| It's all about looks...
Posted: 5/2/2008 4:52:55 PM | Ahhhh...
Did anyone happen to catch the fun we were having a week or so ago with the "shrouded mystery" pics? I'm not going into the arguments or legality, but I posted pictures that left a little mystery to who I was. My face under a sheer curtain. Which basically made me look like I was in soft focus. You could still see my face, just not super clear. Same with a few other pics. People went crazy with it. They loved it. Because it was different and it was exciting.
Yes looks are sometimes exciting, but sometimes it can be something else. If you make your profile stand out in some way, I think you'll find that its not all about looks. Its about bringing excitement. In a sea of "well I really don't know what to say about myself, I'm just looking for a good woman and if you want to know anymore just ask". And then post three pics of you on a motorcycle and one fish...well...do I have to say what I'm going to do?
So if the model pictures worked I think it was about excitement. But that can be created in other ways. This style of dating has its limitations. You have to work around them. I assume this person is gone now. But I thought I throw in my 2 cents.
Its supposed to be fun. If its not, then you probably should go. | |
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 5/2/2008 7:06:32 PM | It's true. You wouldn't beleive what a suit and a rental car will do. Dress to impress........... | |
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 5/2/2008 9:43:56 PM | | It can be hard but i dont think its about looks so much as its about confince and being who you are. My last Gf was amazingly beautiful and also very smart as well. we just decided to be freinds because of certain place in our life vary so much. Looks do count yes , but look vary woman to woman and man to man very much so what one finds attractive another may not. Me beinga gemini though i must have a lady who is able to converse with me and be able to carry on a converstaion wbout the things i enjoy or i wil become bored quite quickly and i hate to say this very unintentive to her. Its also being able to catch the suptle signs of a lady and being able to tell what she wants and needs. | |
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 5/2/2008 9:57:10 PM | | I don't think that you have to look like a model to receive email on here. I do not look like a model and people talk to me all the time. You just have to realize that not everyone will be into you. | |
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 5/3/2008 1:16:59 AM | not for evryone but for a lot of people it is yes.
thats why its important to have pics in here.u get noticed with good pics.if u either have no pics or bad pics u seem to barely get noticed.
i know its the sad reality.
people are pretty shallow theses days. | |
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 5/3/2008 3:38:55 PM | | Russianchick...you caught my eye because of the glasses. I just bought a pair almost like them. So I checked out your profile and personally you look as much like a model to me as some of the girls Tyra puts up with. Its just that when you do model people think you are going to walk around looking airbrushed and perfect all the time. When really they are going to look like you. I promise I'm not hittin on ya. I just think you probably look better than you know. (or maybe care, you seem pretty secure.) | |
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 5/3/2008 5:04:14 PM | Well, the OP's little experiment simply proved that we are all hard-wired to select the best-looking mate we can catch. No surprise there. But the assholier-than-thou responses, such as in Msg 4 & 5, certainly are a disappointment, but not all that unusual on this site, which is becoming well-known for the high percentage of socially retarded people who frequent it.
Like the OP, I have also sent out many emails, which actually consist of actual sentences and actual paragraphs, with actual references to the profile I'm writing about. The usual response? None. Might as well have sent the normal "Hi. howzit goin'" no-brain peudo-email!
Speaking from a male point of view, and with the aid of empirical evidence, it appears that far, far too many of the women on here are just 'cruising;'; playing games; or scared sh*tless to (gasp!!) actually interact with ANYONE!! Not to mention having somewhat unrealistic expectations as well as, shall we say, rather liberal interpretations of what "average" body type actually is!! .
In short; socially retarded. 
(Of course, I'm sure all of the above apply just as much to the male membership of this site.) | |
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 5/3/2008 5:14:57 PM | It is indeed a shallow superficial world....... I hate the male model types myself, but it appears you have tested the theory and its unfortunate that you were right..........
I have found the same situation, my photos are the only thing men are interested in and as a result have hidden my profile, I cant stand th thought of men sitting in front of their computor leering at my photo and not paying atttention to who I am and what I have written, YUK...... | |
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 5/3/2008 7:04:53 PM | | try being a woman. Guys get cut so much slack for various reasons...... | |
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 5/3/2008 10:08:44 PM | so sorry you feel that way
write me and you'll find I am friendly and respect other's boundaries and limits
Catherine | |
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 5/3/2008 11:51:51 PM | Hazeldreaming-
Awe..thanks. Your message was nice.  Except I'm like 9 inches shorter than those girls. Lol. But I like being short. Never have to worry about being taller than my date. Hehe.
And woot for the same glasses! I am got mine awhile ago and I'm still stoked about em. | |
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 5/4/2008 1:27:09 AM | Well guys and gals,
i decided today to look at the postings.
I'm not a great looker and havent got great pics.I've been as honest as possible on my profile and have had some nice remarks.
Ive asked the people that have got in touch for honest critisisms and in most cases,because ive told them all about me,there have been no surprises.
Its like going in a shop,if the packaging is a bit dull looking,check out the details,you never know....you might be getting a bargain. | |
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 5/4/2008 7:37:07 AM | I have a tendency to agree with the OP.
I posted the current pictures on my profile as a fun joke ... folks who had attended a couple of POF parties with me encouraged it ... just to have fun with the "legs" part of it.
I wasn't getting much email prior to that and I admit the emails have picked up, but not to the point that I'm getting any dates. Mostly they are comments on my legs. With only a couple who have made nasty remarks (which I just ignore and then block), most emails are just to tell me that they like what they see and some even ask if I ever did any commercials for "L`egg's". I do get lots of emails containing comments regarding my postings here in the forums.
That's no surprise though, because I've been here posting for over 3 years with the exception of about 10 days where I took my profile down shortly after I lost my son. Actually it was through the encouragement of my friends here on POF that I put my profile back up and pretty much made myself available for their support over the past 2 1/2 years. It has been greatly appreciated.
I suppose if I were actively looking for a date, I might be disappointed. Although I wouldn't mind eventually getting involved in some sort of long-term relationship, I'm currently still healing from my own personal tragedy, so I'm not all that concerned that I'm not being showered with emails and invitations to go out on dates. | |
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 5/4/2008 9:19:17 AM | | Hi wanted to reply to your comment you made. Read one womans profile on her that said she had children. when I chat with her on IM and asked her how old they were she flipped out and said it was on her profile and all it said was she had children. She then told me she had 2 teenagers and when I told her that she has her hands full then she really got mad. Sent me back a message telling me that she was still Legally MARRIED and that I was the Idiot. | |
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 5/4/2008 11:05:54 AM | OK, so it's true. Lots of people are judging too quickly based on looks alone. Women do it. Men do it. We all do it. And because of this, at one time or another we all lose out on the opportunity to meet some wonderful people and maybe even find true love. Sigh.
You know what bugs me? The ads for dating sites that use drop-dead beautiful professional models, with captions like, "look who's waiting to meet you on Lavalife." I know beauty sells. So obviously they have to use beautiful women in the ads (All the ads I've seen have been directed at men. I don't know why there aren't ads directed at women). But what does this do to our expectations of what other people are supposed to look like? I think a lot of men are subconsciously searching for that supermodel in the ad when they're on a dating site (She's on the site somewhere, waiting to meet them...!) 
Men and women both get inundated with Photoshop-enhanced images of unrealistically beautiful people all day long in all the media. So in our minds, beautiful is now the new "normal." Then we get on a site like this, with a "catalogue" of faces to flip through, and we get a little superficial. Surprise, surprise... | |
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 5/14/2008 6:44:06 AM | Whether it is all about looks is irrelevant and maybe is best described as being all about choices. We all have the right to make our own choices, knowing that we have to live with those choices. I take no offense at all to the ladies I have messaged and who have not responded or deleted without reading, for whatever their reason…I didn’t live up to their choices for themselves. So what? There are many ladies here who don’t match what my choices are either, and I hope they don’t take offense to the fact that I have the right to make those choices for myself. I don’t consider them to be shallow for rejecting me or vice-versa…it’s like I said, it’s all about choices, and our right to make them for ourselves.
Something that gets my dander up a bit is when a person is told that they should “lower their standards”. If someone ever told me that they would lower their standards and go out with me is the day I would tell them they don’t meet my “standards” anymore, as much as I hate that term is this context. I can’t imagine being with someone who thought you weren’t good enough for them, but would see if they could tolerate you. Not in this lifetime.
First impressions are very important and you have to accept that on sites such as these, the first impression is usually your picture. If someone’s picture doesn’t appeal to you, then you cross them off your list…they don’t match your choice… regardless of their personality or interests. If you’re on a dating site, if you can’t accept that fact, then perhaps on-line dating isn’t for you. Getting upset over rejection on a dating site may be a sign of desperation, and not a good trait to be projecting to potential dates. Use the site as another option, not the main mode of meeting someone, and also for a bit of entertainment in the forums. If you meet someone with whom you are compatible, then great, but if not, shrug it off and move on.
Just my 2 cents…. | |
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 5/15/2008 9:12:10 PM | Maybe u should write somebody that is less hot?  But fat ulgy girls don't write back either to me!!! | |
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 5/15/2008 10:53:09 PM | Right on! I like your last sentence. My two other close friends and I have hard time getting dates. One looks kinda like Tila Tequila (some say), and the other is a beautiful blonde. I'm not talking about dating random guys, but guys we actually like or wouldn't mind getting to know him because of his personality or looks, which is not everything. A good looking model type guy with hot bod but has**** attitude is such a turn off.
I recently met someone from this site that I didn't think I'll like because he doesn't look like Brat Pitt, Tom Brady, or Jason Lewis. To my reluctance, I agreed to meet up with him for a drink. To my surprise, he turned out to be a cool guy, and there was even some chemistry. Now I'm chasing his butt. I'm just not sure he's really into me as I am into him. He's so sweet when we're together. When we're apart, it'll be SEVERAL days to a week before he'll call. What's up with that?
Anyhow, to a guy who wrote the "good-bye letter," just be patient, work on having a positive outlook in life, and perhaps workout some more like that one guy said, to gain confidence within yourself. As I'm typing this, I'm also telling myself to do the same. It's been 7 years since I had a real relationship. Few others I've dated after that, played with my heart and emotions.
Good luck to you! | |
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 5/17/2008 7:57:28 PM | | Well, I guess being about looks is part of it but it's to be expected. Do people read the profiles of people they don't find attractive when they look at their pictures?? Even in real life, do you try to start a conversation with someone who didn't make a good first impression?? People are entitled to like what they like. I'll keep trying until I find someone who likes me. | |
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 5/17/2008 8:10:43 PM | I really wanted to check out your profile, but it was not there. I have been on POF for a couple of months. I have actually went on a couple of dates, went to a couple of POF events, had numerous phone conversations, and I would say that about half of my e mails are answered. I am no model by any means. I would probably describe myself as average. I also try to send messages to people I would actually have a possibility of dating and not someone that I have nothing in common with. I really think it has to be your profile. The picture whores are just that ...whores. I know from my experience, I need to be real.
If someone approaches me, I ALWAYS reply and communicate with them at least a few times. I dont care what they look like. I appreciate the fact that someone would take the time to show an interest.
I have found POF to be a good experience and I am sorry it did not work out for you.... | |
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 5/17/2008 10:42:06 PM | There really is someone for everyone. But no one likes a bitter person.
good luck..
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| It's all about looks...
Posted: 5/18/2008 1:34:21 AM | | Too bad that U had such poor results. And they always say "Looks don't matter, I'm just looking for a nice guy" LOL I think U struck pay dirt! Nobody wants to admit it, but looks DOES matter, at least to the majority? I thought this was a great site for free & even though I'm a new member, I do have high hopes? ;-) Thanks for the input, and good luck on finding your match. | |
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