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 *LoisLane*
Joined: 4/1/2008
Msg: 26
Dating within' your LeaguePage 2 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)

"I think you're living in a fantasy world if you don't think the concept of leagues exist. Not just based on looks, but the whole package; social status, education, money, career, talents, etc."


I agree. Whether spoken or unspoken, real or imagined, there are leagues society gives credibility to and there are leagues of our own. Ooops, that's not copyright infringement, is it? DRAT!


"I would have as much chance dating someone who was beautiful and grew up in a family with 'old money' with social status and all that, as a fat, illiterate welfare mother would have in dating me. Just not gonna happen. No matter how great a guy I am, or how great the welfare mom was. It's called the real world."


OMW! This is just too f'n funny. Why wouldn't you be able to get a beautiful, old money chick? IME, they are some of the most repressed souls on the planet and, usually, always looking to piss off the old man because they don't agree with the family's mores, etc. I have known quite a few as I lived in three states in the American South. You show her someone real AND real fun and you could bag that. :winks: However, the illiterate, fat welfare mother.... hmmm.

I could go there but then this thread would be sure to get zapped by the mods as it would totally be OT. *smh* I would point out that weight, illiteracy and poverty are all changing variables...so a formerly fat, illiterate, welfare recipient, however, still a mom, could possibly bag you too! There is hope for us all!

I am in an inexplicably good mood. Don't mind me.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 27
Dating within' your League
Posted: 4/11/2008 10:25:27 AM

and there are leagues of our own. Ooops, that's not copyright infringement, is it? DRAT!


Ha! Someone who understand the subtle amusement potential of word use.

Lois, if I were a lesbian and in your league, I would hit on you.
 okeedokee444
Joined: 7/21/2007
Msg: 28
Dating within' your League
Posted: 4/11/2008 10:50:50 AM
Well, my problem is when someone ELSE suggests or says that you need to "stay within your own league and don't even bother approaching them" is quite arrogant.

There is actually this local girl, very cute, has been living in my small town for quite sometime, actually has an ad up on here....suprisingly she's in her 30's , never married, no kids....yeah, don't ask me how that happened. Any how, chances are, she needs to leave the county and go to the big city, she's not going to find any "hunks' around here...and personally suprised she's stil living here.
AT any rate....she used to work as a mall clerk for a time, then worked later at the local small town video store

Apparently, she worked with a friend of mine who would be considered "Average looking", he used to work at a store in the mall with this one woman, and I guess now hes' working elsewhere, he's considreing asking her out.

His co-worker, who ALSO used to work at the mall, knew OF her....and has the audacity to say to him, "YOu know...you really should pursue women "within' your league""

He was insulted by this, becuase you know what that translate to?

"You're ugly, why are you pursing her? You should really pursue women of your own ugliness".

I have seen this girl, and she's not really that much of a hottie actually.

It's just when others make those snide remarks (and probably has severed freindships because of it) that tick ME of fwhen they tell me to "not even bother".

But as of late, most women I'm attracted to or think are attractive, these days, are apparently out of my league. :OP
 ChildfreeGlow
Joined: 3/4/2008
Msg: 29
Dating within' your League
Posted: 4/11/2008 11:12:39 AM
As some other posters have pointed out, there are definitely "leagues" that relate to not only good looks, but socio-economic status, education level, and more. I don't care how hot a guy looks, if he talks like he's from a trailer park or ghetto, thinks a fun evening together is a 6-pack in front of the TV, and finds the symphony boring, we are not in the same social group (league).

Not only would I not accept a dating invitation from such a man, but I would really very much appreciate it if he would not approach me in the first place. It is annoying to walk a gauntlet of unwelcome attention when you're just trying to grab your lunch. I like to dress well (tasteful, not trashy) and I know an unemployed guy can look at me and know immediately what socio-economic group I'm in. They know they are aiming out of their league when they approach me and they're probably thinking, "What's the harm in trying?" Well for them no harm, but for me it's called constant harassment.

What I really appreciate is when a well-dressed professional walks up to me after a "thanks but not thanks" encounter and says something nice to me like "Hope you're having a nice day. You look lovely." That puts a smile back on my face and makes me glad I put care into my appearance that day, instead of regretting I attracted any attention.
 *LoisLane*
Joined: 4/1/2008
Msg: 30
Dating within' your League
Posted: 4/11/2008 11:36:45 AM

"Ha! Someone who understand the subtle amusement potential of word use.

Lois, if I were a lesbian and in your league, I would hit on you."


Why thank ya, Gwendolyn. I could use the moral support. Sadly, I am in rare form and am not sure I could do it on command. Maybe I should email you my blog? You don't need to be my lesiban lover to read me. PS: I'm getting ready to publish an entry about the world's first 'man' who is preggers. Yup. It was on Oprah. OMF!! Don't wanna miss dat.


"thinks a fun evening together is a 6-pack in front of the TV, and finds the symphony boring..."


ChildFreeGlow,

This is the problem I have. Although, my drink of choice is not six cold brews, I don't mind drinking and carrying on in front of the boob-tube as long as he can enjoy the symphony when it's time to go. Or the ballet, or the museum or whatever the hell floats through this dome-o-mine. I don't care where you come from, I care where you see yourself going (in life)...so my league, would be the Above-Average-Intelligence- Worldly Interests-Adaptable-Flexible-League-Who-Don't-Pack-Heat. (Don't ask.)

Any recruits? Apply within.
 northeast25
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 31
Dating within' your League
Posted: 4/11/2008 11:38:49 AM
An average looking man on POF could email of bunch of attractive women and a bunch of average looking women. His positive reply rate would probably be very low in both cases. Therefore I don't think "staying in your league" necessary helps a man. Also looks can be subjective. A woman that is a 9 to me could be a 4 to another man or vice versa. Different people have different tastes. Some men might like thin women. Other men might like curvy women.
 mcbobly
Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 32
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Dating within' your League
Posted: 4/11/2008 11:44:51 AM

Dude, have you seen J. Lo. and her hubby, Marc Anthony? He's is no looker. Bad example

Indeed, I hadn't thought of that one. Thanks Lois for calling me on that one.


I met Lawrence Fishburne while he was filming The Matrix at Bed, Bath and Beyond on Sixth Avenue. But, as he was shorter than appeared on screen he was not in my league

I hate to sound mean or rude Lois, but I can't imagine too many men INyour league, you're very attractive. Don't mean to offend, just calling it as I see it.
 spiraldive
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 33
Dating within' your League
Posted: 4/11/2008 11:52:27 AM
If you make the mistake of making eye contact with a girl (in a bar) that you make the mistake of thinking is cute, & she does the little flick of her hair, nose in the air & looks away thinking that she is too good & out of everyones league - her snobbish actions instantly make her the most un-appealing person in the place... & makes her out of MY league.

Now, guys - here's a tip. If you are a good looking guy (just like me), don't stare at her, wait until she looks back (& she always will). Just before she makes eyecontact, dno not make eyecontact, copy what she did - stick your nose in the air, flick your air & look in the opposite direction. It's actually quite funny to do this - & if there are any girls in the place who actually GET IT - it is all the more funny for them also.



Nice...


 meteor 54
Joined: 2/10/2008
Msg: 34
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Dating within' your League
Posted: 4/11/2008 11:55:14 AM
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea!
Wasn't there an eight armed OCTOPUS in thar?
[like most guys....when they are outta their LEAGUE]

Everyone seems to be conscious over STATUS!
Thats the word to best describe this concept.

That one singer, she had a long relationship
with a Pizza delivery guy, 20 years younger!
[some.....TIP!]
 mcbobly
Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 35
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Dating within' your League
Posted: 4/11/2008 11:59:19 AM

Now, guys - here's a tip. If you are a good looking guy (just like me), don't stare at her, wait until she looks back (& she always will). Just before she makes eyecontact, dno not make eyecontact, copy what she did - stick your nose in the air, flick your air & look in the opposite direction

So you're saying that this is something that should be done by only the "good looking" guys, as you claim to be and the rest of us should what, just sit and wish we were good looking enough to do that? I see, hmmmm.
 PoeticBliss
Joined: 6/6/2007
Msg: 36
Dating within' your League
Posted: 4/11/2008 12:09:53 PM
Yikes--- the dating arena does have its miseries-- there's no worse feeling than to constantly feel "sized up" or "measured" by standards that you can or cannot match ... its like walking through quick-sand and feeling you can never quite stand up tall... and then there's the misery of worrying that because someone has more than another-- i.e. looks or brains or money or power etc that they stand to be swept-up by someone else because they have MORE.
Makes you want to run for the hills and give up dating altogether ... who needs the constant worries and competitions. I personally have gotten exhausted --- tired of finding men who love my company/mind, and dont mind sex but wont marry me becuase Im still a struggling student with extra weight on me right now... best you can do is try to find people who seem genuine and more spiritually inclined-- then again even they can be subject to similar discriminatory distractions!
Good luck --- hope you reel in a keeper all, poeticbliss
 wild heart
Joined: 10/14/2007
Msg: 37
Dating within' your League
Posted: 4/11/2008 12:33:01 PM
I think everyone can expect what they can offer. At the same time, lots of people underestimate themselves. Apparently I do.

I always go for it - what do I have to lose? And I say the same to everyone. Of course, I don't email someone who says they are looking for something that I don't have - restrictions. I'm talking restrictions that make sense - such as smoking, drugs, want children, wanting a BBW when I am thin.

Yes, I believe that "leagues" do exist, but not everyone subscribes to them - you might hit that person who doesn't.
 *LoisLane*
Joined: 4/1/2008
Msg: 38
Dating within' your League
Posted: 4/11/2008 12:50:46 PM
McBobly,

You are cracking me the hell up!


"So you're saying that this is something that should be done by only the "good looking" guys, as you claim to be and the rest of us should what, just sit and wish we were good looking enough to do that? I see, hmmmm."


In my mind, you are saying that in this cynical, deadpan voice that's like that guy from the 40-Year-Old Virgin.

But anyway, here's the thing the way I've seen it: It doesn't matter how good-looking men are. Seriously. This is an age-old woman's secret in my view. If men feel they are good-looking they will exude a confidence that's automatically attractive. An average-looking bloke can go home with the dime in the club or bar or lounge or whatever... if he exudes the same confidence as that other guy. But what happens is, he gets that far, then freezes. While he's frozen, she's got time to nit-pick his ass to death. It's something all women do. I am guilty of it too. Nit-pick a perfect guy into 'why the hell am I talking to this bloke?', or, he truly makes a gaffe of epic portions. Both have been known to happen.

Simply, one overcomes this by believing one is the best catch in the room, pond, ocean and sea. This is NOT the same as being a co*ky, a$$hole. That sh*t is for the birds and real women can identify that with the real confidence I'm talking about. I have read threads telling blokes to be the co*ky a$$es women want them to be. Not so, bad advice.

Hey, this may not work for every woman...but I know it works for the scores of g/fs I've had in my time -- and myself.

Btw, McBobly...thanks for the compliment. Quite sweet of you dude. However, if all men think like you do... that there's hardly any men in my league or something to that effect -- I will be single for a while, as by the looks of this thread...hardly anyone will chat it up with me. I can't win for losing...

Edit: The aforementioned nit-picking happens in our minds...not to the poor blokes's face.
 mcbobly
Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 39
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Dating within' your League
Posted: 4/11/2008 1:21:02 PM

McBobly,

You are cracking me the hell up!

Cool, hehehe.


In my mind, you are saying that in this cynical, deadpan voice that's like that guy from the 40-Year-Old Virgin

Almost I guess.


Simply, one overcomes this by believing one is the best catch in the room, pond, ocean and sea. This is NOT the same as being a co*ky, a$$hole. That sh*t is for the birds and real women can identify that with the real confidence I'm talking about

Tried that and still got no where. I just can't seem to come across as c*cky and arrogant, I just try to be polite yet confidant and yet it doesn't work.


Btw, McBobly...thanks for the compliment. Quite sweet of you dude. However, if all men think like you do... that there's hardly any men in my league or something to that effect -- I will be single for a while, as by the looks of this thread...hardly anyone will chat it up with me. I can't win for losing

You're welcome for the compliment Lois, thank you too. Well hopefully most me don't think like me and will approach you, but at first glance I would never approach you as I would feel as though you are out of MY league. And I'd love to chat it up with you, anytime.
 TheFantasyArtist
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 40
Dating within' your League
Posted: 4/11/2008 1:32:16 PM
Unfortunatly in our society,society is a world of "have's" and "have not's".I was messaged by a pretty woman who lived higher class lifestyle,things were going well until I told her where I live and what I do.Never heard from her again.Oh well,to each their own and moving on.Next!
 evnstevn
Joined: 1/11/2008
Msg: 41
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History
Dating within' your League
Posted: 4/11/2008 2:01:40 PM
I think Tim Burton is married to Helena Bonham Carter who is even more scrumptuous than J-Lo. Which I guess proves opposites do attract or it proves people with lots of money and celebrity only date within their league.

 Aurora772
Joined: 12/1/2007
Msg: 42
Dating within' your League
Posted: 4/11/2008 3:13:05 PM
Yes, leagues exist, although I really don't think that others can determine them for you. I suppose it's the worst of both worlds -- an unfortunate reality that you and only you have to experience. It really boils down to one simple thing, though, and that's that most girls are out of most guys' leagues. Guys will get shot down way more times than girls ever will. That's the fun of the dating game, or what I like to call "pay for pain".
 xerograv
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 43
Dating within' your League
Posted: 4/11/2008 4:20:31 PM
I always date outside my league, I think it's silly in all honesty anyways. People are just different.
 solewolf22
Joined: 12/20/2005
Msg: 44
Dating within' your League
Posted: 4/11/2008 5:30:12 PM
Blonde hair is attractive .......

league for blonde hair, created


Long legs are attractive.......

league for long legs, created


Razor-thin Side-burns are attractive .......

league for razor-thin side-burns, created


Guys 6' tall and better are attractive........

league for guys 6' tall and better, created


Big breasts are attractive

league for women with big breasts, created


(insert shade here) skin is attractive

league for women/men with (insert shade here), created



Remind me I have to track down the demi-god, who creates/created these "rules of engagement". I've been dying to shake his throa...... um, I mean, hand. Yeah, hand.

Over-stated it may seem, but media in all its forms, does the onice go to (stay with me, for a second, you might come away with something for doing so).

Painters were reknowned for their style. The particular way, THEY (billion dollar word) captured things. It's no secret, that many of them, were commisioned to capture *gasp* ........................................ women.
In fact, depending on how well said artist did, that became the "it" factor.
If the spark caught on for his depiction of blue eyes, guess what put you in there like Liz Phair ( ) ? Sure as heck wasn't an affinity for furry creatures.

Sound familiar ?

Of course there are things I personally (that's billion-dollar word number-2) find attractive. Difference is, I never create a league for women,or because they don't possess what I find personally attractive.

One of the first questions I'll ask a girl (assuming she's interested ), is ....

Do you know how to just be ?


Just be what , you may be asking. That usually preceeds anger, and the end of conversation. So goes it with anything you don't understand

Oh, and I should probably pass this memo out.

My inability do land a date/relationship, has nil to do with my perception of myself (lol, although if we were playing with words I'd agree emphatically )

Then again, I'm one fish among millions. What do I know ?
 ~tag~
Joined: 2/7/2008
Msg: 45
Dating within' your League
Posted: 4/11/2008 8:43:24 PM
This reminds me - I was listening to the radio the other day, the dj called Mark Anthony 'Skeletor' - you know - the bady from He-Man. Was funny. And let's not forget Selma Hyack (sp) and her spouse - he ain't no looker. Then we've Shania Twain and 'Mutt' Lang - he's a not so good looking guy.

While I don't believe in 'looks' making up the leagues - because you're either attracted or you ain't - no matter how cute they may be, it always seems to come down to the socio-economic factor that - for the most part - tends to regulate who gets to date, and who gets to date whom.

Looks? Who cares? If you find someone attractive, then that's pretty much cut and dried. You're best friend may find the same person to be absolutely 'shave it's butt and have it walk backwards' ugly.
 wild heart
Joined: 10/14/2007
Msg: 46
Dating within' your League
Posted: 4/12/2008 6:38:09 AM
So I wonder whether some of the posters in here who are claiming that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" have ever posted in a thread about men or women being shallow and only interested in looks?
 ripley65
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 47
Dating within' your League
Posted: 4/12/2008 6:46:51 AM
Im one of those who thinks there are certain men who id be out of their 'league'. Call it a self-esteem issue if you want, and it may very well be, but honestly,,i wont even give it a try. I just click on to the next profile.
 CatchinNJ
Joined: 11/23/2007
Msg: 48
Dating within' your League
Posted: 4/12/2008 7:02:40 AM
So what's my league???? How do the playoffs break down? What does the trophy look like? These are important questions I need answers!!
 beehearnow
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 49
Dating within' your League
Posted: 4/12/2008 7:02:57 AM
Snobby people who are worried about "leagues" are out of my league. I'm just not cool enough to hang around them. If they prefer to have people interested in them for what they have instead who they are...oh well.
 exciting1
Joined: 1/14/2008
Msg: 50
Dating within' your League
Posted: 4/12/2008 7:10:09 AM
well where was that "League for the side burns" ??
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