| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/11/2008 1:17:44 PM | This has already gone to 152 messages as of right now. Geeze, The more i sit here and read the more i know that there are at least 3 women posting to this thread with some serious dating problems. I can tell your very bitter. You have been here since 2005 and haven't found a man yet. Not saying you haven't found a date. I am sure you have at some point. But now i wonder if you have problems keeping men. For a woman that has been here for almost 3 years and hasn't found a lasting relationship with all the millions of men on this site that sends up a red flag in itself. Here you are nitpicking about how a man approaches you here. Another red flag. When i read your post i can hear the bitterness in your words. The way you post here i think is one reason you have been here so long and and haven't found what you want. As long as you and women like you nitpick and scrutinize everything a man says to you, Or come off like you think a man is going to jump through hoops for you trying to get your attention you and women like you will grow old and more and more bitter alone. | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/11/2008 1:19:43 PM | Finlander-you really shouldnt be so angry. If my profile upsets you so much just dont click on it. Stress will just hurt you.
Now in this thread I have posted several examples of what some women are complaining about (see my previous post) and a more genuine first contact email. This thread is not to bash my profile. You can contact me privately to do so. I dont have ANY email restrictions and that way this thread will stay ON TOPIC! | |
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mxk883
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Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 153 | |
| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/11/2008 1:22:29 PM | from msg 151
..I can tell your very bitter...
Pot, meet kettle! 
I think "not-for-you" should give "eddie2704" a treatment with the strap on...might cheer both of them up!!  | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/11/2008 1:31:19 PM | No worries, I'm of the same mind. I think there are just so many more guys on the internet dating scene that they treat it like spam - send out as many messages as possible in the hopes that a few will respond. Most also don't put effort into their profiles, I've noticed, assuming that you'll want to "just message to find out more"....despite the fact that you have no reason to.
Because of this ratio, girls online can afford to be picky - they'll wait for a person/profile to impress them before pursuing/responding. I usually don't bother replying to messages like the ones you mention, just keep ignoring them and wait for someone to show genuine interest or effort.
Best of luck. | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/11/2008 1:36:09 PM | @Fin - I definitely "are serious"!...c'mon laugh...
What was I supposed to ask him to do.....be a cabbage?
@not-for-you - ain't it grand when a guy takes more than 10 seconds to write an email? Hope things go well. | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/11/2008 1:38:20 PM | mxk 883
What? I keep saying there is not 1 bitter bone in me. I have had very good luck here. Thats the point i am trying to get across to these women. I have been here 6 months and have met and had more dates than i can count. The main reason for it is because i am not picky and try to make a woman jump through hoops for me. I don't care if she has a picture posted or not. I don't care how they message me. If they say "wanna chat" I answer. When they message i talk to them. I am not pushy with a bunch of demands for them to meet before i will even acknowledge there presence. Which is what's wrong with most of the women on this site. If a guy doesn't meet there standard of what they think he should say on a opening message then they ignore him. I don't ignore anybody. I treat people as i want to be treated whether it is here or in person. That's why i get dates from this site. I don't make it hard' I make it easy. And as far as strap ons go. I don't do that on the first date. | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/11/2008 1:44:25 PM | @Eddie - Bitter? I thought the point of a rant was to disolve bitterness...I have done that. Can you say the same?
Yes, I certainly have been here 3 years...but you make it sound like I should be scrounging around for the bottom feeders. Like, oh how dare I be a woman of 35 and be on my own?! What will I do?! Wah. Wah. Wah.
Whatever.
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/11/2008 1:49:31 PM |
Perhaps it was, however to others that it may not be quite so charming and emails such as this more often than not get ignored.
I need even less than the guy that contacted notforyou. All I need is ONE question.
KISS. | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/11/2008 1:52:09 PM | | burnlybabe........Now there you go, Showing more of that bitterness. Is that the best you can do? Calling the poor saps bottom feeders? Geeze woman how long has it been since you been laid? You been here for 3 years and passing by no telling how many good men just because they didn't jump through a hoop for you. What else do you expect to find but bottom feeders. | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/11/2008 1:58:17 PM | Eddie Eddie Eddie that was cute but you dont get it. You have to pay and pay alot for the pleasure of the strap-on and that is if you are a very good slave. As you said, you have only been here 6 months.
Fvcking Virgins! | |
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mxk883
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Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 161 | |
| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/11/2008 2:02:25 PM |
Geeze woman how long has it been since you been laid...
Very mature...you're how old? 
Now I really think you need the strap-on. Hey "not-for-you"...don't forget to bring your gag-ball too!  | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/11/2008 2:56:28 PM | Why, why, why do I bother putting anything in my profile? Guys don't read it! It clearly says not to email me saying "wanna chat?" or other mindless natter like that because I won't respond.
After taking down all the information on my profile I must say the number of replies have stayed right about the same. Few and far between. When I reply to people I seem to get more replies of "Why don't you have any information about yourself?" Before that I would almost never get replies AT ALL to messages that I sent. Women just delete or ignore them.
I thought I was average looking, but apparently I am one ugly mother%$^&*#$! | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/11/2008 3:26:11 PM | UglyBetty and the rest of the women here:
When I send an email, I've read her profile. I don't smoke, so I don't contact smokers. I'm not interested in LD encounters, so they live within a reasonable distance ( less than 25 miles). In short, I don't aimlessly send emails to women who don't meet my criteria.
Now I know that there are men who don't want to meet anyone for whatever reason, and I know a couple. But believe me you aren't going to know this until you spend (waste) some time with them.
When I say, "Would you like to chat?" that means no more than would you like to talk or communicate. Communication could be by email, phone, IM, or carrier pigeon. In any case, you've got a mouth - say how! And do I really have to tell you to read my profile?
I stand by my statement that I find the attitude of many women on this site very controlling and now I'll add inflexible. I don't feel I should have to spell out every little detail to a woman who has some intelligence. I have run into too many people in my life both men and women who are into control to the point that people have to approach them in just the "right" way or they are ready to fight.
I remember talking to one woman on the phone one nite and the conversation wandered over a variety of topics. This is nothing to get upset about, since I'm trying to find some common ground plus understand her attitude about things. She got upset because she felt the subject wasn't positive enough for her (prices of things at Amazon). I can just imagine what it would be like living with a woman like this - a prissy irritating fussbudget!
And finally, when someone sends you an email, you don't know anything about this person. You don't know if they've read your profile or not. About all you know is what is written in their profile. If you find their pic and what they've written OK, then that's a beginning otherwise read & delete.
The Eagle
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/11/2008 3:30:57 PM | Uhmmm.....why are you here, on POF, at all?
Do you expect men to read your mind to learn about you? | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/11/2008 3:46:04 PM | OPie, consider your targeted audience: PUT IT IN LARGE PRINT AT THE TOP OF THE PROFILE.
Would you rather be right, or effective?
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/11/2008 3:52:26 PM | Not-for-you.
Yes, I have only been here 6 months. But it seems that i have gotten more women in that 6 months than you and some other women have men on this post in the 3 years you and the others have been here and i didn't have to use a strap on. Don't need one, I got plenty of the real thing. | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/11/2008 4:05:32 PM | mxk883.
I don't mean no harm for burnlybabe Good lord man look at her picture. She looks so solemn. She needs to get laid or something that might would put a smile on her face. But then again the poor bottom feeder that was trying to please her would come up short and never get any because he didn't say exactly the right thing for her or jump through the hoop just the way she thinks he should. OK, I'm done. I don't mean any harm. I will get off of her back. | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/11/2008 4:07:21 PM |
UglyBetty and the rest of the women here:
When I send an email, I've read her profile. I don't smoke, so I don't contact smokers. I'm not interested in LD encounters, so they live within a reasonable distance ( less than 25 miles). In short, I don't aimlessly send emails to women who don't meet my criteria.
I think that you are in the minority, as are a lot here in the forums. For the most part, people here are fairly coherent, have some intelligence and (with a few exceptions) know what they're here for (or not for). So I am sure when you send messages out - I can tell by what you've written - that you've made sure it was worth sending the message. I believe 100% that the profiles represents 1% of the whole site. It's pretty obvious - as 99% of the e-mails we get are questionable.
When I say, "Would you like to chat?" that means no more than would you like to talk or communicate. Communication could be by email, phone, IM, or carrier pigeon. In any case, you've got a mouth - say how! And do I really have to tell you to read my profile?
I agree that "wanna chat" literally means just that - and I assume it means nothing but that - because that's what was said. You can't assume context when you have no body language to go by.
I will read the profile only if that's what you want me to do - keep in mind, I may not have seen you before or I may have no interest and if that's the case, it won't dawn on me based on that type of e-mail. I will chat generally with anyone...so when someone says "do you want to chat?" I take that literally - mostly because that's been the case most of the time. Someone just wants to chat.
If I have some interest (which is rare because if I did, I'd have found him already and messaged him), then I'll automatically read the profile and have questions based on my interest when he responds. If I'm not, then I will tell him sure, why not - let's chat - and from there he's got the floor. I don't assume interest on his part unless he specifies it because I'm not presumtuous...either way tho, once he asks and I respond positively, it's up to him to come back with something of some interest.
I stand by my statement that I find the attitude of many women on this site very controlling and now I'll add inflexible. I don't feel I should have to spell out every little detail to a woman who has some intelligence. I have run into too many people in my life both men and women who are into control to the point that people have to approach them in just the "right" way or they are ready to fight.
I agree with that because it's extreme - but in a sea of men who might want to talk to you, shouldn't some or most of them have some sort of conversation ready should the response happen to be a green light?
Again personally I have no problem with an opener like that, so long as you have something substantial to follow it up with.
And finally, when someone sends you an email, you don't know anything about this person. You don't know if they've read your profile or not. About all you know is what is written in their profile. If you find their pic and what they've written OK, then that's a beginning otherwise read & delete.
I totally agree (careful tho, there could be some backlash on suggesting the whole "read/delete" issue, some men are sensitive about it). | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/11/2008 4:17:16 PM | Re the Opost
Writing a profile that "communicates" well who the POFer is and what kind of POFer she/he is looking for is both a science and an art. One cannot automatically blame the "audience", or actually a few members of it, if they seem to not have "received" all the "messages" communicated via the profile.
IME/IMO the "better" written a profile is, the more it will encourage communication by members of the other sex. Having said that:
a) Photos always (and I mean always, no matter what people say or write in forums) are worth 1000 words (each). People do not fully read or retain the text contents of profiles, IME, and that includes many women who claim that they do, IME, IME of course.
b) The "wanna talk" invitation could of course be phrased/put forward within the context of a bit longer and "thoughtful" first mail. Such as "Hi, I like your profile and would love to communicate further with you, so after consulting my profile, let me know if you share the initial interest". But that is kinda boring! Thus, for a first casual mail that demonstrates INITIAL interest, a "Hi, how are you?" content is IMO sufficient. It implies all the boring stuff I mentioned above. Just like IRL (not Ireland, "in real life")!
c) Thus, IMO/IME, the "problem" is not "wanna chat" mails from males to females or the opposite, but "profile content".
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/11/2008 4:46:53 PM | @Eddie - do you take joy in insulting people that you don't know or know nothing about? Once again you continue to miss the point. You seem to be using POF to rack up a dating quota (refering to your comment about having soooooo many dates). I'm not looking to rack up dates, I am looking for the right guy. I have my standards and I will stick by them. Do strong, independent women scare you? Feel the need to put them in their place, do you? Very sad.
@mxk883 - thank you for being a gentleman and not allow another man to insult a lady. Much appreciated. Nice to see chivalry is not dead.
Anyway, it's the weekend - finally - everyone get out there and enjoy yourselves!
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/11/2008 4:48:02 PM | eddie-you seem to think this is a numbers game. Do you think I cant have a date every lunch and dinner of the week? Its a matter of quality not quantity. Its also very hard for a women to find a man to have sex with her. Sometimes we even have to pay you stud muffins to give us a little lovin So glad I have my strap on I sure wish I had the real thing like you | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/11/2008 5:08:09 PM |
Yes, I have only been here 6 months. March was 6 months ago? Ehh...must be using a different calendar.
So much yapping over profiles, you're not the first, OP you won't be the last.
If you take your profile or any of this stuff too seriously, you will be missing what should be happening.........having fun, meeting people and yes, perhaps some day come across someone that meshes with you nearly perfectly.
I think it's all rather like trying to drive a nail into a chunk of jello, the harder you "try" the more it seems like it's just never going to happen.
I would concentrate more on enjoying being here, getting to know people going to events, posting in the forums. If you're having fun, I think that makes you a much more attractive overall person than any great picture could capture. I'm not at all saying don't not "try" or wish or hope for, but don't make that your main focus. | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/11/2008 5:12:49 PM | | I know the feeling. If you go about it w/ a " Don't give a crap attitude" you'll probably feel better. | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/11/2008 6:46:27 PM | | Now' Isn't that just like a lot of women. You want to say that i am being insulting. All i have done is pour out to you what you have been pouring out to others. So far you insulted some guy because he didn't speak good English. You been calling some of us men bottom feeders. You called 1 guy mindless, and me bitter. I have made it plain that i don't have a bitter bone in me. And i don't. But as usual it's OK for a woman to be insulting to others. When a guy dishes it back that's bad. You said you were here to vent. Don't you expect to have it dished back to you? Personally you sound jealous because i actually get dates on this site. That's what this site was meant for. To get dates until you find someone your compatible with? Not to be picky and wait for some guy to finally say the right thing. I have already said that i have found someone here. Thats why my profile is hid. People are not going to find each other until the throw away there ideas of what they think they want and get out and date. You date many. But you pick one. Now' I'm out of here' I got a date. | |
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| Profiles - why bother?
Posted: 4/11/2008 7:19:11 PM | burnlybabe'
One more thing before i leave. A lot of what i said before this post was bull. Just carrying on with the carrying on. But this is true. I was married for 6 years to the wrong woman. When i got out of that marriage i made up my mind that i wasn't going to make the same mistake again. I thought i was waiting for the certain thing that i thought i wanted. It was a huge mistake. I passed up a lot of good women because of the idea i had in my head. Now i look back at the ones i passed up because i was waiting for that certain thing and wonder if one of those was the one that was meant for me and i missed it. It's to late now, no going back. So now i date and i don't make excuses. To short, to tall,to little, to big, and a whole host of other excuses. I give women a chance to show me who they are inside where it counts. And then i make up my mind from there if i want to pursue a relationship with her. I am not saying for sure that it is this way. But i think that's why i have had better luck on this site than a lot of others. Hope you have a good night. P.S. Strong independent turn me on. I like a woman with a brain. I also like a woman that i can have a intelligent conversation with. All bull aside. Sex wanes away. If you don't have something else besides that then you are going to be very board with each other. And when you grow old what are you going to have left?......... | |
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