| Need a mans point of view - Help!?
Posted: 4/13/2008 5:50:35 AM | Okay once again. I am NOT making myself available to him. I do not answer his calls. He leaves me emails, I do read but don't respond.
So he is NOT getting "the milk for free". I am NOT his Booty Call, His bed warmer, His back up g/f, a filler for lonely nights. I do have self respect, even if he does not respect!
I was just wanting a mans point of veiw as to why they would think that it went down this way.
Break up with me but act as though we are some what still a couple.
Thats all fellas.... Once again thanks for the feedback.
Have a wonderful Sunday!
Enjoy - Shawn | |
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| Need a mans point of view - Help!?
Posted: 4/13/2008 6:18:27 AM | Re the OPost
I will not jump to conclusions like others seem to.
"...Then about 2 weeks after that things started changing. He started getting distant and then after Easter weekend he told me that he didn't think he loved me enough to pursue anything more...."
That is what he said. Is that what he really meant? Maybe it was the opposite and got cold feet. Only the OP and him know all the daily details of the rel.
"...but he calls me all the time and wants me to come over to his house and spend the night and all that crap. HE has been keeping in contact with me. HE gets pissed when he thinks I am talking to another man or if he sees another man showing any kind of interest in me. He is Jealous, BUT why..? He does not want me."
He SAID he did not want the OP. He said. He said. What did his action show before the breakup? Men can be complicated too!
2 cents | |
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| Need a mans point of view - Help!?
Posted: 4/13/2008 6:19:40 AM | Just curious.
You say that everywhere you go, he's there. I'm guessing he's local to this area so is it possible that he's just going to the same places he's always gone and you're just more aware of him? After all, Jackson isn't exactly a metropolis. | |
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| Need a mans point of view - Help!?
Posted: 4/13/2008 7:18:53 AM | Your right that very well could be true. Maybe I am more aware of him. Just seems like he wasn't out and about this much before.
Thanks for the insight. =] | |
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| Need a mans point of view - Help!?
Posted: 4/13/2008 7:23:08 AM | His actions before the dump, where I love you I love you. Can't wait to grow old with you. Your the best thing thats ever happend to me.
All up until that Crapy Tuesday morning after Easter.
Now you can see why I just don't get it.
Maybe it is cold feet. Maybe he THOUGHT I was what he wanted. Who knows?
He said he does not have any answers. I find that hard to believe.
Just seems a little odd to me. | |
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| Need a mans point of view - Help!?
Posted: 4/13/2008 8:28:31 AM |
I think I need to clarify something. I am in no means putting myself out there to be "available" to him. I was just stating that He calls me and asks me to always come over and stay the night after He let me go.
I think this conversation has gotten a bit off track. OP said she has moved on. However, she is confused as to why he has not. OP, as I said before, I think you need to proceed with caution.
This guy sounds like a clinger. He is looking for a way back in. For what ever reason, whether it is as a safety net or to control you, the point is this seems like a tricky set of circumstances. Everytime you give him time, he convinces himself he still has a way in. And perhaps he does. If you have moved on, then you need to create some separation. There needs to be a definite line between you. That's what I think you have to get across to him from here on out. Maybe you need to try some new places to hangout so you don't run into him. Don't make yourself available, unless you want to give him another chance. In which case, I advise caution.
I don't know about playing hard to get. I'm not really into games. You could certainly limit contact to public venues or get togethers. Don't be alone with him. Bring your own transportation. Make him meet you some place with your friends around and don't let him take you home. Do this for a while and see if he is willing to submit to your terms. If he does then go real slow. Watch all of the signs and listen to your friends. Personally though, I would get back into a situation only if I believed there was very good reason too (i.e. You love him and he made and admitted a mistake.) Good luck. | |
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| Need a mans point of view - Help!?
Posted: 4/13/2008 8:52:11 PM | He might be a control freak, etc., which can mean just about anything. Tell him not to contact you again. Check on the internet your states "stalking laws". If he gets too weird take out a restraining order. Go buy some power tools for your erotic zone and sleep with the cat and dog. If he wants to be a "big boy" he can learn to swallow, too.
The Big E | |
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| Need a mans point of view - Help!?
Posted: 4/13/2008 9:14:44 PM | Hi Shawn...
interesting post...
Shawn, seems you will never ever find out 'the why', and if you try to figure all this stuff out...you will just be jumping at straws....sorry to hear of this heart break...
One thing for sure is he isn't in to committment -from what you have described he sounds like a rebounder, controller, and on the verge of becoming a real sharp thorn in your side (stalker).
My recommendation is to break this communication (email/phone/etc) and stress to him there is to be no more contact and wish him the very best and move forward with your life (as many have said). So, if he doesn't listen and is still hounding you you take the next steps to keep him out of your life -and your kids life..etc... (This might involve police and/or orders being involved) Keep a record or collection of evidence -of all happenings -never know what develps these days....
Anyway, wishing you the very best in your new life ahead -Happy Fishing!
O:) | |
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| Need a mans point of view - Help!?
Posted: 4/13/2008 10:33:26 PM | | i would say, unstable, he is treating you like your a booty call , personal thought would be stalker type, or his way of controlling you, either way, shows no respect for you, would tell him, nope we are through, | |
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| Need a mans point of view - Help!?
Posted: 4/14/2008 12:34:41 AM | | What happened as with most cases with both men and women in relationships, they start off saying "I love you" yet to most just little more than words. Then they find later on they really have some serious feelings of love your that person they never knew was possible. And so they have finally found one they truly love, then fear of losing that person soon sets in. They find themselves saying and doing all kinds of stuff pretending like they really didn't care because they are afraid of being hurt if they do lose you which they usually end up doing if they keep on focusing on those fears... Hopefully when someone does that, the other person can truly understand and look past all that, seeing what is happening for what it really is, forgiving them, and letting them know that you're not going anywhere if that is the case. Most people see that and book immediately, it's understandable either way, but if there were any true love there, a person doesn't run away the first time "trouble" rears it's head in any relationship wheather just family, friends, or something more serious... | |
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| Need a mans point of view - Help!?
Posted: 4/14/2008 12:58:19 AM |
and never a cross word or argument between us.
10 Red flags right there (without reading other comments.)
Disagreements, arguments, or expressing how you feel brings to people closer together by initiating the process of genuine "compromise."
If you don't have 'em, it was never real. | |
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| Need a mans point of view - Help!?
Posted: 4/14/2008 7:47:53 AM | | You're not answering his calls which is good but you still read his emails. Depending on your email settings a sender can tell if his/her email has been read. If he still sends you emails either delete without reading or change your email address. | |
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| Need a mans point of view - Help!?
Posted: 4/14/2008 7:58:13 AM | OK, Shawnee, Think of it like Andy Rooney put it on 60 minutes (what he thinks about women over 40), but this part can pertain to your situation:
For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?", here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage! | |
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| Need a mans point of view - Help!?
Posted: 4/14/2008 10:16:17 AM | Um, this might be a bit crazy, but have you ever thought of asking HIM what happened?!? No one here will be able to tell you what is going on in his head. We are not the Borg. Please ignore the Star Trek reference!  | |
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| Need a mans point of view - Help!?
Posted: 4/14/2008 10:30:06 AM | I think you have hit all the right answer's... Please tell him that its overwith and you want to move on to bigger and better things... And then do just that!!
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| Need a mans point of view - Help!?
Posted: 4/14/2008 3:15:54 PM |
and never a cross word or argument between us.
10 Red flags right there (without reading other comments.)
Disagreements, arguments, or expressing how you feel brings to people closer together by initiating the process of genuine "compromise."
If you don't have 'em, it was never real.
That's only true for some cases.... I know some couples where were best friends before marriage and haven't had any arguments in at least 14 years they been married because even though they are married, they are also still best friends. And see many cases like that. Given there are some that just keep it all bottled up til one or both explode and having some little argument grow out of proportion that what it was ends up bringing the relationship to a halt... | |
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| Need a mans point of view - Help!?
Posted: 4/14/2008 3:44:41 PM | | I'd suggest it's time to move on, though you could simply confront him, either in person or in email, and ask him what's going on. | |
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| Need a mans point of view - Help!?
Posted: 4/14/2008 9:39:43 PM | Well of course I have asked him. He is the first person I asked...lol
I am not asking for you to tell me whats going on he is head. Just some input more or less from people who might be in a similar situation or have been there done that. That's all.
Thanks for the response though....=]
Have a wonderful week! | |
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| Need a mans point of view - Help!?
Posted: 4/15/2008 3:03:10 AM | | He still wants to be able to dip into the honey pot whenever he wants it, but he doesn't want to be tied to you. He's not really into you, but he still likes the idea of being with you when it's convenient for him. | |
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| Need a mans point of view - Help!?
Posted: 5/2/2008 5:22:55 PM | lol & what did he say? ;)
I know it's said 'guys only' opinion asked for, I'm a woman but thought to throw in my 2c. :)
You state you have 3 kids on your profile. Kids & holidays & families & holidays... It may be slightly scary for some people... Maybe he just realized he's not up for that sort of commitment...
& may still like you as 'you' (or a booty call), but without the kids & without the responsibilities...
Or maybe 'the one year' is his standard amount of time he gives to potential relationships, & then if he isn't sure by then, calls it off... (weirder things have happened..)
Or he wants a harem & you're just one of the belles he's been courting to get in... :)
Anyway, is this matter all cleared up or have any questions remained? :) | |
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| Need a mans point of view - Help!?
Posted: 5/2/2008 5:46:05 PM | How funny..... he does not think he loves you enough but he wants to "make love" to you......
Bottom line: He is a jerk.
Lose him and lose him fast. He is using you.
Peace | |
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