| is anyone here willing to wait until marriage?
Posted: 4/9/2008 6:10:27 AM | > I've bought a car, clothes and shoes without testing them out first...
Me too, come to think of it now that you mention it. Oh, the horrors of shopping online...
At least with a reputable or semi-reputable business you typically have reasonable return options.
Here's the tricky thing with the word "morals": it really refers to little more than "generally accepted customs of conduct". [Middle English, from Old French, from Latin moralis, from mos, mor-, custom.]
As I understand them, the currently accepted custom is to not wait until marriage. So morals can be a slippery slope because customs change, and in this case they have changed -- though even back when women were officially virgins at their weddings and thus entitled to wear white (now there's a custom they should bring back!) probably a quarter or a third were pregnant. The shotgun wedding (aka "the man doing the right thing") is one custom which we've done away with, though we've replaced it with the shotgun divorce instead.
Anyway, what I was trying to get around to was answering the "will holding off speed up a proposal?" question. I think the answer is "yes", thus possibly hurting the development of other aspects of the budding relationship. It wasn't all that long ago that 4-6 months from meeting to wedding was about the norm, though I think that seems awful fast by today's standards.
None of this means anyone needs to do what almost everyone else is doing. Lots of customs are just plain dumb.
| |
|
| |
| is anyone here willing to wait until marriage?
Posted: 4/9/2008 7:00:35 AM | | For me, putting sex on hold until marriage is not a deal-breaker. I would propose at an appropriate time, if she did not do so first. My decision to do so would not be influenced by sexual considerations. I'd be far more concerned that a marriage would be workable in the first place. | |
|
ddist
|
Joined: 3/31/2008
Msg: 54 | |
| |
| is anyone here willing to wait until marriage?
Posted: 4/9/2008 2:47:06 PM | i hope you marry a guy with a small penis and an even smaller knowledge on how to please a woman..  the whole wait til marriage thing is insane...
in the face of simple logic and science, god is as real as santa claus.. actually santa claus is more real.. i've even sat in his lap as a kid.. i just hope he wasnt a catholic priest as well..
religion is for people evidently too simple minded to think for themselves.. they follow the bible like its stereo instructions or something.. its ludacris.. i find it hard to believe that everybody sits in church and just swallows all the dogma spoon fed to them... i worry for the future of america when loonies like george bush run things.. he actually believes god made him president..
good news is, bible thumpers, you can deny yourself all lifes pleasures in the hope that you will be rewarded somehow when you die..
meantime, i'll be over here partying like hugh hefner baby! and guess what... we'll end up in the same place.. in the ground as worm food.. 'cept i'll have a smile on my face..  | |
|
| |
| is anyone here willing to wait until marriage?
Posted: 4/9/2008 4:45:42 PM | I wouldn't wait. She may be hiding something wrong down there and I don't want to wait until I'm married to find out.
Don't you have to make love before you have love? | |
|
| is anyone here willing to wait until marriage?
Posted: 4/9/2008 4:55:14 PM |
Because to a Christian, the way the person behaves sexually is not anywhere as near important as how they behave in other areas of there life. To a Christian, it's not about pleasing yourself, and getting what you want, it's about God's WILL attested through the bible. Lots of Christians actually end up staying single because of this. You can scoff at it all you want, but its a belief they feel so strongly about, that most are willing to die for. Are you willing to die for the sex? prolly not.
Please don't generalize. Christians can't hold themselves any higher than any other group involved in mass religion. In fact, almost every Christian I know has been married, divorced, had children out of wedlock, an abortion, cheats, lies, steals, denies their family a helping hand and/or other horsecrap. Of course you'll reply that they weren't true Christians, but what the hell does that mean? Even Jesus was a Jew. Case in point, the OP. Sell it however you want, but when some dude says I can never have sex or I'll be killed for it, guess what junior? I'm fighting tooth and nail for the right to get my freak on. If I get killed in the interim, then whatever. Discussing scenarios like that though are a bit ridiculous though, don't you think? They're devoid of the current reality we live in.
Besides, I believe that Jesus did have sex. Any dude that preaches that much peace and love has got to know about it intimately. I would hate to follow the teachings of someone who never loved another person in the most intimate way. So yeah, I dig what Jesus taught and that was a message of love. Lovemaking just comes naturally out of it. Whether a piece of paper makes it right or wrong is just some bullsh!t created by Man. | |
|
| |
| is anyone here willing to wait until marriage?
Posted: 4/9/2008 5:10:57 PM | | The whole concept of waiting until marriage for sex was a great idea when it was instituted. But you have to realize that this is back in a time when girls were being married off when they were 10 to 15. So it was not only required by the churches, but generally a good idea when people were so young to begin with. While the notion of waiting may seem romantic for some, it's just become an outdated custom used by organized religion to try and keep a hold on the days when they were in complete control. | |
|
ddist
|
Joined: 3/31/2008
Msg: 61 | |
| is anyone here willing to wait until marriage?
Posted: 4/9/2008 6:34:39 PM | hey there.. "new dood in town" (hope you marry a guy with a small penis and an even smaller knowledge on how to please a woman.. the whole wait til marriage thing is insane... )
your picture reminds me of someone, back in the day, lived in Germany in 1940's, don't you think? | |
|
| |
| is anyone here willing to wait until marriage?
Posted: 4/9/2008 8:41:58 PM |
i hope you marry a guy with a small penis and an even smaller knowledge on how to please a woman.. the whole wait til marriage thing is insane...
Personal attacks never solve anything. The OP was asking a legitimate question
in the face of simple logic and science, god is as real as santa claus.. actually santa claus is more real.. i've even sat in his lap as a kid.. i just hope he wasnt a catholic priest as well..
And what logic and science would that be praytell? A true scientist would realize that God's existence can be neither proven true nor false. The only logically acceptable answer is "I don't know".
There are secular reasons to want to wait until marriage (or until the point in the relationship when you know you aren't going to be splitting up. Sex, however enjoyable, is designed for one purpose: reproduction. The reason its so enjoyable is so that you are motivated to do it frequently enough to ensure the survival of the species. Sex produces kids. Kids are best handled by a married or soon-to-be married couple, not people who just met 3 weeks ago.
Also OP I will be waiting until I'm very serious with a woman. At a time when the possibility of a child is not unfavorable. The status of being married or not is irrelevant. You know if you are "married" long before the actual ceremony.
But to each there own. I just know I don't want to end up paying child support, so I'll wait until there can't be any complications. | |
|
| |
| is anyone here willing to wait until marriage?
Posted: 4/9/2008 9:29:50 PM |
Kids are best handled by a married or soon-to-be married couple, not people who just met 3 weeks ago.
Biggest problem with that theory is that in reality the divorce rate in this country is 50%. Probably the most significant contribution to screwing up a kid's life. BTW, I know married people treat each other as if they just met three weeks ago.
I just know I don't want to end up paying child support, so I'll wait until there can't be any complications.
No complications? Use a condom. And make sure she's on birth control. It's called "shared responsibility." You can exercise this method before kids start spouting out of her uterus. | |
|
| is anyone here willing to wait until marriage?
Posted: 4/9/2008 9:43:11 PM | Biggest problem with that theory is that in reality the divorce rate in this country is 50%. Probably the most significant contribution to screwing up a kid's life. BTW, I know married people treat each other as if they just met three weeks ago.
Good point. Its a topic for another thread but people in the USA these days do not wait long enough to get married, nor do they do it for the right reasons all the time (ie gold-digging women or slimeball "men" marrying trophy wives).
No complications? Use a condom. And make sure she's on birth control. It's called "shared responsibility." You can exercise this method before kids start spouting out of her uterus.
Good point and I think that's valid for most people. But the risk is still there and for me personally, I don't want to take that risk unless I'm with someone I know I'd be comfortable having a kid with. I'm 23, I don't want to have my future taken because I was the 0.01 on the 99.99% effective control. And yes it would affect me because there's not a chance in hell I'd abandon the kid and I'd be fighting for custody. | |
|
| is anyone here willing to wait until marriage?
Posted: 4/9/2008 9:55:31 PM |
I'm 23, I don't want to have my future taken because I was the 0.01 on the 99.99% effective control. And yes it would affect me because there's not a chance in hell I'd abandon the kid and I'd be fighting for custody.
That's the point of making sure she is on birth control. Believe me, I don't want any mini-mes running around, either. | |
|
| |
ddist
|
Joined: 3/31/2008
Msg: 69 | |
| |
| is anyone here willing to wait until marriage?
Posted: 4/9/2008 11:20:16 PM | No thanks. I do not need a paper in a courthouse to validate my relationship(s).
If someone needs a legally binding contract (marriage) before having sex with me then I want a million dollars in a numbered account in the Cayman Islands (that is accessible to me only in the event of divorce and/or lousy sex...) | |
|
| is anyone here willing to wait until marriage?
Posted: 4/10/2008 12:19:57 AM |
hey, come on, Madonna is 50 and she still looks great!! haha
29 is the new 19 lol
Yeah, but at what cost to her husband? Guy Ritchie was selected as one of the most pu**ywhipped men by GQ. I don't want to mention the picture they posted of him. Poor **stard. | |
|
| is anyone here willing to wait until marriage?
Posted: 4/10/2008 12:39:59 AM |
I am actually surprised by the responses. There is more of you guys than I thought.. willing to wait for the right girl..
LOL Just because they are willint to wait for you doesn't mean they're not having sex someplace. | |
|
| is anyone here willing to wait until marriage?
Posted: 4/10/2008 1:41:49 AM | I would wait...
In honesty it would be tempting to have sex, but in the end it would be nice knowing they are in the relationship for something deeper.
Derek | |
|
| is anyone here willing to wait until marriage?
Posted: 4/10/2008 1:54:21 AM | ah the banter here is mighty !!!
y'all need to show some respect to one another
back to the question at hand
im female and would i wait until marriage till i had sex... and by the way im an irish catholic who is from dublin...
hell no i wouldnt wait.... no way... you want to know why... i dont need a piece of paper to prove i love someone or to make love to them... making love/ or sex is a way of expressing your love for that person... giving them something apart of yourself.. your body..
i have been married... and i felt when i make love with my husband it was like coming home... it was precious... that was even before we
were man and wife.. anyone in my opinion who needs a piece of paper to show they love someone should question what they are lacking in themselves to have to wait and to prove to themselves?
altho i do respect anyones decision, tis their life. | |
|
| is anyone here willing to wait until marriage?
Posted: 4/19/2008 12:42:26 AM | In one word: YES
The reason I'd wait with her until we were married is I happen to believe thats when that is suppose to all take place. After your married and on the night of your honeymoon. Why would anyone risk messing up the best thing in the world with the person they are going to spend the rest of their life with. There will be plenty of time for all that after your married.
As for proposing sooner because of that...I don't think so. Personally, until I know 100% she's the one I can't live without that wouldn't change when I would propose to her. I'm going to know 100% she's the one first. | |
|
Home
login 
