| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/7/2008 5:59:54 AM | I value someone who knows when to spend and how to save. You spend what you have. You live within your means. You don't try to keep up with your rich neighbours.
I call it knowing how to manage your money. Budgeting.
As for soul mate...time will tell! | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/7/2008 6:22:15 AM | I live in Michigan and am one of those women who states that any potential mate must be financially stable. I explain that it is not because I expect anyone to take care of me, but because I don't intend to take care of anyone else.
Yes, times are tough, especially in Michigan, but four years ago I lost my job in a round of state budget cuts and managed to find another means of employment that enabled me to keep my house and even buy a new car. It wasn't easy, but I did it.
If you are asking do I need a man who makes a ton of money,the answer is no. If you are asking do I need a man who would work a job he feels is beneath him in order to pay his own way through life, the answer is yes.
They say two can live cheaper than one, but that is only true if both people are paying bills. There are jobs in Michigan, they just sort of suck and are mostly low paying. But a job is a job and I'll do anything necessary to remain solvent. That is a trait that any potential partner must share. | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/7/2008 7:46:35 AM | I did ignore someone's financial situation. I figured I was being too picky if I worried about the fact he had little money and few possessions of his own - and this was not a young guy. Well, he was an impulse spender; if he wanted something, that was all that mattered - whether or not we had the money for it. He didn't really try to take care of his possessions, either - his attitude was that he could always buy a new one if something broke or got lost. The concept of saving was foreign to him.
That wasn't the main reason we broke up but after that, I swore that I'd never again take up with a man who doesn't have at least two of home, job, car - and we need to have similar financial philosophies.
OP, I agree with the people who are saying there are things you can do to rectify your situation and that whining that women with money shouldn't ignore you won't fly. Oh, and quit believing movies and books are good sources of information about love. Read something like 'Relationships for Dummies'. | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/7/2008 7:52:26 AM |
I think the whole soul mate thing is overrated. I think common interests in some areas, similar education, spiritual and cultural experience are the best matches. Throw in a pinch of good communication skills and a little patience, and that is what you can put up with for a lifetime.
I'm with you on this one, Mominatrix.
How can you have a good life with your "soul mate" if you're total opposites in everything you do, think, feel? How can you think someone is your soul mate if your personalities, interests, and goals don't line up?
Attraction/lust will only carry you so far in a relationship.
Krys | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/7/2008 9:41:50 AM | | For one.......... that is where the teaching tool comes in, two.... not nice to pass judgement on someone who's not finanically stabilized. Three...... you money hungry??? Four....... everyone deserves a chance to be loved, take it or leave it. | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/7/2008 9:58:15 AM | wouldn't soul mate mean they match and satisfy you on every level...they quench your soul.
I'm not sure I actually believe in the concept of soul mates, except perhaps by way of genetic memory stored in the chromosomes. Still, having majored in religious studies, I've certainly read a fair bit about the soul (if indeed it exists) and soul mates. From what I recall, a twin-flame is a match...the soul starting out as male and female (or Scorpio & Virgo) unified, but then dividing (which speaks to the placement of Libra in the zodiac...which divides the male/Scorpio & female/Virgo) and once all the lessons are learned eventually reuniting. Twin flame = male and female halves of the same soul. But soul mates (of which it's said people can have many) play a different role. For example, they may have what you don't have or they may balance you in some way or complete you in some way. From this I should think a rich person might find a soul mate in a poor person. But it could be two rich people finding balance in one another, and so forth. Soul mates usually create some kind of conflict within one another and grow to be stronger by resolving that conflict. Hope that helps.
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/7/2008 10:04:35 AM |
Having just left MI I will tell you this...we bought a house 350K-and paid for it in 5 years....yes in this economy. Both cars were paid for and one is 2000 model and 2002 model. No we are not/were not executives-both of us made about 55K a year.
so you both make 55K...so together you make 110K....and after taxes i'm just estimating that you bring home over 83K. now please tell me how did you pay off a 350K house in 5 years?? | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/7/2008 10:22:42 AM | Actually men and women from vastly different socio-economic backgrounds have been making it work for years, allot of those social barriers that you describe started slipping during the 2nd world war, and by the 60s and the sexual revolution, they were pretty much shattered.
Just because someone is does not share the same economic background as you, does not mean they cannot communicate on your level, there are many women and men out there that are self taught, the amount of information that comes through the internet and cable news, means that only someone who really wishes to remain ignorant can do so.
Very often I have dated women who are below my economic scale, and you know what, they were far better with money than I was, as they tended to know the value of a dollar much better than I did.
To make such wide generalizations is simply being small minded, as always its best to make judgments based on the individual as opposed to making sweeping assumptions of large groups. | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/7/2008 10:26:38 AM | I got to agree with troll doll.....Big difference between people who are going thru hard times but were still trying best to stay in thier means and hard times hit...I did mortage refinaces in early 200o years and I refused and avoided new home purchase mortgage purchases....Refi people were using equity to pay off bills and lower monthly debt getting thier house payment in better % bracket saving money......And I saw people going wow 5% house mortage purchases ...At 30k a year I could not afford a $300k house only $90K house monthly payment.....So they tried to jump from modest houses to Mansions on low interest rates and low income.....Out of thier league and banks were jumping all over it seeing big profits......Why I did refis in private business could help people pay off debts and prepare for future economy woes and not set yourself up for total all out failure of finances coming.......Was like wake up we in recession need to be smart and buckle down the hatchs and dig in for long haul not buy rediculiously out of your means.......So bottom line is people need mental paths in common to be couples.......The guy on the couch with no money because he does not like to work but wants a 200k house and the responsible woman who wants to save money and work on it together not ganna match up......I my book I date only people who have common sence values with money......If hard times hit not thier fault they were doing best and common sence with money...But if they are broke because they drink it away or just wanting sugar daddy......sorry looking for common sence partner in or out of hard times........If I did not look at common sence woman I would just be a pimp and buying a pretty face,,,,,LOL,,,,,,so its a common sence issue not a woman wanting money.....At least I hope so I am thinking right...because if I am not...thinking we all in dateing recession also and we all going down the tubes with the economy and personal lives! | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/7/2008 10:31:40 AM | | your soulmate could be your next door neighbor rich and famous, he could be that boy that lives across the tracks in a shanty.................my man is not the richest financially but by god he is when it comes to all the other stuff that a relationship must have, the sincerity, trust, compassion, communication etc etc. | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/7/2008 10:32:57 AM | | Eh. I'm 23, my fiance is 26. I make 30k a year working at the local paper and he makes nil, being that he's a college student. Sure, I wish he made more (some?) money, but I believe that love doesn't see junk like that. So he's not a millionaire. He's not even a thousandaire. But he makes me feel like a billion dollars. | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/7/2008 10:40:13 AM | | Obviously everyone wants to meet the perfect person (notice how I don't use the word soul mate!). That person would be "perfect" in all ways. If there is an issue with financial stability you have to look at the reasons behind it. Is it circumstance or an issue of their character. If the answer is circumstance and the person has had tough times and is doing everything they can to get out of it, then that shows me character and strength. It's very simple! Now if you are asking for financial stability because you are looking for that or don't want to "share" then you should not be in a relationship - that simple. | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/7/2008 10:40:39 AM |
Do you read literature such as Romeo and Juliet, watch movies such as The Titanic (true story by the way) or even Tombstone (Wyatt Earp) ? Do you see the common thread that true love and "soul mate" defy social economic classes ? .
Ya, the Titanic sank, but the rest was typical Hollywood BS.
Soulmate and BBW are two of the most misused phrases I see online. | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/7/2008 11:01:27 AM | Why are we picking on Walmart? They hire a lot of people at all levels. One of the few places left that a person can get hired at an entry level position and work there way up. There are plenty of college graduates working at Walmart. How would you run an organization that size without them?
I'd date a girl who was working there. Life isn't a straight line of increasing income and wealth accumulation. At least not for everybody. We're all in different places. None of us can really compare ourselves to anyone else. If you try to you'll drive yourself crazy. | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/7/2008 11:06:33 AM |
Do you read literature such as Romeo and Juliet, watch movies such as The Titanic (true story by the way) or even Tombstone (Wyatt Earp) ? Do you see the common thread that true love and "soul mate" defy social economic classes ? . Reminds me of a line from Sleepless in Seattle...
Annie: Now that was when people KNEW how to be in love. They knew it! Time, distance... nothing could separate them because they knew. It was right. It was real. It was...
Becky: A movie! That's your problem! You don't want to be in love. You want to be in love in a movie. | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/7/2008 11:33:45 AM | > what if your "soul mate" is NOT financial stable ?
Even though I've yet to see a definition or discussion of soulmates which touches on financial aspects, I would think not being financially stable would be an asset.
Those new-agey and hyper-romantic types who are into the soulmate concept usually think money is an evil which is best avoided at all, er, costs. They always say stuff like "money can't buy happiness". At the very least, they tend to think money is not all that important, and that they're better than everyone else because of that belief. As a result, they tend not to have very much money. Thus, being without would seem to increase ones chances of finding ones soulmate. No money, but at least you have all that love as compensation.
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/7/2008 11:50:34 AM | | well I have firm belief that if what money is someones thing.....what is definition of the level of money to be consistant.....I have found that the most wealthiest people end up being drunks, cheaters, self medicating lost soles.....Money like a drug.....To little of it and you feel like you don't fit in...To much of it and you can't stop thinking of it and wanting more......To many times have I seen people with least amount of money being the ones that never sold thier sole and heart for a buck and the ones I wanted to hang with.....They might be just getting by but they did not sell out to the world for a buck, power and ego.......They could could truly put themselves out there and say hey this is me ....They had people look at them for the real woman and not wallet or how much plastic surgery they were rich enough to have done....The sole and heart of a person should never be sold for a buck.......If ya do you will have big house nice cars and money but be only thing you got......without heart your focus will be on them things and no one will want to be around ya and you will die alone and be alone with the things that you cannot take with you when days are over.......But the heart effecting other people you display will gain other hearts and enjoyment along the voyage of life and even after! | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/7/2008 12:12:21 PM | Personally, I think this issue has little do with money and more to do with integrity. In a roundabout way this almost comes down to how you feel about relationships in general, and how much crap you'll deal with before opting out.
I think thats that age old question that faces us all when dealing with matters of the heart. I'll use an extreme example to hightlight what I mean.
To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part.
Right there, that lays it out. What it comes down to is if a person can keep a promise such as this. Its a tall order to fill, and I don't believe most people have the integrity within their heart to make and keep a promise such as this.
Most love nowadays really come with stipulations.
I'll love you....
as long as you stay thin...
as long as we're not dirt ass poor...
as long as we keep our status in soceity...
as long as (insert anything here)
People will love each other, as long as they get more out of the realtionship then they put into it. Once love becomes a burden, most people split. Or course the measue of burden is subjective and is different for each person.
You see, you can replace money issue with pretty much any kind of problem. Some people drink, gamble, cheat, etc. What it really comes down to is what love means to them, and just how far they'd go for it. There are no knights in shining armor, this isn't a movie where people have deep meaningfull connections and beliefs about love. This is real life where people just want reletive comfort and to watch American Idol. Basically what I'm saying is that love isn't worth sacrificing one's self and happiness, and that most people won't do it. The concept of a noble love is for romance novels, the majority of people need something more concrete. | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/7/2008 12:19:03 PM |
I think thats that age old question that faces us all when dealing with matters of the heart. I'll use an extreme example to hightlight what I mean.
To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part.
Right there, that lays it out. What it comes down to is if a person can keep a promise such as this. Its a tall order to fill, and I don't believe most people have the integrity within their heart to make and keep a promise such as this.
Most love nowadays really come with stipulations.
I'll love you....
as long as you stay thin...
as long as we're not dirt ass poor...
as long as we keep our status in soceity...
as long as (insert anything here)
I would agree with you if we were only discussing comitted relationships. But why enter into a long-term relationship if you know a deal breaker exists? There is a big difference between something you might tolerate with someone your just dating, compared to supporting a spouse/partner. | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/7/2008 12:44:57 PM | Post #1
I sit and browse through these profiles, looking for that special someone, and at least 50 percent or more are looking for their soulmate who is financial stable. Good god what planet are you people on ? George Busch has created an economic depression, house forclosures are at a record high, unemployment is insanely high and the State of Michigan, I grew up in is WRECKED financially and a police state (another topic).
What is the correlation between soul mate and financial stable. What if your soul mate lives in Michigan, lost his job and got his house repoed ? Are you going to date the guy that works in the produce department at Walmart since he was 18, who you dont really like, cant have fun with and you end up cheating on because your soul mate lost his job and his house ?
Do you read literature such as Romeo and Juliet, watch movies such as The Titanic (true story by the way) or even Tombstone (Wyatt Earp) ? Do you see the common thread that true love and "soul mate" defy social economic classes ? Maybe you should look for a soul mate and friend and throw the shackles of your indoctrination in thinking that love is found only in financial stability or even in your own social economic class.
Foutheempire said :
This topic is in reference to soulmates. If you made it to soulmates with someone, you're long past the just dating stage.
And if someone post in thier profile tha they are "seeking their soulmate" they haven't even reached the dating stage yet. As I posted earlier, the term "soulmate" is amongst the most misused terms online. | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/7/2008 12:48:28 PM | I think the OPs use of fictional romance plots is befitting of his questions about the fictional relationship called "soul mates." The only problem is when he tries to get a practical answer about a fictional relationship.
Does "financially stable" have anything to do with "soul mate"??? NO. One is real and the other is a fantasy. One is something to daydream about like, oh say movie romances, and the other will determine whether you wind up sleeping in a shelter someday. One is great for anyone still being supported by mom and dad and the other is incredibly irresponsible for anyone thinking they may someday BE mom or dad to someone who is going to depend on them for not only survival, but hopefully also a childhood without a lot of financial drama and poverty.
What is the number one reason couples break up? Guess what, it's financial problems!
If you want a fantasy relationship, you're right OP, financial responsibility does not matter. Fortunately a lot of people are looking for something a bit more concrete. | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/7/2008 1:17:19 PM | What is the number one reason couples break up? Guess what, it's financial problems!
I thought it was because they don't have the balls to stick it out. Or in a more practical term, lack of integrity. | |
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You did not try to use Romeo & Juliet and the Titanic as ideals.
