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 Stringbeen
Joined: 4/27/2008
Msg: 101
Dating within' your LeaguePage 5 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)

There are leagues... not so much as physical attraction but socio-economic.
Ya I think I agree with this. I mean from a sociological point.

I once knew this guy years back. We dated a bit and he was always chasing around women who were just that...'out of his league'. I heard his guy friends telling him this too. He'd say that he could get 'any girl' he wanted. So he didn't even think about it in a socioeconomic point of view. He just had the nerve to go after women who were 'out of his league'. But he always got dumped, even if they did date him. They'd figure him out.
 i am cher
Joined: 4/6/2008
Msg: 102
Dating within' your League
Posted: 5/26/2008 5:43:46 PM
Of course there are leagues, some are self imposed, some come from society. For instance, I have a pretty good idea of myself, I'm cute, funny, and overweight. I realize this will have an impact the men who are interested in me. Therefore, when I see an interesting profile, I may not contact the man because, I don't think he would be interested in me (self imposed). The beauty of the world is that if he doesn't agree, he can contact me.
 racer256
Joined: 1/31/2008
Msg: 103
Dating within' your League
Posted: 5/26/2008 6:22:23 PM
Dating within you league... ..Really...I dont define it quite that way...Most might though...
Dating within limitation...I dont think in those terms...Sorry...
Of coarse my ideas are mine...
 Happily Ever...maybe
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 104
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Dating within' your League
Posted: 5/27/2008 12:33:55 AM
Its pretty simple; if you think (s)he is out of your league, then they are. If I just go up and politely talk to somebody who catches my attention, the worst they can say is no. If they go out of their way to be rude in saying no, then I'm out of their league.
 ceolmor
Joined: 7/24/2006
Msg: 105
Dating within' your League
Posted: 12/1/2009 2:13:22 PM
It seems to me that some of the people posting that there is no such thing as a "league" in dating have a skewed idea of what it means. A "league" is not a rigidly defined caste system where a person can be slotted due to a particular trait or traits. The way I see leagues is more of an identification of social stratification present in society: class, attractiveness, race, political power, fame, and such. Although beauty can be in the eye of the beholder in some cases, the outright denial of stratification in dating would be as naive as the denial of economic class or racism in society.
 tjl2280
Joined: 8/15/2007
Msg: 106
Dating within' your League
Posted: 12/1/2009 4:16:30 PM
If you think that someone is not in your league, you are very immature and full of yourself. Just because someone has some type of flaw, it doesn't mean they are lesser of a person. The type of people who think that they are on a higher level usually are attractive on the outside but a POS on the inside. Once you start believing that everyone is equal that is when you start to build confidence in yourself.
 sweetlikesugarcane
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 107
Dating within' your League
Posted: 12/1/2009 7:06:21 PM
Sorry but there are most definitely "leagues."
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 108
Dating within' your League
Posted: 12/1/2009 7:44:58 PM
It's very pc to say that there are no leagues, but in the land of reality there are. How often do you see the really hot muscular guy dating the slightly pudgy, mousy looking woman? You may see it once in a blue moon, but it's an exception and does not happen very often, and when you do see it most of the time they started dating before she became overweight and dowdy looking. If someone is up for getting rejected constantly then by all means chase after people who you already know will reject you. If you are holding out hope that you will be that one in a million who ends up with that physically perfect specimen then who am I to shoot down your dreams.
 ToughLuv1984
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 109
Dating within' your League
Posted: 12/2/2009 1:06:36 AM
The people trying to convince others there are no leagues are usually the ones with the most to gain by abolishing them ie. they get no luv.

Sure, get drunk on the notion this is a totally egalitarian open minded free to pursue whomever you choose world... tell us how you feel when you get SMACKED down. LOL.
 944man
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 110
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Dating within' your League
Posted: 12/2/2009 5:20:45 AM
There are leagues, but there are many other factors involved in dating. It's good to do some self reflection and look at yourself honestly. As an example i'm no Richard Gere but that doesn't mean i have no hope of dating women i find attractive. I may not land many "10's" but i can and have dated some attractive women. Thankfully there is more to it than just looks. Character and personality do count. I also don't quit and give up easily, be confident and beleive in yourself, the worst they can say is no or nothing. Don't let it bother you and move on. You have to have some backbone and don't become frustrated, there is hope.
 MsStackhouse
Joined: 5/20/2009
Msg: 111
Dating within' your League
Posted: 12/2/2009 5:38:55 AM
I'm a big believer in "Leagues". Although personally I don't consider myself to be out of anyone's league, I would never persue a guy who was "10". I'm certainly no supermodel, therefore I wouldn't expect a Christian Bale look-a-like to want to date me. I like to "stick to my own kind" and date regular/average guys.

Last year I dated a wealthy, successful attorney and felt like a fish out of water or something...it's hard to explain...
 WinstonDoubtfire
Joined: 7/29/2009
Msg: 112
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Dating within' your League
Posted: 12/2/2009 6:29:02 AM
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen strikes again!

There are leagues just as there are cliques.
I suppose they're the same thing.

Closest I ever came to outside-of-my-league was when I dated a well to do entrepreneur that also danced professionally...she was limber, but I felt so out of touch.

I dunno...breaking the mold is good, and bad...
 el lagarto
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 113
Dating within' your League
Posted: 12/2/2009 11:56:16 AM
Over time, I've seen so many couples that seemed , from first glance , to be mis-matched somehow - but they were clearly working - often with a good bit of years to them.

So I believe we should all at least try to interact with a person that draws us - no matter what sorts of differences may be there .

Ya just never know how things might go !

And what's the worst that can happen ? They turn you down - you move on !
 Countryboy_toronto
Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 114
Dating within' your League
Posted: 12/2/2009 3:02:24 PM
Hmm interesting question really.

Do 'leagues' exist? I think they do to an extend, but most are self-imposed. I think there are certain minimum 'bars' or 'standards' that you ultimately have to clear but other than that it's pretty much open season.

I am definitely not a 10 but have certainly pursued, dated and 'had' women who were over the past few years. I think that for the most part you have to clear a certain minimum standard of looks, education, and professional success to have a shot with someone. I don't think that only university educated people date other university educated people, only 10's date 10's, and only the wealthy date the wealthy.

For the most part if you have a decent job, are relatively intelligent, aren't a troll in terms of looks, healthy / fit and can hold reasonable conversation with someone only have a shot with pretty much anyone. Of the above criteria the only thing that you can't control are your looks, and even then you can through hygeine, clothes, and a few reasonably priced consumer products make yourself look better.
 pandusvenator
Joined: 11/17/2009
Msg: 115
Dating within' your League
Posted: 12/2/2009 3:06:32 PM
I'm sure leagues exist as personal perceptions.

Nothing is out of my league.
 Defensor Fortis
Joined: 11/26/2009
Msg: 116
Dating within' your League
Posted: 12/2/2009 3:06:48 PM
How do you know what "league" your in? haha I was trying to figure out what "league" to classify myself into, but came up blank.
 DarkKent
Joined: 10/14/2009
Msg: 117
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Dating within' your League
Posted: 12/2/2009 3:12:11 PM
I don't really think about leagues...I hang out with some REALLY attractive women...I go out with some average...some meh, just depends. I used to think that it mattered until I realized exactly who I was getting attention from. Strangely i've had better luck with women I at one point would have seen as out of my league and ignored by a few well fed trolls, go figure. You have to be a realist though, most people act for personal gain, it does well to use yourself as bait, pretend to be aloof and watch their actions.
 DarkKent
Joined: 10/14/2009
Msg: 118
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Dating within' your League
Posted: 12/2/2009 3:13:56 PM
Best way to get the attention of the most attractive woman in the office...say "excuse me" and politely/professionally move past her to get to something or continue working. Be friendly without giving her the time of day, once she realizes you're not gay and if you actually have something to talk about...boom.
 Countryboy_toronto
Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 119
Dating within' your League
Posted: 12/2/2009 3:17:28 PM

Best way to get the attention of the most attractive woman in the office...say "excuse me" and politely/professionally move past her to get to something or continue working. Be friendly without giving her the time of day, once she realizes you're not gay and if you actually have something to talk about...boom.


Dude. Does the phrase "Don't shit where you eat" mean anything to you? I mean, I'm all for the tactic that you're using but IMO work is completely off limits.
 DarkKent
Joined: 10/14/2009
Msg: 120
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Dating within' your League
Posted: 12/2/2009 3:19:33 PM


Trust me there are and they DO exist. Can you see ME approaching say Jennifer Aniston and her actually saying "yes, I'd love to go out with you" I think not, would never happen even if I DID have a sh*t load of cash. She's simply out of my league.

Wasn't she dating that one actor that looks like if he goes to sleep "THEY" will come and get him..the restless looking dude. Argh, whats his name....looks had nothing to do with that. As far as the actresses....i can't judge men that well but most male actors don't look like models at all. And in their own defense..ok some of the women look better but I still see better when out regularly. Some of the ladies are as crazy as cat sh*t but they're out there. LoL!
 DarkKent
Joined: 10/14/2009
Msg: 121
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Dating within' your League
Posted: 12/2/2009 3:22:34 PM
No not really...it did for a while but to be honest. You meet people WHERE YOU CAN MEET PEOPLE. I'm more into being the perfect partner instead of meeting the perfect partner. I don't block my emotions in any way but if it doesn't work...it's as simple as that...i cringe for a day or two, then you're dismissed. Whether I dump her or she dumps me...i can guarantee that I won't be the one bringing a malicious wrong to the relationship. If it's her doing....fine, leave me alone. If its something she FELT I did...I can only ask her "really..." a few times and they tend to just drop it.


But if you must know my parents worked at the same place for some 30 years. =)
 Leagueofextraordinarymen
Joined: 3/24/2008
Msg: 122
Dating within' your League
Posted: 12/2/2009 3:56:41 PM
There are leagues; Social status, Professions(not as much), Money; I'm sure all of us on here attend the local bar in the Hammond's, 100$ cover charge and a round of drinks for 300$ for 6 . It's more about social status. You see it on here in the forums, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but "social status" is well lets just say "out of some peoples league". I'm sure everyone is running around looking to date a person who is unemployed for what ever reason.
Not knocking people on welfare,but there are bars known just for that status, and there are bars, that most people would not want to put on a suit to get into, just because, yet some people wear a suit everyday and wouldn't think twice about it. Your average joe or jane, would not stand a chance with the social elitists, sure they might be attracted to you, but your not getting in unless your shoes are worth as much as your car.
The Arab Emirates is a class (league) of its own ,no one on this site would crack that code.
 DarkKent
Joined: 10/14/2009
Msg: 123
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Dating within' your League
Posted: 12/2/2009 4:37:35 PM
With that said, i'll say i'm middle class and at the same time I have some very rich friends and I'm around people with a lot of money, it depends. Some carry an eliteness to them, some...are very calm and just look for cool people that won't screw them over and aren't after their money. With that said Ive seen very rich people date 'bum's all the time. In HS my buddys gfs house cost about $10mil, and this is in north carolina, you can imagine the size and structure of that house, ridiculous. He's probably upper middle class, but her dad....yeah. Really really old money.

Sigh...must I get in to ultra shape, draw attention on the internet and seduce Oprah just to prove a point. Joking, I can't prove it...but i have a strong suspicion that that woman likes the softer softer halfs.
 sweetlikesugarcane
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 124
Dating within' your League
Posted: 12/2/2009 4:48:44 PM
I don't think people understand what people mean by "leagues".

It has nothing to do with a hot girl dating a not-so-hot guy. That is normal! Look at all of the pretty celebrities. What percentage of them have been with average looking men like Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob. Or Beyonce and Jay Z.

Even much older men or overweight men can get a "hot" girl if the guy has what she wants- usually money, but sometimes just someone who treats her well.
 DarkKent
Joined: 10/14/2009
Msg: 125
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Dating within' your League
Posted: 12/2/2009 5:05:17 PM
Well break it down a little....i've read every post but I might be missing something.

Maybe Beyonce has a thing for soup coolers Dunno, I don't think I could use money to bring an attractive woman to me. There would have to be a lot of tests, hoop jumping and i'd probably lose respect.

So good looks to money doesn't necessarily = a league to me. More so desperation meet greed. I'd say i'd have to look for chemistry but women become such d*mn good actors once they see something they want.
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