine............ | |
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| Feel that there is no reason for me to live
Posted: 4/11/2008 10:02:59 AM | | Well, hardcandylick,IMO you're not going to attract very many desirable women with a mean, disrespectful, sacreligious, flippant attitude. Cheers to ya mate, and best of luck. | |
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| Feel that there is no reason for me to live
Posted: 4/11/2008 10:23:13 AM | OP,
Depression is the most debilitating, embarrassing and, to the sufferer, insidiously HOPELESS situation to endure.
It's clear your doctor hasn't helped you, and the counsellor is doing some 'by the book' thing that has nothing to do with you as a human being who is seriously hurting.
This, like any visible physical illness, requires treatment that may be ongoing for several years. A chemical imbalance in the brain, childhood trauma, etc etc .. factors contributing to your current condition are less important than GETTING WELL.
I know you don't want to die. It just FEELS like life is weighing you down and showing no indication of brightening up.
HERE's a HUG for ya ..
Please don't give up. You must be here for a reason, and maybe what you're experiencing right now will equip you to be someone else's strength later on.
Classified | |
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| Feel that there is no reason for me to live
Posted: 4/11/2008 10:37:32 AM | Ok, my brother, this may sound cliche, but I HAVE been EXACTLY where you are. My girlfriend of many years left me and the pain was so great I thought I was going to die, never mind killing myself. But, indeed I did plot all sorts of methods, ways, and dates and times to just get it over with. I moved to Edmonton 11 years ago, and really hav'nt had a great deal of success with women. I too, tried Lavalife to no avail, with POF I've made a few connections but I've never gotten to the point of even meeting anyone. I'm at a point now, where it doesn't really matter to me so much anymore. I had to fire my psychiatrist a couple of years back because he was unwilling to try different medications, as the ones I was on clearly were'nt working. My family doctor now handles my meds and I feel better than I have felt in years. I got out of a job situation that was making my miserable. I'm finally starting to get comfortable in my own skin, every day isn't total misery anymore, and I'm so grateful I didn't end it all when I was hurting so badly. Where there's life, there's hope, my friend. Don't give up because a better day is coming for you. It may not be today, or tomorrow, but surely it is coming. Be alive to enjoy it.
Davimi | |
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