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| Would you introduce your companion to your single friends
Posted: 4/11/2008 6:12:07 AM | Well I went out with a man from POF for about 6 months and introduced him to my friends from here. He had told me he wanted an exclusive relationship with me, but he then asked one of my friends from here out. She told me immediately - I kept the friend, and dumped the loser.
Would I introduce another boyfriend to my friends again - absolutely! I do not want to waste my time worrying over whether the man I care about, will cheat on me - that's just a good way to drive yourself crazy. I believe if they are going to cheat, they will, and there is not a gosh darn thing I can do about it. I figure it's a good thing to find this out sooner, than later.
I have had men try to make me jealous - it's another game I won't play. Life is too short to go around distrusting people constantly. I would rather trust and suffer the occasional hurt, than to never trust and live in constant fear. | |
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| Would you introduce your companion to your single friends
Posted: 4/11/2008 6:16:17 AM | OP, I'm curious as to your use of the word "companion" in this context. Are you talking "live-in" companion, life-partner, steady gf/bf, FWB, or just a close buddy?
Yes, I would have no hesitation introducing my single friends to a companion in any of those catagories, and have done so several times. It hasn't happened yet, but if my friend and my "companion" hit it off, well...I guess we weren't as compatable as I thought we were.
A person can't go through life always suspicious that their partner will leave them for the next person that walks along - sometimes it happens and you deal with it and move on. Trust is a fragile thing; it's easily lost and very difficult to regain but it IS possible. | |
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vro312
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Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 34 | |
| Would you introduce your companion to your single friends
Posted: 4/11/2008 11:18:04 PM | Vro, tough talk:: Absolutely no insecurities,oh, female dude
There you go, OP! Take the confidence it took to say that, then say something that makes sense.
You'll feel better about yourself in no time.  | |
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| Would you introduce your companion to your single friends
Posted: 4/12/2008 1:46:55 AM | | its all about the trust, if you dont trust them enough to be around your friends, then as i see it you dont trust your significant other or you dont trust your friends, either way,, no trust, no relationship, cant trust friends? find new friends, | |
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| Would you introduce your companion to your single friends
Posted: 4/12/2008 1:58:28 AM | My friends, whether single, with SO or married, would not be my friends in the first place if they were jerks. I would have not qualms.
::edit:: and if yer thinking about the thinking of the companion's thoughts - well - I would hope by the time I did introduce him to my friends that the friendship/relationship is a little better than me introducing him to my friends ... his next conquest ... | |
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| Would you introduce your companion to your single friends
Posted: 4/12/2008 2:44:15 AM | | There's no point in being with someone if you think they will pounce on one of your friends as soon as they are given the opportunity. If there was any liklihood of that happening, I would not only reconsider my relationship with him but I'd also start to look a little more closely at the type of friends I'm keeping. | |
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| Would you introduce your companion to your single friends
Posted: 4/12/2008 5:21:23 AM | Why wouldn't you? The imaginary is probably from a low self esteem.....but if I have a problem with someone and the jealousy issue pops up ..... which seldom every happens I ask if its me or their behavior that is causing me to feel that way.....Jealousy is something I hate and have only felt a few times in my life. Sometimes its myself and I have to figure where I stand in all of it....and sometimes its their behavior and if it is then that is another story.........
Jealousy is the worse feeling in the world..........Blue | |
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| Would you introduce your companion to your single friends
Posted: 4/12/2008 1:46:54 PM | | Okay let me put it this way.Have you ever been out and cast your eyes on someone of the opposite sex with a partner, and they on you.It happens.You dont bring a cat where there are lots of dogs.Everyone, including your companion and your friends have been above board, until now. You dont bring an alcoholic where there is lots of liquor It happened to me, i mean the partner thing, not the alcohol.I lost a companion to a friend of mine.I found out about the affair weeks later. When i confronted both of them, their response, it happens and wasnt meant. Then i realized that there is more then me. | |
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| Would you introduce your companion to your single friends
Posted: 4/12/2008 2:21:07 PM | table,
Sorry to hear that happened, and if it's a relatively recent thing, no wonder you are still so upset.
But you must know that not every friend or every partner you have ever had, or ever will have, is going to be like that.
Do your grieving, but don't let that deter you from ever trusting again 
hnh
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| Would you introduce your companion to your single friends
Posted: 4/12/2008 4:45:38 PM |
esad:: Isn't this why we have dungeons ?
OP, how long exactly would you work on keeping them hidden ?
At what point would you feel like The Coast was Clear ?
Have you considered getting your S.O. a tattoo saying " I'm with Paranoid"
Oh a leash would be the next best thing 
gosh it all depends how confident one is in 'themselves'. | |
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| Would you introduce your companion to your single friends
Posted: 4/12/2008 5:09:00 PM | | Those confident people, I wonder who filled them up. It will never happen to me people.I thought this was a 45+ Forum.Dont ever confuse paranoid with careful.By the way the leash idea has possibilities | |
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| Would you introduce your companion to your single friends
Posted: 4/12/2008 5:42:53 PM | OP ... with due respect ... confident people tend to fill themselves up. It’s hard for someone else to make you confident. It starts (often) with getting old enough that you decide that you don’t give a d*mn what other people think. You are what you are, not such a bad person (within acceptable social limits), so you might as well be happy with it. In a sense, it forces confidence in you. And not moving forward and taking those confident steps, is much different than simply, being careful. Confidence is not being afraid to step ahead. Being careful is looking down at your feet as you step, to see where they are being placed. And confidence built this way makes it so you’re not afraid to let your significant other spend some time with your best (possibly attractive?) male friend. Because you know, that if you’re giving your companion what she wants/needs as a woman, she’ll have no wish to look elsewhere. And if you really care about your S/O, it’ll make you feel very good to see all that she is mesmerize all those she comes near.
cdn guy | |
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| Would you introduce your companion to your single friends
Posted: 4/12/2008 5:54:23 PM |
tableguy :: Those confident people, I wonder who filled them up. It will never happen to me people.I thought this was a 45+ Forum. Don' t ever confuse paranoid with careful. By the way the leash idea has possibilities
Ah you see tableguy I am one of those confident people, and NOT saying this hasn't happened to me before, actually it has happened twice to me before, but you see I feel comfortable in my skin. If I have to fight too hard to keep a man by my side, well then I don't care to continue with the relationship as I have this belief that a relationship, love, should come from both sides.
If he needs to stray after I have put everything into a relationship well he doesn't deserve me LOL and 'they/whoever' can have him. It really should be a 'invisible leash' of the heart after all ... (then we can try for real at home LOL) | |
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| Would you introduce your companion to your single friends
Posted: 4/12/2008 8:02:30 PM | | It's really not a ridiculous question. I was shocked when I divorced my first husband when I was 21 and found out that he really only had one good friend. Almost every guy he had introduced me to, came knocking on my door at least once hoping I would let them in (I didn't) and some were married. To their credit, most didn't hit on me while we were still together, but the minute we were divorced it started happening and I hadn't flirted with any of them. One person raped me (he got in the house when he asked if he could borrow a flashlight and I turned around to go get it). It made me wonder if men really have many true friends when it comes to women. Some of my second husband's buddies also let me know privately that they were more than willing to "take care of me" but I told them no. I believe I can trust my friends and of course, I would introduce anyone I was serious about to my friends. My closest friends are my 3 beautiful sisters and a couple cousins. They would tell me in a minute if a guy I was with came on to them. At least one guy did and that was the end of my relationship him. I would never go out with any of my friends' boyfriends or even ex-boyfriends no matter how cute I think he is and they wouldn't do that to me either. It's the woman, the guy has to be able to trust and if she's not trustworthy and she's attractive to his friends, he may be correct in assuming there's a good chance he may get hurt. I know this is a generalization, but I think any woman who will cheat can find plenty of men to cheat with, and some of them may very well be "friends" of her husband or boyfriend. | |
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| Would you introduce your companion to your single friends
Posted: 4/12/2008 9:46:55 PM | i don't think being single is the qualifying "non politically correct" factor. the person can be married and flirt with your S/O. as for me, i trust my close married and single friends and my S/O. however, once we were at a jazz performance and this drunken woman he had danced with when he was single, started hanging all over him. he very graciously and physically nudged her back to some boundaries and when she wanted a "ride" to another event, he gave her a polite but firm rejection. i admit, i was proud! i never have been a jealous person and there is mutual trust, but when a situation becomes that obvious, my feathers do ruffle. i do know that fidelity is valued by both of us. but still how you handle flirtations such as this, can be empowering or disheartening to a mate.
in one other instance, i know of one woman who tends to hang with us now and then, who is very dysfunctional, and i don't trust in her behavior--nor does anyone else, either male or female. but all the "taken" men are careful not to be around her when others are not there as well. who knows what she might come up with to get a rise or create a scene. i believe the label for her is drama queen, but she has an additional aura that i totally don't trust and i hope she doesn't create a scene in someone's life, as she is quite crafty and appears to thrive on it. she is not someone i would invite, but she is around and we all are just very careful. | |
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