| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/9/2008 9:25:52 PM |
I got tired of reading profiles and coming up with witty, funny and interesting messages, only to have them read and no replied to. Everyone keeps saying, well no one's obligated to reply. I guess no one should be obligated to write anything more that wanna chat too.
This works on both ends, females read/delete, males read/delete with our replying. Seems as though those people think they're better than the one's who sent the message, and don't want to spend the five seconds of their precious time to respond saying they weren't interested. Probably the same people that send a message to someone they were interested in, only to have it read/delete and now they're all bitter.
Too many lame excuses of, well I get too many messages per day to respond. Well aren't you something special, did you want me to feed you grapes too?
Quoted for truth. | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/9/2008 9:57:06 PM | I revise my profile as best I can, every once and a while. Not in a way where you see everything I don't want and am silent on everything I do. Reason being, is because....
I take the time. My head-line is usually a position I stand on (current head-line.... perfect example), a lyric from a song (.......and no, not something dumb like "Oh, I makes it rain !!!!!!!!!!!!!  ), a thought I came across recently, or a nugget of muse I possess.
It either flies over peoples' heads, or they write me, asking me why I try so hard
( ^^^  I never try to be, what I already am)
I then talk about what things make me happy, what things I have the talent for, and I do it in a congenial yet humorous manner, where you think. I don't want you to use your body/hate/past/rage for all species-with-penis to approach me. Use your brain. That's why it's the biggest thing given to you. For some, idiocy, is their bestowed gift (<<<< see ? lol)
Point being, I take the time, and it sucks to have it ignored (my current favorite message: "Why do you write so much ? ladies want to know about you, not all that writing. You try way too hard"....... and she was almost 10 years older than me  )
What I do with my profile, is a reflection of me. It's supposed to (operative word supposed ) be that way. Yes, I talk the way I write. Yes, I think the way I write. Yes, I take pride in the way I present myself. Not because it'll get me girls/a girls' attention. That's just who I am.
Yeah, why bother, has been a recent pontification of mine .......
But alas, What do I know ?
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/10/2008 4:06:08 AM |
I got tired of reading profiles and coming up with witty, funny and interesting messages, only to have them read and no replied to. Everyone keeps saying, well no one's obligated to reply. I guess no one should be obligated to write anything more that wanna chat too.
This works on both ends, females read/delete, males read/delete with our replying. Seems as though those people think they're better than the one's who sent the message, and don't want to spend the five seconds of their precious time to respond saying they weren't interested. Probably the same people that send a message to someone they were interested in, only to have it read/delete and now they're all bitter.
Too many lame excuses of, well I get too many messages per day to respond. Well aren't you something special, did you want me to feed you grapes too?
Amen.
Too often have I heard that as well. | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/10/2008 4:29:15 AM | burnleybabe.
Sorry' But this is BULLSHYT. "ALL" of the women i contact i read there whole profile from start to finish. If i think i might have something in common to start with i will message her and i will elaborate on the things i read. I will say at least 5 whole sentences pertaining to her profile and then ask what her name is and if she would like to talk and get to know each other a little bit. You know what i get? ZERO! Ignored. So showing interest doesn't work either. They either want to talk or they don't. So for me i have gotten to where i let them come to me. I let my profile speak for me. If i think there interesting enough i talk to them. Works for me. And at least if i don't want to "chat" i do at least return there message with a thanks but no thanks and say a few nice words to them. At least that way i don't get ignored.  | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/10/2008 4:47:09 AM | Cotter: "introducing yourself to a lady and telling her a little about yourself in an email"
Lady?? You're old fashioned for a women with THAT pic! Nice angle! LOL
Ah well, whatever ... | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/10/2008 10:53:47 AM | I know I'm not perfect. I try to respond to emails that have questions. Some guys don't answer questions and today I feel like I got stabbed in the heart. I saw an email to someone I know (he has my phone number, I have gone out with him, etc.) read and deleted without a reply...ouch... | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/10/2008 10:55:24 AM | | Many men just look at your picture, they don't really read what you say in your profile. If you're pretty, they want to chat with you. It's pretty simple really. | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/10/2008 11:17:03 AM | It's not the "wanna chat?" that gets me, it's that when I say - "ok I can see you do, so go for it", they have no topic. I have no problem with chatting - but I can't chat with someone who has nothing to say. And sorry, if you start the convo, then I expect you to bring the topic to chat about...duh.
A close second is the guy that wants to know "more" about you (which insinuates he knows something in the first place) and then proceeds to ask you basic profile stat questions that you've already posted. Spare me. | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/10/2008 11:18:48 AM | If an interesting mail comes in ... yep, I do go and start reading profile; if a post on forums is outstanding, whether :thumb up: or :thumb down: ... yes, again I do click on profile ... just to get a better picture of who is talking here. Well, for most of posts/mails and profiles I have read there are parallels to be found.
As for the pictures - if there are any  - they too give a visual flavour of
P.S.
As for chatting ... well we would have to know each other for some time to find the time for this little extra although the best chat is face to face. | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/10/2008 11:23:15 AM | Wow! I'd take a "wanna chat?" over the "wanna $@!#$%?!!!" I get alot of the times any day! At least "wanna chat" wouldn't make me spew my drink all over my computer in shock!..lol  | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/10/2008 11:32:43 AM | | Consider yourself lucky. I'm lucky if I get one reply a month. And then it is usually from a senior citizen who has kids and grandkids. | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/10/2008 11:40:56 AM | This is an interesting thread... encompassing a few topics that seem to merge regarding profiles and responding to emails.
I try to respond to every email now, even if just to say, thanks I'm flattered but not what you're looking for. In the beginning I was certainly guilty of deleting more emails than I read...but to the men who sent them... pls remember the phrase "FRESH MEAT" !!!!
Because that's exactly how it felt getting 10 emails/day in my first couple of weeks. (Down to 1 every other week or so now that I've been here a while) Many of these emails came from guys with limits in their profiles that stated they didn't want somebody like me anyways.. ie: separated, occasional smoker, want just friendship, didn't live within 50 miles... etc!.. I always wonder why bother even contacting me then?
As far as chatting or emailing goes... it IS frustrating to have somebody ask you "what you like to do for fun" as an opener... it leaves me thinking my profile hasn't been read... cuz I sure list a lot of things that I like to do! I would prefer if an activity were singled out and a question revolved around that as an ice-breaker... ie: "I see you like to camp, where are some favorate places for you?"... or "you like live music... who have you seen in concert?".... anything but the usual openers that lack personality. | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/10/2008 11:48:21 AM |
Many men just look at your picture, they don't really read what you say in your profile. If you're pretty, they want to chat with you. It's pretty simple really.
And the same goes for women too, they look at your picture and most times no matter how eloquent you may be or witty, you'll more than likely get overlooked around these parts because you may not look like a model. | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/10/2008 12:43:02 PM | | Quite simply, I'm not going to invest 200 or even 300 words on someone when I have no idea their level of interest in me. Fact of the matter is, after writing a diatribe the lady is just going to scan your pics anyway. If she feels a bit of chemistry only then will she resond. That's just the way it is, so why invest the time and energy when it simply doesn't matter? | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/10/2008 1:19:20 PM |
Quite simply, I'm not going to invest 200 or even 300 words on someone when I have no idea their level of interest in me. Fact of the matter is, after writing a diatribe the lady is just going to scan your pics anyway. If she feels a bit of chemistry only then will she resond. That's just the way it is, so why invest the time and energy when it simply doesn't matter?
Because for most women to be interested, there has to be more for us than just a pretty picture, even tho that's something that we also respond to. If you don't say something (it doesn't have to be 2-300 words, but a small paragraph would be nice) that's got some substance to it to a woman who IS attracted to you, you'll STILL miss out. It's the combination of the two that does it. Let's review:
Cute guy + no content = not interested.
Uncute guy + content = not interested.
It's both or nothing for most of us.
I've seen threads from men who expect some sort of decent initial e-mail as well in order to continue conversation, so I'd say both genders appreciate this.
If you don't feel it's worth it to make an effort, then don't bother sending anything. | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/10/2008 1:22:48 PM | | Some times i wonder if some of these women will ever catch on. Men respond directly by how they are being responded to. Most men will not sit and write this big long message about how he enjoys the same things the woman in question enjoys just to go back and see either deleted or unread deleted. When men see this same thing over and over again there not going to invest a lot of time on words. There going to ask if you would like to chat. If they see deleted or unread deleted then they haven't waisted there time pouring out there heart only to be ignored. I have lived 46 years and i still wonder sometimes will women in general keep screwing themselves? That's exactly what a lot of them are doing on this site. You may start out getting 10,20,30, 50 or a 100 e-mails a day. But the more you ignore and just delete without a word the messages get less and less until you are left wondering where are all the men. All the men have gone to the women that will message them back or will at least talk to them. Wake up ladies! You being to picky and relying to much on first site chemistry is causing you to be left behind. And one more thing , PLEASE Don't insult us with your "They don't read,They only look at the pretty pictures" And write to us. BULLSHYT! That is just another excuse that women make to try to justify there rude actions. I know that there are stupid guys on here that don't know what the word NO means. I get it, I understand that. But when you get right down to it all you have to do is BLOCK them. Worry over. All these other things are just excuses for bad behavior. We are on a dating site. Dating sites are meant for people to interact with other people. If your not going to interact why be here? If your only here for the forums why have a full profile? Why not hide your profile? That helps if you don't want to be contacted. I see women on here with full profiles saying they are looking for a man but when a man contacts them they get mad because there only here for the forums!! Geeze? | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/10/2008 1:38:15 PM | You fellas just are not getting it. I usually have my profile hidden. For the last 4 days it has been available and these are the types of emails I get. Now what am I supposed to say back?? Thanks or READ/DELETE or you are a jack azz who did not read my profile! BLOCK or sorry we are not a match 20 times a day?
"If you ever want to hookup for some fun let me know, your HOT!!"
"LOVE YOUR PROFILE! YOUR FUNNY AS ####!"
"hi i love your profile!!! and you are gorgous!!!!"
"like to see if you like to talk"
"What's up with you?"
"Don't make me jump through this computer screen and get ya,lol "
"you just live on child support as your only source of income ?"
"How have you been?"
"your welcome sweety. would you like to chat sometime?"
"whats up tonight."
":)"
"My girlfriend and i are seeking a beautiful fun clean sexual woman to go out with and have some fun one night and see how things go, I was checking out your profile and wondering if you would be interested?"
"Wanna chat?"
"HOW ARE YOU I,M XXXX HEY YOU ARE SO HOT AND PRETTY"
"HI,HOW ARE YOU.XXXXXX FROM CHICAGO"
"hi there ,,would u like to chat with me"
"hey,hows it going."
"Cute pic. XXXX"
"u would like to no more about you my name is XXXX" | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/10/2008 1:52:18 PM | not-for-you
LOL We are not talking about ladies like you. LOL Seems you are getting a lot of morons. What we are talking about is us guys that really try to be nice and strike up a conversation the right way only to be ignored. I am sorry that guys send you messages like that. Block them. And what is wrong with ,Hi would you like to chat with me? That is just being picky if you don't answer. Sometimes a guy will not say a lot without knowing if the person wants to talk. What's wrong with saying, "Yes, I would like to chat with you and see where it goes? If talking to the guy is like pulling teeth then move on. Some men are men of few words. But just a little attention and they will start talking. You don't know if you don't try. And one other thing, Your Name, not-for-you screams untouchable, leave me alone. And your profile is like, Don't take me serious. It is just the way it reads to me. | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/10/2008 1:53:04 PM | Well not-for-you....not sure what to tell ya. Your profile is laden with sarcasm, it's pretty difficult to get a sense of who you are, what you like & your interests. I think you were trying to be funny with it, but....therefore, anyone responding to you (IMO), is responding to your pic (and possibly your sense of humor). The messages you've received bare this out....comments referencing your pic. But since you are only looking for friends, what does it matter? You can't respond to or be friends with someone who thinks and tells you they think you're cute? Then change YOUR profile to draw different types....it's obviously not working for you.
~ds~ | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/10/2008 1:59:14 PM | Thats funny do you guys think thats my first profile and I am the only chick who gets those emails....MEMBER SINCE 05! (names have been changed to protect the innocent)
Read this thread | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/10/2008 2:04:39 PM |
Some times i wonder if some of these women will ever catch on.
Someone should, women keep explaining this to the men and they don't seem to be.
If they see deleted or unread deleted then they haven't waisted there time pouring out there heart only to be ignored.
Sometimes you get read/deleted BECAUSE you didn't send anything to respond to. Hello?
And what is wrong with ,Hi would you like to chat with me? That is just being picky if you don't answer. Sometimes a guy will not say a lot without knowing if the person wants to talk.
Because 9 out of 10 times, people who say that have nothing to chat about. In my case, that's true anyway. I end up trying to keep a conversation going with someone who messaged me first. WTF? You can't start a conversation with no conversation. | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/10/2008 2:16:00 PM | I have to say that it is amusing to read all the different thoughts about dating on line ... I have to agree that when a guy sends a email that says " Im horny " or Wanna chat " or do you have a pic ?" when I put a url to a pic of me in my profile and it shows they dont read about you or they just wanna #### cause they wanna see what you look like ... Then there are the ones who take interest into you until you tell them a url to your pic is in your profile again and the subject changes to " What are you doing tonight ?" or Your pretty , wanna meet some where ? ... I know that realy does it for me , O' BABY O' ... NOT ... lmao ... I spend alot of time thinking that these sights should not be called dating services but should be called " Do you wanna #### sights ... LOL ... I hope that there are guys who realy wanna date on here ... I just havent seen any yet and I have been these sights for about a month now ... this one is the newest to me and I LUV that you can see if they read or deleated your emails ... You can tell whats up then ... Its not like the guy is going to tell you ... LOL  | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/10/2008 2:26:32 PM |
A close second is the guy that wants to know "more" about you (which insinuates he knows something in the first place) and then proceeds to ask you basic profile stat questions that you've already posted. Spare me.
Ugly Betty: I dont think saying you want to get to know MORE about someone is at all insinuating that they know nothing?! In fact I think it is the opposite. They probly DO want to know MORE then what they already know, cause they probably have an interest in you. You cant assume that every male who just wants to know "More" that they dont know anything at all??!
But I do have to admit that you are right about the people that ask about the basic stuff thats already stated in your profile that is kinda lame. I mean duhhhhhhh! hehe... BUT if a person lists they like "MUSIC" and you ask what kinda of music? That's just wanting to learn more . Or saying they like Sci-Fi movies and you ask them "What your Sci Fi favourite movie?". I see that is taking what they read on your profile and using that as a conversation starter to sorta "break the ice".
Granted it is not alot.. but it is something.. and more then just "WANNA CHAT ?" But reading a profile of someone that doesnt seem to have much of anything describing themselfs sure doesnt leave someone else alot to go with? so how can you even base an INTEREST in that someone? And whats funny is that ALOF of them type profiles show that they are on like 100s favourites lists. hehethe only thing fgoign tfor those type profiles is thier pictures they use in them (whether or not they are real photos of them) ! Which brings it all back to it is all in the looks!!
Oh well | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/10/2008 2:28:52 PM | Many never take the time to read the whole profile, and this goes for both men and women......
I still get many that will email but have no pictures on their profile, or not sending one with the email, even though I specifically state not to email me unless showing or sharing a picture......
Those that think because they are emailing you, and that should be enough, have not read the profile to know what really is desired and expected when contacted. Even with this though, I reply to each email the first time and thank them for their interest, interested or not.
After that, I just let it go if I get rude responses, or some comment about what they think about me, or what they want, hoping that I am so called typical male, and will run for the chance to know them because they are female and willing......
Just my opinion.......   | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/10/2008 2:32:27 PM | Re. msg #95: Well I can say you got one thing right.....your screen name.
~ds~ | |
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