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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/7/2008 9:23:27 PM |
so you both make 55K...so together you make 110K....and after taxes i'm just estimating that you bring home over 83K. now please tell me how did you pay off a 350K house in 5 years??
Probably by living like they're flat-ass broke college students.
83k x 5 years = 415k
415-350 = 65
65k/5 years =
$13,000 a year to live on, aside from the mortgage. You don't think that could be done? A little over $1,000 per month for 2 people, not including the mortgage is workable if you've got a goal in mind. | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/7/2008 11:06:38 PM | Graysam hit the nail on the head good relationships are a "merger" a sound financial deal where the corporate culture fits. Yes, you can fall for a hottie with great aesthetics but her good sense and financial stability will get you through hard times better than her good looks will. I'm pushing 50 and it's not my first picnic so call me jaded.
Wisdom varies, person to person. Compatibility is more important than finances. This should be based upon similarity of interests, goals, dreams, sexual compatibility, energy, humor, to name just a few of the ingredients. Finances are the bedrock of the most solid enduring foundations. | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/7/2008 11:11:17 PM | | Very well put and I am happy you gave credit where credit is due - none other than dubya dufus dumbf**k, the first, the one and only. Eight more months, will there still be a functioning economy? | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/8/2008 4:21:56 AM | You mention movies, but the same questions were examined by great novelists in the 19th century, such as George Eliot or Jane Austen or the Bronte sisters. Like it or not, wealth and status considerations occur in any human relationship, but the way they play out depends a lot on the class and status of the people courting each other. This is depicted in the novels I mention, and also the movies you mention (in the Titanic the female heroine is a rich heiress married to a rich mongrel, but who falls in love with a dirt poor immigrant with a good heart, and Romeo and Juliet can't marry because their families despise each other, being fierce competitors for the same territory and wealth in their native city).
I think financial stability helps maintain and sustain a good relationship, but it does not make a relationship. I think people who are financially stable are also stable in other ways as well; financial success usually requires qualities which are good for relationships as well, such as hard work, perseverance, intelligence, self-control, diligence and care, education, and adaptability. People who can pay their bills and do so on time, also have less stress and people with lower stress levels are likely to have more slack in the relationship to deal with other crises when they occur.
Even so, I think one needs to be careful in over-generalising about wealth. I think if you are a man or a woman, and you are financially successful and stable, this can certainly be an advantage in dating, but on its own, it does not constitute an overwhelming advantage if you lack other important personal qualities such as reasonable emotional stability, respect and decency towards your dates, sexual or physical attractiveness, or other qualities besides financial stability potential partners would find just as attractive.
I think if you are a man or a woman contemplating dating, you should have some degree of financial stability in place first, but also work on other good qualities you have, whatever they are. Focusing too much on wealth alone can make you neglect other important things, and hence your advantage might be negated if your approach is basically you merit love because you are rich, rather than you merit love because your good qualities as a person make you rich, financially and otherwise.
As for when people are in a serious personal or financial crisis, I think this can bring out what is really base or noble in people; some show their worst sides, while others show tenacity, courage and compassion. I would hope in the hard times my partner shows the good in her rather than the bad. | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/8/2008 4:32:18 AM | In this economy-I wouldn't have a soul mate that wasn't financially stable. I understand completely that catastrophic situations can come up: they have for me. A person just has to put themselves out there in the working world and practically beg for a job. Even if it's a housekeeping job, landscaping, etc. there's a lot of side jobs where one can make good money. As far as the housing; maybe they can talk to a social worker as myself and learn that there are alternatives to living arrangements. Even the Y and the shelters will offer help. God says we have to try to help ourselves 1st in order for him to help us. Sincerely-M.E. | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/8/2008 4:59:03 AM | Hi firebird,
I myself am on long term incapacity benefit(welfare)and never have a lot of money.Fortunately,since I turned sixty,I have enough to get me by. I've never,at any time in my life had a lot of money,but have always been happy,and ,to me ,happiness wins hands down. But I know that everyone does not feel the same as me,and if some lady stipulates that she wants a man who is financially stable then its her perogative(i know the spelling isn't right). Personally speaking,I have met a lot of rich men ,and nearly every one of them, is rich because they keep their money to themselves and don't spend it on anyone else. | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/8/2008 5:50:36 AM | | Busch is a guy who is an owner of a large US brewery. He also has several theme parks one here in FL that we call Busch Gardens. Great attaractions!. When you have too much beer and too much attractions you may become sentimental to a large extend. | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/8/2008 6:40:32 AM | i think what people are saying is "i might be naive enough to believe that there might be such a thing as a soul mate, but i am not so stupid as to let some idiot come along and suck my blood."
You could look at western capitalism in a very different way to what you are...
i do ...
i say as long as we live in the west we are not going to starve (maybe it is different in the USof A the richest country in the world)... and i am very financially stable - i've never got a lot of money coming in... so it's a good job i don't spend any... | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/8/2008 9:07:30 AM | Firebird, you use examples to support what a soulmate is and examples that pretty much contradict your point. If the souls are seeking one another, it would be fairly easy to step up the maintenance of the human vessel if they are on the planet at the same time. Personally, if my soulmate shows up in the form of someone that is going to suck the life out of me not only financially but emotionally, he is going to have to wait until I kick to get into my life. I don't have the luxury of finding spiritual happiness with someone at the expense of my ability to support my children.
I also don't admire the love that existed between Romeo and Juliet because they were not courageous but selfish lovers. They hid their love because they did not have the courage to stand up to their parents and end a ridiculous feud which is exactly what their love COULD have done. When one believed the other was dead, there was no courage to live on without them, that was the easy way out; they both took the easy way out. But when the characters in a love story are immature adolescents that are still primarily selfish beings the end they experienced is not particularly surprising. I like the Titanic better, that the woman survived and lived a full and apparently happy life without her young man. That is a courageous love, to give one's life for the other and to take the gift and run with it.
The premise of this thread is just another excuse to whine about why someone is alone rather than getting his or her shit together and making himself/herself someone that others actually want. | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/8/2008 9:10:00 AM | | I work/play for money. I don't seek dates or partners for it. Don't care if shes a bumb. I can have a fun date in her cardboard box so longs as I bring air freshner. | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/8/2008 9:16:38 AM |
I work/play for money. I don't seek dates or partners for it. Don't care if shes a bumb. I can have a fun date in her cardboard box so longs as I bring air freshner.
Well... hello there 
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/8/2008 11:09:10 AM | | If everyone is to busy figuring bank accounts, IRAs, and 401Ks in this country for sole mate... Then they misread dating instructions as kid when they started....It said look for someone that bonds with you not has Bonds.......To busy with calculator and not using heart as tool to finding sole mate...And for the dislexic Guys instructions said bonds with you not has boobs for you.....Why they call it sole (Heart) Mate (someone that bonds with you) not possesses bonds or boobs! ...if that is not clear enough then.....Best look for your sole mate on H&R block web site then and not be shopping for real people on here with heart bonds for sale!...LOL..Surely can find a mate overspending up to his eyes in debt with money bonds ready to loss everything in stock market type guy...Its like getting a nicely wrapped present for christmas...But you open it finally and you find a gift off of the penny toy rack...LOL | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/8/2008 2:44:28 PM |
I also don't admire the love that existed between Romeo and Juliet because they were not courageous but selfish lovers.
I 100 percent disagree. Courage ? they had the courage to love and act upon that love despite the adversity and obstacles, they are an example of courage. Selfish lovers ? how the hell do you get that ? They paid the ultimate SEFLESS price for their love, their own lives.
When you read literature you dont just skim through it like a Stephen King novel and assume your first impulsive impression based on reasons of viewing your world through the eyes of a projectionist. You ponder literature and try to understand the underlying truths. You think about it. Try to feel what the authour was trying to convey. Try to understand the characters, the time frame, how their environment was and how they related to it. You try to receive the message the authour was trying to send you.
The fued was a long standing fued of hatred that existed for generations. Romeo and Juliet did stand up to their parents, their parents forbid their love and their families felt both of them had an obligation to carry on the family hatred each on their respectful sides. It is also an example of love vs hate. Now how do you just suddenly stop a fued that was ongoing for generations ? Lead us by example go to George Busch and the leaders in Iraq, and have the COURAGE to end the war over there. You cant do it and neither could Romeo nor Juliet end the fued. If they lacked courage they would have done as their families demanded and became hateful enemies. They had the courage to be true to their hearts. | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/8/2008 3:14:01 PM | If a guy has enough money to pay his bills and a wee bit more besides for going out once in a while thats good enough for me.
If he lost his job, Im not going to ditch him, but he better be out looking for something else instead of sitting on his butt. | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/8/2008 4:03:32 PM | | live free die young!! live for the moments its just money!! you cant take it with you.life ebbs and flows no matter who you are until the day you die you will have to pay bills.if you can find the one then go for it!! | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/8/2008 5:29:24 PM | | Kind of makes you wonder how they populated Russia back in the day...They said if you could have a car....How much money you could have....And they would shoot you if you did not pay $.25 in taxs for a chicken....But Men and Women still meet, Dated and Married their sole mate!....What happened to us Folks!...LOL | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/8/2008 5:47:14 PM | Financial stability means a lot of things to a woman/man. It suggests you are ambitious, capable, self-sufficient and willing to carry any job you have to in order to reach your goals. Is this a bad thing? I don't think so. | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/8/2008 9:12:13 PM | I started studying Shakespeare in the 8th grade and would not bother wasting my time reading a Stephen King novel. Had either Romeo or Juliet died trying to save each other's lives that would have been courageous. Pseudo-intellectuals make me want to puke. The definition of tragedy is a dramatic representation of a series of actions in which the central character experiences a disastrous fate because of a fatal flaw or error in judgment.
They could have consummated the marriage and told both families of the wedding rather than hiding it. They could easily have left home if they felt their personal safety was in jeopardy and married and lived quite easily outside the influence of either family. Romeo could have immediately told Tybalt that they could not duel because he was married to Juliet. Romeo really starts the ball rolling with the tragedy when he kills Tybalt why? Because he is enraged that Tybalt killed his friend and during said rage totally forgot about his love for Juliet and the consequences of his actions.
Now Juliet does show some maturity and real love when she puts aside her feelings about Tybalt's death and remains firm in her loyalty to Romeo. It is with irony that the whole thing plays out as it does but the fact remains that Romeo does not have the courage to live without her, he did not sacrifice his life in order to save her because he was selfish and gave it away. Juliet does the same, rather than having the stones to live without him she too takes her life, a coward's way out of a temporary situation.
If you see this as courageous it is only because you have romanticized the story and fail to see it for what it is, just like people do not understand that there was little honor in chivalry; it was a code that allowed people to do stupid things that got many people killed unnecessarily, similarly to how people in contemporary society use trumped up issues to create support for waging baseless wars.
And btw, analyzing literature requires original thought and supporting evidence not just following the sheep that have already drawn trite conclusions. Romeo and Juliet behaved exactly as one would expect adolescents with raging hormones and poor impulse control and again, not remotely courageous. Better to have stood up to their parents, refusing to marry Paris and insisting that the feud be put aside so that they COULD marry with their parent's permission. | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/8/2008 10:25:44 PM |
just like people do not understand that there was little honor in chivalry; it was a code that allowed people to do stupid things that got many people killed unnecessarily
WOW,
Chivalry was a Knights code of honor. It was a way of life of morals and ethics which the Knights were willing to live by, die for and fight for.
What allows people to do stupid things and get many people killed is the lack of honor, lack of chivalry that we see on the streets today, the gangs and the young thugs who lack any type of honor, morals, ethics or chivalry. They dont have a code to fight for so they fight for their own selfish desires.
And btw, analyzing literature requires original thought and supporting evidence not just following the sheep that have already drawn trite conclusions.
NO, NO, NO
You dont have the right to do that. Literature was written by an author, Romeo and Juliet it was William Shakespear. Shakespear had a specific message, an underlying truth he was trying to convey. Analyzing literature is trying to determine the point the author was trying to get across, wether you agree with that point or not. You cant give your own interpetation of it. that is PROJECTION projection in psychology is projecting your own viewpoints on another person, (or literature which was written by a person) and saying its theirs. Like putting words in a persons mouth, in a way. You have to read Romeo and Juliet and try to determine what Shakespeare was trying to tell us. You dont have to agree with it or even like it but you dont have the right to change it because you dont like it.
You used the term "sheep" are you an Existentialist ? Did you study Nietzshe ? | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/8/2008 10:42:34 PM | projection
6 a: the act of perceiving a mental object as spatially and sensibly objective; also : something so perceived b: the attribution of one's own ideas, feelings, or attitudes to other people or to objects; especially : the externalization of blame, guilt, or responsibility as a defense against anxiety
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/projection | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/8/2008 10:50:02 PM | | Well sweetie, have you heard the phrase, that love does not pay the bills? Honestly, I think that most women just would like a man who can hold down a steady job, help pay the bills, and have a little left over for a nice dinner out once in a while, birthdays, and holidays, and have some savings to take care of unexpected expenses such as illness, car, our house. The definition also includes being financial responsible no matter how much money a man may have. For example, how in debt is he and what does his credit look like? Does he write hot checks, gamble, binge spend, etc? | |
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| what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/8/2008 10:52:41 PM | Actually any author worth a rat's behind would indicate that he had something he was trying to say but that he wanted his work to affect others which requires interaction and not just what the author was trying to say but what the reader takes away with it based on his personal experience and perception.
Read Gawain and the Green Knight with open eyes and again without accepting a well worn and too often used interpretation of a code about which you know nothing.
Literary analysis IS interpretation and you do not have to agree with MY interpretation only make your own evaluation about whether I have substantiated it.
Yes, I have studied Nietzsche and every other major philosopher as well as psychologists and pretty much most pieces of classic literature so could you go back to the idiotic premise of this thread that people should cling to a soul mate that is going to financially and emotionally ruin their lives because YOU, the arbiter of all that is holy, believe that it is right. | |
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