| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 9/4/2008 4:40:15 PM | Money isn't everything. The smartest people can still make the stupidest mistake.
The only thing that matter is whether they are working hard to get back on their feet, verse trying their best to dodges their responsibility. | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 9/4/2008 5:41:37 PM | Wannashakeyourtree said almost exactly what I was going to say. A soul mate is just that...a mate for your soul. A 100 % match to you. Money has NOTHING to do with it.  | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 9/4/2008 5:46:26 PM | | Since when did real love know what financial meant? If the love is real then finance dont matter cos there will be a way.What is more important,financial security or not being able to be without someone.This is a sad world when finance dictates love! | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 9/5/2008 12:22:48 AM | Ember
It is interesting how over the course of a few pages the actual topic of discussion can change fully......sort of like having a story told "down the line" and seeing if it is the same story when it gets to the end........
But this certainly is a highly subjective discussion and there are no right answers. You might know what you want for yourself, a parent might know what they think is best for their child, but that doesn't make them right. It doesn't make them wrong either. An XBox might not be your idea for a child, but is an XBox bad? I'm not picking on you, honestly. It just demonstrates the highly subjective nature of the discussion and the sometimes humorous results that occur when people try to objectify a subjective thing.
BTW, I don't think Lisa criticised organic food at all. She just made a point that non-organic is not all bad....... | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 9/5/2008 12:42:41 AM | | I think it would be safe to presume if someone is looking for a soul mate who is financially stable, then if your financially stable soul partner goes bankrupt you will ditch them. When you say 'soul mate' you are looking for something that transcends materialistic barriers... But I think some people's ''souls'' are sometimes very [midly put] earthy. How you define the soul is vague in a first place. Some people define the soul [that's to be satisfied and nurtured by a soul mate] as this part of us that needs a diamond ring on birthdays to wow their souls, or big muscles and a tiny waiste for their souls to be norished. Others, will deem this soul-less because they will only settle for someone with whom a hug is all it takes to make them feel peace and at home; called by the former type fantasist escapist ivory-tower dwellers too broke to want a soul-mate of the financially secure ''calibre''. What you're looking for is what you're made of. | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 9/5/2008 1:24:50 AM | I feel if both people are responsible with their spending a relationship is not under stress at the beginning...I expect a lot of us have met alot of people with soul mate qualities in our lives but we don't want the other persons debts or spending habits to rub off on us...
I would not get close to a man who struggled with his cash and continually made it worse for himself...
I expect we all want a soul mate who is like our selves. A relationship can fail big time through spending irresponsibly......
So being a soul mate won't necessarily keep two people together....
Debts can split people apart and we all know that....... | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 9/5/2008 9:13:53 AM | Perhaps this bears repeating:
Love does not INSIST ON ITS OWN WAY
This includes " your way " about finances.
Raise your hand if you dont understand this.
Ember: Perhaps I can exapnd on Lisa's take on this -
She clearly said that as long as your def of "financial stable" meant " he lives within his means ", then you had the correct def. She is correct ( SHE is a Doctor, I am an English Major. That IS the correct def ). But you went further, as she cleverly pointed out, and said you also had to have a man that could AFFORD organic. That means $$$. So you obviously want more than just someone who lives within his means, which means you probably wouldnt date a person below a certain $$$ level as he must be able to AFFORD organic. This = Shallow and Superficial, regardless of the rationalizations you inflict upon us.
Then in your response to her you backpeddeled on this, saying you didnt have to have a man who had $$$ when in the previous post you clearly said you did.
I have noticed ALOT of people tend to rationalize their behavior by saying "its for the children". ( like those who divorce but still stay chummy with the ex - they are not doing it 'for-the-kids' either, they are doing it for themselves).
As regards to her bent on Organics, I gotta side with her again. You have bought into a Marketing Scam, the notion that Organics are oh-so better than regular foods, and hence your duped into paying exhorberant prices because you've been duped by commercialism. This is not the 1960's with DDT and the like. Todays insecticides and fertilizers are not those of 4 decades past, there has been tremendous progress in these fields, and most insecticides used on our crops and such are "light years" ahead of those harmeful ones of bygone days.
Its just like the nuts who buy into the Low-fat Milk scam - thinking 2% or 1% milk is so much better than whole milk, 3.5%. If Nature intended milk to be 2% it would come out of the cow that way. But you've only gone from 3.5% to 2%. WHOOPIE! You dropped 1.5%. Wow. You could accomplish the same thing by drinking half as much whole milk. Remember, 50% of nothing is still nothing.
So in summary, no it is not wrong to want what is best for your children. The rub is using it as an excuse for your behavior, and of course, WHAT is best for your children; your uninformed ideas ( born of being duped by a Marketing scam, not because you're a bad person ) may not be the best thing.
Of course I could be completey nuts myself.
Shea | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 9/5/2008 9:42:57 AM |
Women love a rich man like men love a pretty woman. Woman shouldn't be considered gold-diggers when they want or demand a man who makes a certain amount of money when men get to go on all day long about what kind of breasts/hair color/legs/weight/height/butt, etc.
Jesus Christ, its like I'm talking to high-school kids....
Of course a woman who wants a rich man is a Gold Digger Aurora, thats THE definition of a Gold Digger....Helllooooooo??????
And a man who only is after nice T&A is just as clueless - BOTH are wrong, shallow, superficial and materialistic.
Womens profiles are repleat with this garbage about wanting a Financially Stable man, just like mens profiles are repleat with the garbage of wanting the perfect body. It doesnt make EITHER of them right, just clueless.
As adults, male or female, you are expected to have grown up past such adolescent ideas. | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 9/5/2008 9:52:33 AM | | Marriage and long term relationships are built on trust and love. However, the top 2 reasons people get divorced are sex and money. Sex is the only thing different between you and a roomate. On the other hand, money problems can put so much stress on relationships that you can't see the forest for the trees. Trust me, it can be a tailspin when corporate America intervenes and you have to take a job for less money for awhile and you pay for it. That doesn't mean you need to go look for someone with money. It means need to look for someone with stability. There are so many people that are living one paycheck or two from bankruptcy. I would say the biggest question is the level of debt someone has. So, make sure the person you are with is financially responsible or be willing to accept the risk. I can't tell you the number of people this happened too. That's coming from someone who got divorced over it, because it went on too long and we never fought. Now I am putting my life back together. Good luck. | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 9/5/2008 10:52:30 AM | | Interesting. It seems we're on the same page, but the topic itself appears to be a sensitive one. I don't see myself as backpeddeling, so much as clarifying but due to the sensitivity of the subject it appears to be lost in translation. I guess it's to be expected given the text format. I'll agree to disagree since debate works if communication is clear, but arguing ensues if it isn't. I have no wish to argue given my laissez faire take on the topic, so I'll bow out. Good luck to you both. | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 9/6/2008 10:11:55 PM | I am not being holy or preachy, but I feel like this. When God made Eve, Adam already had a place to live( the garden) A job(tending the garden and the animals) and she wouldnt ever go hungry( you may eat from all these trees except from the tree of good and evil) Enough said. If God did it like that who are we to argue? | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 9/7/2008 12:29:45 AM | If you can pay your own bills on a regular basis....YOU are financially 'stable'. Regardless of your income.
If I loan you money to get you thru the week....either you've had an unexpected set back....which I can fully understand... and gladly will help if I can.....or YOU are NOT financially 'stable' but careless...leaning heavy on the willingness and generosity of another to 'get by', and usually on a regular basis.
As for Adam and Eve....God made Adam a 'help mate'...a companion..."Eve". God knew Adam was gonna need help. Keeping in mind that Eve was tempted by a powerful and cunning super natural 'being' failing God, by picking and eating the fruit of the one and only forbidden tree. Adam on the other hand failed God...by the temptation of a mere mortal woman, eating the fruit Eve offered him, fully aware of the tree it was picked from. I like to view this in a light hearted manner...as the woman being bold and eager enough to ignore the house rules, faced with an offer of 'opportunity' ......and the man willing to ignore the rules, in order to get along and be pleasing to Eve. Both had been warned of the consequences prior...and both seemed to suffer 'selective memory'..for their own individual...'desires'....So....if in fact it was Adams house, he wasn't the king of his castle...until the Queen came to be and allowed him the opportunity.... and neither had a good head on their shoulders for calculating risks associated with ' advancement opportunities'. The original Soul Mates and their poor judgment while faced with 'temptation'...caused a huge debt we are all still 'paying' for to this day.
Money has a way of bringing out the true content of one's character...either by not having enough...and the manner in which you go about the act of acquiring it...
Or by having a bunch and the manner in which you tend your money and how you allow the money to affect your head, heart and your very soul.
I prefer to not have enough, deal with the challenge...rather than too much, another kind of challenge.....and I prefer to have my 'own'.....NOT the good fortune earned by someone else. It doesn't 'spend' as easy.  | |
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