| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/10/2008 2:42:22 PM | uglybetty
All i can say is it just sounds like a excuse. There has been plenty said about this subject in other post. I will go so far as to say i know there are some stupid men out there. But when i read all the post concerning this subject it's hard for me to believe that is all you get. If i contact a woman i want to talk to her. I have read her profile and like what i have read and i want to know more. And from what i have read i am not the only serious minded man here. I am not here to waste my time with bullshyt. When i message i want to talk. I am interested. For a woman to think that a man isn't interested just because all he said was "want to chat" That is a unfounded assumption. A man who does that has prob, been ignored over and over to the point to where he doesn't care anymore. That's why i let them come to me. That way when they ask me the same thing that they would turn me down for asking, "Wanna chat" I can go look at there profile and decide from there. At least i will answer.  | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/10/2008 2:53:45 PM |
Cute guy + no content = not interested.
Uncute guy + content = not interested.
It's both or nothing for most of us.
Then that speaks to how shallow most people's attitudes seem to be . 
Can you not see the hypocritical thinking in that kind of practice?
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/10/2008 3:19:54 PM | | Unless someone is getting anoying cause they can only talk about one thing ... I answer all my emails and I am nice to everyone ... I think there is just a huge lack of understanding the other sex alot ... Has far as the pics go , I will ask them if they dont have one , but I still will talk to them ... I think both sexes are too interested in looks ... I have been seeing a guy lately that some would say is not atractive at all , but I realy like him slot ... Some ppl just judge others too quickly on one or two emails and drop the convo ... I try not to be that way ... | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/10/2008 4:27:37 PM | Wow! I have really opened a barrel of monkeys, haven't I?
@not-for-you - yep, seen those types of emails before. I honestly feel like replying to these guys and giving them a link to a professional escort service...for they are certainly not looking for a real date, they are looking for an easy f***.
This is the point: Guys, for those of you that are on here and SINCERELY are looking for the right woman, make the effort to show your interested. I just sent an email today to a guy on this site. I checked over his profile and read what he had to say. I felt that we had some things in common and that I might be the kinda girl he should get to know. I wrote a few sentences saying so, commented on a few things in his profile and asked him to take a look at my profile, and if he agrees with us being a possible match, to get back to me. There. Wasn't so hard was it? Do I know that he will respond? No, he may not. But I feel that I have shown my interest and that was my goal.
@Eddie - you are a very bitter man that needs pictures where people can actually see what you look like (they are a little blurry and taken from a slight distance). This may be part of the reason that your responses have been lack-luster (if I can't see a guy clearly...that worries me). But just because your interested in someone does not mean that they have to be interested in you. People don't reply for different reasons. Relax. Not the end of the world. Move on.
Boy, this is fun....never thought of myself as such a sh*t disturber... | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/10/2008 4:54:30 PM | | They DIDN'T read your profile. They emailed you for ONE reason: YOU'RE PRETTY | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/10/2008 4:58:49 PM |
Ugly Betty: I dont think saying you want to get to know MORE about someone is at all insinuating that they know nothing?! In fact I think it is the opposite. They probly DO want to know MORE then what they already know, cause they probably have an interest in you. You cant assume that every male who just wants to know "More" that they dont know anything at all??!
It's not a bash on intelligence. When a guy says they want to know "more" about me, I assume it means more than what they've already read. What else would they mean by that?
But I do have to admit that you are right about the people that ask about the basic stuff thats already stated in your profile that is kinda lame. I mean duhhhhhhh! hehe... BUT if a person lists they like "MUSIC" and you ask what kinda of music? That's just wanting to learn more . Or saying they like Sci-Fi movies and you ask them "What your Sci Fi favourite movie?". I see that is taking what they read on your profile and using that as a conversation starter to sorta "break the ice".
Exactly.
uglybetty
All i can say is it just sounds like a excuse.
Can't say I am shocked. I am sure you mean what you say, so I'll assume when you say you want to chat, you follow that up with interesting, intriguing conversation. Unfortunately, in my case, most that start an e-mail or IM have nothing to tell me once they get past "what's up?"...you got my attention; now dazzle me. What, you want me to accept a chat AND run it too? I can do that by myself.
Then that speaks to how shallow most people's attitudes seem to be .
Can you not see the hypocritical thinking in that kind of practice?
Oh ok, let me put it in different terms for the easily offended:
-Attraction with a lousy opener and no content in profile = not interested (unless we're looking for someone we can sleep with who promises not to talk).
-No attraction with a fabulous opener and an informative profile = not interested (unless you count platonic friendship)
Is that better? | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/10/2008 5:01:11 PM | burnleybabe.
Another assumption. Apparently you didn't read my profile very close. It states that i know my pics are not very clear but i do have a web cam. I have also stated that my face is all they will see. I think for some it makes them curious just to see if i am telling the truth. When they see that i am honest in what i say it makes them want to talk more. Maybe that is why i have had better luck than some guys. I got a lot responses before i hid my profile. Apparently i must be doing something right. My blurry pictures haven't stopped women from contacting me. Could it be they like what i say in my profile? Could it be how i talk to them once they start talking to me? Could it be i don't run after them, I let them come to me? I don't know. All i know is it has worked for me. All i have stated here is what i have seen by reading the forums. I am not bitter at all. Theres not 1 bitter bone in me. I read what other guys post about this subject and i have tried to help some. Some seem to think that posting about 3 sentences in there profile that is enough to give a woman a idea of who he is. No that doesn't work. My profile lets women into the heart of Eddie just a little bit. Just enough to make them want to know more. Works for me. So far all i have done is stated the truth as i read it. There are some of us guys that are smart enough to learn that if one thing doesn't work try something else. Which is all i have done. I let my profile do the talking. If this relationship doesn't work out i will open my profile again and maybe add better pictures but for the most part my profile does the talking and that is the way that works for me. | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/10/2008 5:05:37 PM | right right
what do you think of (a)(a) + (b)(b) = (c)(c) ????
lol
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/10/2008 5:14:23 PM | Can't say I am shocked. I am sure you mean what you say, so I'll assume when you say you want to chat, you follow that up with interesting, intriguing conversation. Unfortunately, in my case, most that start an e-mail or IM have nothing to tell me once they get past "what's up?"...you got my attention; now dazzle me. What, you want me to accept a chat AND run it too? I can do that by myself.
uglybetty.
I am not sure what kind of guys your use to talking to. I have to admit it sounds like you are attracting morons.I assure you one thing. I am truthful in what i say. Right now i have started a relationship with a woman i met on POF. When i contact a woman i contact her with the intent of talking to her. It may be 5min, 10, 15 or a hour. It depends on how the conversation flows. Believe me before i hid my profile i had plenty of women wanting to talk and i always answered. I have had more than a few that were like pulling teeth trying to get information out of. So i know what you mean. But i give them a chance. Some people just don't warm up as fast as others. So don't look to be dazzled. Maybe you should lighten up a little on your self and the guys you talk to and just let it flow and enjoy the conversation. Did you know that maybe the guy your talking to feels the same about you? Maybe he is thinking the same thing about you? Your hard to get info out of? I don't know. Just a thought............... | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/10/2008 5:44:29 PM | I feel your frustration!!! I'm often getting IM's about everything I said not to ask me about.
So I turned off the IM feature. Now I get mailed everything I asked them not to ask.
I have to clarify, not ALL of my experiences on this site are like that.
I think though, this is how we weed out the ones who are worth our time!!
Seriously, if they take the time to read your profile, no matter how long or short it is, that says something right off the bat. Unless of course, they were bored? Then, well at least they're educated a little, and likely have the tools and information about you to carry on a conversation longer than 2 words, like "msn now?" LMAO ;)
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/10/2008 5:53:15 PM | Maybe ebcuase you ar a candian and Bi-polar that is kind of a turn off people who are emotionally unstable. Soemtimes Iw onder if anyone reads my profile. I ahve made some people laugh and that's always a good start. I have had women who are interested then actually go back and read my profile and tlel me they did not realize I was short. Ok you are attracted to me what else do you want? Not everyone is a string bean! I'm jsut a good looking guy with brains and an attitude! | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/10/2008 6:07:10 PM | | ... Why dont we all admit that both men and women judge ppl by their looks plus men and women relate to others differently ... and thats why true lasting love isnt found anymore ? ... I see both sides on this ... I realy do ... Even tho I understand men a little , Im still a woman and I still cant believe that they say things like "Im horny" in the first few emails ... the word horny sounds so grose ... lol ... If I was in the mood , Im not anymore ... I wish I was onry/mean enough to say things like .. Loosin up your wrist hun , its going to be a long night ALONE ... lol ... This is so interesting ... You all have me coming back to read more and more ... | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/10/2008 8:07:11 PM | Well I came to POF to meet new people but the experience has been horrible...I mean you say hi to someone or send them a message and there sis no response at all...if this is the new way of meeting people then the curteous thing to do is to say hi...at least give the person a chance...
Honestly it doesn't matter what you put in your profile. sorry ladies you know you dont give a damn about the guys profile you are only looking at the pic and guys I know alot of you look at the pic befor eyou read the profile...thats just the way we are.
The way I see it...If people were getting exactly what they wanted out of the way they normally met people then they wouldn't be here...so why wont they open their eyes and actually havea real conversation where not everythign is judged on looks but on intelligence and genuine personalities
just my 2 cents...
I guess I just needed to vent about the a lot of people who come to this site I guess it is not what I expected.
anywho have a good one | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/10/2008 8:20:26 PM |
Profiles are there to humilate men. You just havent created yours right. Go fix it!
Somebody hasn't had enough penis in her diet lately, man hater.
And the only reason I don't put much effort into first emails is because they rarely get responded to, I have better things to do than to stroke you egos | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/10/2008 10:43:25 PM | I don't see what the big deal is. What could they write? " I read your profile and found you very interesting. Please check my profile and see if you think we might hit it off. maybe we could chat sometime?"
Let's break it down now:
"I read your profile and found you very ineresting." - This is obvious and can go without saying.
"Please check my profile and see if you think we might hit it off." - Again , this is an obvious next step and doesn't need pointing out.
"Maybe we could chat some time?"- This is the real question so why not just get to it?
BTW- I did read your profile and thought it was pretty cool, Check mine out and maybe we could chat sometime! | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/11/2008 1:33:17 AM | Autumn Marie.
I am not trying to take up for anybody but i know 21 men on this site. For the most part they seem to be pretty good guys. But at the same time when a guy sits down and reads a profile and sees this big list of do and don't the first thing they think is this is another picky woman looking for her perfect prince on a white horse. So' I am not justifying there actions, The first thing they do is see if they can aggravate and agitate. When they see a list like that they don't take the woman serious. Sorry, Just the truth.
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/11/2008 4:41:32 AM | Here's a simple solution:
All the men who feel that a simple "wanna chat" as opposed to ONE question like "what kind of music do you like" can contact the women who want to be the ones to put forth the effort.
From reading the posts, I know that there are the "wanna chat" people and there are the people like me who want at least one bloody question (AGAIN one question is NOT an effort and if you think it is, you should get the hell away from online dating). Learn how to use the medium.
Me, I'll wait for the man who puts an equal effort in. I've contacted enough men on here where I'm always holding up the conversation. I DESERVE more.
I feel for the men who do put in an effort and get no reply as it has happened to me. And not just once either. You guys deserve more too.
Plus, here's a simple fact: if someone is interested in you, they put in an effort. It's fairly easy and quick to judge whether someone is truly interested in you. | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/11/2008 4:50:46 AM | I don't spend much time emailing, chatting, or telephone conversations. I like the meet and greets right away. Here is what I've found; the real person is rarely anything like the person depicted in their profile. This has been the case with both men and women I've met from the internet.
I will skim over the profile, but my main interest is location, marital status, age, and initial reason for meeting.
It doesn't matter if you are a good match on the profiles, it only matters if you are a good match in real life. | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/11/2008 4:56:38 AM | Geee, what am I doing wrong then? I've only had one 'wanna chat' contact. All the others (and there have been several) have been quite serious and showed that they had really read my profile. One even wrote to say 'no thanks' right from the start!
G | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/11/2008 5:08:15 AM | | So often it seems people are seeking to prolong the agony -- if something has no real future -- why give it room to grow...? The downside to the expansive opening sonnets and the my life to date overview is that when it's subsequently deleted unread by the recipient -- which it will be at least 9 times out of 10 -- that's going to hurt. | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/11/2008 6:04:55 AM | Not-for-you
I have to respectfully disagree with the men that say your profile says nothing about you. I think your profile says volumes about you. You clearly articulate sarcasm and a general bad attitude toward men. I'm more curious as to why anyone would desire to chat with you, undoubtedly a gentleman with a sadomasochistic fetish. | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/11/2008 6:36:10 AM |
Well I came to POF to meet new people but the experience has been horrible...I mean you say hi to someone or send them a message and there sis no response at all...if this is the new way of meeting people then the curteous thing to do is to say hi...at least give the person a chance...
Define "chance". It's not a bad place to be if you don't take it personally, and let's be honest, these are total strangers we're talking about. How hurtful can they truly be? Lack of interest is the reason for non-responses. That's the norm here. Once you know that, it's not so bad. Hey I don't get responses either from some I e-mail. Not once did I notice, or worry about someone NOT in my inbox. The message is pretty clear. I mean they can chat with you and keep in touch, but would you take that as interest?
People who don't respond do so because they tried to respond politely to people in the beginning and just ended up in a useless debate with them about their lack of interest. Based on experience, the non response is just easier.
Honestly it doesn't matter what you put in your profile. sorry ladies you know you dont give a damn about the guys profile you are only looking at the pic and guys I know alot of you look at the pic befor eyou read the profile...thats just the way we are.
It DOES matter what's in the profile for a lot of us, because YES we go by the pics first, but then there has to be something to go with the pics. AGAIN, it takes BOTH to be interested for most people.
The way I see it...If people were getting exactly what they wanted out of the way they normally met people then they wouldn't be here...so why wont they open their eyes and actually havea real conversation where not everythign is judged on looks but on intelligence and genuine personalities
If people here have any common sense, they are looking everywhere else in addition to the internet. People using the internet only are gonna be frustrated, because it's only like 1/10 of the singles scene.
And the only reason I don't put much effort into first emails is because they rarely get responded to, I have better things to do than to stroke you egos
I see you've given up dating then, because that's the formula that guarantees you won't get responses.
The first thing they do is see if they can aggravate and agitate. When they see a list like that they don't take the woman serious.
For those with lists a mile long, I understand that. But generally, not taking a woman seriously who's just narrowning down those she's not going to want to date anyway is actually better than someone who states they don't know what they want at all.
It doesn't matter if you are a good match on the profiles, it only matters if you are a good match in real life.
That's true, the overall personality and attraction cannot be determined online - but there are parts of a woman's profile that will tell you if you're wasting your time or not upfront. As long as you're reading that part and utilizing the information, it's cool. Reading a clear dealbreaker and messaging anyway because you don't believe that YOU could be included in that dealbreaker is just idiotic: For example, you smoke. I don't want to meet smokers. You message anyway because you've been thinking of quitting, or you only smoke one a day, or you need to quit but need motivation, or you only smoke when you drink...you're still a smoker and that would be wasting your time (and mine). | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/11/2008 6:39:14 AM | Gosh so many of you fellas are interested in me
I might have to reopen my dungeon and breakout my strap-on. If you boys are very good slaves I will let you call me Mistress and touch yourselves. Now...I wanna chat | |
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