| Does accepting an expensive dinner from a man obligates a woman to have sex with him?
Posted: 4/12/2008 10:55:50 AM | Hi Mr. Velvet,
"He was saying that if a woman accepts an expensive dinner from a man, She is pretty much obligated to put out at the end of the night. If not she has broken some kind of unwritten rule."
I actually spit when I read this. My answer: bleeeeeeeh! Yeah right. Here's the thing.
Boy wants girl. Boy asks girl on date. Girl says, "Um, k." (very coquettishly)
Boy wants to impress girl in hopes of getting in panties. Boy says, "Where do YOU want to go?"
If girl says, "I don't know/care, you decide." Girl is uninteresting. So girl says her fav restaurant.
Upon arrival boy says, "Babe, order whatever you like." Girl says, "Um, k." However, girl knows that means anything but lobster or steak, b*tch.
At the end of the meal, boy says, "You want dessert?" Girl says, "Um, k." Girl orders tiramisu with TWO spoons and coffee.
After meal, boy says, "Ok, well now I want dessert."
Girl says, "Um, you've had it."
My point is, that's a stupid dance boys who can't get laid any other way play. Real men--age notwithstanding-- don't have expectations because of the price of anything. They do things whether it be gifts or meals or entertainment because they want to. If some idiot told me I owed him sex, period--for ANY reason--that guarantees he's NEVER getting a whiff. 
Edit to add: To the poster who said women should pay for half the date...I have done that. I have also picked up the entire check because I'm that kind of woman. If I want to I will. I will point out, I usually don't go dutch/pick up check unless we have been on several dates or you are my man. (I will pay for my coffee on a first meet--that doesn't count as a date.) Plainly, if you are trying to get to know me in return for the dinner you are getting my company and conversation. That is all you should expect. | |
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| Does accepting an expensive dinner from a man obligates a woman to have sex with him?
Posted: 4/12/2008 11:27:10 AM | | the words I am focusing on are man and woman which would imply adult but alas such assumptions can't be made nowadays right as clearly reflected from your post of what you overheard a MAN say.The thing about this kind of scenario is that sometimes these same MEN view this woman as a prize and won't take no for an answer.These MEN claim to have more self respect then to approach a hooker but treat every woman they encounter as just that.It is sad but true and more and more women are being standoffish about the whole dating scene,and rightly so,due to this malice behaviour. | |
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| Does accepting an expensive dinner from a man obligates a woman to have sex with him?
Posted: 4/12/2008 11:38:03 AM |
Would a man really accept guilt sex from a woman under those circumstances?
Unfortunately, there are damaged men out there who will accept "guilt sex" or any kind of sex,short of forcible rape or flat out paying a hooker.
Smart women simply avoid allowing a man to spend significant money on them until they are fairly certain the man is not in that pathetic category.
On a couple of occasions, when I've heard men whining about asking a woman out, showing her a good time and getting "nothing in return", I have offered the suggestion, loudly and bluntly! that next time he should just hire a hooker in whatever price range he's happy with.
Cindy O | |
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| Does accepting an expensive dinner from a man obligates a woman to have sex with him?
Posted: 4/12/2008 11:42:14 AM | Because some women Fantasize about being wined and dined, some men expect the end of the evening to be what they Fantasize about. You will not have to search far on the forums to find females complaining about guys who went cheap on a date and how indignant they are that the men thought a simple meal at ______ restaurant would result in _______. There are folks of both sexes that keep these rituals alive. There is no menu that equates “ One large fry = one brief hand job” , but some would prefer it to be that simple, yes ?
There is a difference between:
“ I am going to impress her by getting a table at _______. If i do maybe she will look more favorably on me and want to get to know me. If she gets to know me, maybe she’ll like me . If she likes me ......
AND
“ That lobster set me back a weeks pay. She better make sure she needs that bib later on in the
evening!”
I am sure i am setting myself up for some fun emails, but there is another small piece to this puzzle.
IF a woman has a Fantasy about being swept off her feet by a guy who can open the door at an
expensive establishment and be greeted by all of the staff by name before being whisked away to
the best table in house, I’ll wager that there is a bit more to the Fantasy. She might also picture the guy who makes all of this happen to be charming, attractive, funny, attractive, no-pressure, attractive and suave enough not to say something like : “ You better save some room baby. The main course for YOUR meal is my Tube Steak which you better be able to swallow in one gulp on your knees in the alley or you’ll be walking home.”
Mating Rituals do not equal Commerce , yes ? Did the OP expect women to line up to post on this thread detailing the exact number of dollars that they expect before performing specific sex acts ?
The problem today is that we do not agree on what our societies Mating Rituals entail. Well, that and
the fact that no one wants a guy over 50 from Ohio. If we solved both of these problems, the dating
sites would be much less crowded. | |
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| Does accepting an expensive dinner from a man obligates a woman to have sex with him?
Posted: 4/12/2008 11:51:02 AM | " The problem today is that we do not agree on what our societies Mating Rituals entail"
esad - too true...for some...or is it?
I see alot of women posting here that they pay for themselves or at least offer. We can afford to these days ya know. I always offer but I let him pay if he asked me and wants to pay if it makes him feel more comfortable. It's only common sense and courtesy to offer and give us credit - don't you think there are a sizeable proportion of people with common sense?
Isn't that what makes it common. That most people know it?
I hear and have experienced horror stories from both sexes but I'm not willing to be so cynical to say that the majority are users and takers on either side.
BTW - thanks for the encouragement meteor 54.
can anyone tell me... how do you do bold formatting on here (yes I'm in technology but I'm a closet luddite - well... I'm out of the closet now) | |
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| Does accepting an expensive dinner from a man obligates a woman to have sex with him?
Posted: 4/12/2008 12:05:35 PM | Hey, buy my dinner anytime you'd like. We all like free dinners. You wouldn't have a relationship except for a free meal. Who's next, right.? I can make this decision easily. Men stop treating women like they're woth it! We have what they want and what they don't want. So let them pick us and let them buy dinner.  | |
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| Does accepting an expensive dinner from a man obligates a woman to have sex with him?
Posted: 4/12/2008 12:53:44 PM | esad - too true...for some...or is it?
SOME is just about enough to make it "not all" which is more than enough to match up
two people who do not agree.
I see alot of women posting here that they pay for themselves or at least offer. We can afford to these days ya know. I always offer but I let him pay if he asked me and wants to pay if it makes him feel more comfortable. It's only common sense and courtesy to offer and give us credit - don't you think there are a sizeable proportion of people with common sense?
In a word, NO! We do not all agree. Ever read a line similar to this: “ I always offer to help pay
and if a guy lets me this shows what a looser he is .” ? Some offer and mean it. Others offer as some sort of weird test. SOME guys are offended if a woman offers to pay. SOME are cranky if they do not. BOTH Genders live by “rules” that no one agrees on, even among themselves. Ain't Love Grande ? 
Isn't that what makes it common. That most people know it?
No, it is a term that can describe what some THINK everyone “knows” and what can lead to so many misunderstandings, bitterness, and very entertaining threads here on POF. 
Doesn't everyone know that ? Isn't that just common sense ? 
can anyone tell me... how do you do bold formatting on here (yes I'm in technology but I'm a closet luddite - well... I'm out of the closet now)
I tired via email, ..... but i do not "live in Canada" . | |
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| Does accepting an expensive dinner from a man obligates a woman to have sex with him?
Posted: 4/12/2008 1:51:59 PM | 1.. Women are not worth fancy dates until you date them a long time. Actually suggest she get in the kitchen and cook you something. She would most likely have more respect for you.
2. If you have expendable cash, hire an escort. She will be much more appreciative of the dinner, and you will get some for sure. You will also probably have much better conversation, as you are paying a professional, and not listening to a woman yap about herself, then tell you she doesn't feel chemistry after she ordered half the menu and a bottle of wine.
3. Stay away from whiny women that expect to be taken to expensive places. If they have fine dining on their profile, another clue to stay away.
That reminds me of a line from Kill Bill, when the Old Chinese guy says "Ahh American woman good for nothing but spending mans money and ordering at expensive restaurants." | |
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| Does accepting an expensive dinner from a man obligates a woman to have sex with him?
Posted: 4/12/2008 3:34:14 PM | ^^^^^^ psssst, atlantaman
"suggest she get in the kitchen and cook you something. She would most likely have more respect for you."
Um, a man can suggest all he wants but as my skills are superb he is only getting a cooked meal from me, if he is special to me.
"If you have expendable cash, hire an escort. She will be much more appreciative of the dinner, and you will get some for sure. You will also probably have much better conversation, as you are paying a professional, and not listening to a woman yap about herself, then tell you she doesn't feel chemistry after she ordered half the menu and a bottle of wine. "
An escort puts up with men who make silly statements like this because she is paid to. In her mind, she's thinking about how pathetic he is because he has to pay someone to break bread with him and then blow him after. Btw, he would pay for her and the meal. If Ashley Dupre is any example, it's going to cost a helluvalot more than just dinner.
To your point about fine dining, personally, if I'm going out to eat I want to go to a restaurant with cloth napkins where the chef is not in high school and can cook better than I can.  | |
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| Does accepting an expensive dinner from a man obligates a woman to have sex with him?
Posted: 4/12/2008 4:39:16 PM | LMAO ... I started a thread about such a thing ... only the opposite.
I was going on the assumption that a lot of men do expect us ladies to "put out" if they buy us dinner. So, I wanted to know if we could expect the same from a man ... I asked if we ladies have a man over for dinner (we cook/provide the meal) and then also provide the entertainment (music or movie), can we expect him to drop his drawers for us?
It seems the men seemed all too willing. Some said we wouldn't even have to provide the music or movie, while still others felt that the drawers might come off already while the dinner was being prepared.
Some of the ladies felt that if they provided that much for the men that they should not only "put out" for us ... but also wash the car, mow the lawn, and fix the leaky faucet in the bathroom.
It was all quite entertaining ... the things that were said in that thread.
OT ...
I'm not comfortable accepting an expensive dinner from men that I don't know well ... i.e. if I'm not in a relationship with a man already ... I am not going to be inclined to be having such an expensive dinner with him ... that would be a really special occasion, like an anniversary or birthday perhaps.
I should hope that in general, men would not expect us to "put out" in return for any kind of nice date ... be it a movie, miniature golf, a day at the beach/on the boat, or just a quick cup of coffee.
Let's hope that men of that mentality are few and far between and basically just end up wandering around out there until they fall off the face of the earth. | |
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| Does accepting an expensive dinner from a man obligates a woman to have sex with him?
Posted: 4/12/2008 4:45:09 PM | | that is pretty shallow if a man expects sex for a nice dinner. The integrity of some men are absolutely bad. If a women wants to have sex you can go to Taco Bell and she will still have sex, if she wants to. I like to take a woman to a nice restaurant to make a good first impression not to have sex. Anyway how well do you really know this woman does she have an STD does she want to set the man up to get her pregnant. A man really needs to think about it. | |
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