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| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/16/2008 4:01:10 PM | yes, pendulum in the middle is the goal. I agree. So that decisions as to what is best for a child can be made on meaningful factors, not social stereotypes.
Of course, for it to get to the middle, it has to give fathers a more serious look as caregivers. You can't get to the middle from the left without moving right.
I also agree that regardless of who is the primary caregiver, both parents should be seriously considered as important caregivers. This is provided they are both willing and well suited.
By the way, as I type this I can look out my window at my children rollerblading in the culdesac. Nothing beats happy well adjusted children. Makes all this squabbling seem so unimportant. I'm going outside to play now. | |
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| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/16/2008 5:18:05 PM | I don't know that you can pull a bunch of numbers saying fathers just walk out, either.
census bureau has these numbers and projections and they are published.i.e. the freedom of information act. I SAID THAT BEFORE.
it will also reveal something quite interesting about the longevity of homosexual relationships that completely blows out of the water the notion they homosexual marriage should remain illegal. (something of another thread and certainly not this site, too many "phobes" here)""
What I don't understand Trish, is I always agree with you on every other thread. For some reason on this one, you seem to have the EXACT opposite stand, as what you have, everywhere else... I really don't get it.""
while you may see it that way, i have not had that same experience. that, and i dont really see the relevance of saying that. | |
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| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/16/2008 8:21:47 PM | Here are some links to studies and statistics that some keep begging to see. If anyone would like more just say so cause I have many. The next group of links I post will be on Parental Alienation studies.
Shared parenting is best for children
http://www.childrensjustice.org/sharedparenting.htm
NATIONAL CENTER FOR POLICY ANALYSIS
What's Wrong With Single-Parent Families?
http://www.ncpa.org/studies/s187/s187h.html
The Impact of Family Formation Change on the Cognitive, Social, and Emotional Well-Being of the Next Generation
Why Do Single-Parent Families Put Children at Risk?
http://www.futureofchildren.org/information2827/information_show.htm?doc_id=290708 | |
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| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/17/2008 3:57:42 AM | I can certainly appreciate your point; however, nobody is going to help you get your rights but you. I've put over four years into reading family law, and I've thus far kicked the judiciary crap out of my x's first two attorneys. That's right! I have sole legal and sole physical, have kept it for five years, and that's not about to change. I'd normally agree that kids need both parents, but it's not always a fact. And if you think those damn attorneys are going to crack a law book for dad, you'd better guess again. All the laws you need are in place; however, if you don't read them, it's entirely your own, damn fault. Most states have a judicial web site with all the written laws available to read; find yours... this in mine:
http://www.leginfo.ca.gov/calaw.html | |
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| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/17/2008 7:13:15 AM | p-trishTHEdish wrote:
TRY TO UNDERSTAND THIS ONE. swinging the pendulum back the other way doesn’t solve any of the fundamental issues with the system, it merely creates new ones and masks others in the form of the other gendered parent.
LIKE I HAVE ANY DIFFCULTY UNDERSTANDING THE HIGH WISDOM YOU REGURIGATE? What was it that set you off, anyway? Was it when I stated that women all across the country are presently facing trial for Parental Alienation, or when I stated that over 80% of death rowe criminals came from fatherless homes? Because these are just factual statistics and I did not mean to imply that you are alienating your kids from their father or that your kid is out of control and going to end up a hardened criminal.
YOUR ARGUMENT is the same one which was used by men who wanted to keep women from voting.
YOUR ARGUMENT appears to encourage the notion that we should just allow things to run their course, or worse, that the genuine efforts that Men/Fathers have expended to change legislation making the system more just for the sake of our children was for naught because if we waited long enough the imaginary pendulum used in quasi-intellectual models, would ultimately have come here anyway.
you dont want an even playing field, you want fathers to be given "first refusal" as it were
YES - I want and have worked long and hard to earn and even playing field (and I am helping other mean to do likewise all across the country.
YES - I want fathers to be given the "right of first refusal" and legally they must in the case of a divorce. One of the very first issues I attacked was the "right of first refusal” because otherwise you have
1. Women getting the majority of the time with the child;
2. Financial rewards supported by the stilted time with the child;
3. The mother leaves the child with others who further estrange the child from dad.
and you have told us all this repeatedly as you have ranted on and on and endlessly on about how your ex did you wrong and how much of a victim you are
Remember the facts as anyone reading this thread can go back and re-read - I AM NOT A VICTIM - I spent 10 years correcting the injustices imposed by the courts and enforced by feminazi, man-hating shrews. A victim whines about: "poor me" and what I did was correct my own custody order while united with other Men/Fathers to make legislative change on a state and federal level so that OUR ACTION HAS A LASTING EFFECT ON SETTING THE BALANCE RIGHT for the kids, the fathers and even the reluctant mothers.
blah blah blah..............
I don't know how to respond to this except to say that if you have a problem with me and the good work I have and continue to do on behalf of the Men's Movement for Father's Rights to father our children... perhaps " I " am not the source of YOUR SELF EVIDENT PROBLEMS.
enough with the sob stories already. you could be your own lifetime network for krists sake!
Intelligent, well versed AND respectful. You really are "THE DISH" aren't you? Nobody is sobbing over here, the former spouse is happy and living large, the child is happy and I am enjoying a more enriching relationship with my child and my former spouse.
How exactly did you get, what you refer to as a "sob-story" out of this. Unless a man making a positive affect in the life of his child be correcting the court imposed injustice, while still being great to his former spouse is making you sob. I'm sorry.
im still waiting for you to explain to me how changing the childs address merely to suit the father is of any good to the child when the home they live in is stable and the father has full access.
You illustrate your hostility to men in your remark which makes a thought process like yours dangerous to children. You demonstrate that you have zero grasp on the reality of the importance of a relationship with their father is.
Your proposition that it is only changing the childs address merely to suit the father, when in fact it is to better meet the need of the child to maintain a meaningful relationship with the father, and this is a need which is beyond measure although psychiatric specialists all agree that it is an imperative need nonetheless.
cuz if you are really fair about this, a lot of absent parents/fathers play this custody thing when there is nothing actually to fight about, its a power play, and its certainly not in the best interest of the children.
May I point out your use of the spelling "CUZ"? as an indicator to the readership as to the level of merit we are dealing with in reading your enraged histrionics? And I don't know about "a lot of absent parents/fathers" and what they do or don't do. And I don't know about there being "nothing actually to fight about" when the welfare of our children is at hand.
I will agree with you where you say: "its a power play, and its certainly not in the best interest of the children", but this is the nature of divorce. We all know that the one who suffers most in divorce is The Child. And this is why the change in legislation and in our very own custody order which the Father's Rights movement is exacting as we speak is so necessary in mitigating the harm done to our children by the ravages of divorce.
"my kid and my former spouse are the ones nominating me for "father of the year"."" would this be the same ex you have raked over the coals in this thread?
I just re-read my posts - and I encourage the readers to do likewise, because what I discovered is that I have done no "raking over the coals" in regards to anyone person, but rather about the dysfunction of the system - and some people like angry, man-hating antagonists who defy equal parentage.
As for my reference to my former spouse, yes this is the person who, with my child would nominate me for "father of the year" award - your words.
I have spent the last 10 years being the best dad possible, while still supporting the mother, putting her through university, clothing her, hell inviting her out with me and our kid (movies, amusement parks, birthday parties with the child).
That didn't stop me from taking the case back to court and setting things straight though, because I wasn't setting things straight to hurt anyone - but out of love for my kid. The mediator saw that, the judge saw that, after a while even my former spouse saw that.
But you know what is most important? My child saw that. My child saw a pro-active, loving father modeling the behavior that, even if we disagree with each other, we can still be good, just and equitable with each other - and that is exactly what The Father's Rights Movement is doing as this is being written - all across the nation.
READERS, stay tuned as DREAMBOAT333 posts more factual details as to how THE FATHER'S RIGHTS MOVEMENT is creating positive change in the lives of children through SHARED PARENTING and how "p-trishTHEdish" continues to use shame-based guilting tactics to try to get one up on him in her losing argument based on histrionics.
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| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/17/2008 7:15:25 AM | p-trishTHEdish wrote:
TRY TO UNDERSTAND THIS ONE. swinging the pendulum back the other way doesn’t solve any of the fundamental issues with the system, it merely creates new ones and masks others in the form of the other gendered parent.
LIKE I HAVE ANY DIFFCULTY UNDERSTANDING THE HIGH WISDOM YOU REGURIGATE? What was it that set you off, anyway? Was it when I stated that women all across the country are presently facing trial for Parental Alienation, or when I stated that over 80% of death rowe criminals came from fatherless homes? Because these are just factual statistics and I did not mean to imply that you are alienating your kids from their father or that your kid is out of control and going to end up a hardened criminal.
YOUR ARGUMENT is the same one which was used by men who wanted to keep women from voting.
YOUR ARGUMENT appears to encourage the notion that we should just allow things to run their course, or worse, that the genuine efforts that Men/Fathers have expended to change legislation making the system more just for the sake of our children was for naught because if we waited long enough the imaginary pendulum used in quasi-intellectual models, would ultimately have come here anyway.
you dont want an even playing field, you want fathers to be given "first refusal" as it were
YES - I want and have worked long and hard to earn and even playing field (and I am helping other mean to do likewise all across the country.
YES - I want fathers to be given the "right of first refusal" and legally they must in the case of a divorce. One of the very first issues I attacked was the "right of first refusal” because otherwise you have
1. Women getting the majority of the time with the child;
2. Financial rewards supported by the stilted time with the child;
3. The mother leaves the child with others who further estrange the child from dad.
and you have told us all this repeatedly as you have ranted on and on and endlessly on about how your ex did you wrong and how much of a victim you are
Remember the facts as anyone reading this thread can go back and re-read - I AM NOT A VICTIM - I spent 10 years correcting the injustices imposed by the courts and enforced by feminazi, man-hating shrews. A victim whines about: "poor me" and what I did was correct my own custody order while united with other Men/Fathers to make legislative change on a state and federal level so that OUR ACTION HAS A LASTING EFFECT ON SETTING THE BALANCE RIGHT for the kids, the fathers and even the reluctant mothers.
blah blah blah..............
I don't know how to respond to this except to say that if you have a problem with me and the good work I have and continue to do on behalf of the Men's Movement for Father's Rights to father our children... perhaps " I " am not the source of YOUR SELF EVIDENT PROBLEMS.
enough with the sob stories already. you could be your own lifetime network for krists sake!
Intelligent, well versed AND respectful. You really are "THE DISH" aren't you? Nobody is sobbing over here, the former spouse is happy and living large, the child is happy and I am enjoying a more enriching relationship with my child and my former spouse.
How exactly did you get, what you refer to as a "sob-story" out of this. Unless a man making a positive affect in the life of his child be correcting the court imposed injustice, while still being great to his former spouse is making you sob. I'm sorry.
im still waiting for you to explain to me how changing the childs address merely to suit the father is of any good to the child when the home they live in is stable and the father has full access.
You illustrate your hostility to men in your remark which makes a thought process like yours dangerous to children. You demonstrate that you have zero grasp on the reality of the importance of a relationship with their father is.
Your proposition that it is only changing the childs address merely to suit the father, when in fact it is to better meet the need of the child to maintain a meaningful relationship with the father, and this is a need which is beyond measure although psychiatric specialists all agree that it is an imperative need nonetheless.
cuz if you are really fair about this, a lot of absent parents/fathers play this custody thing when there is nothing actually to fight about, its a power play, and its certainly not in the best interest of the children.
May I point out your use of the spelling "CUZ"? as an indicator to the readership as to the level of merit we are dealing with in reading your enraged histrionics? And I don't know about "a lot of absent parents/fathers" and what they do or don't do. And I don't know about there being "nothing actually to fight about" when the welfare of our children is at hand.
I will agree with you where you say: "its a power play, and its certainly not in the best interest of the children", but this is the nature of divorce. We all know that the one who suffers most in divorce is The Child. And this is why the change in legislation and in our very own custody order which the Father's Rights movement is exacting as we speak is so necessary in mitigating the harm done to our children by the ravages of divorce.
"my kid and my former spouse are the ones nominating me for "father of the year"."" would this be the same ex you have raked over the coals in this thread?
I just re-read my posts - and I encourage the readers to do likewise, because what I discovered is that I have done no "raking over the coals" in regards to anyone person, but rather about the dysfunction of the system - and some people like angry, man-hating antagonists who defy equal parentage.
As for my reference to my former spouse, yes this is the person who, with my child would nominate me for "father of the year" award - your words.
I have spent the last 10 years being the best dad possible, while still supporting the mother, putting her through university, clothing her, hell inviting her out with me and our kid (movies, amusement parks, birthday parties with the child).
That didn't stop me from taking the case back to court and setting things straight though, because I wasn't setting things straight to hurt anyone - but out of love for my kid. The mediator saw that, the judge saw that, after a while even my former spouse saw that.
But you know what is most important? My child saw that. My child saw a pro-active, loving father modeling the behavior that, even if we disagree with each other, we can still be good, just and equitable with each other - and that is exactly what The Father's Rights Movement is doing as this is being written - all across the nation.
READERS, stay tuned as DREAMBOAT333 posts more factual details as to how THE FATHER'S RIGHTS MOVEMENT is creating positive change in the lives of children through SHARED PARENTING and how "p-trishTHEdish" continues to use shame-based guilting tactics to try to get one up on him in her losing argument based on histrionics.
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| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/17/2008 10:06:37 AM |
im still waiting for you to explain to me how changing the childs address merely to suit the father is of any good
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services
Administration for Children and Families
Administration on Children, Youth and Families
Children’s Bureau
Office on Child Abuse and Neglect
Fathers and Their Impact on Children's Well-Being
A noted sociologist, Dr. David Popenoe, is one of the pioneers of the relatively young field of research into fathers and fatherhood. "Fathers are far more than just 'second adults' in the home," he says. "Involved fathers bring positive benefits to their children that no other person is as likely to bring."6 Fathers have a direct impact on the well-being of their children. It is important for professionals working with fathers—especially in the difficult, emotionally charged arena in which child protective services (CPS) caseworkers operate—to have a working understanding of the literature that addresses this impact. Such knowledge will help make the case for why the most effective CPS case plans will involve fathers.
This chapter lays out the connection between fathers and child outcomes, including cognitive ability, educational achievement, psychological well-being, and social behavior. The chapter also underscores the impact of the father and mother's relationship on the well-being of their children. While serving as an introduction to the issues, this chapter is not intended as an exhaustive review of the literature. For the reader wishing to learn more, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (http://fatherhood.hhs.gov/index.shtml), the National Fatherhood Initiative (www.fatherhood.org), and the National Center for Fathering (www.fathers.com) are valuable resources.
Dispelling the Stereotype of Low-income Fathers
It is very important for anybody working with fathers, especially CPS caseworkers, to dispel one common stereotype: the image of low-income urban fathers as disengaged and uninvolved with their children. As Dr. Michael Lamb has stated, "Our research really bashes the stereotype of the low-income father. These fathers care about their kids, but may not show their love in conventional ways and sometimes a lack of a job, poor communication with the mom, or even their own childhood experiences can prevent them from getting involved."24 Too often, professionals may assume that a low-income, urban dad who does not live with his children is uninvolved with, even unconcerned about, his children. This can push a father away from his family, the exact opposite of what a CPS caseworker wants to see happen.
6 Popenoe, D. (1996). Life without father: Compelling new evidence that fatherhood and marriage are indispensable for the good of children and society (p. 163). New York, NY: The Free Press; Stanton, G. T. (2003). How fathers, as male parents, matter for healthy child development [On-line]. Available: http://www.citizenlink.org/FOSI/marriage/A000002226.cfm. back
7 Lamb, M. E. (2002). Infant-father attachments and their impact on child development. In C. S. Tamis-LeMonda & N. Cabrera (Eds.), Handbook of father involvement: Multidisciplinary perspectives (pp. 93-118). Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum; Cummings, E. M., & O'Reilly, A. W. (1997). Fathers and family context: Effects of marital quality on child adjustment. In M. E. Lamb (Ed.), The role of fathers in child development (3rd ed., pp. 49-65, 318-325). New York, NY: John Wiley & Sons; Lamb, M. E. (1997). Fathers and child development: An introductory overview and guide. In M. E. Lamb (Ed.), The role of fathers in child development (3rd ed., pp. 1-18, 309-313). New York, NY: John Wiley & Sons. back
8 Gable, S., Crnic, K., & Belsky, J. (1994). Coparenting within the family system: Influences on children's development. Family Relations, 43(4), 380-386. back
9 Pruett, K. (2000). Father-need. New York, NY: Broadway Books; Sternberg, K. J. (1997). back
10 Pruett, K. (2000). back
11 Goldstine, H. S. (1982). Fathers' absence and cognitive development of 12-17 year olds. Psychological Reports, 51, 843-848; Nord, C., & West, J. (2001). Fathers' and mothers' involvement in their children's schools by family type and resident status [On-line]. Available: http://aspe.hhs.gov/search/fatherhood/htdocs/pdf/nces-2001032.pdf. back
12 Nord, C., & West, J. (2001). back
13 Yeung, W. J., Duncan, G. J., & Hill, M. S. (2000). Putting fathers back in the picture: Parental activities and children's adult outcomes. In H. E. Peters, G. W. Peterson, S. K. Steinmetz, & R. D. Day (Eds.), Fatherhood: Research, interventions and policies (pp. 97-113). New York, NY: Hayworth Press; Harris, K. M., & Marmer, J. K. (1996). Poverty, paternal involvement, and adolescent well-being. Journal of Family Issues, 17(5), 614-640; Pleck, J. H. (1997). Paternal involvement: Levels, sources, and consequences. In M. E. Lamb (Ed.), The role of fathers in child development (3rd ed., pp. 66-103). New York, NY: John Wiley & Sons. back
14 Palkovitz, R. (2002). Involved fathering and child development: Advancing our understanding of good fathering. In C. S. Tamis-LeMonda & N. Cabrera (Eds), Handbook of father involvement: Multidisciplinary perspectives (pp. 119-140). Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum; Wilcox, W. B. (2004) Soft patriarchs, new men: How Christianity shapes husbands and fathers. Chicago, IL: University of Chicago Press; Hofferth, S., & Anderson, K. (2003). Are all dads equal? Biology versus marriage as a basis for paternal investment. Journal of Marriage and Family, 65(1), 213-232; Clarke, L., Cooksey, E. C., & Verropoulou, G. (1998). Fathers and absent fathers: Sociodemographic similarities in Britain and the United States. Demography, 35(2), 217-228. back
15 McLanahan, S., Garfinkel, I., Reichman, N., Teitler, J., Carlson, M., & Norland Audigier, C. (2003, March). The fragile families and child well-being study. Baseline national report. Princeton, NJ: Center for Research on Child Wellbeing. back
16 Gibson, G., Edin, K., & McLanahan, S. (2003, June). High hopes but even higher expectations: The retreat from marriage among low-income couples. Princeton, NJ: Center for Research on Child Wellbeing. back
17 Horn, W. (2003). Closing the marriage gap [On-line]. Available: http://www.crisismagazine.com/june2003/horn.htm. back
18 Pruett, K. (2000); Lamb, M. E. (2002). back
19 Parke, R.D. (1996); Lamb (2002). back
20 Parke, R.D. (1996). back
21 Mosley, J., & Thompson, E. (1995). Fathering behavior and child outcomes: The role of race and poverty. In W. Marsiglio (Ed.), Fatherhood: Contemporary theory, research, and social policy (pp. 148-165). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage. back
22 Mosley, J., & Thompson, E. (1995). back
23 Horn, W., & Sylvester, T. (2002); U. S. Department of Health and Human Services, Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). (1996). The relationship between family structure and adolescent substance abuse. Rockville, MD: National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug Information; Harper, C., & McLanahan, S. S. (1998). Father absence and youth incarceration. Paper presented at the Annual Meeting of the American Sociological Association, San Francisco, CA; Brenner, E. (1999). Fathers in prison: A review of the data. Philadelphia, PA: National Center on Fathers and Families. back 24 Marsiglio, W., Day, R. D., Braver, S., Evans, J. V., Lamb, M. E., & Peters, E. (1998). Social fatherhood and paternal involvement: Conceptual, data, and policymaking issues [On-line]. Available: http://fatherhood.hhs.gov/CFSForum/c4.htm. back | |
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| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/17/2008 10:47:59 AM | the ship has sank!
u r a complete and utter joke. you clearly dont understand what "unbiased source" means. AND AGAIN, you are singularily motivated on what you want instead of putting your attention on your kids. its got to be one or the other, you cant focus on both. your entire stance is not on kids but "fathers" . good grief,, look at the multitude of "sources" you offered for an example of this. the majority have the word father or some form of that term in the title. with all that, you seriously expect anyone to believe your main goal is the betterment of children? only an idiot would make that assumption. | |
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| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/17/2008 1:25:20 PM |
u r a complete and utter joke. you clearly dont understand what "unbiased source" means.
I, for one, would prefer we refrain from letting the dialogue degenerate into name calling and tantrums.
I don't think it is a joke to do everything we can to care for our kids, and I am sorry that you do.
You thumbed you nose at me asking me to tell you how my movement puts kids first; and I gave you The Children's (not the fathers) Rights Council and The Children's (not the father) Bill of Rights; you ordered me to explain to you my sources which put the kids as the priority in keeping them involved with their fathers - and I have provided numerous scholarly sources inclusive of governmental agencies such as The United States Deparment of Health Statistics of Child Development and Child Protective Services which speak to the need of fathers in children's lives.
So, as for a ship shinking - we'll always be happy to throw you a life-saver, just leave the attitude out at sea.
AND AGAIN, you are singularily motivated on what you want instead of putting your attention on your kids.
I just put gas in the mother's car so she can meet me at our child's stage production at the private school that I pay for. I am cutting checks as this is being posted, to the mother's utility company, to her automotive insurance company... to everyone it seems but her university which she is attending because I drove the moving truck to get her across the country where we set up camp.
So... explain how my fighting IN PRO PER and winning SHARED CUSTODY is anything but putting my attention on my kid?
1. I kept the mom in the kids life and the kid in the mom's life
2. I care as much for the mother and the child financially and materially even though our order does not call for it;
3. My insurance puts the mom and I through Co-Parenting Counselling and keeps the whole scene healthy.
It seems pretty evident that your issue is slanted entirely the other direction and as long as there is a happy, healthy wholesome MAN in the child's life you have an axe to grind. I wonder why that would be.
Its got to be one or the other, you cant focus on both. your entire stance is not on kids but "fathers".
Look, we can all read the posts and see what is really at work here, you have revealed yourself. I'm not the guy you want to make me out to be and my argument has been clearly detailed as putting the spiritual, psychological, phsyical and social needs of the child (and children) first.
This is not even about that anymore - your attack is pointed solely at removing Men/Fathers from the lives of their children and that is as unhealthy and abusive to kids as it gets.
good grief,, look at the multitude of "sources" you offered for an example of this. the majority have the word father or some form of that term in the title.
Your words betray you. These are all or mostly government studies which support the positive impact on children of having fathers in their lives. How to explain this fact WITHOUT the word FATHER?
What you want is to REMOVE FATHER and FATHERS from the equation and anyone who reads this and allows themselves to belive otherwise is fooling themselves.
You are hostile and antagonistic towards men and the institution of fatherhood, and I can tell you CPS and the honorable judge presiding would not smile on that.
By the way, you are a mother with children of your own, right? This is what give you such knowledge aforethought at to what you are posting, right?
Do tell.
with all that, you seriously expect anyone to believe your main goal is the betterment of children? only an idiot would make that assumption. | |
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| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/17/2008 3:55:23 PM | ""You are hostile and antagonistic towards men and the institution of fatherhood, and I can tell you CPS and the honorable judge presiding would not smile on that."""
i am not hostile, nor antagonistic against men or fatherhood, just adult males like yourself playing at being fathers and men. oh please do call cps and report me. hell, ill give you the specifics of who i am do do that. but you will indeed find a glitch in your threat,, ALL MY KIDS ARE SUCCESSFUL ADULTS WHO WERE RAISED PRIMARILY BY ME. ALL WORK FULL TIME AND ARE WORKING TOWARD COLLEGE DEGREES IN CRIMINAL JUSTICE AND NURSING. | |
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| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/17/2008 4:05:25 PM | Too much of this thread has already been devoted to reasoning with an unreasonable person. I'm not sure anyone is listening to her, certainly it's been a while since anyone has posted in her support.
Time to move on. Her own words speak for themselves. What ever valid points she makes or beliefs she has are just drowned out by the raging insults anyway.
Oh, by the way Trish, the men you are insulting? Most are also working full time and have degrees or are working toward degrees. Is that the mark of a successful adult? Because your email to me suggested that I was "less than successful." | |
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| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/17/2008 4:24:35 PM | i would sign that patition in a heart beat ...
children do better with both parents ,,thats a fact ..
and they stay out of jail ,,thats another fact .
those two facts alone should be enough to force supreme court judges to give children back there fathers , they are needed .. | |
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| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/17/2008 4:34:14 PM | ""Her own words speak for themselves""
BOY OH BOY DO THEY EVER.
my words:
"ALL MY KIDS ARE SUCCESSFUL ADULTS WHO WERE RAISED PRIMARILY BY ME. ALL WORK FULL TIME AND ARE WORKING TOWARD COLLEGE DEGREES IN CRIMINAL JUSTICE AND NURSING."
what you read into that is more telling than what is actually there.
whom and what a parent puts in a childs life as examples is just as key as to who the child phsically lives with.
this thread made certain assertions that i and many others find ludicrous because they are broad stroked assertions giving no impact to the specific circumstances in every case. the general consensus of men who are divorced and are biological fathers, is that somehow the ex and the system has raped them of their "fatherhood" and driven a wedge between them and their children. the thread consensus of the men here has never had these same men taking any responsibility for their own dilemmas. this topic was about changing the present climate in family court, again making some fairly broad stroked assumptions that have yet to be proven. non custodial fathers want the pendulum in their favor, as if thats going to actually solve any of the fundamental ills within what we have all agreed is flawed. chaging the shift doenst fix the problems, it just changes them to the other side. i would be curious on only one point to know what the change would be in the number of women who wouldnt make child support payments as opposed to what we have now which is a significant percentage of men who dont make their payments on time or at all. yeah, that would be interesting. | |
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| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/17/2008 4:59:10 PM | p-trish
..the system is broken ..family courts are one sided ..children are in trouble all over this land..mothers refuse to allow equality in our family courts there for killing any advancement with the womens movement ..do not ask for equality in the work force if you cant allow equality and equal shared responsibility bringing up our children ..
its about time we stopped supporting unequal treatment to anyone in this land ..equality isnt that hard to understand is it p-trish | |
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| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/17/2008 5:08:21 PM | ptrish: "only one point to know what the change would be in the number of women who wouldnt make child support payments as opposed to what we have now which is a significant percentage of men who dont make their payments on time or at all. yeah, that would be interesting"
Then I would suggest you do some investigating. No sense in any man to post the statistics you'd be interested in, because you then wouldn't believe them. But to give you a heads up on what you'll find out....the number of noncustodial women not paying their support is on the RISE. Is hitting all time highs. Please be sure to report back and name your sources.
Thanks ptrish.
~ds~ | |
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| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/17/2008 10:04:18 PM | The undersigned recognize that absent issues of abuse, neglect or abandonment, social and government policy must be structured in such a way as to promote and maximize the opportunity of all parents to contribute to the social, emotional, intellectual, physical, moral and spiritual development of their children.
Absent issues of abuse, neglect or abandonment~~~~>Okay Trish, this means not pertaining to those people (MEN and WOMEN) who have been truely found to be harmful to their kids.
Social and government policy must be structured in such a way as to promote~~~~~>This means more or less to encourage, not to pass a law which shoves it down every parents throat.
and maximize the opportunity~~~~~>This means use to the fullest, all advantageous circumstances
of all parents~~~~~>this means MOMS and DADS with the exception (as stated above) in situations with true issues of abuse, neglect or abandonment
to contribute to the social, emotional, intellectual, physical, moral and spiritual development of their children.~~~~~~>this means to add to, not take over.
There is nothing (as you say over and over) broad stroked about what is being stated.
There has been a world of information, studies, etc, shared in this thread. There will be more to come. Your attempts of character assasination, belittlement, etc. are clear signs and tactics of an Alienating Parent and a "narcissist plus", who is attempting to harass and drive others away for your own self gain. I think the notion that you made poor choices of those who are your kids fathers is not correct. I belive by your demonstrations here that you are the one who caused the family to become broken and ten to one says dad, at least one of them, made a stand and remained in the kids lives and that is why they have fared so well. There is nothing constructive growing from the seeds of hate and vengence that you cast about.
You argue so hard against what this thread is about, yet you join in on other threads in which you support men and offer them such sources as A.D.A.M.
You have provided no verifiable information, sources, studies, etc. other than claiming this and that came from the Census Bureau. I have yet been able to find statistics there on how many fathers abandoned thier children or anything else supporting your claims of information contained there.
You say the following is life tv chicken soup. I say this is how I deal with some evil people. What size shoe do you where????????????
"I am abundantly thankful that I am not a narcissist, a psychopath, a sociopath or affected into actions beyond my control by their mental manipulation and mind control. I am equally thankful I have been granted the patience and ability to identify and get away from those so evil in a society which has so much tolerance for their destructive nature and behavior." | |
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| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/18/2008 12:03:19 AM | No sense in any man to post the statistics you'd be interested in, because you then wouldn't believe them.
the stats i said i would be interested in could not possibly be available now. no ammount of investigating would even bring me to them. specifically because they simply do not exist given the present climate of who gets custody in the courts today.
see, i never said the courts were fair, what i said was that swinging to the extreme in favor of fathers only changes the gender of the problems, not fix the issues.
note* when clipping from someones post to reference, attempt at least to identify the actual point of it before shredding it for your own purpose. | |
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| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/18/2008 6:15:50 AM | | The men on this thread all seem to have voiced their position and it appears to me to be a majority vote in favor of dreamboat333. | |
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| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/18/2008 6:24:05 AM | In a civilized society, where democracy is the rule, I think that would mean the person with the losing proposition would be stepping down as gracefully as possible so that the person witht the winning proposition and the supporters to back them could make some positive change.
If only we were living in a civilized society where democracy is the rule... oh wait, this is the USA, right?
The lady with all the anger issues and mean slurrs needs to check herself.
Dreamboat needs to stop arguing with the angry lady and start informing healthy minded dads about how they can stablize their time with their kids, because speaking as someone who came from a family where my dad was forced out of my life by the system, I can truthfully say that Dreamboat 333 has a good point and I wish the government had interfered less in my time with my dad.
To act like we don't see that there is an evil thing happening is worse than the evil thing that is happening because then we compromise our own humanity.
We all know kids need dads in their lives to be whole, healthy and complete. Anybody who needs stat reports or proof of that has problems.
The question now, is how to we correct the system and give dads the time that the kids obviously need with their dads, right? | |
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| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/18/2008 6:57:38 AM | p-trishTHEdish. I didn't think I had flamed on you and I really tried not to be rude, so if I have offended you, I am sorry.
p-trishTHEdish: I tried to email this apollogy to you directly, however the Plenty of Fish error message stated that p-trishTHEdish does not accept messages from the male gender...
...again, if any of my numerous postings of self-evident facts in support of children's rights to healthy, happy wholesome upbringing, the type with having a father actively involved in their life brings them - I am sorry. | |
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| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/18/2008 8:15:08 AM | The question now, is how to we correct the system and give dads the time that the kids obviously need with their dads, right?
I would say give men equality ..equual custody should be automatic after a brake up..and the courts or family services have no business getting involved unless there is a problem with a child being put in danger ..equal custody and equal responsibility ..I am Canadian ,many of you are American .. its no better up here but we all agree things must change ..this system has done a good job at destroying the family ..and its time this movement against fathers having equality we see supported by our supreme courts is changed..many women use free legal aid lawyers here to contest a good father who is only asking for equal custody.I have personally reported such a women who isn't putting her owned real estate on the line to fight back to stay in the children's lives,but they continue to support her legal expenses ..father's are forced to settle because of the never ending financial expenses that run him under .When Legal Aid tried to stop this or cut back ..the womens movement complained about cut backs by legal aid because without the free legal aid mothers were loosing custody(i learnt about this on google).many fathers were fighting back and free lawyers helped maintain the womens edge when a father contested her sole custody request .lets see equal custody..and stop supporting anything other ..the system is very one sided and should be exposed for what it is and scrapped.. | |
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| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/18/2008 8:38:11 AM | unfortunately, equality in raising a child requires a great deal of cooperation. This at a time (divorce) when cooperation will likely be at its low point. I fear that some sort of third party involvement will always be required to establish parameters for how obligations, both residential and financial, will be established.
My hope is that the third party involvement will continue to become less gender based and more objective. It's best for chidren that way. Along with that, my hope is that societies expectations will become less gender based. That's better for children and better for parents. | |
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| Shared Parenting Kids Need Both Parents
Posted: 4/18/2008 8:52:15 AM |
see, i never said the courts were fair, what i said was that swinging to the extreme in favor of fathers only changes the gender of the problems, not fix the issues.
I completely agree. I ASSUME those posting on here, do, as well. We want EQUALITY, not more power. And, quite honestly, I would speak out against a guy that wants more than equality, too. The pendulum is embedded on the mom's side right now. It needs to quit swinging, and just rest in the middle.
Fathers do not need more rights than mothers, they just need more rights than they have now, so they can be equal to mothers. I have read threads on here, where men have talked about how they are treated, that they are distrusted around their own kids, since "society" views fathers as unfit, in general. Others carry their divorce papers with them, to show that they are the custodial parent. Stuff like that. The system is broken, and most of us, just want equal rights. | |
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