| It's all about looks...
Posted: 4/8/2008 6:11:56 AM | | hey.thats a good idea,but i want you to do this,cause you proved little on the looks thing.put those other good looking photos up there,ok,and change your profile saying you smoke, drink often,2 kids,and your recently seperated ,and looking to DATE.i bet you get the same amount of emails,this proving looks only,not personality.you might have to change that photo right.im a good looking guy too.when i tell them i drive truck,now its staight days,and weekends off.better than shift work. once i say that,poof,they are gone.my case its image, not looks.too many gamers and very picky overated women here.they need to look at themselves.let me know how you made out. | |
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 4/8/2008 8:24:52 AM | I totally disagree with the statement that its all about looks.
Its totally about perception, how you perceive yourself and how you allow others to perceive you.
I'm not exactly supermodel material, I'm overweight and have a low self esteem, I only make an effort with my appearance when I'm going out and I'm a total tom boy.
My new years resolution was to stop being negative about myself and my relationships, to stop looking for a relationship and relax within myself, in February, I met someone, he knows this next bit so I'll say it straight - he's not my type.
We spent a couple of dates together, he came with me to a club on our first date, with one of my mates. After that we spent evenings together on my sofa watching tv and chatting.
I've grown extremely fond of him, we've been seeing each other for nearly 7 weeks now, I've not felt this happy or comfortable with a person in a very long time. I can talk to him about anything and even my insecurities are a topic we can easily discuss.
And these are the same insecurities that have destroyed past relationships!!
Even with some people trying to stir things up and making accusations of him, I've discussed them with him and we've got past them, I've not allowed them to eat away at me like I would have before.
I'm not going to say I love this guy...it's too soon, but as you can see from my profile pic, we make a great couple even if I do say so myself!! lol
I've been on this site over a year and a half and met some shallow, small minded people who can only see the veneer, I've also met some very needy and insecure people, but I can assure you.......Looks are not everything, it just takes a while for your perception of yourself to change, when that happens, other peoples' perception of you is different.
I did and I've never been happier. | |
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 4/8/2008 9:16:08 AM | I'm an attractive lady that lives in a large urban area and I contact men from this site. I believe in being proactive and I've met a lot of terrific people. One thing that I've found is that often photos don't do the person justice. I try to meet the guy pretty quickly so I can tell if there is potential. Looks are changed when the personality comes through. A vibrant smile and warm conversation can make a very average looking guy evolve before my eyes. I believe you have to meet to judge personality too. It's too easy to scam people with an email, and most everybody is getting good at putting up a decent profile. When I put myself out there and take the risk, I get good responses. Good luck to all of you.  | |
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 4/8/2008 10:13:03 AM | | attraction... it's about attraction. We all have preferences. In response to "kissfan"... it's not the job but the "brains" I am attracted to. There is a man in the southern U.S. that is on a spiritual site, a trucker, that spells like crap (and that is something that bothers me) AND he has the most fabulous mind and deep insight. He is a person I am grateful for in my life. I have a man in my metaphysics class who is "homely" by many women's judgement and if he weren't married I would be courting him... I love his mind. He has so much going on and and can articulate his great knowledge and share. It's not all about looks. I always ask myself, could I greet this face in the morning over coffee? There are very few I have met that don't fit that criteria. There are lots of people on this site, as in life, that are less than "real" and less than "honest". That's okay... it's just the way it is. I have met some fabulous people through this site... men and women and am grateful to call them "friend". I have met with some very interesting "characters" through this site and have been grateful to see them in the rear view mirror. Haven't found the person who I will spend my life with ... yet. When the time is right... it will happen. Until then... make contact, make friends. Enjoy life. | |
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 4/8/2008 10:21:11 AM | | i have to agree with u, we live in a very shallow society....im sorry | |
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 4/8/2008 10:39:13 AM | come on guys, this is a website..
end of the day, theres only so much of your personality you can put into emotionless text in little boxes on a blue screen so really, the majority of the initial impression you give to someone is based on their pic!
this is how it goes for me..
Do i like the look of them..
Do appear to have anything in common..
send em a message and see what happens..
is that really so wrong? | |
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 4/8/2008 10:44:58 AM | GASP!!! I can't believe it!! I won't!!! Look take precedence over personality, heart & soul, and one's ability to make someone else feel loved and cherished?!!? What has the world come to?!!?
Seriously though.....it took you 3 years to figure out that 90% of the people on this site are about as shallow as a rain puddle in the mid summer heat of the Sahara? Man...I figured that out after 1 day on here.....and I've been on here a little over a year now. Doesn't stop me...I figure eventually there will be someone who thinks like I do and that looks are an 8, the heart & soul are the true 10 of any person.
Looks are just "window dressing" to everything else. | |
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 4/8/2008 10:55:34 AM | | ah but if the shop had broken windows full of dead flies would you still go inside? | |
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 4/8/2008 10:56:34 AM | | Guess he was just thinking people were more evolved in their thinking when chosing a "partner"..and he got brought down to reality...he's just guilty of thinking the best in people. | |
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 4/8/2008 12:38:26 PM | I know dating life is hard. I had dated so long and tried just about every dating site you could name.I got married and now that has fallen apart too.So do we just give up?I think not. I think we put God first then we find out what true happiness is all about.  | |
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 4/8/2008 12:39:32 PM | I obviously do not agree.
I do not even have my pic posted on here.
I get plenty of email
Many like what I have to say.
Of course they ask for a pic ,which I provide.
This way I know who my pic went to & it is not just out there( my own feeling)
Guess what!!! Some say sorry you are not my type, Other say lets talk & then meet.
I do the same to them.
That is called the REAL WORLD.
I will admit I do not like when I send the pic & get no response back at all"Just say no thanks"
But I am not here to teach proper manners.
Internet is tough...ya have to get thicker skin.
People have alot to say when safe in their home & just typing away that they would never have said to your face.
I see you are already gone.. I would have said not to have given up | |
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 4/8/2008 12:46:46 PM | This is my first time posting anything on a forum. But I agree, looks have a lot to do with it. I even emailed someone and asked them why they weren't intrested and this is what she wrote back:
SassyTX wrote:
ok, here is the bluntest answer you will probably ever get...
1- two of your pictures are unattractive, we do not want to see the inside of your nose;
2- the third picture is crooked and your face is too far away;
and
3- why aren't your smiling? this says to the ladies that you are hiding your teeth, we like men that smile.
courtesy of : sassyTX
http://www.plentyoffish.com/member6773422.htm | |
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 4/8/2008 2:35:40 PM | not cool posting her profile name..
You should edit that
the message comes across the same without saying who she is.
With you adding her name it just sounds to me like sour grapes.... | |
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 4/8/2008 3:06:04 PM | I think it's because you weren't dressed up in a fictional character costume, she seems to be more into guys that do that.  | |
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 4/8/2008 3:15:25 PM |
If you were give the choice of dating one of two people who had the EXACT same personality, interests, ambitions, etc. and one looked like Carmen Electra and the other like Rosie O'Donnell, who would you choose?
Hmm..... I don't know dating Carmen would be great but it would be a bit like owning a 1967 Ferrari 275GTB/4 in Rosso Corsa........ Could take you to the hights of wanton hedonistic pleasure when with her but you'd worry what was happening every time you left her alone somewhere....
So maybe on reflection Rosie might be the better choice......
Nah...not really..... Carmen every time! | |
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 4/8/2008 3:38:27 PM | Don’t you think that’s a bit shallow? They have inner beauty!’
We’ve all heard it at one time or another. To be decent human beings, we must look beyond the outer shell and see what’s inside a person. It has become an accepted social point that you shouldn’t talk about how good someone looks when thinking of dating them, so the usual clichés arise of them being funny, smart, kind hearted, easy going and whatever other hollow statement can be inserted here for just about anyone. And then it’s just a coincidence that they’re attractive, right?
Whether we admit it or not, looks do matter. They tend to matter less for women, maybe because they want to be the ‘pretty’ ones in the relationships, but deep down, we all take notice of how people look to some degree.
Part of the reason might lie in three things:
1. Britney Spears is ugly to some, beautiful to others
2. Old married couples start to look alike
3. Opposites Attract
If Britney Spears were truly beautiful, would she not appear beautiful to everyone? This is something that is clearly impossible. As the saying goes, ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’. So why would someone appear attractive to some and yet unattractive to others? What is it about her nose, or her cheekbones, or her eyes that causes different emotional responses in people?
There are studies that claim various facial features represent certain things. The accuracy of these studies is questionable, but the theory may have some worth. How is facial structure defined? An easy answer is through different people having children together and creating new shapes. This does not explain attraction beyond balance, though. A more complex answer is as follows:
When a man walks up to you, his brow stiff, his eyelids slightly lowered, his nose crooked and cheeks scarred, you might have a sense of uneasiness around him. Something just isn’t right. It seems he has made this unpleasant face a lot, so his face has begun to set in that shape. This would happen by using that emotion again and again, strengthening various muscles while others weaken from lack of use, defining a new facial shape, which would in turn cause the bones to mould to a new form as well. As logic would then suggest, to make that face so often, he must not have had the happiest life, or be the kindest person. You pick up on this, and as a result, you gain some insight into who he is through the life he’s lived.
Perhaps humans have learned to subconsciously read what emotions a bloodline has used most, giving us our general feelings around people and allowing us to at least get an idea of whether we will like them or not, or if we are compatible. You may have noticed you can understand your own race’s features better than other races, too (and they don’t all just ‘look alike’). They possess the shapes (the emotions they’ve used) you are most familiar with.
The next part is that humans often want to balance out their genetics when choosing a partner (for social reasons as well as evolutionary). This could be why opposites attract. We feel we are a bit dull, so we are attracted to someone sharper. We think our jaws are too thin, so we choose someone who has a wider than normal jaw.
And old married couples start to look alike maybe because they grow so used to seeing one another’s facial expressions and going through very similar emotions (being so close), they begin to use those emotions in the same way, which in turn will cause their faces to be shaped much the same (like the hypothetical scarred man mentioned earlier).
Whether any of this is true remains to be seen, but whatever the answer, remember: faces might hold the key to a general indication of what sort of life someone has lived and the type of people they are. But you can’t always judge a book by its cover, and with things as complex as humans, you best take it with a grain of salt.
It is not shallow to read people as long as you balance it with what they show you through their personality. To become truly beautiful, people need a healthy mind and a healthy body. So the next time you’re searching for a partner, or even a friend, by all means read into what you can see in their faces. You are not shallow for doing this. You are just practicing what is most likely an art form that has existed within us and all other animals on the planet since our early beginnings. If anything, if you can do this and be aware of what you’re seeing, you are deeper than even the people calling others shallow. To be interested in just looks or just personality is where the true shallowness resides. Keep it balanced.
Pia C. Windwolf | |
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B. A.
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Joined: 3/10/2008
Msg: 42 | |
| It's all about looks...
Posted: 4/8/2008 4:30:01 PM | I agree , to SOME people, it is all about the looks. BUT, my friends ,I believe that it's just a 'personal' choice. We all have different levels of attraction, 'to each his own' ya know.
Loosen up bro, they're not ALL like that... | |
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 5/2/2008 11:11:21 AM | SEE its people like you, that will only end up in nasty divorces or find someone who looks like carmen electra and has many many many miles on her oh thats attractive huh Grow up Really....... | |
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 5/2/2008 1:01:51 PM | .. Dear Tigger59,
.... There are many women on here that feel just like you do, Dude! So, instead of only emailing those with pictures that look like supermodels, WHY don't YOU email the 'other' ones with great written profiles, as well...? Instead of whining and taking your ball and going home... | |
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 5/2/2008 1:40:34 PM | dude.... of course its going to work like that. There are, depending on your region, sometimes over a thousand pics to look at. You have One thousand options lying before you, of course you will spend some time reading the profiles, but in the end when you are going through row after row after row after row you start choosing which ones to open based on the pics alone, because that is your first sign. People cant be blamed for this, you cant call them shallow or whatever. We are a creature based on sight. Period. We evolved that way, our ideas of compatibility are not based on pheromones or pretty words. They are based on what we see. "Love at first sight" not "love at first heard your opinion" or "love at first smelled your armpit" First sight, then opinions, then life situation... then probably smell. Sorry you took it so hard, there are plenty of places in the real world to pick up girls. Try like, singles night somewhere or speed dating or something. Ask some of your female friends to introduce you to their friends..
Best of Luck in your search, sometimes its only when you are not looking that you truly find what it was you were seeking. | |
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 5/2/2008 1:49:45 PM | Also PIAOWAKA.. I concur with your ideas. I have heard that recognition of beauty in facial features is derived more from symmetry than anything else. They did this study where they took an average looking girl, then with photoshop made her face more and less symmetrical. The enhanced pics symmetrically always scored higher across the board with different age ranges of males whereas the baseline and less symmetrical pics varied in the responces. I for one do not find britney spears attractive, her eyes are spaced to far apart and she has a big forehead. I am not being judgemental or shallow here, just callin it like I see's it. People are so PC nowadays, its almost gross  | |
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 5/2/2008 2:09:35 PM | | i found it interesting that jamesp commented about women's profiles having several photos without a smile -- he is not smiling in a single one of his profile photos either (at least the ones that are close enough to see his face) -- hmmmmmmm. | |
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 5/2/2008 2:12:17 PM | All one has to do is take a look at their ratings for their photos to see the wide difference in how people percieve you. I have several 10's and 5's and 1's... 10-1 scale, I have 10's and I have 1's lol.
eye of the beholder eye of the beholder eye of the beholder | |
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 5/2/2008 3:12:48 PM | | Looks will always be a big part of the game, but not everything. But they are a good starting point, since that is what is a big draw in on a dating site, that first look... | |
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 5/2/2008 3:43:31 PM | I like someone that makes me laugh and conversation , but attraction does grow once you get to know them....its not all about looks to me at all.... | |
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