| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 4:57:00 PM | Hmm, I never ask for a pic. Eventually guys offer to send some...
The thing that really annoys me though is when guys without pics email me asking to see MORE pics. Come on, you already saw 5 - you need more? I haven't even seen you! | |
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| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 5:39:14 PM | It's not a question of "quality" for me and many others. The short and sweet of it is, for me, I at least have to see some sort of attraction from the picture. If I'm not attracted then that's the way it is.
To whom I'm attracted varies greatly from say....my best friend or co-worker or next door neighbor. I went out with a guy last month. I found him visually attractive, not to mention his intelligence which came from communication AFTER the visual. However, when shown his photo, my best friend and a couple of co-workers did not find him attractive to them. Online dating is essentially doing the "dating scene" a$$-backwards from the real world outside of cyberspace, of course.
And some of you girls are gonna laugh at THIS...........I think Brad Pitt is handsome but I'm not attracted to HIM in the least.......  | |
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| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 5:46:53 PM | "On the flip side, the more unattractive the person they insist on a pic before conversing past the initial contact. Is it because they figure since they post their ugly mug for the world to see that someone without one must be even worse looking then them?"
I've never noticed this, maybe you just attract ugly people....
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| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 5:48:12 PM | vro312, would our bathrooms have more toilets than the pretty girl bathrooms? 
I tend to agree with mominatrix, men without pictures make me wonder what they are trying to hide. | |
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| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 5:52:19 PM | | I for one don't even look at the profiles without pics,I'm not vain or shallow,I just see no sense in chatting it up with someone that I may not be attracted to,as everyone is looking for something different and everyone has different ideas of what they deem "attractive",I'm talking appearence as well as attractive INSIDE as well as OUTSIDE,well,what is attractive to each of us individiually anyway. | |
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vro312
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Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 31 | |
| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 5:54:38 PM | vro312, would our bathrooms have more toilets than the pretty girl bathrooms?
No, no, no, thebugisback . . . you're not one of the unattractive people.
The unattractive people are the ones with the triangles sewn onto their clothing--that's so just in case *you* don't recognize them as being unattractive, you will immediately be alerted to the fact that they *are*, in fact, unattractive.
You know who they are; they're the ones we all hate.
(But, to answer your question, their bathrooms won't have toilets--they will have holes in the cold, grey cement floor.) | |
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| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 6:20:14 PM |
I usually only talk to people who are within a 30 minute or so drive anyway so I figure that they might as well just see me in person and make their decision about me then.
That's my thinking too but I'm willing to send a pic just to save them trouble. In the early online years few people had pics to send and it was still fun.
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| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 6:20:24 PM | | I had 8 pictures up one time and a guy asked me to send him more because I looked heavy in one and he wanted to make sure it was me. He, of course, had no picture at all. | |
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| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 6:33:29 PM | It might seem like only the ugly people are asking for pics. It does not matter though if they are ugly or not. They sort of have a right to see who they are talking to. You saw them so why should they not see you? It is only fair. If you have no interest, then end the email tag. That is only fair also.
I will not meet someone unless I see a pic. I may not be the most handsome man but I am not ugly. | |
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| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 6:35:26 PM | vro312 I thought this was the week we wore stars. I get so confused. It changes so often, one week a triangle, blue star, then yellow star... Thank you so much for the laugh.
I have read a few picture threads which include the dreaded toys, pic or no pic, motorcycles, etc. I still hope that guys understand that some women have had problems with stalkers and can understand our need for more than one picture. Yes, I know even those can be faked, but I haven't had problems with anyone with a picture. Well other than you know...old photos...gahhhh... | |
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| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 6:48:52 PM | Damn.. I guess I need to start sitting in the back of the bus then.
..."can I still drive my car massa? I promise, I be a good boy.." | |
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| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 6:54:08 PM | | Beauty is after all in the eye -- well in area 18 of the cerebral cortex and the right amygdala of the beholder -- where as ugly is instantiated in the very soul. I am rather curious -- why, if they are ugly AND picky would that be a problem.....? One should eliminate the other from consideration -- based on non-commutative linear logic. | |
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| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 7:03:09 PM | | Maybe I'm ugly then, but after initial contact I like to get an idea of who I'm talking to. I've gone on dates with guys because I liked their personality even when I wasn't immediately attracted to them. To me the idea of the picture is to give me someone to picture myself talking to so it doesn't seem so impersonal as computer chatting. Heck I find that usually the guys show me old pictures of them back when they were skinnier or more muscular and show up completely opposite. A couple I swear were not who they were in the photos at all! It just helps me to feel less silly I suppose to have something to look at as I chat. | |
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| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 7:10:28 PM | First off, I _really_ got a kick out of how many people incorrectly assumed the OP was a man. Was it just me or did most such "assumers" fall on the pro-photo side of the line?
OP: it's possible you have the cause and effect reversed here.
You ask if/why unattractive people are more likely to ask for a picture. It could be that when someone asks for a photo you unconsciously (or maybe even consciously) start thinking of them as shallow or judgmental, and that assessment of their character as unattractive begins to bleed over into your assessment of their appearance.
I imagine one could set up a randomized experiment to test this out, but I can't imagine anyone wanting to go to the effort to do so ;).
As to the quantity vs. quality question ... having attractive photos will certainly increase the quantity of responses, and particularly the quantity of low-quality "yer hot" type responses. It's not clear whether this means the "average quality" of the responses will be lower, or if there will be enough of an increase in the "high quality" responses as well. Keep in mind that the "quality" of the responses is highly subjective. To someone who is turned off by shallow or judgmental behavior (or to be PC "highly visually motivated" perhaps) responses to a profile with no photo will probably seem to be of higher quality.
To play a little devil's advocate to those who say "you've seen my photo, it's own fair that I see yours". If I posted nude photos, my home address, phone number, and bank balance then demanded the same from you, would you feel my request was justified?
No, it's not quite the same ... I'm just trying to point out that not everyone has to think exactly like you, and there can be entirely legitimate reasons for not posting a photo.
The "at least minimal attraction has to be there" argument rings a bit hollow to me as well. Visual appearance is (or at least can be) a actually a rather small part of attraction. It's just the easiest to convey via a website so people tend to lean upon too heavily (much like Doctor's putting too much emphasis on easily measured numbers like Body Mass Index and Cholesterol Levels).
Enough ranting from me for now. | |
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| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 7:10:31 PM | off-topic, and not meant as a slam.. but since this is silly thread..
I feel that I am a quality person but
..another awesome profile checkbox: _x_ I am a quality person.
(again.. not slamming you, just struck me funny, since i would hazard a guess that virtually everyone here is a quality person, in their own eyes..) | |
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| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 7:11:19 PM | | Are you kidding?...No pic...Calling a person unattractive... I love these types , "Im too purty to put on pic on a dating site"!..That spells a mammoth hiding in a cave.. | |
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| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 7:15:40 PM | Well I am afraid you have to count me in as one who likes to see a pic as well - how else can I tell it's them when I meet for coffee with them?
Everyone has a different idea of attractiveness - and different things go into making up that attractiveness - looks are only a part of it, but if the man is willing to show his pic, it is only fair that you show yours. | |
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| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 7:16:23 PM | | no you are not reading too much into this.I find also that I have talked to several ladies on here ond when I send a pic its like they are too good to respond to me any more.I don't claim to be a mel gibson.I'm just me and i think i have pretty good morals.When i talk to someone without a pic i am looking for values and morals,not a beauty queen. | |
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vro312
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Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 44 | |
| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 7:28:34 PM |
To someone who is turned off by shallow or judgmental behavior (or to be PC "highly visually motivated" perhaps) responses to a profile with no photo will probably seem to be of higher quality.
But riddle me this, Joker. When a person of seemingly higher quality responds to a profile with no photo, but has followed the link in the profile to this question . . .
Is it because they figure since they post their ugly mug for the world to see that someone without one must be even worse looking then them?
. . . does that, by virtue of the respondent's acceptance of, and possible attraction to, such blatantly intolerant views, cancel out said high quality?
For example:
Responding to profile without picture = HIGH QUALITY
Responding to profile with link to forum post that bashes "unattractive people" and refers to their countenance as "their ugly mug" = LOW QUALITY
ergo . . .
HIGH QUALITY + LOW QUALITY = NO QUALITY? | |
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| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 8:16:25 PM | I have talked to several ladies on here ond when I send a pic its like they are too good to respond to me any more.
All the more reason to get the pics out there right off the bat, I say first contact (and for the record I am considered to be quite attractive). Who wants to be rejected on the basis of their looks after exchanging several messages and starting to get their hopes up, thinking they have a chance?
On a related note, a while back I answered a guy's personal ad on another venue and I thought I had sent him a pic with my first message to him. We exchanged messages and chatted on the phone over about a 3 week period, then decided to meet. The day we were meeting I called him to confirm the exact time and place we would choose and just as we were getting off the phone he says, "well you'll have to find me of course, since I have no idea what you look like."
I was shocked. I asked him if he forgot what my picture looked like and he said I had never sent one. (I later confirmed through my sent mail folder that he was right; there was no attachment on any of the emails I had sent him.) I asked him why he had not asked for a picture and get this, he said that he was so impressed with me from our conversations that he didn't care what I looked like! I couldn't believe he was actually willing to go so far as to actually go on a date with someone he had no physical idea of whatsoever. He had posted a couple pictures of himself with his ad, so I knew before even answering the ad that I found him physically attractive, and I just assumed since he had photos up he would want the same in return, but that was not the case. | |
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| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 8:31:27 PM |
Anyone else notice this or am I just reading too much into it?
It is always entertaining to read the way some people rationalize their behavior.
I am butt-ugly OP, and i have NO desire for your pictures.
I look forward to your new thread:
"Are sarcastic @ssholes just to full of themselves to accept my photographs?"
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| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 8:45:59 PM | | Durango, has that long-legged Tibbits gone missing at all? I'm thinking esad might be standing under him, and he has a rider. | |
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| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 8:48:11 PM | Wouldn't be cool if people posted pics of how they look when they first crawl out of bed? I think it should be mandatory that you post a pic of your butt ...full on ..no angles shots.
Oh ya and shallow was a word invented by ugly people to guilt-trip everyone else into liking them more.  | |
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| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 8:49:20 PM | | I refuse to post a pic. I could care less if I get less responses. I do and I have gotten responses from both men with and w/o pics. My theory is if we can't talk what we look like will make no difference. If a man is dead set on seeing me in order to just chat on line than he is not the man for me. I don't do shallow. I have been internet dating for several years now and the reasons nothing "worked out" had NOTHING to do with how I looked, ever. Having said that...the last man I met had no pic and he contacted me. He was a hunk but there was no physical attraction for me...why? He wanted his cake and eat it too...casual, somewhat materialistic, at least for me, liked me 'cause "I was smart, like him". Turned out he wasn't as smart as he tht. he was. YAWN but looks never entered into it... | |
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| Unattractive people asking for pics
Posted: 4/10/2008 9:03:02 PM |
Why is it when I am talking to an attractive person they almost never ask for a pic, or if they do it is usually after some sort of connection has already been established. On the flip side, the more unattractive the person they insist on a pic before conversing past the initial contact. Is it because they figure since they post their ugly mug for the world to see that someone without one must be even worse looking then them?
No one should have to bug you for a pic. If you don't have one posted on your profile, you should at least have one to send privately with your emails. If someone has to ask you more than once for a pic, there's a problem and it's not the person requesting the pic.
Here are some tips concerning pics though (a little bit off-topic, but important):
People who don't smile in their pics (open-mouthed smiles) usually have bad teeth.
People who only use head-shots are grossly overweight.
Keep those things in mind when you look at pics. It could save you some unpleasant surprises. | |
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