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| Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 5/9/2008 6:54:20 PM | Anyone can be friends. Inherent in the inter-gender "friend" relationship is the potential (not absolute or indicative of a current desire) of one person attempting to obtain something the other may not wish to associate with the relationship as the friendship progresses.
With the greater acceptance of bisexuality and homosexuality in mainstream relationships I am wondering why no one has asked if anyone can truly be friends anymore. How do you know your best same sex friend isn't in the closet waiting to jump out and yell "I wanna boogity boogity bugger you!"
Personally, I just tend to stay away from people who consider themselves "friends to animals." | |
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| Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 5/9/2008 11:14:32 PM | | I don't think so, no matter if he has a girlfriend or not, him doing you has crossed his mind atleast once, if not more..it's just not possible, unless he is GAY. | |
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| Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 5/10/2008 1:44:25 AM | | they can be, i have a very good friend for 10 years now, we do things almost weekly. its just in this day and age people thing its all about sex. (p.s. i am a stright male) | |
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| Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 5/10/2008 7:52:00 AM | | Apparently not. I have known several guys that I talked to for some time and we enjoyed each other's company, emailing and calling. I have dated a couple of them and we seemed to get along great but then they get too busy or mysteriously disappear. My last boyfriend said he can't date anymore. Well maybe he is too busy to date, would rather spend his time working himself into the grave, babysitting his grandkids while his daughter is out having fun, but what is to stop him from picking up the phone or emailing? I don't understand why it is when you have are having a good time with someone even if you aren't dating or decided to stop dating that person, that you can't keep in touch as friends. It just seems like my life has too many sudden endings without even a finish. So no I don't think men are capable of being friends without they are attracted to the woman. Men are shallow | |
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| Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 5/10/2008 9:03:10 AM | For the most part no, they can't be. Any women I am friends with most of the time it is because I find them attractive and easy to be around. Would I necessarily want to date them all? No, but I would definitely have a desire to hook up with them.
The only time I find it otherwise is if I make friends with someone at work or something similar. I am spending 40 hours a week with them and there is a good chance someone there I will enjoy interacting with regardless of how I view their looks. It doesn't always translate well into friendship outside of work though. | |
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| Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 5/10/2008 9:50:41 AM | Of Course they can.....
But why is sexual attraction and friendship mutaully exclusive.
I have several female friends that I find very attractive. They know it because I've told them I find them attractive. They also know I will never approach them in a sexual manner unless they come to me and tell me they want a change in statis. In fact women that were not "my type" often become more attractive as friendship grows. This doesn't mean suddenly I can't hang out without trying to get her ito bed.
The closer you get to a person on a personal level the greater chance of sexual attraction.
Just because a female friend a man finds attractive on a sexual level gets married doesn't stop the attraction. He just compartmentalizes the attraction the same as he would a moviestar or a model ........just for athstetic appreiciation.
People that don't believe a man and woman can be friends
a) don't understand friendship
b) can't or don't want to separate emotion and sex (or doesn't understand the difference
c) don't understand and/or come to grips with their own sexuality
d) don't realize that friendship IS A RELATIONSHIP
Emotional closeness both transends and promotes sexual desire. People just have to be open with each other and themselves on what they want out of a relationship and what they are willing to give up or accept to keep the relationship viable.
Sometimes that requires giving up the sexual part of a relationship to enjoy the emotional and social relationship.
By the way ........Female friends make the best girlfriends and sexual partners as they are looking out for your best interests and want to please you as much as they do themselves. | |
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| Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 5/10/2008 5:22:38 PM | men and women can most certainly be friends. but the underlying reason is still the same kind of attraction as in the search for a mate. in order to be friends you have to be each other's type, or you wouldn't get along. bottom line, if two oppositely-gendered friends were single and bored, and the girl said "let's hump right now" every guy in the world would do it. i'm not saying guys befriend girls to create a pool of possible lays, and i'm not saying girls befriend guys to feel more confident.
i feel that a lot of our practices and behaviours can be harkened back to simpler prehistoric times. men befriend men to hunt in packs. they befriend women for companionship (in whatever capacity). women befriend each other for companionship when the males are out.
it is not as simple as all that, mind, but a friend is exactly the same as a boy-/girl-friend, just without the sex. you generally don't make friends that are ass-ugly in your opinion, and you don't make friends whose views are wildly opposite yours. bottom line, the reasons for becoming a friend and a partner are the same. what happens in practice may not get past the friend level, and may not have even been consciously designed as an opportunity to take it to that level, however you know if you look at it that the possibility is there if life works out that way.
these are jmo, but i believe there's a lot of truth to it. anyone who says "well x is my friend of the opposite sex and i would never..." fails to take the other variables out of the equation. of course there are reasons why you aren't sleeping with each and every one of your friends right now, but those reasons aside and taking each case individually, there would be no reason not to and it would not make sense not to carry it to the level.
and when you start off somewhat romantically and decide "better off friends", it's because you're too nice to hurt them badly, and/or that although not a perfect match they are still someone you would consider should "a better friend" fail to come along.
i really believe i'm right on this. we're not all dirty sluts, but it's just the way our minds are wired. i'm not your friend because i want to sleep with you, and i won't be upset if we don't, but no question i would if it worked out that way. it's not a big deal if you don't make anything of it. plus i read it in hemingway, and he's a straight shooter.
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| Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 5/10/2008 6:59:51 PM | If there is attraction from either of them towards the other......NOPE. That will always get in the way.
I've had friendships end because I was attracted to them, and acted on it, and was shot down, or vice versa.
If I want to be with them, but they're not attracted to me, it's too hard to see them with other people. You can call me selfish, jealous, and all that crap, but I WILL NOT put myself through that hell again. It's too hard. I hear
"I don't want to ruin our friendship" or
"You're too nice a guy" or
"I don't think about you that way."
I'm gone. Period. | |
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| Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 5/10/2008 8:13:17 PM | I have bunch of female friends.
they're all attractive in my book.
Zero problems...why?
because I am not an animal!
I dont go with instincts....
I have something called "self control"
finding a date to get laid is alot easier than
finding a true friend.
the juice is not worth the squeeze.
Thank you...... | |
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| Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 5/11/2008 11:47:59 AM | "He explained to me that men have and always will look at women as a piece of ass and nothing more. "
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Over the years I have had many women friends - and I even kept in contact with some of them while I was married - my wife knew them and even had drinks with a few of them. I would expect any woman I meet to have male friends and she should be accepting of my female friends. | |
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| Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 5/11/2008 1:56:57 PM | | From a man's point of view....sure casual friends that are part of a group. I would say any one one one type friend there is some sexual tension regardless of whether anything more then that happens. Girls can have a girlfriend and guys can have a guy friend....and then there are group friends. Thats it! | |
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| Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 5/11/2008 3:36:35 PM |
I would say any one one one type friend there is some sexual tension regardless of whether anything more then that happens.
That my friend is a very broad statement. Over the years I have had great female FRIENDS whom I would never even consider having sex with -- too headstrong, or not headstrong enough, take your choice. There is a place in every persons life for people you DO want sex from and people you DO NOT want sex from. Really quite simple.
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| Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 5/12/2008 5:07:37 AM | | My best and lifelong friend was a girl, and when she left for the airforce I was sadder seeing her go than any girlfriend in the past or future. She was gorgeous and the type of girl you would wanna be in a relationship with for the rest of your life, but she was my best friend and that never changed. | |
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| Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 5/12/2008 5:19:43 AM | My best friend is a man. He doesn't want me in that way (he has an effin girlfriend) and I don't want him in that way. We're incredibly close, and we love and respect each other very much.
In this situation yes. If the man is single though, probably not.
Personally, I have a female co-worker who comes close to being a friend and I've met a
few women on here who I would also consider friends and that's about it. The rest are all men. As for the co-worker, sexual tension has been building up over time yet I can't go through with it because of the complications that will arise. And I think that would apply to most single men friendships with women over time and usually once something sexual does happen, the friendship ends.
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| Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 5/12/2008 6:49:37 AM | | Of course we can be friends....Having true female friends opens up a whole new level of intellect....imo. | |
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| Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 5/12/2008 3:46:12 PM |
Can men and women be friends?
With benefits? Sure. ;)
More seriously, though, ask me again when I'm again attached. ;)
Yet still more seriously; yes men and women can be platonic friends, but if there's enough attraction to be friends in the first place, then there may be difficulties on both sides keeping it platonic. I say this from experience. I've both seduced, and been seduced by, friends. Oh the shame. ;P
...Perhaps it can be like drinking with a friend who's not and is trying to quit; or waving a bone that has juicy tender pieces of meat clinging to it in front of a hungry dog who has been trained not to accept bones. | |
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| Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 5/12/2008 4:06:27 PM | funny my two best friends are guys ! we have been friends for over two years now and i dont even think of them in that way at all ! also we have laid the cards out and said we will never date ever .. one of them is gay so it well never happen !  | |
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| Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 5/12/2008 4:09:33 PM | kimba28 wrote:
funny my two best friends are guys...one of them is gay so it well never happen!
Yes, funny that. ;P | |
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| Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 5/12/2008 4:27:01 PM | I have many female friends that I talk to or hangout with all the time. In fact, I have more female friends than males. The guy who told you that women and men cant be friends has no self control, and is probably young too.  | |
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